Scientist: *sees a spider with long legs* Scientist: I think I’ll call it daddy…… Daddy long legs

we must kinkshame scientists

i want u wrapped in my arms…like a burrito…be my baerrito

Man how do people work in retail for like 3 years. I admire them for that because 6 months of this has been hard enough mentally.

You just gotta get to that special mental place where u don’t give a shit. Like youll be saying to the customer “yeah im really sorry about that. I know. I understand. Im really sorry. Youre right it is ridiculous. Im sorry” but your eyes are vacant and youre thinking about street fighter combos and what songs might sound good slowed down

This is the absolute best post ever. The citizens of Pawnee are my heroes.

*me seeing a healthy relationship between a person and their father* what the fuck? what the fuck is this? what the fuck?

Smooth child

i betcha steve buscemi is a generous over-tipper because he feels guilty about mr. pink’s cheapass tipping philosophy in reservoir dogs.

he actually does over-tip, he said it in an interview somewhere 

my unproblematic fave. my gentle ray of light. my gem amongst stones.

Steve Buscemi isn’t the hero we deserve, but god damn it he’s the one we need

I really really needed this