You tiny brained wipers of other people's bottoms!

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point, they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.

OH MY GOD I HAVE BEEN READING THIS FOR MONTHS NOW I GET IT

space pisses me OFF the sun is TOO large and black holes are TOO mysterious and aliens are TOO sneaky

fullmetal alchemist au where ed binds al’s soul to a fursuit 

I love this primarily because it would require that Hohenheim collected fursuits in his basement

My favorite take on this was when I read someone describe it is, “Steve’s greatest fear is his own PTSD” and inability to ever truly leave the war behind him, which is why this entire scene is mixed with so much war imagery and parallels. Then we remember what Ultron had also said to him: “Captain America: God’s righteous man… pretending you can live without a war.” Oww. Oww.

#that awkward moment when a 48 year old scifi show has more continuity #than a 2 year old series about misfit high schoolers 

*ahem- 50 year old…

I think the tags should have been #that awkward moment when Moffat tries to reference his predecessor’s run and that’s what he comes up with

Moffat is personally responsible for my transformation from a massive sobbing mess of a Who fan to a person who has not watched a full episode in literally years

look at that man. When the shark starts thrashing around he just lets go and calmly takes a step back and waits for it to be done. Then it’s back to work. What a badass.

That is really badass. Awesome.

im so happy right now that just made my day

badass dude

who the fudge changed ‘fudgers’ to ‘meaners’

WHO CHANGED IT FROM FUDGERS TO FUDGERS I WILL KISS THE POPSICLE DONT TICKLE ME JAMBOREE

do you ever just passionately miss the first series of doctor who but not just because you miss Nine but because you miss the monsters and the simple story lines that were new and so interesting and the companions that didn’t need a magic back story to be special and weren’t just a new puzzle for the doctor to solve they were just ordinary people with ordinary lives and taught (especially the young viewers) that anyone can be a hero i just really miss season one okay

u know when ur texting someone youre interested in and they fall asleep and highkey you’re like ‘sleep well babe!!’ but lowkey you’re like ‘u motherfucker I wasn’t done flirting with u wtf’

THAT LAST ONE NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH

im ok w spending $40 on food but wont buy a $40 shirt