A place for my things

Fresh air that already smells a bit like spring

Sunshine

Drinking tea from your favorite mug

I have a new finished object to present: a pair of fingerless mitts I made as a birthday present for a very dear friend of mine. The pattern I used is the "Golden Eyelet Cable Mitts" (even though mine aren't golden), which you can find in the book "Sock Yarn One Skein Wonders".

I had great fun knitting this project. The pattern is clearly written and easy to memorize. And the result is just beautiful! Seriously, I was very sad that I couldn't just keep these mitts. I will definitely do another pair just for myself as soon as I find the time. So far this was one of my most favorite projects of all time.

Something I especially liked about this pattern is the construction of the thumb gusset. It flows very naturally out of the cables and looks just great. I hope I can show you what I mean in this picture:

And here are some more pictures of how the mitts look when worn:

I thought I would share some of my latest manicures. I've been kind of lazy with that, partially because I thought they weren't any good and nobody would be interested in this. But then again, it's at least something kind of positive that I did for myself, so maybe I should put it up here...

At first, some sparkle (I actually liked that one):

A half moon mani that looked waayyy better in my head:

Some dots and a heart (there's a reason I'm only showing my left hand :P):

And some blue sparkle stuff, that didn't really work out the way I wanted, but I'm too lazy to redo it:

I want to wake up. I want to get out of this sick, grey mist my depression put me in. I want to run away. I want to be someone else. I want to go through a day without suicide on my mind. I want to be different. I want it to stop.

I feel empty. And I feel too full. I feel lost and I feel scared. I feel like my brain has stopped working for the past 2 years. I feel nothing. I feel everything at once. I feel like I don't know what I feel. I feel like I should kill myself.

I can't see a future. I can't stop thinking. I can't tell what's true und what's not. I can't remember when was the last time I was happy. I can't feel who I used to be.

I don't know why. Or how. Or what. I don't know.

Crying until you are empty

Hiding in a big pile of pillows and blankets

For last year's Christmas I was gifted the pattern book Sock Yarn One-Skein Wonders by Judith Durant. I really like it and I had a hard time deciding which project to do first.

My choice finally fell on the Woven Fingerless Gloves, which were designed by Laura Eckel. I thoroughly enjoyed knitting this pattern. It was interesting enough to be really fun, but at the same time it wasn't so complicated that I had to concentrate all the time. A lot of my projects that involve tons of tiny cables and stuff are currently hibernating because my concentrations is so bad right now. But the gloves were awesome to do and I am so pleased with the result! I'm pretty sure this is a pattern I will do again in the future. Here are some photos:

Trying to remember the following as if my life's depending on it:

All the promises I made Just to let you down You believed in me, but I broke it

I have nothing left And all I feel is this cruel wanting We've been falling for all this time And now I'm lost in paradise"