Hi! I read this from your masterpost about BDSM safety: "Other couples choose to just use one safeword, something that both partners HAVE, but each partnerâs word must be different," but I've noticed in most fics I've read that there's just one safeword overall. Can I ask why each partner's word must be different?
Hi Nonnie! This is a really great question!Â
Honestly, I think part of the âboth must be differentâ is part of my own safety training and is the advice that I strongly suggest using when writing your characters. The main reason that I would suggest that your characters have different safewords is because of subspace and how a sub thatâs far under can react to to different safewords.
If your dom(me) character and sub character agree to ONLY use the âred, yellow, greenâ checkpoints, instead of just one general word, that knowledge alone is enough to know for both partners, even if the sub character is under, that âredâ means stop, âyellowâ means pause, âgreenâ means go. If itâs something that basic, even a sub whoâs deep into subspace will still be able to hear and acknowledge them, knowing that if the dom(me) character calls red, the scene is stopping. The checkpoint system is the most effective for both characters to use, simply because human beings pretty much already (thanks to stoplights) know that red/yellow/green mean different things, and itâs almost a more instinctual response to the colors.
If your characters are doing just one word, say the subâs is âcrawfishâ and the dom(me) decides to use the SAME word, this could potentially cause problems. Sometimes, if a sub is very far under and hears their OWN safeword being used, it might not register for your character right away that that means stop--if someone else is using the word THEY chose, they might simply be confused as to why itâs being said, but THEY arenât the ones saying it.
If the sub characterâs is âcrawfishâ, though, and the dom(me) characterâs is âblueberryâ, then when the sub character hears the dom(me) say âblueberryâ, they automatically know that thatâs the dom(me)âs definite way of saying they need to stop--basically, choosing two different safewords that arenât just the checkpoint words is there more for character safety than anything else.
There isnât anything wrong at all, though, with characters in fics using the same safeword--I mean, some partners CAN work that way, where they just âcrawfishâ and thatâs it. The biggest reason I strongly suggest that each characterâs safeword is different, again, is safety. Mainly for the subâs safety, in case theyâre so far gone theyâre unresponsive and your dom(me) character has to pull them out of it with their own safeword, but also for the dom(me)âs safety as well, so they have a definitive âstopâ word.
I hope this helped! Really, me suggesting characters have different words if theyâre just using generic ones is, again and for the fifteenth time, because of safety. It is totally possible, though, for your characters to be able to use the same word.
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