crab

Kelp gull (Larus dominicanus)

As much as I want to support ethical farming practices I will be buying the cheapest bag of frozen chicken thighs as much as the next frugal/poor person which is why animal welfare needs to be legislated, not left up to the invisible hand of the free market or some bullshit. Invisible hand of the free market finds itself around a lot of throats.

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought

socks are the primary producers of the laundry biome. they typically mate for life and come in a wide variety of patterns, though—unlike shoes, which many theorize to be a symbiotic species—they lack sexual dimorphism. juvenile socks resemble their parents, but have yet to develop the long necks that distinguish socks from other species of the extremity family, such as mittens

the lint trap is a fascinating example of a decomposer. it relies on the environment to bring food in the form of detritus, which it then breaks down into lint. lint traps have relatively long lives in comparison with other species (especially given the recent downward trends in lifespan, which are likely caused by a combination of genetic bottlenecks and poor nutrition). the lint trap has an unusual relationship with fire—some theorize that it uses fire as a tool to increase resource availability, while others believe that its frequent proximity to fire is due to environmental factors

the apex predator of the laundry biome is, of course, the dreaded duvet cover. duvet covers lead solitary lives, and are rarely seen socializing with one another. its preferred prey is socks, although it is an opportunistic eater and will prey upon much larger targets, such as t-shirts, leggings, and even sheets. aside from its large territory and antisocial nature, its behaviors are poorly known and highly controversial. one major theory is that the duvet cover is an ambush predator, lying in wait for its prey. another is that the duvet cover seeks out prey, using its superior size and large mouth to overwhelm its victims in a matter of seconds. a third, less popular supposition is that the duvet cover lures its victims to it by mimicking the laundry bag, a preferred shelter for many residents of the laundry biome. more research on this topic is necessary