30-mumble agender queer. Kinkster. Procrastinatrix. Domme of over 18 years. Kink and sex-ed instructor of 10 years. Loud Demi-Grayace-disaster-bi. Avid Mass Effect, Dragon Age, bioware-is-ruining-my-life-please-send-help player.
Since I'm basically collecting writing prompts for couples and throuples for rainy/sick days, I figured it might be worth a post of what I like to write for ^^;
***
Mage Surana/Zevran
Mage Surana/Alistair
Rogue Cousland/Alistair
Hawke/Fenris
Hawke/Varric
Hawke/Isabela
Hawke/Sebastian
Carver/Anders
Bethany/Sebastian
Isabela/Sebastian
Isabela/Merrill
Inquisitor/Cullen
Inquisitor/Fairbanks
Non-Inquisitor Lavellan/Solas
Non-Inquisitor Lavellan/Dorian/Iron Bull
Cassandra/Varric
Shepard/Garrus
Shepard/Thane
Garrus/Thane
Ryder/Jaal
Ryder/Evfra
Sole/Danse
Agent/Vector
Mandalorian/Torian
Sith/Quinn
(Fair warning that Glitterverse or Voiceverse may be applied as seen fit)
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It was a Tuesday in 1981 when the San Francisco police kicked in the door.
Inside the small apartment, they expected to find a hardened criminal. They expected a drug kingpin. They expected resistance.
Instead, they found a 57-year-old waitress in an apron.
The air in the apartment smelled sweet, thick with chocolate and something earthier. On the kitchen counter, cooling on wire racks, were 54 dozen brownies.
The police officers began bagging the evidence. They confiscated nearly 18 pounds of marijuana. They handcuffed the woman, whose name was Mary Jane Rathbun.
She didn't look scared. She didn't look guilty.
She looked at the officers, smoothed her apron, and reportedly said, "I thought you guys were coming."
She was booked into the county jail. The headlines wrote themselves. A grandmother running a pot bakery. It seemed like a joke to the legal system, a quirky local news story about an older woman behaving badly.
But Mary wasn't baking for fun. And she certainly wasn't baking for profit.
To understand why Mary risked her freedom, you have to understand the silence of the early 1980s.
San Francisco was gripping the edge of a cliff. A mysterious illness was sweeping through the city, specifically targeting young men. Later, the world would know it as AIDS. But in those early days, it was just a death sentence that no one wanted to talk about.
Families were disowning their sons. Landlords were evicting tenants. Even doctors and nurses, paralyzed by the fear of the unknown, would sometimes leave food trays outside hospital doors, afraid to breathe the same air as their patients.
Men in their twenties were wasting away in sterile rooms, dying alone.
Mary knew what it felt like to lose a child.
Years earlier, in 1974, her daughter Peggy had been killed in a car accident. Peggy was only 22. The loss had hollowed Mary out, leaving a space in her heart that nothing seemed to fill.
When the judge sentenced Mary for that first arrest, he ordered her to perform 500 hours of community service. He likely thought the manual labor would teach her a lesson.
He sent her to the Shanti Project and San Francisco General Hospital.
It was a mistake that would change American history.
Mary walked into the AIDS wards when others were walking out. She didn't wear a hazmat suit. She didn't hold her breath. She saw rows of young men who looked like ghostsāskeletal, in pain, and terrified.
She saw "her kids."
She began mopping floors and changing sheets. But soon, she noticed something the doctors were missing. The harsh medications the men were taking caused violent nausea. They couldn't eat. They were starving to death as much as they were dying of the virus.
Mary knew a secret about the brownies she had been arrested for.
She knew they settled the stomach. She knew they brought back the appetite. She knew they could help a dying man sleep for a few hours without pain.
So, she made a choice.
She went back to her kitchen. She fired up the oven. She started mixing batter, not to sell, but to save.
Every morning, Mary would bake. She lived on a fixed income, surviving on Social Security checks that barely covered her rent. Yet, she spent nearly every dime on flour, sugar, and butter.
The most expensive ingredientāthe cannabisāwas donated. Local growers heard what she was doing. They began dropping off pounds of product at her door, free of charge.
She packed the brownies into a basket and took the bus to the hospital.
She walked room to room. She sat by the bedsides of men who hadn't seen their own mothers in years. She held their hands. She told them jokes. And she gave them brownies.
