🌼lonely life🌼

🌼 I'm alright

Even in this incessant grief

I'm built to fight

I won't disgress from my belief....

🌼 I'm alright

Shan't you worry about me

I'll keep my good insight

Unquestionably, eternally....

🌼 Misery is my company

And I won't flee, I accept it

So don't worry about me

I'm already used to it....

🌼 This torture has reached my bone

Rapidly, intensely

But I will keep it alone

So don't worry about me....

🌼 I'm born to suffer and fade away

Someday I'll see a brighter day, maybe

But I'll be fine either way

Still learning how to paint water 😕

I finished coloring another mermaid art!

🌼 I build my own world of fantasy

To escape from one of the reality

I need to burry all my misery

To a dreamland I shall flee...

🌼 I'm in a field of colorful flowers

Touch each blossom with my fingers

Wild animals are my lovers

I meet all the fantasy creatures...

🌼 Up, up, and up I'm flying

As the soft breeze is whistling

The sinking sun is smiling

To greet a marvelous evening...

🌼 I'm under the sky of million stars

No more troubles and endless bars

No more pain, tears, and scars

Only me with the sparkling stars...

🌼 On my mind, a fantasy shall remain

To help me fight againts my pain

No, I'm not being silly or insane

🌟 Wide awake at a midnight

Sleepless when sorrow is here

Thousand stars were in sight

Talked to them, hoped they could hear...

🌟 I told them my light has dimmed

Told them my body is exhausted

My whole soul has screamed

Continuously, I've been disappointed...

🌟 I told the stars how I'm broken

Not a single person stood by me

My own dreams I've forgotten

I pulled them out of my memory...

🌟 I'm just half alive, I told the stars

My brain is active but my heart is dead

Everyone just gave me more scars

Within my flesh they have spread...

🌟 I talked to the stars of the sky

Talked about my anxiety and sadness

I said I secretly hope to die

Because my life is meaningless...

🌟 I talked to the stars, yes I did

I simply couldn't talk to other people

This insane act of mine was never intended

❄️ The rain begin to fall down

And it feels like the sky is crying

Drops of water soak the town

As I am drown in the sad feeling..

❄️ When the water falls from the sky

I walk to an open terrain

Raindrops mix with my cry

As I stand in the rain...

❄️ Raindrops wet my whole body

Like teardrops do my cheek

I'm used to live in fear and anxiety

I'm the abandoned, I'm a freak...

❄️ My tears are in disguise

When I remain in the rain

So nobody would realize

That I am crying in pain...

❄️ In the rain I'm staying

Because I'm feeling blue

But I'm not the only crying

I've finished coloring this two weeks ago but somehow forgot to upload it lol.

This is not my first mermaid drawing, but the first one I colored since it's the only drawing with two figures! I usually draw one figure only, so yeah... it's my first time drawing two figures. 😙

The silver haired mermaid's hand and sitting position is inspired by one of Ariel AI fanart. I like that position so I decided to draw my own mermaid in such position.

Here 👇🏻 the first try, somewhat lame.... yeah, I know 😐

🌾 The wound of the past

Stays exist till today

In my core, it does last

It never goes away...

🌾 It used to be on the surface

Now it pierces through my flesh roughly

It doesn't leave visible trace

But the pain it causes, is set in eternity...

🌾 Every time I take a breath

I feel it suppressing me

As if I sense the death

Within every inch of my body...

🌾 I want to ignore and forget it

But it refuses to leave me be

Nobody can see or sense it

Nobody knows about it but me...

🌾 The wound of the past

I've kept locked away

All along it does last

🥀 They said I shall give it a shot

Even in the darkness I did

Sought for pride in every spot

Believe me, I certainly did...

🥀 But when there was a hope

Dilemmas came to hamper

Wiped away the only scope

Caused me to surrender...

🥀 Countless tries I've completed

But the luck was never nearby

Then all attempts I ended

Closed the door, let out a cry...

🥀 Take a break for a while

Evaluate the dead loss

One day, I again will try

Swift streams I shall cross...

🥀 But now, I'm too exhausted

I hardly stand up

The loss got me frustated

🍁 How come I stupidly miss?

That you're always so selfish

You secure your own bliss

And blockade all I ever wish...

🍁 I can't dispute with you anyway

It is surely forbidden

I can't say what I want to say

You'll refuse to listen...

🍁 From time to time I keep silent

And take a hundred steps back

Let you safe your own entertainment

As if I have to pay you back...

🍁 Been through this thousand times

I can't help but feel mistreated

You overlook your own crimes

I finished coloring this faster than the first one and the second one. I used more brushes too.

🌸 Some people do, even without trying

Get everything their hearts desire

But I, the one who keeps failing

Till no more things I shall aspire...

🌸 Sometimes I wonder

Were my tries not good enough?

Or were they luckier?

Or were the fights that tough?...

🌸 Took every available option

Put down my pride

But rejection and abjection

Came to stop my stride...

🌸 What's the point of dreaming

If dreams remain dreams

I'm so damn sick of failing

That I say no more dreams!

🌸 Call me weak or stupid

For I choose to give up

I'm just tired and timid

So I can no longer keep up...

🌸 It hurts me to have dreams

I fail to make them come true again and again

So I say no more dreams