29 Reds (all three of them ; ) )
29. “I like watching him fuck you.”
Idk what you were expecting but I hope I supremely disappointed you in the best way possible. 🤡
This fic is part of a prompt challenge that is now closed to new requests, but you can read all the completed submissions here. Reminder that the challenge is to make everything SFW, so we’re getting creative here.
Blossom popped her head out of the kitchen. “It’s the new episode of Famous Last Words! It’s great, like true crime committed by idiots. We recorded it so we could watch it today.”
Princess dropped her purse at the bar. The smell of popcorn tempted her to the kitchen, and she stole a few puffs from the bowl Blossom was seasoning. “I thought we were doing movie night.”
“We are. Brick and I were just finishing up the episode before you got here since we missed it last night.”
Princess took the bowl of popcorn to the living room, while Blossom grabbed glasses for drinks. Brick lay on the sofa with the cat curled up at his hip.
“There’s my favorite boy.” Princess scooted in next to the cat, who got up and stretched. Thick, orange paws found their way to her lap and began to knead.
“You don’t feed him or clean up his shit. You don’t even live here,” Brick said. “Why does Matt like you so much?”
Princess scratched the cat’s back at the base of his tail, and he stuck his butt high in the air. “I don’t do any of those things for you either, but you love me all the same.”
Brick pinched up his face. “Must be some smell you give off, then.”
“Okay, I’m back!” Blossom Super jumped onto the sofa in between them with a bottle of wine and three glasses.
Matt meowed with all the guttural reverb of a disgruntled construction worker and jumped off the couch. He trotted off to his geometric cat bed in the corner where the rabble would not be able to get at him.
“Matthew,” Princess lamented.
“He’ll be back. Wine?” Blossom poured out three glasses.
“There are five minutes left,” Brick said. “Let’s just finish this.”
Princess let the Chianti fill the orange tomcat-shaped hole in her heart while Brick and Blossom glued their eyes to the last few minutes of their show.
A woman with a microphone standing before an apartment building cordoned off with police Do Not Cross tape looked directly into the camera. “I like watching him fuck you. Those were the famous last words of Ksander Smith, the 27-year-old architect and serial voyeur who peeped for the last time on Valentine’s Day last year before a passing truck hit a fire hydrant that struck him in the back of the head due to the water pressure.”
Princess choked on her wine. “What the fuck?”
“I know, right? What kind of name is Ksander?” Brick said.
“Well, what kind of name is Brick?” Blossom said.
Princess choked again. “She’s got you there.”
“What exactly is wrong with my name?”
“Nothing’s wrong, forget I said anything.” Blossom grabbed the remote and loaded the movie streaming app.
“How am I supposed to forget—”
Princess threw a puff of popcorn at Brick, and it bounced off his cheek. “If you don’t like your name, you can always change it to something that resonates with who you are. Something that says, ‘Look at me, world!’ You know, something worthy of your storied legacy.”
Brick looked at her with a sort of high and mighty defiance, the look of a parent who sees a child about to do something unspeakably stupid out of parricidal spite.
She barely got the word out before he grabbed a fistful of popcorn and threw it at her. Blossom shrieked, Princess burst out laughing, and Brick stomped off to the kitchen to grab the Dyson to clean up the mess.
If you enjoy my writing, check out more of my fics on AO3, link in my profile. I’m currently updating Trinity House and The Alchemy of Us. Thanks for reading!