"Here, baby," she would say. "Eat this. It'll help."
And it did.
Nurses watched in amazement as patients who hadn't eaten in days began to ask for food. The constant retching stopped. The mood on the ward shifted from despair to a quiet sort of comfort.
Mary Jane Rathbun became "Brownie Mary."
For over a decade, this was her life. She baked roughly 600 brownies a day. She went through 50 pounds of flour a week. She became the mother to a generation of lost boys.
She washed their pajamas. She attended their funerals. She held them while they took their last breaths.
She did this while the government declared a "War on Drugs."
By the early 1990s, the political climate was hostile. Politicians were competing to see who could be "tougher" on crime. Mandatory minimum sentences were locking people away for decades.
In 1992, at the age of 70, Mary was arrested again.
This time, the stakes were lethal. She was charged with felonies. The district attorney looked at her rap sheet and saw a repeat offender. He threatened to send her to prison.
One prosecutor famously whispered to a colleague that he was going to "kick this old lady's ass."
They underestimated who they were dealing with.
They thought they were prosecuting a drug dealer. In reality, they were attacking the most beloved woman in San Francisco.
When the news broke that Brownie Mary was facing prison, the city erupted.
It wasn't just the activists who were angry. It was the doctors. It was the nurses. It was the parents who had watched Mary care for their dying sons when the government did nothing.
Mary turned her trial into a pulpit.
She arrived at court not as a defendant, but as a grandmother standing her ground. The media swarmed her. Reporters asked if she was afraid of prison. They asked if she would stop baking if they let her go.
Mary looked into the cameras, her voice gravelly and firm.
"If the narcs think I'm gonna stop baking brownies for my kids with AIDS," she said, "they can go fuck themselves in Macy's window."
The quote ran in newspapers across the country.
The court didn't stand a chance.
Testimony poured in. Doctors from San Francisco General Hospital wrote letters explaining that Maryās brownies were medically necessary. Patients testified that she was an angel of mercy.
The charges were dropped.
Mary walked out of the courthouse a free woman. But she didn't go home to rest. She realized that her personal victory wasn't enough. As long as the law was broken, her "kids" were still in danger.
She needed to change the law.
August 25 was declared "Brownie Mary Day" by the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. It was a nice gesture, but Mary wanted policy, not plaques.
She teamed up with fellow activist Dennis Peron. Together, they opened the San Francisco Cannabis Buyers Clubāthe first public dispensary in the United States. It was a safe haven where patients could get their medicine without fear of arrest.
But Mary wanted more. She wanted the state of California to acknowledge the truth.
She campaigned for Proposition 215. She traveled the state, despite her failing health. She spoke in her simple, direct way. She didn't talk about liberties or economics. She talked about compassion. She talked about pain.
She forced voters to look at the issue through the eyes of a grandmother.
In 1996, Proposition 215 passed. California became the first state to legalize medical marijuana.
It was a domino effect. Because one woman refused to let her "kids" suffer, the public perception of cannabis shifted. The Economist later noted that Mary was single-handedly responsible for changing the national conversation.
She never got rich.
She had always joked that if legalization ever happened, she would sell her recipe to Betty Crocker and buy a Victorian house for her patients to live in.
She never sold the recipe. She never bought the house.
Mary Jane Rathbun died in 1999, at the age of 77. She passed away in a nursing home, poor in money but rich in legacy.
Today, over 30 states have legalized medical marijuana. Millions of people use it to manage pain, seizures, and nausea.
Most of them have never heard of Mary.
They don't know that their legal prescription exists because a waitress in San Francisco decided that the law was wrong and her heart was right.
They don't know about the 600 brownies a day.
They don't know about the thousands of hospital visits.
Mary didn't set out to be a hero. She told the Chicago Tribune years before she died, "I didn't go into this thinking I would be a hero."
She was just a mother who had lost her daughter, trying to help boys who had lost their way.
She proved that authority doesn't always equal morality.
She proved that sometimes, the most patriotic thing a citizen can do is break a bad law.
Every August, a few people in San Francisco still celebrate Brownie Mary Day. But her true memorial isn't a date on a calendar.
It is found in every oncology ward where a patient finds relief. It is found in every dispensary door that opens without fear.
