this is actually a fairly good example of shinji's misogyny too and how he reduces them to objects for his needs.
shinji constantly tries to reduce the women in his life into neat categories: a mother figure to coddle him, a sexual object to gratify him, or some kind of emotional crutch that exists only for his benefit.
he has difficulties handling the reality of women as fully fleshed-out individuals with their own agency, motivations, and complexities. instead, he wants them to serve roles that make him comfortable.
in end of eva, asuka flat-out refuses to be reduced to a function of his desires. she refuses to be an object, refuses to be forced into the role shinji tries to assign her for his own needs.
earlier in the film, misato even calls shinji out for looking to asuka for rescue when he’s in mortal danger.
there's a whole reason instrumentality is presented allegorically as a return to the womb. evangelion wants shinji to move forward, not retreat into a fantasy world where women exist only to shield him from reality.
we, as viewers, should not be rooting for asuka to meet shinji’s delusional demands. the violence he enacts on her is absolutely misogynistic, and it stems from an attitude he's had since the start (rewatch ep 8 and 9, but he also makes comments about misato in the first episode)
asuka’s role in this scene is that of a victim who asserts her personhood and is met with brutality for daring to do so.
what shinji wants from asuka is often how female characters exist to serve the male lead in some idealized manner. and here that expectation leads to frustration, discomfort, and even outright anger in the man when the women refuse to play along.
shinji is not a heroic figure. he’s hesitant, anxious, and sometimes just unlikeable. the original tv ending was more optimistic, trying to show how viewers (particularly young men) could grow beyond these harmful attitudes and become better.
then the end of evangelion shows an uglier, more hopeless scenario. we see shinji committing horrendous acts of violence, making it impossible to ignore his misogyny. shinji chooses to harm asuka and there's no excuse.
asuka suffers 4 betrayals against her body in eoe. the film begins with a sexual assault, she is then slaughtered, shortly after strangled, and then concludes with strangulation again. shinji is (directly or indirectly) central to all instances of violence against her.
asuka’s anger, her "tsundere" traits, are rooted in deep trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms. but even then, asuka is more together than shinji in many ways, and she fights her way back to a form of empowerment.
she reconnects with her mother’s presence within the eva, comes into her own strength, and literally battles until the bitter end. shinji, meanwhile, wallows, lashes out, and commits sexual violence. that’s the clearest possible indictment of his perspective here.
one of the best moments illustrating the show’s attitude toward this dynamic is also when rei defies gendo; her abuser. it’s rei finally rejecting the role of a doll, the ultimate display of refusing objectification.
gendo himself is a bit of a cautionary tale, what shinji could become if he remains trapped in fear, depression, and entrenched sexism. shinji’s attitudes -- his discomfort, resentment, and attempts to subjugate women -- could solidify into the cold, calculated misogyny of gendo.
if left unchecked, that is. and i like shinji, but not because he’s a good person. rather, because he’s interesting and deeply flawed. simplistic critiques that paint him as infp soft boy or cowardly miss the mark. his misogyny is central to his flaws too.
and evangelion is littered with terrible men. misato’s father neglecting his family, asuka’s father cheating and ridiculing his wife, and gendo exploiting everyone he can. all of them leave scars on children.
ofc gendo stands out because he’s a serial manipulator and abuser who wields sexual violence as a tool. he views asuka, ritsuko, rei, and misato as disposable objects. shinji is given every chance to do better than gendo yet we see echoes of that same mindset in shinji’s actions.
only when asuka starts valuing herself, coming into her own and shedding the desperation for shinji’s attention, does shinji violently intrude on her boundaries. when asuka calls him out for objectifying her, shinji responds with rage.
asuka’s growth is met with an attempt to reduce her back to an object, and when that fails, he literally tries to kill her. there are a lot of feelings going on in the film that aren't just misogyny, but it is still a reaction to her not serving his needs.
and asuka is consistently disempowered in the series through objectification. misato, kaji, gendo, even kensuke’s exploitation through voyeurism (the photos of her in her underwear).
by end of evangelion, shinji’s lack of empathy for the women in his life is a key point. the final scene, asuka’s gentle caress after shinji tries to kill her, should flip the initial assumptions we might have had about who’s cruel and violent.
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