fal ♡

"Yeah, he's not even a very good one. But he's out there alone, and probably scared."

I absolutely love the carefully thought-out costume design for adult Natalie. She’s in her 40s, but she still dresses like the edgy teenager she was in the 90s: motorcycle jackets, band tees, cheetah print, fishnets, thick eyeliner, an affinity for red, black, gray, and brown. She’s stuck in the past, emotionally stunted and clinging to a version of herself that existed before the crash.

But her style now is more haphazard. As a teen, her outfits were rebellious but curated. There was intention behind the way she layered specific pieces, color coordination, a general sense of cohesion. Adult Nat’s wardrobe, on the other hand, is mismatched and chaotic. Pieces clash instead of complementing; colors don’t quite align, elements that belong in entirely different outfits are placed together. There’s a sense of carelessness, like she’s throwing on armor instead of outfits. It’s not just fashion, it’s dysfunction made visible. A visual manifestation of Natalie’s unraveling. The echoes of her teenage style are still there, but they’ve been distorted by years of substance use, grief, and disillusionment. What once felt like defiant self-expression now feels like a fragmented identity.

And perhaps most telling is the presence of high-end designer pieces. She’s seen wearing All Saints and Saint Laurent tees, Dolce & Gabbana red animal print pants, an Alexander McQueen shawl, etc. Alongside her Porsche, it’s a glimpse into the version of Natalie who came back from the wilderness and tried to fill the void with things. Expensive things. The things her family could never afford when she was growing up. She’s in pain, she needs to find a way to escape it, but she doesn’t know how to find long-term solutions. So she looks towards what will make her feel better right now: drugs, expensive cars, designer clothes and handbags that don’t quite feel authentic to her. It’s like she’s trying to buy the identity she always wished she had. Grief and trauma buried under retail therapy, nihilism wrapped in luxury leather.