im gonna send this to him soon...
i dont wanna be with someone who thinks thats its unfair being with me.
whats funny is i feel like its unfair for you to ask me all this things when you havent even ask me to be your girlfriend.
you always say "my girl" but you dont even have the courage to own up to it. but now im realizing that maybe youre just telling me that to keep me around. whats stopping you to ask me to be official?
is label so important to me? yes it is. i told you before i dont feel certain with you. youre full of uncertainty and i dont like when i dont know whats gonna happen.
you wanna talk about fairness? lets talk about fairness then.
January - you told me its a busy month for you, its an expensive month. blah blah. okay fine! whatever. did you hear stuff from me? no.
i accepted that. i didnt say anything cuz i didnt think it was unfair. did i get what i want?? no.
our montreal trip. you said youre gonna pay me. wheres the man of his words? i dont think you have the right to tell me ure a man of ur words.
atleast i pay you when i say im gonna pay you. anyway doesnt matter now bc i enjoyed that trip with you. i get to spend time with you. did i think it was unfair that i paid for the whole trip? no. bc it was for your bday and as long as we had a fun time thats all that matters. i never once thought it was unfair for me.
February - you told me, "just let me go on my trip. after i come back." you implied youre gonna ask me when you come back. talk about bringing someone up then letting them down real quick.
then you come back and thats the first thing on your to do list. suddenly, "youre not ready" suddenly, you need time to learn to be alone. that wasnt fine with me, i told you that. i told you im just gonna move on. you ask for time, you said you werent ready. did i tell you "you werent gonna be ready?" no. i gave you time. i respected your decision. did i think that was unfair for me? yes. but i tried to understand where youre coming from.
did i get what i want? no.
also i think if you really like or l someone you wouldnt think of "fairness" that just told me a lot of things on how you see me or how you value this - whatever we have.
remember why im so nervous last saturday when you made plans for us? cuz part of me hoped that youll finally gonna ask me but part of me doesnt wanna be disappointed. guess what happened? news flash! another disappointment. but surprisingly this one didnt bother me that much compared to the other times so i guess im doing great on that department.
i dont go out partying with you, suddenly i get all what i want. also you gave me a short notice, how can i prepare myself for that. i dont like spontaneous plans. if you cudve just given me a weeks notice then i wud say yes.
i dont wanna sleepover, suddenly im the bad person.
i dont wanna go home late, suddenly you see it as i dont wanna spend time with you. you always just walk me to the door, you rarely walk me to the subway, and it only happens when were already out or when you have somewhere to go after. do i think that was unfair? do i consider that as you dont wanna spend time with me? no i didnt.
i cant drink that much, suddenly it bothers you.
i dont like drinking but i try it for you. every drink is hard for me but i still try but suddenly you see it as i dont try enough that i dont practice.
i was late a couple of times, i didnt know it was such a big deal that youll bring it up until now. you were late sometimes too but its okay for me, as long as you show up. did i think it was unfair? no.
you say i always win, wheres the winning? why dont i feel like im winning.