Batfam × Neglected Reader( artist )!
SYPNOSIS: Your only escape from your cruel life is in your own hands.
WARNING: Not for sensetive people! Have several triggers.
Time flew fast and things chance it was simply normal for the earth to continue orbiting it's sun until it's gone.
It was normal for a father to forget one of his children and favour the rest.
It was normal to be forgotten but it's hard to be forgotten and making it obvious you are no longer welcomed in their home.. your home.
Taken by him after seeing your pathetic self and taking pitty he brought you home in his arms as your rested. Like a baby bird nesting with it's mother.
The first time you got to rest, in the arms of an unknown man that took you in his arms with the warmth of father.
It was dangerous to be at mercy so quickly but you were just a kid, tired, dirty and who missed any physical touch. Deprived of others and normality.
You could still remember it so vividly.
You were sitting by the wooden bed scaring away the bugs and pests especially the rats.
You were hungry but didn't dare to move away, scared that they would began festing on your poor mother who haven't woken up in weeks.
The stench could turn anyone stomach into a mush of green yet your loves for your mother stood stronger. Ignoring the stench as you fought off rats and bugs.
Then he came, look at your pathetic state and convince you to stay with him, as you let go of your mothers cold hand's for the first time.
His knees was on the floor as he hug you tight, his arms wrap around your smaller frame like a father meeting their child after a long time a long and hard time.
You remembered his wonderful word that sent you to another life you've never dreamt of.
"You'll be my daughter from today... I won't leave you cold, you'll have a father..."
He himself didn't knew what came over him when he saw you, to speak so unlikely of himself to do. But his mouth moves without any warning and he embrace you.
But now that fatherly embrace and warmth was for someone else... his affection and words didn't last long with you.
He used to read you bedtime story but now he rarely speak to you directly instead he would rather stay at his son bedroom when he's asleep to check on him.
You weren't his priority anymore, your privilege of having a father rip out form your own hands before you could even enjoy it longer.
Even the eldest Dick who was very enthusiastic to meet you acted like you weren't a living breathing person.
Everyday you texted him, updating him on anything because you just wanted to talk, you've never had anyone to talk to never.
You couldn't speak at times because of all the time you shut your mouth while crying so your mother could rest in peace, the countless days you spent covering your mouth so she won't be disturbed.
Forcing yourself to not speak made you hard at speech at times, but talking to him your older brother felt natural and you liked it. He helped you reach your potential yet he left you at the edge by yourself.
You've tried reaching for his hands for him to listen to your voice hoping that he might turn back and everything will he normal again. Your difficulty in speaking only increase when he harshly push you aside.
"You shouldn't be this clingy and desperate, you're not a baby anymore and it's annoying not adorable"
His words simple yet did something weird inside your heart, this wasn't the older brother you've always idolise... He's simple grown tired of you as usual.
You two had something special a bond that you only read about it in novels.. But now he doesn't even seem to recognise your face.
Busy with the new kid as well, who was cocky and full of himself and mean. You didn't understand why they wanted to bond with him so bad for.
You've tried so hard to be likeable and for this new demon to come out of nowhere and to be better? That isn't fair.
He didn't try his hardest to fit in with everything while you did everything to be likeable, you hate the idea of being forgotten when you are already addicted to the taste of being wanted.
You've never had anything great and this kid had something already and he's greedily taking yours, infront of your eyes and unable to do anything.
Now that everything was slowly rotting infront of your eyes you couldn't handle it. Your only escape from the true world was your own art.
you asked wanting to invite him for a hangout which you've never had in years.
Honestly the only time you even managed to have a word with him was when he was with someone else and they weren't talking, other than that he wasn't around.
Not to see you, not to talk to you and not even when you were crying at nights due to pressure and your poor health yet he never came for you.
Your first ever solution of comfort broke into pieces and taken by another face, you were jealous of course but you couldn't do anything but to watch.
"Me and Damian are going to the museum, I'll be busy"
He wasn't even looking at you, just staring at his phone typing whatever nonsense and it broke you genuinely.
"Could you call him? Im really excited to spend times with my little brother, they're growing so fast better take advantage"
He obviously doesn't see you as a younger sibling anymore, if it wasn't Damian it would be Tim or annoying Jason.
