Totally Awesome Sweet Alabama Liquid Snake

Transcription Below:

Title: Variation in Cardassian Tails Subtitle: 57548.9 - Dr Warren

'All volunteers arrived and comfortable disrobing for study. A wide array of tail sizes and styles - really good! Dr Siroc taking cellular diamatron scans, Nurse Jaa'tun interviewing for cultural insight and lifestyle details.'

'Tails range in length. Of the sample group, max size is 122cm and min is 38cm full grown. Vertebral scales continue along length and culminate in a small patch of hair similar in density to head hair.'

Diagram annotation: 'Slender = less lower back strength?'

'Minimal dexterity - mainly used for balance and sparring compared to the prehensile Bajoran or Vulcan tail. Most subjects can move them in all directions at will, but are unable to grasp objects due to thickness of muscle'

'Several subjects of Bajoran/Cardassian origin provide sorely lacking mixed-species input. Most have mild scaling across tail surface and increased hair growth comparable to typical Bajoran tails. Increased dexterity, able to grasp small objects and even use tricorders (!)'

Diagram annotation: 'Lack of spinal scaling a benefit for dexterity?'

'Most older (>70) or military volunteers have cropped tails as traditional before The Fire. Interviews indicate all re-crop their new growth as a personal choice. None report loss of balance or agility but have had years to adjust: no newly-cropped subjects available as the practice has fallen out of fashion. Several report lower back pain and occasional uratel incontinence, all reference 'loyalty to Cardassia' in their reasoning for undergoing the procedure. Further study recommended.'

Diagram annotation: 'Fully healed (<1 season regrowth)'

'A variety of tail-hair styling seen today, both decorative and practical. Handmade beads favoured over replicated ones - a point of personal pride!'

Diagram annotations: 'Bone clasps. Glass beads. Tied up for work. Shorn Short.'