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Peter Solarz
Xuebing Du
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ellievsbear
Cosimo Galluzzi
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Product Placement
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sheepfilms
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❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
YOU ARE THE REASON
d e v o n
Andulka
Sade Olutola
Misplaced Lens Cap
Not today Justin
seen from Mexico
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@scorpio-3lf
People want to call us essential workers, and thank us for working during this shit, but hate the idea of us being paid like we’re actually essential 😂
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
“How a person reacts to your sadness says a lot about how long they’re going to be in your life.”
— S. Z.
My bf (now ex) of 3 years always told me to get over my sadness and anxiety. Never talked it out with me, and always pushed me away when I just needed him. He’s the reason my mental health deteriorated so bad that I shut down completely. He then blamed all the issues we had on me, and cheated on me/left me for our roommate on the vice of “I was always mean, and a bitch”. He lied to my face for months about his feelings for her, and to be honest, I think he was talking to her the moment she left her previous relationship.
If I had the proper support from him, and the roommate who called herself my friend, I wouldn’t have become the way I was. I ended up attempting suicide the same day he broke up with me. And when that didn’t work I turned to alcohol, and starvation...almost had to go to AA I was almost always drunk/drinking in some way. I lost everything I worked for within those 6 months of emotional negligence. I lost 3 years of plans, and love, and future endouvers. I lost my dog, my cat, my house, my job, the person who I thought was my soulmate.
I went back to my parents with nothing but my PC, my guinea pigs, work clothes, and one pair of regular clothes. I had to get a new job, and try to finish my semester for college. All while my name is being slandered through my old job. All while having to figure out my sleeping situation. All while having to figure out how to get the money to afford new clothes, shoes, and furniture when I had only $200 to my name.
TL;DR- Because of this shit, I nearly lost my life. I lost everything I spent my whole life working for. I had to reevaluate my entire future, go to therapy that I couldn’t afford, and figure out a new game plan for my entire life.
Losing
I don’t know if it’s even called strength anymore
It’s almost like my soul has become numb to pain
My mind is a brick and it just won’t sway
The walls have grown higher;
Thicker
It’s never ending bicker
It’s never ending heartache
There’s always something better than I
All they do is watch me cry
No remorse in their eyes
Just bloodstained teeth, and their lies
I’m cooped up with my demise
The demons I’ve kept inside
Claws ripping at my flesh
I will always be second best
I’ve loved and lost
I always thought I’d be loveless
Always thought I’d be heartless
I’ve come to learn my own thoughts
I’ve come to love my own thoughts
I’ve come to love me
Maybe the love I’ve needed the most
Was the love I haven’t given myself
Looking for it in others
That was the worst part
I forced a love to exist
But I ended up living to just resist
I needed my own love
I needed my own space
I needed my own heart
I love how my body moves
I love how my brain thinks
I love the way I go about life
I love how I push myself to the brink
I love that I can breathe again
I love feeling free
I love confiding in myself
And I love how I can sing
I’m my own lover
My own survivor
I’ve overcome so much on my own
I’ve overcome being so alone
My dying heart has bloomed
It has rebirthed into a loving red
A yellow field of sunflowers
A friendly smile on its own
I worked hard to leave my old self behind
The hollow shell of a woman that didn’t want to live
The hollow one-set mind
A lost cause homocide
I killed her off
I love myself again
I love who I’ve become
I’m stronger
I’m better
The smoke of your cigarette crosses the wind. Your eyes an evergreen glistening against the stars. They’re all I see even on the darkest nights. The ashes slowly fall and the breathes you take blow me away. The way you look at me, a hint of want and worry. The fear I see, but the want of everything. You kiss me with a passion. The taste of you lingering even hours after. I hope you know I’ll never let go.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Questions
Is it wrong
Is it wrong to feel okay so soon
Will they call me a fake
A person who can’t handle the heat
Will they let me relive every moment
Relive all the heartache
Am i wrong for not wanting the drama
Am i wrong for wanting my peace
Was i wrong for leaving the old me
Can I turn around all my wrongs
Will I be demeaned for my tongue
All the words I can’t make clear
All my thoughts they all hear
I’ve tried to run away all my life
But am I wrong for finally turning around
Wrong for finally making a sound
Am I going to be hated for standing my ground
I’ve never put my foot down
But I can’t stop now
All the fear wrapped around my head
Will I come out alive or dead
Metaphorically of course
But all these questions
I don’t want to lose my voice
But I don’t want to stay quiet
Maybe I’ll get my answers
Just not today
All this time Ive been speaking my love language. The flow of the beat. The smoothness of the lyrics. The way the rhythm hits the soul. I’ve been singing our love to the world. All through the words of another person. The electricity on the tip of my tongue, and the way it shoots off my lips. How the words feel against the breeze as your face comes closer to mine. The way every sensation encases my heart as your hands run across my skin. The peace of the world showering over us as our steps follow one another. The way you flow with me, and the way our bodies move without stutter. Our love is another song, another beat, another breath. Our love is a love language we cannot just speak.
My mom found an unused journal when she was cleaning. A friend of hers gave it to her a few years back. Might use it for some simple sketch work, or some writing. It’s super cute, and makes me want to sit by a stream with music. I adore the simple nature aesthetic💕🌻
“Two souls don’t find each other by simple accident.”
— Jorge Luis Borges
The sun rises in your eyes. The flowers bloom where you move. The ocean breeze strides with your every breath. The birds sing when you talk, and the world gets brighter when you smile. The depths of me grow fuller as your hands caress my being. Your touch is gentle yet yearning. The words you speak are liquid gold. Your hair sculpts into a wonderous mane. The worries you feel are for a better life. The happiness you emit can move even the loneliest of shadows. The way you think shrouds all fears. Your calloused hands show your triumph. Your wounded soul shows your strengths. Your past gives way to all of your current victories. The future holds a light brighter than what you think. Your voice holds the power of all that stands before you. The blood in your veins shows the might within you. The beating of your heart moves the world around you.
I see the light shining inside you. I see the fears you hide behind you. I see the blooming growing inside you. I see the world within you. I love you.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Today I celebrate the going of my demon. The one who killed who I was for 3 years. The shadowed being that forced my hand to believe I was who I wasn’t. The entity that calloused my mind. The sharp, shatterous words of dread that he used to envelop my mind into his twisted fantasy. How he’d speak from a snaked forked tongue to everyone around, making me into this morbid beast. Seeing himself on such a pedestal, looking so low on me as he tore me up from the inside out deeming his wrongs as good deeds. This demon called himself chivalrous as he laid down with another woman in our place of confinement. Loving her as he once loved me. My heart fought for a forgiveness that I didn’t need.
Today I celebrate the going of my demon.
Today I celebrate the coming of my freedom.
Ever felt so alone in a crowded room? Where everyone was talking but no one was listening? Where it’s so obvious that you don’t belong? But it’s so obnoxiously prevalent that the only reason you’re there is to please another who didn’t want to be alone. Someone who didn’t want to be where you are, so they put you in that spot to be the replacement.
