dating an idol is hard, but dating an idol who’s in a group as insanely popular as BTS is even harder

prior to dating seokjin, you were a bit of an army

by “a bit”, i mean that you had a fan account with quite a number of online friends

but you’ve also been an army long enough to know that you don’t need to dedicate your whole life to them, and you can enjoy it privately or with some online friends

in true namjoon fashion, you picked up korean from consuming korean content, some self studying and even a class or two in your spare time

when you get the opportunity to temporarily move to korea for work, you take it up without hesitation, because why the hell not?

funnily enough, you meet seokjin by coincidence, because you’re both always at the same café

you notice it’s seokjin sitting in the corner of the café almost instantly, but you keep that information to yourself because it’s nice enough seeing him in person on a weekly basis (even if it’s from afar)

your interactions build up over the course of three months, beginning with borrowing chargers from each other, to noticing you’re watching the same show on netflix, to actually being friends

at some point, jin does actually ask if you know who he is, and you obviously reply yes

he exchanges contact information with you, using kakaotalk because he’s wary of sharing his number with a stranger

he officially asks you out after a couple of months of chatting and meeting up occasionally, and saying yes to him was one of the best decisions you ever made

dating seokjin is an experience unlike any other

he can be quite immature, especially because he’s always around 6 other people who are younger than he is

but in your relationship, you get to see the mature side of him, especially when you have arguments or tiffs

seokjin loves being in the domestic sphere with you

he’ll buy you matching pajamas and mugs

waking up with him is one of the best feelings, because on lazy days, you can lie in bed for awhile and enjoy being close to each other

but eventually, you’ll gravitate towards the kitchen and cook breakfast (or brunch, if it’s late enough)

seokjin has a habit of wanting your affirmation or praise when it comes to things like his cooking

“does this taste good?”

“i did a good job, didn’t i?”

initially, you’re a little unused to him being so enthusiastic about your response

but you soon start to adore the way his eyes light up, and the way he lets out a loud HA! when you praise him for a job well done

the way seokjin introduces you to the boys was,,,entertaining to say the least

“NAMJOON, YOU’VE GOT A NEW BEST FRIEND NOW. GUESS WHO CAN SPEAK ENGLISH TOO?”

why oh why did he introduce you like some sort of english tutor?

from that point on, you actually do end up helping seokjin and a few other members translate statements or helping namjoon double check some things

the other members become accustomed to your presence, especially during periods where they’re all staying in the dorms, because you’ll always pop by to drop off some home cooked food

“ramyeon is NOT healthy, and you guys really shouldn’t be eating it so much”

“but eating ramyeon is an expression of korean culture!”

you eventually have to learn how to cook korean food because all 7 of them can hardly go a day without at least one korean meal

inevitably, both your schedules become busy, especially when he’s on tour, or when your own work becomes demanding

“i finally have a free day after practicing daily, why can’t we spend the day together?”

“jin, i have work too, you know. i’ll see you when i get home.”

the fact that it feels like there’s not enough hours in a day to meet one another results in a fair amount of arguments

at some point, you both grow and learn to manage your time better, and also to appreciate the moments you get to be with each other

you’re acutely aware of the fact that you’re dating a man whose nickname is “Worldwide Handsome”, and even though seokjin never makes you feel anything but beautiful, it’s hard because it feels like you’re not good enough

this insecurity is the kind that may build up into resentment or envy, so you bring it up to him one night when you’re in bed together

“i don’t want to ruin the mood or anything, but sometimes i feel like i:m not good enough for you. like people will look at us and wonder how someone who looks like me could possibly be dating someone as attractive as you. not that anybody has said anything,,, i guess this is kind of my personal problem to deal with,,, sorry for bringing it up.”

after a short silence, jin speaks, “i feel like i’m not good enough for you sometimes. because i’m always away and busy, and you deserve more. i think you’re one of the most beautiful people on this planet, because you’re beautiful inside and out.”

that night, you both stay up to talk about your insecurities, and it changes the way you see your relationship

major: photography

minor: music

club(s): video and photography society

so you and kihyun meet and become best friends in the first year of college because you live in the same dorm block

and you both ended up in the same team for dorm orientation

things between the two of you remain extremely platonic until your third year of college

things only begin to feel different when you ask kihyun to teach you photography

and he’s super excited to teach you because he’s like “time to introduce you to the love of my life, photography!”