He always went out with him, never you. He acted like you had no feelings nor needs and it's unfair.
Isolation from the world was your only hope in slowing down the damage.
Your family that once loves you now replaced you with another face, that kept you wondering if you ever meant a thing... Was loving you simply a phase?
Is loving you so hard? You weren't extraordinary or anything according to yourself atleast. You've restrained your weird behaviour so they won't be weirded out yet that doesn't mean anything.
your hands are cramping from holding onto the pencil hard, you couldn't careless.
Your tears soaking the paper as you continue drawing, everything ache so badly and you wanted it gone.
Then suddenly a drop of red fell on your drawing ruining it, you sigh heavily.
Your nose was bleeding slowly, the blood dropping onto the white sheet as it got absorbed by it with poor efforts.
Your eyes felt heavy but you didn't complain just looking up as the blood still trickle down onto the sides of your face.
The drawing of Bruce, your supposed father. You have drawn the way you had remembered how you first saw him, that gentle smile and the best hug ever... How come time change people so much?
You tried to wipe the blood to no avail it soak through and smeared the blood all over his face, you turn the next page to saw that your other drawing weren't save either.
The drawing of everyone of them soaked with your blood, you almost cried because that was days of work down the drain because your stupid nose decided to bleed.
You muttered, closing the note at the verge of bursting into tears. Then suddenly something sharp hit you.
Your stomach is tearing itself, that what's it felt like atleast.
You haven't eaten well, Alfred already fed him more leaving you with less portions, always cleaning after him leaving you in the dark alone and scared.
You didn't understand why you weren't allowed basic needs.
Is it because im terrible? I've never done much, I've tried so hard to be good yet they always find a reason... to make me wish myself death.
Nothing satisfied them. Your outstanding scores you achieve with several lack of sleep that resulted into sleep paralysis every tine you slept, you've told dick about it he told you that... it was nothing compared to damian.
There again, always mentioning the slob even when it's about you, clearly nothing in this house is ever about you. You're just the adorable child for three years, easily replaceable.
Right everything you did was just behind him no matter what, no one could celebrate you without bringing him into the conversation... He was your shadow, always mentioned and speak more favourable of.
You tried so hard to not hate or be jealous but something inside of you just want him gone. Away from your family... It's a horrifying thought but your heart couldn't think of anything else better for you.
You clutch onto your stomach as you whimper in pain, you couldn't tell if it was hunger or a normal ache.
Everyone else could be sick except you, cause the moment you utter your sickness everything was always about you right.
"Im feeling unwell, my stomach is hurting..."
You told Alfred alone in the kitchen while he wash the dishes.
You've been ignoring the pain that makes eating unbearable, the feeling of food still in your intestine yet felt undigested...
"Master, you are aware that I am quite occupied as of now?"
His voice hold the same gentleness or you couldn't hear it because of the pain, the underlying annoyance.
"Alfred please, it's been like this son-"
"Master do I have to remind you that you aren't the one with bad illness constantly?"
You stood there shock, you didn't understand why he would even mentioned that... You just felt sick. You didn't mean to... Do anything bad.
"You cannot bother or try to attract attention this way Master, those with serious illness are envious of your state yet you perform their greatest weakness... Do behaviour Master"
You were utterly shock, wanted to cry bit nothing even bother to roll out.
You stood there frozen, trying to understand what you said wrong to always be the troubled one...
You didn't know what to do or feel. Sad because he didn't even listen or doubt... maybe he was right.
You don't speak of your illness you can't. Nobody listen, they never do.
Even starvation felt better than being ignored by the people you cared for...
Everyday you wome up you couldn't help but always think of Damian.
How Jason spent more time with him and let's not forget Jason hated your gut from the beginning.
Still to this day while he went easier on Tim towards you? He's an absolute devil on earth ro torment you.
Tim is too busy to acknowledge you as a person, he doesn't even remember your names... Just talked to you to make him some coffe and complain everytime you made them.
"It's too sweet, are you trying to poison me?"
You couldn't tell if he was joking or not, he seems serious his gaze right at yours his brows focus.