It is found in the simple, quiet courage of anyone who sees suffering and refuses to look away.
Mary taught us that you don't need a law degree to change the world. You don't need millions of dollars. You don't need political office.
Sometimes, all you need is a mixing bowl, an oven, and enough love to tell the world to get out of your way.
Sources: New York Times Obituary (1999), "Brownie Mary" Rathbun. San Francisco Chronicle Archives (1992, 1996). History.com, "The History of Medical Marijuana." Weird Everything, FB december 12, 2025
I'd be only too happy to do that. I was suspicious to start, too. It seemed a bit on the nose to have the weed brownie grandma named "Mary Jane," but also, that's a very common combination in a certain place and time, so I thought it was worth the extra effort.
What I did was find sources that made the claim (in this case, that a woman named Mary Jane was a medicinal marijuana activist in California, USA in the 1980s and 90s.) I checked the dates to get some certainty those sources aren't AI slop, then checked that the sources are generally reliable.
Then I followed useful details about the place and time, and other people involved, to explore it more fully.
The first thing I did was search for "Brownie Mary" and see if that turned anything up at all. It turned up a LOT of results. Predictably, some of them were recipes, but not all of them.
Next up, I checked sources and dates. Wikipedia can be dodgy for academic use, but their policy on LLM-generated input is very clear: they don't want slop. I started by reading that page and then went on to read others.
The Atlas Obscura article is from 2018. I found another one from SFWeekly from 2017.
Both of those are decent sources - Atlas Obscura gets a High factual reporting rate from MediaBiasFactCheck, and while MBFC doesn't have a rating for SFWeekly, the verbiage in that article is very close to what GastroObscura has. (Also to what the post itself has, right down to the choice of pull quote.)
Now, we can stop there and feel pretty confident that articles published before the wide availability of LLMs are not, in fact, LLM generated.
...or we can go deeper, and run this all the way back to source.
I spotted references to a Chicago Tribune imterview of Mary Jane Rathbun, published in 1993.
My search string of "Chicago Tribune 1993 Mary Jane Rathbun" hit it in the top 3 results. That article includes some fun new details: she wore a cannabis leaf shaped pendant to her trial!
She also objected to being portrayed as a cuddly grandma up against The Man, so I must retract my flippant tags, above.
The evidence now strongly points to Brownie Mary being a real woman who really went to court for giving AIDS patients weed brownies. But can we get closer? I've now seen several mentions of a 1980 attempt at convicting her too.
The articles have mentioned Sonoma County and a nonprofit called the Shanti Project, so let's hook onto that and see what we get.
Searching for "Mary Jane Rathbun Sonoma County 1980" gets me an article from a law firm; that mentions the prosecuting attorney by name, and points to a book: Lust for Justice: The Radical Life & Law of J. Tony Serra, by Paulette Frankl. It even has an excerpt!
We can run the book down too, just for fun (now we have a primary source.) My favorite used book site has a copy for $1. Amazon gives a view of the back cover, too:
...wow. I should see if my library has that!
The excerpt on the site has a mention of a candelight vigil held for her death in 1999. It took some hunting past things I'd already read and a bunch of shops giving written tributes, but I found a news report about that, too.
There's a lot of information out there, and it's worth digging into. Otherwise it's altogether too easy to think something real and worth knowing is just another bit of slop.
[Image Description: Testicular Self Exam from the Testicular Cancer Awareness Foundation. Each point is accompanied by an image of the corresponding action.
1. cup one testicle at a time using both hands, best performed during or after a warm bath or shower
2. examine by rolling the testicle between thumb and fingers, use slight pressure
3. familiarize yourself with the spermatic cord and epididymis, tube like structures that connect on the back side of each testicle
4. feel for lumps, change in size or irregularities, it is normal for one testis to be slightly larger than the other
[ID: Breast Self Exam graphic. Each point is accompanied by an image of the corresponding action. The points read:
"Once A Month, 2-3 Days After Periods", "Examine Breast And Armpit With Raised Arm", "Use Fingerpads With Massage Oil Or Shower Gel", "Up And Down", "Wedges", "Circles", "Examine Breast In The Mirror For Lumps Or Skin Dimpling", "...Change In Skin Color Or Texture", "...Nipple Deformation, Color Change Or Leaks Of Any Fluids".]