things start off easy, he teaches you about the settings on the camera and how to adjust them

“ah yes, the ios of the camera,,, that’s something i’ve heard plenty about”

“,,,it’s called iso not ios,,, ios is on iphones”

“thATS what i said, kihyun, do you never listen to me?”

then he brings you to the park for some nature shots

you almost dropped the camera and kihyun felt his soul leave his body

but over time you start to enjoy photography and he brings you to all sorts of beautiful places

maybe it’s the sunset lighting, the soft breeze or the sand between your feet, but on the last day of summer break, he brings you to the beach and you can’t help but feel differently about him

you both take pictures, indulge in people watching, and enjoy the cute kimbap lunch boxes that kihyun packed for the two of you (he drew a small face on it)

so it ends with you feeling some sort of mixed,,,confused emotions deep inside, but you push it down because you’ve got “better” things to focus on

two months later and kihyun comes barrelling into your dorm room, yelling about how he needs a model for some assignment or other

he pretty much drags you to some random room he’s set up for the shoot, babbling on about how his original model came down with the flu and he’s so sorry to take up your time

after about 30 minutes of him taking pictures of you surrounded by artificial flowers, you ask if you can try taking pictures of him instead

and you shove him on set, talking about how he should try to get a good picture of himself for his instagram account instead of only ever posting photographs of other people

somehow, peering at kihyun through the lens of a dslr makes everything feel odd

for the first time, you notice how beautiful he is — not handsome, but beautiful

a weird sort of fragility and gentleness to his features

this odd feeling probes at you and you realise that you might have,,, romantic,,, feelings towards him

and this realisation pretty much makes it feel like your throat is constricting and your face feels like its on fire

kihyun notices and asks what’s wrong

you brush it off, and say it’s nothing

things remain,,, hazy for a while there, as you try to come to terms with your feelings

lunch and dinners with kihyun starts to take on more meaning

hell, even minhyuk, one of kihyun’s friends, manages to figure out what’s up

and honestly the amount of teasing is endless, like, jesus christ minhyuk if you don’t screw off i’m telling everyone who you have a crush on

safe to say, minhyuk shuts up right away

finals roll around and you see less of kihyun because you’re both holed up in your dorm rooms trying to cram for the upcoming exams

the way you confess is questionable, to say the least

it’s right before he leaves for a trip with his friends, during the winter break

and you just blurt it out when you’re sending him off at the airport

somehow the emotions that have been bubbling all semester spill over

“um, there’s something i have to tell you, before you go — you don’t have to reply me now or,,, ever, but i really like you” “not as a friend, but as something more? romantically, i mean.”

kihyun stands there, dumbstruck, mouth slightly ajar and looking more like a goldfish than a human

you force out a small smile and quickly wish him a safe flight before running off

and because this isn’t a romcom, kihyun doesn’t run after you

in fact, it takes him a whole six hour long flight to come up with what to say and contact you

the minute he gets off the flight and gets a stable wifi connection, he calls you

and even though it’s midnight back home, you pick up and he tells you

“just so you know, you chose a really crappy time to confess.  but i’m kind of glad you confessed because i don’t think i would’ve been able to confess to you first. i’ve liked you for almost a year now, and we should talk about this when i get back, but keep your weekend free because i want to bring you somewhere nice.”

looking back, even though the declaration wasn’t something out of a fairy tale, you’re sure as hell glad you did it because it made your last year of college all the more exciting

jooheon is more of a “let’s buy everything that looks pretty and the cupcakes will come out great” type of person

by the time you leave the baking supply store, your arms are full with multicoloured cupcake wrappers, icing, food colouring, sugar flowers, sprinkles etc.

“oooh let’s get that mixer, i love that colour”

“jooheon that’s not necessary, we have one at home”

“fine” (followed by pouting) (that clears up as soon as he sees some other ingredients that catch his eyes)

“can we use buttercream icing”

“sure, but let’s get some colo-”

“I FOUND A SET OF FOOD COLOURING BOTTLES”

he’s actually pretty good at basic baking once you show it to him

very good at hand mixing the dough with a whisk because,,, he has muscles now

shows off the muscles a lot little

plays music from a bluetooth speaker and dances while whisking

also jooheon spilled a bit of batter

he was very tempted to eat the raw dough

“you could die”

