Santana Besos

All of these women are hilarious lol I’m glad to see them prospering from IG. It’s usually only men who get the comedy come up from online social media platforms.

When I worked in fast food for minimum wage, they would yell at us and lecture us about “stealing” fries and burgers (while we had to throw out TONS of food every day) as though the giant billion-dollar corporations of McDonald’s and Sonic couldn’t afford to give their employees something to eat (while not even paying us a living wage).

Now I work at an upscale restaurant (it’s fancy, like celebrities eat there fairly often) and not only do I make WAY better money but they give us 2 free meals a day (eaten on the clock) and they’re GOOD. Today I got baked cod, spring rolls, rice pilaf, stir fry, and mashed potatoes and eggplant. Oh, and free espresso and juice. From this restaurant owned by a local man who is in no way a billionaire.

For all my lazy friends who hate writing papers and don’t have money to pay your English major friends to write them.

Okay y'all want to know how to write every essay ever if you’re a lazy fuck like me? This form has literally never failed me. I’ve used it in English lit classes, technical business writing, on mechanical technical reviews, research papers, history papers, style analysis papers, college essays, anything, everything.

You use this form to make an outline - a hella in-depth outline, a ¾/5 layers deep outline, maybe even deeper if it’s got to be really long. You start with the big topics and move in until it’s tiny itty bitty chunks. Then you write a sentence next to every segment. Then you take out the outline part. And then you read the paper and combine sentences that are too small and split sentences that are too long. Ta-dah you have a perfectly organized and well thought out and PASSABLE, UNPLAGERIZED paper that you can do in literally 45 min right before it’s due.