the chelsea silvertongue 🏴‍☠️

Lestat (asparagus) So asparagus has this stage where it's covered with tarp and sheltered from the sun (white asparagus) (when it's most coveted but also kind of bitter) and then if you expose it to light it gains color and grows fierce branches and turns into a little diva tree. It's usually the star of any farm. Notoriously hard to pick. Believe it or not, the penis shape didnt factor into my deliberation

Louis (zuchinni) Zuchinni is so pretty, its flowers golden under the sun, its body glistening. You'd never think it will hurt you, but it will bc it's covered in this micro needles and if you spend few hours picking it your hands will look like you were in a bag underwater fighting ten feral cats. It's also very profitable cause it grows every day so it brings the $$$

Armand (Chinese cabbage) The most important thing about picking Chinese cabbage are the layers. You need to remove the outer leaves (they're usually wilting or rotting) and then just when you think you're in the clear you realize there's a big fat caterpillar inside that had eaten through the core of the plant. So it's a lot of removing caterpillars and peeling back layers, but when you end up with a clean head of cabbage it's SO satisfying

Daniel (pumpkin)

It's a pleasure picking pumpkins bc you get to throw them into this huge wooden crate like they're little basketballs and they hardly get damaged because their skin is so tough. I admit I pummeled some pumpkins in my time purely because I knew it wouldnt hurt them. Also they're audacious to look at.

Claudia (carrot)

I have a personal carrot trauma, once when I was harvesting them a chunk got under one of my nails and my whole hand got infected. Had a carrot phobia for months to come, they're literally tough as nails and they haunt my dreams. Also they're the most concealed vegetable on this list; the main part you see is the leaves and then you start digging and you go "Oh OH a looot is happening under the surface"

Madeleine (leek)

You wouldnt know how strong leak's roots are just by looking at it. Try to yank it out of the ground though and your two bare hands might not be enough. Also if you let it go to seed it grows the prettiest flowers and eclipses everything else on the field

Raglan James (Kohlrabi)

Kohlrabi - what is it? Nobody knows. Why is it here? A mystery. Why does it look like a little spaceship? Probably trying to send us a message. Of what? We won't know until it's too late.

If politicians can take or distribute them, then they're not "inalienable" and they're not "rights."

We don't have inalienable rights we have conditional privileges, divvied out according to the whims of whoever currently holds the reins.

لالیه دا خو انقلاب دی، زړهٔ به نه ماتې

Beloved, this is a revolution! Don’t let your heart break.

look at this... this the face of a man who's begging to drown in it and he'd die happily too, doing what he loved

and do i even need to mention the nose? cause if i need to, then there: the nose.

🙌🙌🙌 yeah that happened bonus:

Hey… do you wanna do something weird? 👀🏴‍☠️

We are collecting clips of as many of us as possible passing Ed’s silk! Be creative, but hang onto your cloth (we’ll need it again in October 🤫). Example video & details in the read more! Tag your post with #YouAirFineThingsWell to be included!

Instructions written out in the read more below! And watch this space… there’s more to come with Operation Auxiliary Wardrobe!