Make Believe
I inhale you, artificial happiness
I chase you with bitter little pills
Because reality cannot choke me
With my chemical throat
And one hundred dollar bill
You, time-thief seductress
Me, racing-heart fool with
Too many words, too many secrets
Shoving each other past numb teeth
Exposing me to strangers while
Regret waits for me in a cold bed
And shame rises faster than the sun
Who reveals bottles emptier than me
And ash from forgotten cigarettes that
Settles on the carpet like ghosts who
Remind me that I need you to be
That girl with a sincere smile who
Doesn’t long for eternal sleep or
Makes wishes on fallen eyelashes
For anyone/anything/anywhere
That isn’t me/this/here where
Everything is black and white and
I don’t know the difference, that girl
Who doesn’t drown memories and
Self-destruct like her father predicted
Who isn’t wedded to the lies he told
You keep my secret, play pretend while
Pushing me forward, always forward
Somehow back to where we began but
You are just my self-fulfilling prophecy
Pale, brittle omen who shoves me off the edge
