Scott Smith

You just look…enchanting though. I’m surprised that no one named you Havensdale High’s official unofficial Prince Charming. Did baby birds dress you? But seriously though, congrats. You look great even if you are, obviously, disgusted.

You have every right to be. If I was that close to winning prom king and had it snatched away from me, I would be disgusted too.

Well, I think you look very dashing in your sash. [ laughs ] At least you don’t have a crown to add on to this violation.

The sash suits you. As do the flowers. Congratulations on making prom court…Jason? It’s Jason, right?

Wh- Scott? You know I don’t understand you when you come out with all that British stuff. Anyways, I didn’t see it was you, man. You look very prom king. You feelin’ okay?

Thank you, you look lovely too, Scott. Where is the she-devil?

I was actually saving that seat for… Whatever.

Am I deeply regretting not having this dress laminated so I could dive into the snacks the way I should be able to? Yup.

Damn, you’re right. Ohmygod, wait… Did they ever tell you that at some meeting my dad almost talked your dad into agreeing to a joint family vacay in the Hamptons? There was a beach house and everything. I mean, I think he uses it for one of the mistresses now but we literally almost were trapped in a sandy hell-house. And that would have just been from my mom and dad being in the same room together for an elongated like, time. Mine’s aren’t bothered enough. Or don’t think I could do it but honestly, who’d want to? Sir yes, sir. Ha! Hell yeah. My niche.

My bad. I would die. It’d basically be amazing but entirely tragic for whoever then got prom queen. Ah, smart. So are you going with who you wanted to go with then? Or, at least, close enough.

I would have been better off not knowing that. Sounds like real life purgatory. My folks are all talk and no action, thankfully. You don’t want to sell your soul? I’m shocked. 

Scott. My integrity is holding our tutoring center together thank you very much and if anything doesn’t actually matter, it’s making a three pointer… touch… throw. Whatever. Point is, the answers are not for sale and no amount of money is ever going to be as noteworthy as an awesome personal essay. I wouldn’t ever take your advice; that’s what makes me so smart AKA one of the many reasons to love me. That and the poncho forsure. [literally beams, like she does probably alot, before scooching closer] You’re the best! Hey c'mon, you know that Lila McReid never passes up an opportunity to try to commit a murder over the mashed potatoes. You would be in her good books for that. Aw man, I really thought this one had some extra power in it but okay, deal. Yay.

And then he had the real life audacity to say “you could just give me the answers”. Can you believe that? As if I would just throw away every shred of my tutoristic integrity just because there’s a big game coming up. Like, wrong McReid, buddy. Anyways, so what I’m really saying is that Grandma is having a big family dinner this Saturday and you just know she’s gonna “accidentally” stab my dad through the hand with the wooden spoon again. Obviously you’re not obligated, as my boyfriend, whom I love to come with me buuuuuut…I’ve been working on this pout all week so. Please? // @scott-smith-ltd

Maybe it’s ‘cause you’re walking around now like some kinda adult. Either that or it’s the new hair, makes you look like you know stuff the rest of us don’t. [ suppresses a terribly fond sigh ] Out of everyone’s league. Yet being the key word, huh? [ laughs ] Yeah, you got that one right. Well… A bunch of stuff, I guess. I mean, we kinda had a thing. Nah, we definitely had a thing but I fucked it up completely when I left. Without saying goodbye. After having kissed her. Technically, after she kissed me then I kissed her but… Point is, she was actually willing to put up with my crap, y'know? But I just left. —So, when I came back, she wasn’t super happy with me, all in all.

When hell freezes over, that’s when they’ll call you a ’true community spirit’. You’re what? Vivian? Look, Scott, you know you can do whatever you want man but I’m telling you… There is something way off about that girl. Make sure she doesn’t kill you, okay? Rips out your throat. Or tears off your head after sex like one of those weirdo bugs. Yeeeah, sadly I think she’ll still go with you. Ha, you’d guess right. You know that new girl with the curly blonde hair and a scowl that could probably take yours in a fight? Maggie Lewis? Pretty sure we’re going together.

I do know stuff the rest of you don’t, and I hate it. Cursed by knowledge. The poor girl already stooped so low as to kiss you and then you leave? Rock bottom for her, I guess. You can’t just drop everything and leave the moment shit hits the fan, or, god forbid, something good happens. Or a combination of the two. You shoulda left a note, at least. For her. 

Man, I feel like I haven’t slept in years and I can feel my hair suffering for it. I can literally hear Jake’s heart breaking. Please don’t tell him you saw me like this. Or my mom, don’t tell her either.

You look like the human equivalent of a spork. Sort it out, Daniel.

It is what’s keeping the roof over our heads. I never did get an answer out of my dad on why it demanded such hideous suits though but oh well. [ laughs ] Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry. You know that it is totally unlike me to wrongly interpret someone’s brand so. Let me off with a warning? I won’t spread the false library rumour, promise. … Maybe not. I mean, there is a whole world out there. 100% on-brand for you. Well deserved too.

Sounds like the perfect plan. Mm, I don’t know… There are several conflicting reports on the walls of the girl’s lockeroom about Greg’s “big boy” status but you’re forgetting something. He was nominated for prom king. He’ll forsure be there but if you went together, you’d be in the danger zone considering how often he gets punched in the face.

Hideous suits is the third chapter of Business 101. Both my parents rock the “I sold my soul to corporate” look. Done well for themselves though, unfortunately. Puts pressure on my unwillingness to achieve basically anything bar getting away from Havensdale. Yeah, a firm warning. I don’t need that sort of reputation. They’d keep you on for the drama.

Almost regular sized now, huh? I’ll take it. There’s nothing wrong with a good gift voucher. It’s thoughtful but not overly personal… Basically made for you and your brand.

That’s what they’ll write about you in the yearbook I think. [ laughs just a wee bit ] Really? Well, shady organization, shady tactics. Makes sense. At least your…contact from there looks like she’s willing to shoot on sight with little to no encouragement. —Which definitely isn’t a sentence I thought I’d be saying but the situation calls for it. Oh, stop. I mean sure, jaws might literally hit the floor at the sight of you there and sure, some people might start drawing circles of salt around themselves for protection but what can ya do? Uh huh. Of course you haven’t thought about attire. Look, you know I don’t approve but if you are going to lull a three hundred year old psychopath into a false sense of security, you’ll have to look the part.

Too big for me to carry, honestly. Mmh, I’ll call my mum who will call her guy who will send some through. Expect an e-mail soon.