ScreeWee

Salamander druid called the saladmancer.

[ your Gender became Ambiguous ]

Finally, a task I can actually do

It feels like i have two modes, being “wow look at all this cool stuff in working really hard to be able to do in the future” and “oh god i’m wasting my life and i’ve never made anything of worth” because currently it feels like you could take everything i’ve made and just burn it and in the long run humanity wouldn’t have lost anything. I know that it’s not true, and in my heart of hearts i know that i am actually capable of doing things, but at the same time i’ve got all these dreams that i’ve been sitting on for at least 7 years now, and it really feels like if i was going to do it i’d have done it by now. I’ve wanted to do a lot of things, i wanted to be a youtuber or a streamer, i wanted to write music, write stories, and i’ve wanted to learn how to draw, and some of it I have, I mean i’m studying sound production for a reason, right? but it all still feels like i haven’t really actually started on anything, i’ve never just actually created for the sake of creating, it’s only ever been practice, and i feel so incapable of putting myself out there because what if, inevitably, someone doesn’t like it, doesn’t like me, or, what if nobody even cares? I say that with a little bit of sarcasm, because i know i’d be able to deal with any of that if it arose, but it still begs the question i’ve been asking my whole life; “Why haven’t I?”

It would almost be funny if it wasn’t detrimental to so many people. A little education about propaganda would go a long way right about now