Clown College Graduate

i fucking love when halloween music is just surf rock with a ghoul laughing in the background

not every mutual fits neatly into an archetypal medievalism but there are some mutuals that im like yeah addressing you as “my liege” would come strangely naturally

got a giant and i mean GIANT fresh-squeezed strawberry lemonade at the farmer's market today. i'm talking like a full quart with a straw in it. very delicious. five dollars. nice. as i was leaving, laden with vegetables, a young man waved at me and asked where i had acquired my immense beverage. and after i pointed him toward the stall and informed him of the various prices and flavors, he looked toward the sky, basketball shorts flapping in the breeze, and bellowed to the heavens, "oh i am gonna SLUUUUUUUURP that." happy slurp that saturday everyone.

IT’S GOING TO BE OKAY. THAT IS A THREAT AND A PROMISE.

Every episode of Trigun is Vash saying shit like 'all human life is equal... it's wrong to harm anyone.... because they all have potential to grow and change' and then some ten foot tall guy with the world's tiniest pair of glasses is like 'I'm Bojangles the Gun Fucker'

Gay asf to be a dentist. Why you wanna drill another man??? Why you wanna make him scream? Why you wanna put your hands in his mouth? Anyway I’m here to shoot you because you’re mistreating your girlfriend who Im in love with and I need fresh human blood to feed my gaint talking plant from outer space

at planned parenthood and they're playing regular show

"dude if you don't get this abortion benson is gonna fire us"

For anybody not caught up: Tennessee just passed a new map that pretty much makes it so black neighborhoods have no power in local votes. Two things about this. While protestors were chanting "No Jim Crow", white Tennessee lawmakers were caught laughing on video. On top of this, Representative Justin Pearson and his brother KeShaun Pearson were arrested for trying to give their takes on the matter (which is not only their legal right but literally his job). If you give a shit about black people, help fight this. We can't allow a return to Jim Crow.