“some things are worth dying for”

has no idea how to do the buttercream frosting and lowkey melts it too much so you have to shove it in the freezer to cool it quickly

swipes some frosting for a snack if he thinks you aren’t looking

he tried to make the frosting come out nicely with the DIY plastic icing bag

it came out less than perfect but he tried to cover it up with sprinkles

jooheon is way too generous with the sprinkles, each cupcake looks like a mountain of fluff and rainbows

after the cupcakes are finished, he insists he’s good enough to go up against kihyun in the next episode of “kyun chef cook cook”

he basically forces everyone to eat the cupcakes

“the secret ingredient is LOVe”

posts an aesthetic cupcake selfie on twitter, captioned “i’m a better baker than kihyun~”

it had been two whole months since the two of you had last met up in person

kihyun had been on tour, and whilst you had been exchanging texts, phone calls and face timing daily, it just wasn’t the same

so when the day he’d land finally arrived, you prepared a dinner composed of his favourite foods (including chicken, of course)

but as time ticked by, the food began to grow cold, and your mood soured

you left kihyun multiple texts and missed calls, only for him to finally reply with “hey sorry i forgot to tell you, but i’m having dinner with the staff. see you later.”

your appetite had long vanished, and you packed the food into tupperware boxes, storing them in the fridge and proceeding to go to bed

you awoke to the sound of your boyfriend stumbling into the room late at night

kihyun smiled and gave you a big hug, “hey sweetheart, i missed you”

the smell of alcohol filled your nostrils, as you shrugged him off and frowned, “did you drink?”

“we went out drinking to celebrate the end of the tour”

you sighed, “whatever, just go wash up, it’s late”

when kihyun returned, he was surprised to see you with your back turned to him, and he sidled into bed, reaching over for a hug

you pushed him off, “i’m not in the mood”

“what’s wrong?”

something in you snapped, and you sat up, glaring at him, “what’s wrong? you didn’t bother telling me that you wouldn’t be home for dinner, i had to call you and text you first! on top of that, you’re home drunk!”

he sat up, facing you with a frown, “look, we haven’t seen each other in two months and this is how you want to spend the night? arguing over silly things?”

“it is not silly, i made dinner for you, and i was worried something happened to you. the fact that we haven’t seen each other in months and you couldn’t be bothered to send me a quick text is why i’m upset. you obviously don’t really give a shit about me if i’m so forgettable.”

“i replied, didn’t i? i’m sorry but it slipped my mind okay? plus, my phone was on silent, and i-”

you cut him off, “i’m really not in the mood, kihyun. can we talk about this tomorrow morning?”

“if you’d just listen and stop being unreasonable, i-”

“you’re really starting to piss me off now”

“fine.” he replied, curt.

he switched the lights off and got back into bed

the space between the two of you left each of you feeling empty and cold, but the stubborn fire inside of you refused to relent.

after lying in bed with a series of thoughts running through your heads, the two of you tossed and turned until sleep claimed the both of you

you awoke to sunlight filtering through the gap in the curtains on a quiet saturday morning, and you shuffled to the toilet to wash up

when you returned to the bedroom to find a change of clothes,

the bedroom door swung open, revealing your boyfriend with a tray of food in hand, “i made breakfast, i was thinking we could have it on the balcony today.”

you nodded mutely, making your way to the balcony and taking a seat as he placed the tray onto the table, taking a seat across from you

“do you have a hangover?” you asked, slightly concerned (after all, he was still your boyfriend, even if he was problematic)

“yeah, a little”

“good, i hope it hurts.” you retorted, as feelings of anger and annoyance towards him began to rise up in your chest

“i’m sorry. i left my phone on silent, and i forgot to text you. i know, i’m a bad boyfriend, but if you could just forgive me, i promise it won’t happen again.” kihyun admitted, fiddling with his fingers

“i understand, but it just really sucked for me last night, when i waited for you for an hour and the food i spent time making went cold. i thought we’d have a romantic date night but instead you forgot about me and came home tipsy.” you began to speak, inhaling a deep breath to keep as calm as possible, “if you really cared about someone, you wouldn’t make them wait.”

slight tears of frustration began to well up in your eyes, but you blinked them away

seeing this, kihyun reached over and softly held your hend, his voice becoming tender, “i know it’s my fault. no matter how tired i was, i should have texted you as soon as i knew about the dinner plans. i love you so much, and i’m sorry for hurting you.”

