Two Veils to Hide my Face

Wow, I haven’t posted on here in a minute (especially a text post!) but I feel like I can’t express myself fully on any other form of social media. I’ve felt so alone lately. I’ve cut off most of my friends or they’ve cut me off for one thing or another, the friends that I still have aren’t incredibly reliable or only like to hear/talk about themselves. My boyfriend & I are in a really weird place right now where we fight over small things. My mental health is deteriorating fast but my phone anxiety holds me back from even placing the call to make an appointment with a psychiatrist. My dad had a CT scan to check for anything abnormal in his lymph nodes (he’s been in remission from Mantle Cell Lymphoma for about 2 years) and there was something weird in the scan a couple months ago so they did a retest and we find out the results of this new test on Wednesday. I got kicked out of one of my classes because i missed the first three weeks due to my anxiety being through the roof and not being able to get out of bed, which caused me to lose my financial aid for my other class. i’m in $8,000 of debt which means I can’t quit the job that I’ve grown to hate, and have $25,000 worth of student loans Im gonna need to start paying back on the 17th. It just feels like everything that could possibly go wrong HAS gone wrong and I feel so helpless and have no one to complain to so thats why i turn to my tumblr, the one thing that I can almost guarantee no one reads.