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proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.
once my therapist said I used very uncommon and creative phrases and adjectives and i just did not have the heart to tell that Old Lady From A Foreign Small Town that I was translating tumblr speech into our language. so I was like yeah... must be from the books I read...
like girl we have an army of scholars over at tumblr.com crafting our language it's not just little old me I swear
An idiolect is an individualās pattern of speech, but the reason we all have an identifiable āTumblr accentā is because there is a shared set of features common enough to be identifiable. Iād argue the more accurate term would be dialect.
but this is Tumblr, and calling it an āaccentā is very On Brand
Are accents not specifically about the way words are pronounced? (And occasionally how spellings are changed to reflect those pronunciations?)
My linguistics prof back in the day said idiolects can also apply to small groups like families or companies/schools, that kind of thing, so I assumed since tumblr is such a small part of the internet that idiolect would be more applicable than dialect.
So first, I'm going to be up front - I am not a linguist, so I am going off of my special interest knowledge. Any linguists out here are more than free to correct me on anything I get incorrect about idiolects and dialects, this is my amateur opinion as someone who has been on this webbed site since 2014.
Yeah, accents are how we pronounce words, and yes, it's not the best term for the phenomenon referenced by OP. And I'm not going to argue with an expert's definition of idiolect, however, I am going to point something out about your definition of "small."
Tumblr's user base is small only in comparison to social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, or TikTok. According to SQ Magazine, in 2025 there were 12 million daily active users from the U.S. alone. It we assume that say, only a tenth of those users find themselves referencing the plinko horse in casual conversation, that's 1.2 million people. For reference, the "Hoi Toider" family of dialects from the Outer Banks of North Carolina is spoken by maybe less than a couple thousand people? (I've seen the number 150 floated, but I'm pretty sure that's just from one island - geographically the accent is spread out over several islands of the Outer Banks and some limited areas of the mainland.) Personally, I think once we've gone over a thousand people, we're out of the "small" category anyway.
Plus, the examples given by your professor (school, company, family) generally include elements of direct proximity or some sort of specific geographic anchor point. They all are going to be made up of people who live in close proximity to one another and/or who return to a centralized location more often than not. There's also a centralized hierarchy of authority figures that form the nucleus of the unit, whether that's a school administration, executives and managers in a company, or parents/elders in a family.
And I was actually thinking about this already, but arguably, Tumblr's particular vernacular may just extend to pronunciation/enunciation even though it's not actually an accent! Our ludicrous speech patterns are shaped by the fact that Tumblr is heavily text-based. Text really is the preferred mode of communication, with lots of visual modifiers and enduring meme references that indicate tone and subtext.
That's where subvocalization comes in. Subvocalization is where your larynx (voice box) and other muscles involved in speech actually move as if forming words while you read. You generally cannot feel it, but subvocalization can be detected by specialized machines.
You know how people learning to read usually have to start out reading out loud before they can read silently? Reading is actually a VERY complicated cognitive skill, in no small part because rendering spoken language into symbols adds a lot of cognitive load to your brain, especially to your working memory. It's thought that subvocalization helps lighten the load because you may not realize it, but your throat is silently creating the sounds of the words you're reading. You get physical feedback that might act as a memory aid.
Now what does that have to do with the Hellsite Vernacular?
Read the following examples to yourself out loud:
I think I have covid.
2. I think I hauve covid
3. ithinkihavecovid
4. I tHiNk I hAvE cOvId
5. I think āļø I have covid.
6. I šthink šI šhave šcovid.
Yes, you could read all of these statements completely flat, ignoring the visual shenanigans and formatting, but, more than likely, you ended up preserving the gags in your verbalization because each one is communicating different information! In example 2, you probably preserved the misspelling as a diphthong because that's part of the joke. Number 3 you might read as basically one word because there's no spaces. Number 4 might have some variation in interpretation, but I usually read it in a jerky cadence with my pitch going up on capital letters and lower on lower case letters. Other people might get louder on capitals and softer on lowers or use the capitalization pattern to determine stress patterns. You might have interpreted the emojis as punctuation marks, or used them as theatrical directions.
And even if you didn't say those phrases out loud - you still used subvocalization to help map what they should sound like.
