sarah

where is he. i know he’s there where the fuck is he.

Big anxiety/depression mood as well

im gonna roleplay as a functional person from now on

He touched the bar with his bar

Pffft

Imagine losing because of your dick.

devastated by the dick

My mattress is strapped to eight roombas and I leave all my doors open at night so the roombas can go where they want to. I wake up where they want me to be. I trust their decisions.

this happens way more frequently than you think, i assure you

Well if you frickers stopped literally presenting soap as deli food maybe it wouldnt happen?

who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese

who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese

everyone talks about “did you put your name in the goblet of fire” being the worst book to movie dialogue fail but lets be real the worst is where hermione answers a question in class and snape calls her an “insufferable know-it-all” and in the book ron is furious and he goes OFF and says “you asked a question and she knows the answer! why ask if you don’t want to be told?” but in the movies they just make him say “he’s got a point, you know” and i’m still mad about it

Of all a deer’s senses, their eyesight is the worst. 

IT DOESN’T HELP THAT THOSE ARE POSSUMS WHO ALSO HAVE TERRIBLE EYESIGHT. XD SO BOTH CREATURES DIDN’T REALIZE WHAT WAS WHAT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE I’M DYING. 

everyone in this forest is so confused and I love them

How in hell do you get “Dick” from “Richard”?

you ask him nicely

I needed ibuprofen after this.