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the best thing to happen in the last decade was the word ‘yeet’ which is extremely valuable. the worst thing was all the other things that happened. 

The only sign I’ll take directions from

you have to unlearn social cues to be a lush employee

Lush employee once asked if i wanted to sample some soap. I said sure, thinking id smell it or she’d let me wash my hands with it or something. She takes me by the arm and leads me to a sink. And fucking washes my entire arm. Up to the shoulder. I short circuited from how bold and intimate that was. It was my first time in a Lush, as i was an edgy mall rat in my teens so they wouldn’t let me in growing up. I had no idea of the intricate rituals that take place there.

The virus did write this because they have no sense of time.

quizzes are like “who is your favorite celebrity” and my options are 8 people I don’t recognize at all and one who I actively hate

Oh we’re performing behaviours are we? We’re acting in ways??

it’s a beautiful day to give me money