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⚪️ gay

⚪️ straight

⚪️ bi

aaron:

((Only some of them!!))

Cady: ”Every time I walk down the street, I need everyone, all the time, to like me so much–it’s exhausting.”

Janis: “I think Emily Dickson’s a lesbian!”

Damian:  “Hi, I’m very gay, and I’d like a few dollars.”

OR

“Hey, would you help me out, I’m very gay.”

Regina: “brush your teeth and BOOM orange juice. that’s life"

Gretchen: “I’ll keep all my emotions right here and then one day I’ll die.”

Karen: “This is an on-fire garbage can…could be a nursery.”

Aaron: “Something happened here. You hope it was a miracle. Probably not.”

a cautionary tale: basically the opening song of little shop of horrors / rocky horror picture show lampooned by veronica sawyer and that one tolerable theater dude from your high school

it roars: some pop culture references that'll make you cringe in ~5 years, ft. erika henningsen's excellent belting and 'o' vowels

where do you belong: the ultimate broadway-style parody with some seriously on-point high school archetypes and excellent use of the word "embouchure"

meet the plastics: AMAZING counterpoints between the three heath--uh, plastics. regina george can step on me, instance one. very gay gretchen literally calls regina her master. My :) name :) is :) karen :)

stupid with love: i want to dislike this relatively basic character, but this song is so goddamn adorable and she says "calculust" so i guess i'll root for her and her str8 crush

apex predator: the song veronica never got to sing about heather chandler. also, this metaphor is just a few ladder rungs below 'zootopia' in the furry-baiting department

what's wrong with me: gretchen settles for but simultaneously craves a toxic friendship/ relationship that degrades her appearance and character because she believes it's what she deserves

stupid with love reprise: ...shit

sexy: i support karen and i'm so proud of her for curing sex cancer in heels she can't walk in

someone gets hurt: regina george can step on me, instance two. this is like if evanescence and britney spears wrote a song for a bond villain. i'm gonna... i'm gonna need a minute.

revenge party: oh, god. o h my god. this song is the boppest of the bops. this has the same amount of chaotic earworm energy as 'sincerely me' from dear evan hansen, if not more. janis' weird infomercial background music when they're planning. the fucking tango music interlude. (and ugly crying.) REGINA REGINA REGINA. cady joining in on the last verse. iiiiiIIIIT'S A REVEEEEE--

fearless: kind of forgettable, BUT! regina george can step on me, instance three!

stop: the song i'd play for someone who's never listened to the show. damien and janis are hilarious, the beauty and the beast anecdote is awesome ("because BASIC"), and in the actual show, karen pauses after her verse and says, "hey, but maybe guys should also be told not to request or spread those pictures?" e a t a c r a c k e r a n d s t o p

what's wrong with me reprise: mrs. george and gretchen should both go to therapy, but in the meantime this is pretty sweet

whose house is this?: obligatory out of control rager song from teen musical. i'm honestly glad gretchen is having a good time.

more is better: cady gets hammered and says some DUMB SHIT

someone gets hurt reprise: it's ffIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII--

world burn: regina george can grind me to sand with her louboutin heel and i'd thank her (four) also taylor louderman is the queen of character voice and riffing like a madwoman

i'd rather be me: poetry. perfection. kind of sounds like paramore??

do this thing: "a box lunch will be provided, WHAT?" also, i'm diggin the bongos in this orchestration

PROFESSIONALLY FILMED BROADWAY SHOWS

When do we want them?