you understood that he had probably been tired and uncomfortable from the flight, and it was an accident, “i forgive you.”

kihyun gave you a sweet smile, “so do you want to go out tonight? to make up for yesterday’s date”

dating an idol is hard, what with the media, their fans, and their busy schedules

but every relationship demands some level of sacrifice and this is yours

and your sacrifice is small compared to the absolute angel of a boyfriend you managed to snag

sure, hyunwoo is busy and the relationship can’t go public, but it’s good enough that all the people that are close to you two know about it and support it

you take every opportunity possible to spend more time with him

spending nights sitting in the corner of the dance studio doing your work and watching him practice is a frequent occurrence

so is accompanying him to the gym (which also helps keep you in shape because he’s always trying to introduce you to the latest workout fad that’s floating around on the internet)

hyunwoo loves bringing you out to try new restaurants too because

“i love watching you eat because you always look so happy”

he used to be really quiet in the first couple of months of dating but after a while he’s gotten much more talkative

honestly he’s pretty sure the only reason why he’s more talkative is because you make it feel like what he says matters

plus you share the same sense of humour so he never feels like he needs to try hard to keep you engaged or entertained

but this doesn’t mean you can’t share moments of comfortable silence

sometimes, after a hard day (for either of you), you can both just space out or keep silent and it won’t feel awkward

because there’s no pressure to keep up a façade of happiness since you can pretty much sense how the other person feels

you can tell he’s had a hard day when he insists on having meat for dinner and barely touches his greens

mostly because meat cheers him up

hyunwoo with glasses is something he waited a month and a half to reveal to you

he doesn’t wear trendy wire glasses or anything

his glasses are rectangular and kind of nerdy but you think it just makes him look more and more like a cute teddy bear

speaking of teddy bears, he once brought you to a carnival and he won a giant stuffed teddy bear for you

it took him a million tries but he insisted on winning that particular bear because you said it looked like him

he also named the teddy bear “shownu jr”

it’s not the most creative of names but it works and it’s straight to the point

whenever he goes overseas, he’ll tell you to “hug shownu jr whenever you get lonely”

and when you have your daily video calls he always asks to see shownu jr because it makes him feel better knowing that some part of him is always by your side

he’s known for being a “robot” because he’s always expressionless

but you can tell how he’s feeling from the slightest facial cues

the boys call it your super power

you don’t know it but one of the reasons he fell for you was precisely because you can read him like a book and you never ever pressure him to be more expressive

he can be himself around you

dating him would mean having to step into the role of “the mother of the monsta x boys”

kihyun is grateful for you because he’s finally got someone to help him with the absolute disasters the other members are

you always pop by with food and always remind them to de-clutter their shared spaces because oh my god you just moved in here how is it already such a damn mess

they get so used to you it’s hard to imagine a time before you came into their lives

but even though you’re the supposed “parents” of the group, they’re well aware that you’re both a young couple

because hyunwoo is actually the most affectionate person

he used to be really anxious about skinship and pda but it soon disappeared after you literally told him you liked it

non-verbal communication is so important in this relationship because it’s his favourite way of communicating and expressing himself

the sheer amount of times minhyuk has walked in on you two snuggling or kissing

to which he whines about it being “yucky”

also hyunwoo is practically always bare faced with messy hair when he’s off the clock

he’s also a person who sleeps shirtless and loves to cuddle in bed

he will spoon the hell out of you

he’s a fantastic cuddler and he always makes you feel warm and comfortable

although it makes going to the toilet in the middle of the night rather inconvenient because you don’t want to wake him up

when you do wake him up accidentally he actually takes some time to fall back asleep

waking up to him isn’t as fantastic as it may seem because he’s usually frowny and silent (he isn’t a morning person)

but of course most people aren’t morning people either, so your mornings consist of nods and pointing at things

whenever you two fight it’s almost always about how you never get to see him

and you’re always concerned about the amount of rest he’s (not) getting

but at some point you accept that this is something that makes him happy and his job is what motivates him to develop himself as a person

and even though it means spending months away from each other or having to share him with thousands of other people in the world

it’s worth it because you know he’ll always come back home to you

and sometimes it’s just soothing to know that someone as amazing, kind and talented as him chose you

although if you ask him, he’ll say he can’t believe someone like you would ever choose to be with him