💀

Wow i want today to be over so badly. There's so much pressure to be happy and grateful. This holiday has never once made me happy. Ugh. I hate it so much. I'm gonna try to just stay in bed all day. The worst thing about today is that it leads to tomorrow and tomorrow will be worse. It's always worse... I just want to disappear...

•(see list above)

Do you even think of me when we aren't together or texting? I think of you. You're always on my mind, everything reminds me of you. But is this how you feel? You never wanna talk about your feelings but im so insecure that thoughts like this pick away at me. Why can't you just tell me so I'm not silently questioning everything? Oh yeah did I tell that I do that? Every move you make I question it. I'm so insecure that every move you make, I think you're just doing it because it'll keep me around. Isn't that sad? It is right? I'm so afraid of losing you because I'm not sure if I have you. Loving you is making me hate myself. But I don't want to stop.