Okay but imagine twenty one year old Sirius Black. Imagine him on October 30th, planning to celebrate his twenty second birthday with his best friendâs and his godson at Godricâs hollow. Imagine him asking the order to give Remus and Peter and him leave so that they can be with James and Lily and his godson.
Imagine him the next day, dropping at the Pottersâ place to give Harry his treats for Halloween only to find the house blown up. Imagine his fright which didnât let him go inside to find the bodies of his brother and sister-in-law and godson. Imagine him sinking to the ground breaking apart.
Imagine him staring wide eyed at Hagrid who went into the rubble to find Harry. Imagine his tiny ray of joy when he saw his godson alive and a little bit of James and Lily alive in him. Imagine him finally stepping up from the ground to offer his love and care for his son. Imagine the sheer hurt of the man who had lost everything being denied the right to raise his godson. Imagine him hastily wiping his tears when Hagrid asks for his bike, eager to be of some help.
Imagine him breaking down again when Hagrid took Harry away. Imagine him putting two and two together and imagine him resolving to avenge the murders of the people lying lifeless inside the dilapidated house.
Imagine him confronting Peter in a state of mania after he learns that the rat is blaming him for betraying his family. Imagine him rattled for a second as Peter blows up that street and imagine him laughing because his tears have dried up. Imagine him not even trying to defend himself as he is taken to Azkaban.
Imagine him being cold and alone and devastated with no one even to hear the truth much less ask for it. Imagine him losing his good and happy memories. Imagine his happiness seeping away until it was all gone with revenge taking itâs place.
Imagine his surprise when he sees the rat in a newspaper. Imagine him gathering all his strength and breaking out of the prison.
Imagine him making a detour just to get a glimpse of his godson. Imagine his heartbreak when he sees his godson running away from home, clearly not ecstatic about his living arrangements. Imagine him thinking that this might be a start for both of them. Imagine him making eye contact with his godson, first time in forever, only to see him back away and getting nearly killed by The Knight Bus.
Imagine him meeting Crookshanks, who recognises him instantly and becomes his friend.
Imagine him seeing Harry play Quidditch. Imagine his hurt that James wasnât there to see it. Imagine his godson who looked so much like James trying to kill him. Imagine his only true friend alive thinking that he was at fault. Imagine things finally resolving themselves and imagine him asking Harry to take him in. Imagine him thinking that he would doing what James did for him. Imagine Harryâs desperate assent and imagine Siriusâs ecstasy that everything would be finally fine.
Imagine not being able to get his happy ending despite being so close to it. Imagine running away, still as a criminal, as a murderer in everyoneâs eyes. Imagine him eating rats just to be closer to his godson. Imagine being confined in yet another prison from where he canât escape. Imagine living in a place where each step makes you remember that you werenât loved or even valued. Imagine him alone, stepping carelessly up the stairs and knocking the umbrella stand over only to hear his mother cursing him. Imagine being reminded every moment that his happy ending was still very far away. Imagine him remembering what what their school years were like and imagine him understanding that Harry needs to know what is really happening. Imagine being reproached for treating Harry as someone worthy of joining the Order. Imagine him seeing every bit of James and Lily in Harry, knowing that Harry would join the fight either way but deciding to equip him with as much of knowledge as possible.
Imagine Harry peeking through the fireplace to ask something about James. Imagine him reminiscing. Imagine him staying in Buckbeakâs room, talking with Hippogriff because he didnât have anyone else.
Imagine him coming down to the kitchen to see Kreacher appearing happy and humming a song. Imagine his suspicion and imagine him asking the house elf various direct and precise questions. Imagine being revealed that his hope, his everything had walked right into Voldemortâs trap. Imagine him jumping right into action.
Imagine him fighting, excited to finally be of some use. Imagine him feeling so alive with his wand in his hand that he barely noticed what room he was in. Imagine him fighting with the cousin with whom many childhood memories are connected. Imagine him having fun, actual fun, after almost fifteen years. Imagine him suddenly being hit by red light of a stunning charm. Imagine that he would have lived if he would not have fallen through the veil. Imagine him falling through the veil.
Imagine a life which held infinite potential suddenly reducing to nothing. Imagine shattering of all the hopes and dreams one collects throughout their life.
Now that youâve imagined, know that Sirius Black deserved much more than he got.