for those who come after

i have decided that you have feelings for me #empath

Two dudes in my group chat have been playing league & slowly but surely have shifted from saying "wanna play league of legends" to "wanna play some geego legends". At this point their average post is just @ing the other and going "geegogagand?" and I feel insane

‘bread is bad for you’ ‘rice is bad for you’ sorry im not subscribing to the idea that staple grains that have been integral to cultures for centuries are evil. i love you carbs

sir please calm down i didnt "edit" crash bandicoot into your wedding pictures he was an invited guest

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

Hi. Angel on your shoulder here. It's totally ok to kill that guy

for sale: Baby Shoes Stylish Infant Boy Girl Unisex First Walker Shoes Toddler Walking Crib Shoes Lightweight Non-Slip Sneakers For 6 9 12 18 24 Months Baby Shoes New With Tags New In Box Excellent Condition Never Worn

<3 is so powerful

wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude

yup i caramelized some onions last night. basically you fucking wish you were me right now *a massive demon centipede bursts through the wall* oh fuck! *i produce my holy lightning tommy gun and riddle that sucker with a hail of thunderous bullets* fuck!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!

what are three thousand things you associate with me

Just imagine that it continuously gets better from here