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me 8 years old hoping something bad happens to me so that i'll finally get attention not realizing something bad in fact did happen to me but no one noticed lol
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not sure if this is going to help me. i think i just need to yell into the void.
i disclosed some details to my therapist last week about the csa i experienced. i just feel really empty and wrong now. i had therapy again today and it went really well, but i just feel upset. just really sad.
hypersexuality isn’t a cute new sexuality that makes you sexual all of the time.
it’s a miserable trauma response that makes you sick of your body and your mind.
CW for upsetting thoughts about hypersexuality.
thinking of the ways you should be taken advantage of by people you’re friends with and would never want to think of sexually.
thoughts about your teachers, parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, family friends. people you would never want to touch you like that.
being convinced you’re only worth anything if they want to have sex with you or that the only valid form of affection/love is sex.
seeking out people who you know will only pay attention to you for sex, who only want things from you for sex or sexual favors, even if you don’t actually want to do these things.
being unable to even have flashbacks in peace because here comes the wave of being horny even though you’re upset and now you want to rip your body apart more.
wanting to apologize to your partner after a fight by giving sexual favors to make sure they still love you.
curling up in a ball on your bedroom floor and sobbing because the ache in the pit of your stomach won’t go away but you’re not in the mood because all you can think about is what happened to make you this way.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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surviving csa is constantly learning different ways of how you were betrayed & violated
like having a casual conversation and someone says something that makes you go "wait... that's not okay???" and then you have flashbacks for the next 3-5 business days
what do you MEAN this normal and common occurance in my childhood was actually a severe crime?? why are my friends more upset about it than me???
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anya is LIVE right now
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