For visual gags like emojis, formatting, and spellings, you're going to tend to say them out loud the way you silently read them because you're already basically practicing them via subvocalization. When I perform the ole Random Capitalization gag out loud, I emphasize the capitalized words because that's how I read them silently. When I verbalize the clap-emoji joke, I either punctuate each word or actually clap. For memes based on short videos or performances like "the sacred texts!" or "okay, noun-boy" the tendency is probably to preserve the original cadence and tone of the source meme.
Now yeah, specific enunciation choices can differ person to person, but if spoken aloud, we're still trying to preserve the information that each differing format would communicate to another Tumblrina. Speaking Tumblrish will have you using enunciation and pronunciation outside of your typical accent. And all of that is on top of the syntax gags and verbiage that's more classically associated with Cringe Unhinged Microblogging English.
But no, I do agree that in technical terms, "accent" isn't the most accurate description of what's going on, however, I do argue that we're not just a bunch of individuals or small groups - Tumblr is a community. We have a shared culture, history, and lingua franca even when we might hold wildly different opinions on like say, trans women and their rights to not have all their posts marked mature or have their accounts deactivated on a whim. (Yes, @staff, I'm staring right at you, you've been doing okay on not fuckin up the UI lately but we all know you can do better.) And this community is in reality, pretty large, geographically spread out with no central anchor or authority figures, has multiple sub-cultures, and in practice, speaks with multiple distinct accents even when we might sometimes share enunciation and pronunciation references.
Idiolect is too narrow, accent doesn't actually encompass what's going on - in my opinion, we should call it a dialect or vernacular.
But! āļøThis is also Tumblr, where the humor is in the text gags. In the gaining net zero information on posts, the Vanilla Extract, the rent lowering shots, the color of the sky, and the Goncherovs. Our cultural pastimes are posting a photo with a blatant lies attached a la Bitch, That's The Tubby Custard Machine and That's Not Were-Ralph That's Adam Driver, creating wacky bracket challenges like deciding a Tumblr Sexyman or Tumblr's Most Breedable Man, celebrating holidays from the joyously adorable to the laughably absurd such as Neil Banging Out the Tunes and the Ides of March, and we still tend to communicate important news to one another via Jensen Ackles's emotionally constipated face.
"Hellsite Vernacular" or "Cringe Unhinged Microblogging English (CUME)" might be more accurate, but insisting on an inaccurate name that communicates incorrect information is very On Brand for us.
Long live the Tumblr Accent, may I always show up to this particular devil's sacrament.
Thereās regular text, exact writing system type depends on the writerās language.
Thereās text with emojis. The emojis are generally used to indicate mood, emotion, and sometimes punctuation. I think this still counts as āwhatever the writerās languageās writing system is.ā
Then thereās the images. You can reply to something with just an image and Tumblrinaās will see and interpret that, sometimes as words, sometimes as feelings, sometimes something else.
I would argue that the images constitute an ideographic or logographic writing system (depending on who you ask, they may or may not be the same thing). In this sort of writing system, individual symbols represent entire concepts or ideas. A modern day example is Chinese (including its dialects). An ancient, but well-known, example would be Egyptian Hieroglyphs.
If I post a red-tinted pictures with just Obamaās eyes, that is interpreted and understood in a pretty universal way on here (then perish).
If I post a picture of a rat playing a rainbow keyboard, we all know what that is (fuck yea, Neil banginā out the tunes).
Oooooo yes, excellent point about images being ideographs! I kinda lump them into the meme part of my original TED Talk (and god did I miss an opportunity there) because in spoken language/irl interactions theyāre translated into the text or expressions.
But here, they are absolutely used like hanzi or kanji right down to the fact that they can be combined!
Off the top of my head I can think of at least four posts that are nothing but nesting image memes because we love playing with jpegs like paper dolls. God, I still cackle over the political compass-man hook car hand-loss.jpg trifecta. And each one of those combinations ends up with a different shade of humor based on the component parts.
God dammit, that one post was completely correct when it said we speak in hieroglyphics.
