ā„ DEADPOOL SENTENCE STARTERS
ā³ feel free to adjust sentences to make it fit your muse better!
ā Ladies and gentlemen, I give you⦠me! ā
ā I had another Liam Neeson nightmare. I kidnapped his daughter and he just wasnāt having it. ā
ā Youāre probably thinking, āWhose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movieā? ā
ā You guys going for a bite? Early bird special? ā
ā Fuck, youāre old. ā
ā Fake laugh. Hiding real pain. Go get Silver Balls. ā
ā What the shit? Thatās the coolest name ever! ā
ā Now, Iām about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late 90s. ā
ā A fourth wall break inside a fourth wall break? Thatās like, sixteen walls. ā
ā My boyfriend said this was a superhero movie but that guy in the suit just turned that other guy into a fucking kabab! ā
ā Well, I may be super, but Iām no hero. ā
ā But some of the best love stories start with a murder. ā
ā Looks arenāt everything. ā
ā Hashtag drive-by. ā
ā Ugh, stupid, stupid. Worth it! ā
ā Thatās right! Youāre about to be killed by a zamboni! ā
ā Tell me where your fucking boss is or youāre going to die! In five minutes! ā
ā I shouldāve come and found you sooner, but the guy under this mask, he aināt the same one that you remember. ā
ā After a brief adjustment period and a bunch of drinks, itās a face⦠Iād be happy to sit on. ā
ā Time to make the chimi-fuckinā-changas. ā
ā Oh, I so pity the dude who pressures her into prom sex. ā
ā Whatever they did to me made me totally indestructible⦠and completely unfuckable. ā
ā Star in your own horror films. Because you look like Freddy Krueger face-fucked a topographical map of Utah. ā
ā Life is an endless series of trainwrecks with only brief commercial-like breaks of happiness. ā
ā Finish fucking her the fuck up. ā
ā This guyās got the right idea. he wore the brown pants. ā
ā Iād go with you, but⦠I donāt want to. ā
ā Iāve never said this to anyone before, but donāt swallow! ā
ā Your right leg is Thanksgiving and your left leg is Christmas. Can I come and visit you between the holidays? ā
ā I didnāt just get the cure to el cancer, I got the cure to el everything. ā
ā Ahhhh. Iām touching myself tonight. ā
ā Ahhh! Your poor wife! ā
ā Wanna get fucked up? ā
ā Daddy needs to express some rage. ā
ā Shit. Did I leave the stove on? ā
ā Well I hate to break it to you, but your forty-eight minutes are up. ā
ā Right up Main Street. ā
ā Have you decided what youāre gonna say to her? ā
ā I bet itās going to feel really big in that hand later⦠ā
ā This is a shameful and reckless use of your powers. ā
ā Why such a douche this morning? ā
ā Have you seen this man? ā