Hi! I read this from your masterpost about BDSM safety: "Other couples choose to just use one safeword, something that both partners HAVE, but each partner’s word must be different," but I've noticed in most fics I've read that there's just one safeword overall. Can I ask why each partner's word must be different?
Hi Nonnie! This is a really great question!Â
Honestly, I think part of the “both must be different” is part of my own safety training and is the advice that I strongly suggest using when writing your characters. The main reason that I would suggest that your characters have different safewords is because of subspace and how a sub that’s far under can react to to different safewords.
If your dom(me) character and sub character agree to ONLY use the “red, yellow, green” checkpoints, instead of just one general word, that knowledge alone is enough to know for both partners, even if the sub character is under, that “red” means stop, “yellow” means pause, “green” means go. If it’s something that basic, even a sub who’s deep into subspace will still be able to hear and acknowledge them, knowing that if the dom(me) character calls red, the scene is stopping. The checkpoint system is the most effective for both characters to use, simply because human beings pretty much already (thanks to stoplights) know that red/yellow/green mean different things, and it’s almost a more instinctual response to the colors.
If your characters are doing just one word, say the sub’s is “crawfish” and the dom(me) decides to use the SAME word, this could potentially cause problems. Sometimes, if a sub is very far under and hears their OWN safeword being used, it might not register for your character right away that that means stop--if someone else is using the word THEY chose, they might simply be confused as to why it’s being said, but THEY aren’t the ones saying it.
If the sub character’s is “crawfish”, though, and the dom(me) character’s is “blueberry”, then when the sub character hears the dom(me) say “blueberry”, they automatically know that that’s the dom(me)’s definite way of saying they need to stop--basically, choosing two different safewords that aren’t just the checkpoint words is there more for character safety than anything else.
There isn’t anything wrong at all, though, with characters in fics using the same safeword--I mean, some partners CAN work that way, where they just “crawfish” and that’s it. The biggest reason I strongly suggest that each character’s safeword is different, again, is safety. Mainly for the sub’s safety, in case they’re so far gone they’re unresponsive and your dom(me) character has to pull them out of it with their own safeword, but also for the dom(me)’s safety as well, so they have a definitive “stop” word.
I hope this helped! Really, me suggesting characters have different words if they’re just using generic ones is, again and for the fifteenth time, because of safety. It is totally possible, though, for your characters to be able to use the same word.
(please don’t forget to read the disclaimer)