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important reminder that most people you follow online are significantly lamer than you think they are including me. and if you feel insecure comparing yourself to someone online: DON'T. theyre probably also lame and weird. most people on the internet are
Several times throughout leverage, the team tells Nate he's taking a job too personally and that it's dangerous and someone could get hurt because he's not thinking clearly. And just about every time, Nate denies there's any issues and agrues that he has it under control and that everything will be fine. Then we have the last episode, their last job together. When the Interpol agent asks Nate what his mistake was and how his friends died, he starts by establishing that the job was very personal. His mistake was not miscalculating the guards, it was letting his personal feelings get in the way. (The very thing he said Parker doesn't do before passing on the roll of mastermind to her, but that's not the point.) The point is, that the Interpol agent had no way of knowing about all the times Nate took a job too personally and it made the job more dangerous. She didn't know it had been an issue before, so it was almost like Nate only added that detail to the story for the team. It's like Nate was admitting to them that they had been right and that he did have a bad habit of putting them in danger because he was taking a job too personally. It was like an apology.
Okay this is amazing because I guess I usually think about this story from a Doylist perspective, like obviously all the callbacks and themes in it are what the WRITERS needed to make it a satisfying series finale for the VIEWERS. But what happens if you look at it as the story Nate chose to tell to the Interpol agent? I love this idea that the Interpol agent is sort of a blank slate here and so when he's talking to her he's really talking to the crew. So what all does he say to them?
An apology, to all of them. An acknowledgment of the struggles he's had and the danger he's put them in. Described perfectly above. I don't really need to say any more.
A blessing, to the OT3. You know that great post about how cute and funny it is that he's insisting to the agent "No this is important you need to write this down -- AND THEY DIED HOLDING HANDS." I can't find it right now unfortunately, but you know the one, right? Yeah it's funny but it's completely true, he wrote them together, till their last breath, caring for each other and holding onto each other. Very important heading into that final proposal scene -- to say that they are seen, that he understands and trusts them to be there for each other (which is a wild thing to say for a control freak who usually doesn't think the show can go on without him).
A warning, to Parker. The hardest part of this episode for me is Hardison's death. Because for the ENTIRE series, his fear of heights and Parker dropping him has been treated as a joke. And it's so tonally dissonant and horrifying to suddenly make it extremely real, to have Parker let him down and make that fear real in the worst way. I literally can't watch that scene half the time. So why would Nate write it that way? Because he's acknowledged his own flaw, now it's time to acknowledge hers, to make sure he passes on a warning before he puts her in charge. She has trouble with understanding and valuing the people she cares about. And that will put them in danger when she's the Mastermind, just like his personal overinvestment does. This is a message directly to Parker of what could happen if she doesn't pay attention to that.
A gift, to Sophie. Not only did he give her a beautiful hand-in-hand death scene (she loves a good death scene), but more impressively, he created a con where being onstage was PART of the con, and so she could act. Well. Onstage. He's tried so fucking hard to be supportive of her acting while knowing she will never be good at it but he made a way for her to be good at it. If you don't think that's the cutest shit then get out of my face.
That's all the messages I found, but I think there's one other thing to note here. He's not JUST telling this story to the unknown Interpol Agent. He's also essentially telling it to Sterling. And one of the ways that Sterling is a foil for Nate is that he's often Nate But Moreso. If one of Nate's flaws is a tendency to see the worst in people, Sterling has that times ten. So leaning into his own flaw and illustrating Parker's flaw creates exactly the kind of story Sterling is likely to swallow. Just like referencing Sophie's supposed bad acting makes Sterling unlikely to question the setup. Not sure how the OT3 part factors into that. That might not be helpful for selling the story at all, but it probably makes Sterling gag so that's just a fun bonus :)
If you are in the Grand Junction area, here is the information for the memorial for our fallen firefighters. It will be this Sunday at 11am MDT and is open to the public.
There is a livestream as well: https://www.youtube.com/live/m7NVmRd1Q8w?feature=shared
Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.
Okay so actually letting a serious topic be vague and confusing is much more scary for a child than explaining it in calm language they can understand.
When you are in a safe place, explain the serious topic in a way the child can understand.
The fire alarm went off at school today because of a mistake, but your teachers did the right thing to take you outside to be sure it was safe.
Some people use wheelchairs because their legs donāt walk very well. It can happen because they are old and tired, or because they got hurt, or because they were born that way.
Your Uncle Jerod talked to mom and dad, and wants you to call her Aunt Kari now. We will call her Kari too, and we can all practice together if it takes some getting used to.