"Can't you be useful for anything?"
Alright, you understood your value.
"If you have no use then you shouldn't even be here... I don't need a complete slot as my sibling"
He seems pissed off now, you blamed it on the lack of sleep and over working himself. He wouldn't speak to you like that, right?
You called his name, abit nervous he did texted you to come outside into the backyard...
He was burning something's, seems like a cramping set-up.
A big smile spread onto your face as you walk closer. Is your wish coming through, did pne of your family members finally remembered you were apart of their family?
So many questions yet no answers, he was smiling as well with a book on his hand's reading.
When you came closer and look at the fuel pf the fire it looks like books- drawing books.
Your face went pale, he threw the book he was holding into the fire you saw the cover... a pink and blue imagine, the same one Bruce gave to you on your first birthday...
You went straight for the fire, not caring how much it hurt.
He was burning your drawing books, every one of them as he watch in horror as you reach into the fire and tried to took them out.
Your hands were burning yet you didn't stop, some note contains pictures of your mother the one you have drawn tons of times to remember... You CANNOT lose them...
The skin on your hand was melting yet you didn't stop, reach inside the fire embracing it and taking the burning note out as hot tears stream down your cheeks.
"No! no no no... Please no, not this- I can't... No..."
You couldn't think straight, the pain the high emotions you were feelings and the thought of losing you mother drawing...
Damian pulled you away from the fire after he saw you reaching in without caring about the fact that your skin was melting off.
"You dumb-ass! Are you trying to intentionally kill yourself infront of me for silly books you've kept away!?"
He yelled at you furious, not because you've hurt yourself to salvage the damage he has cause because he will be in trouble now that you burnt your hands.
"No! Let go, it's still doable! I won't let you take everything from me... It's not fair!"
You scream struggle and even hit him hard for him to let you go, those silly books were everything.
You memories, the mouth when you couldn't express, the feelings you've felt you couldn't tell anyone, the image of another you with the whole family... Everything.
You've kept them hidden for a reason, browsing through each of them whenever life was killing you again.
Everyone have gone out to witness what was going on and obviously the moment they saw the red on Damian face they went off on you.
Ignoring the blood and skin that was all over the place, Damian seems shocked as well. You couldn't stop the tears and your heart from ripping itself.
"It's just some drawings books... I can always buy another, you do not need to hit your brother"
He doesn't understand the value it hold, the new one would be soul less and no love... it couldn't compare.
"You just wanted to hit Damian cause you are helping because you are a spoiled brat that cannot go without attention"
"They shouldn't be here... They only caust trouble for us"
"This is utterly unacceptable Master Bruce, this is a behaviour of a child with no decipline"
Your books were gone... You were sent to your room and Damian was being taken care of... Well they bandage your hands but Damian was still being cared for but much longer..
You tried to draw but you couldn't, the pain was all over the place after the adrenaline wear off.
You couldn't draw... You're dead. You are no longer important, you are to be dead.
You covered your face with your hands as panick sets in, your only escape from everything was gone...
You utter quietly, ever since Damian came into the picture your only superiority was drawing... He was good but not as much as you, afterall you practice till you puke.
Your only talent that surpress the love child... Was now gone, it would be the same thing as dying if you couldn't even be of use now...
Bruce who decided to check up on you to discuss about your behaviour and maybe sending you away came inside.
"We need to talk, your action towards Damian is un-"
He stood frozen, your door creaking as it open further. His blood went cold and the word left his mouth completely.
Your body on the ground with foam seeping out of your mouth, your eyes wide open as a bottle was on your hands.
The same pills he have given to you to ease your stomachache, the one he didn't tell you anything about or how to ingest them... He didn't wanted to waste him time talking about that with you.
Next to you was a paper, a drawing... The mast thing you drew a butterfly with incomplete wings, it was messy and it felt like it was drawn by a young child.
Bruce remembered now... He remembered your soft small hands on his as you would smile at him brightly speaking nonsense.
"I like butterflies, they're free to do whatever... When I die I want to be one! Dad I promise to always visit you if I became one!"
Today was the day you've met him... The day he opened his arms so willingly for a stray he's just met...