Anticipate age-appropriate fears the child might have so you can assuage those that are not a threat.
Yes, Kitty died at the vet, but that doesnāt mean that itās not safe for Puppy to go to the vet.
Yes, Peyton and Jo are getting a divorce, but they are both still part of our family and love you very much.
Yes, Grandma has cancer, but cancer is not contagious, so you are not going to get cancer by visiting her.
Anticipate fears that are realistic, and give the child clear direction about what to do, and what happens next.
If someone asks you to get in their car without permission, find Mom, Mama, or a teacher and tell them right away. We will make sure you are safe.
If Sparkyās sickness makes him hurt very badly, we are going to take him to the vet and she will give him some medicine, and he will die, but then he wonāt hurt any more. Because Sparky is very sick, we are going to spend some special time with him over the next few days.
If the fire alarm goes off at school again, follow the teacherās directions. If the fire alarm goes off and you are somewhere alone, go outside, and ask a grownup to call 911.
Reassure the child that theyāre safe and loved, validate their feelings, and see if they have follow-up questions. Give them the option to take space to process, or to stay near you to feel safe.
Iām sad about Sparky too. Do you think we could make his favorite peanut-butter treats, while we are spending special time with him?
I understand why Grandmaās cancer makes you feel angry. It doesnāt seem fair that people we love get sick. Would you like a hug?
You were worried about calling 911 if thereās not a grownup around. I wrote down some important things, like our address, and we can go over these together so you are ready if anything like that ever happens.
These things are principally the job of the childās parent or guardian, but in some cases directing the child to that caregiver is difficult or impossible (parent refuses/confuses the child, parent is absent, childās questions are specific and relevant to a situation their parent was not present for, etc.) so I think all adults should be prepared to have these conversations with kids.
If we really want to fight against this puritanical culture that seems to be hell-bent on running sex workers off the internet and banning pornography wherever they can find it, you have a moral duty to post hole on main. Doesn't have to be your own hole but you got to post it.
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āAlmost every other flagā is not an exaggeration. There is literally only one Pride flag older than the Leather Pride flag, and thatās the original 8-stripe (and then 6-stripe) rainbow flag.
A quick timeline:
1978: Gilbert Baker (zāāl) creates the 8-stripe Rainbow pride flag.
1979: For production reasons, the flag is reduced to the 6-stripe version most people know.
1989: Leather Pride flag created by Tony DeBlase & presented at the International Mr. Leather event on 5/28/89.
1995: International Bear Brotherhood Flag designed by Craig Byrnes. Introduced at the Chesapeake Bay āBears of Summerā events in July 1995.
1995: Red/black/blue polyamory flag with yellow pi symbol debuted by Jim Evans.
1998: Bi Pride flag created by Michael Page. He introduces it at BiCafeās first anniversary party on 12/5/98.
1999: Monica Helms creates the Transgender Pride flag. She debuts it the next year at a Pride parade in Arizona.
2010: AVEN creates a flag to represent the organization. It is later used as the ace pride flag for the community as a whole.
2010: Jasper V. creates the pan pride flag. This Pride flag debuted on Tumblr!
2011: Marilyn Roxie designs the genderqueer flag.
2012: JJ Poole debuts the Genderfluid flag.
2013: The Intersex Pride flag is created by Morgan Carpenter of Intersex Human Rights Australia.
2014: Kye Rowan introduces their creation, the non-binary flag.
And on from there.
So itās pretty clear that the Leather flag has been an accepted symbol within the queer community for years - and in some cases decades - before more recently-designed flags. This isnāt a case of the flag being ābetterā or whatever, but itās kind of undeniable that yes - the Leather community and the queer community have always been undeniably entangled.
"why do people act like calling their kink gross is oppression š" maybe because historically people have always tried to find an excuse to be violent against sexual minorities or those who experienced sexuality outside of the norm in general, & when attacking your run of the mill trans & gay person is no longer "acceptable" the next best thing is Trans & Gay Person Who Gets Off On Shit I Don't Like. oh & also because youre not just calling someone's kink "gross" youre organising targeted campaigns to harass & stalk people who make you a little icky & calling it a "moral service to the community". but you know, semantics.
Specifically if anyone wants to read more about the DSM stuff here's the link to the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, who helped spearhead the revisions to the DSM-5
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