POETRY & PROSE | by sands

This feeling is felt by quite a few people I know personally. So it’s in a way comforting to know that it’s not just me. It’s nice to know normal it is to feel so strange.

But why?

It’s as if we are awake while the whole world sleeps. 

As if the very few us who have woken up from the hallucination that is projected as “life” begin to doubt and question the reality of it all. So we wonder, “Is this life? Is this all there is?” while the rest simply carry on living their day-to-day lives as if nothing is wrong. And to them, nothing is wrong.

It’s just us…wondering and yearning and despairing over the existence.

I honestly don’t know why it took me so long to understand this very simple truth: There is no great purpose in life.

Life has no meaning. Life has no grand plan or purpose. Contemplating our existence – asking that damned question “Why are we here?” – will yield no new information.

Life is life. It is what it is.

At the crux of it all, life is a sea of highs and lows that we must surf.

Lord Buddha clearly had it right. 

Suffering is the truth. The only truth. 

Even in joy there is suffering. It lies in the impermanence of it all. 

You can look at it and measure it from any angle you like but suffering is at the center of this existence. The one truth that we all share despite everything that separates us.

So we have two option open to us;

1. We can hide from the truth, whether it’s through self-medication or distractions. Drugs, retail therapy, sex, great escapes…pick your poison. And then carry on pretending as if life is perfect and nothing is truly wrong. Prolong the inevitable for as long as you can and be completely unprepared for when the emptiness of it all finally catches up to you.

Or…

2. Live in the truth, aware of exactly what life is.

  Of course there are moments when I wish I could be like the rest of this world, living in ignorance, unaware of the true nature of it all. But how can I ever regret being awake? How can I ever regret this awareness?

No matter how prettily it is wrapped up, shit always begin to smell for its true nature cannot be hidden.

There is no escape. There is no fantasy where everything is tied up with a happy ending, where all the problems disappear, and where you will find peace that comes as easy and quick as death.

There is to just live.

To somehow eventually end this cycle and find true emancipation.

And the first step to that is being awake to the reality.

It’s painful. It’s uncomfortable. But I am alive, and so I live. All I can do is to live…to live as best as I can, with as few regrets as possible.

We are born, and we die. Neither is within our control. 

However, everything in between is up to us. 

While the realization is scary, it is also quite liberating.

~

24.10.2020

1. The secret to everyday happiness is having an attitude of gratitude. 

2. Shift your mindset from an “I have to do this” mentality to an “I get to do this” mentality. I get to go to work, I get to have a busy day, etc. Don’t dress your opportunities as stress.

3. Cook at home 80% of the time. It’ll save you a shit load of money, allow you to expand your culinary skills, and give you more control of what you put inside of your body.

4. Take care of your body. We only get one body in this lifetime and it is what allows us to do everything we want to do in this life. So taking care of it should be our ultimate priority - so eat right, workout, find ways to manage your stress, and get enough sleep.

5. Everything you desire is on the other side of consistency. Overcoming fears, making plans, and moving towards goals you’ve set for yourself is all good but for you to see real results, do what is required every single day. Put in the work consistently. Discipline is the ultimate form of self-care.

6. Put in the effort to understand yourself as it is the one sure fire way to improve your life. Knowing what you need, what you fear, your strengths and weaknesses, how you study, how you react to stress...get to know all that about yourself and more. Then instead of trying to work against your innate traits, use them and work with them. 

7. Pessimism comes naturally to us. Sometimes it’s our default setting. We always have to work harder to stay positive but trust me it’s worth it. 

8. Not everything you think is true. Our minds can convince us of quite a lot of things. It can be way harsher and judgmental on you than even your worst frenemy. Out of the blue if it tells you that you are a terrible writer with no facts to back it up, question that thought and investigate if it is true or not. Conquer your thoughts so you may eventually conquer your life.

9. On that note, almost everything in life is a skill. If you put your mind to it and commit yourself to doing the required amount of work, every skill in life can be learned. Want to be a good writer, you can learn it. Want to be a better cook, you can learn that too. Want to be more organized? Woah! Guess what? You can learn it! And in this day and age, learning something new is just a click away. 

10. Mindset is everything. Everything begins and ends in your mind. There’s nothing you cannot change about your life if you put your mind to it. Within reason. If you decide you can, there’s a good chance you’d find a way to do it. Similarly, if you decide you can’t, you will guarantee that you won’t be able to do it. So approach life from a position of power, not defeat.

11. Stop complaining. Seriously. It serves no purpose and only brings more negative energy into your life. In most situations, you often have two options: change it or accept it. If you’re unhappy with something or a situation, change it. If you cannot change it, find a way to accept it and find peace with it. Worrying about it is pointless. Regretting the past cannot change it for it has already happened. Being anxious about the future is pointless for it’s still yet to come. Fretting about things beyond your control only distracts you from being present in the moment and enjoying your life.

   12. Feel what you need to feel and then let it go. Grief, anger, resentment, envy...whatever it is, do not dwell on it. Do not let it fester inside of you. 

13. Do not let how you feel rule you. Let it guide you, and guide it yourself but never let it control you. I used to allow how I felt on a particular day decide whether or not I went to school, or showed up for work, or whatever else. And in the end, I almost always ended up feeling guilty and shittier at the end of the day. It should be noted that I am not talking about mental health days that you just might need to recover from everything overwhelming you. But you should always pay close attention to whether you’re actually feeling terrible inside, or are you just feeling lazy. Sometimes reluctance is just laziness with a better excuse.

14. You’re not going to be at your 100% every single day. There will be fluctuations and happiness and sadness comes and goes. Just do your best to create your happiness. Just do your best to endure your sadness.

15. Be compassionate and patient with yourself. You’re doing the best you can. It’s the greatest form of kindness. 

    16. Don’t live pay check to pay check. Have financial goals and build up savings. Up until very recently (read 3 months ago) I used to spend my entire paycheck and go broke until the next one arrived. But hey! I am 27 freaking years old now and it’s way too late for me to be living that recklessly. Recording my expenses made me realize just how much money I used to waste on things I didn’t really need. Now that I have started making a realistic budget and actually sticking to it, I actually have more money to spend on things I really want to invest in. 

17. Debt is never worth it. Trust me, it is no fun having something like that hanging over you. Especially for a control freak like me, it was just a horrible experience. I ain’t going to say don’t ever get a Credit Card. Just spend wisely. Most of the things you think you desperately need are not always necessities.

18. Confidence starts inside of you. The one person you really need to impress, is yourself. 

19. But also...sometimes, even if you are not at your most confident self, you can still fake it till you make it. In other words, we all have bad days. We are allowed to have them. After all, we are human. We all have our struggles, and messes but it’s the way we carry them that sets us apart. Story time: one day, when I was at work, my best friend showed up on her way somewhere, and I was in my shittiest over-worn maxi dress. My hair was up in a messy bun that I usually put it up in when I just can’t be bothered to wash it and style it. I had red lipstick on, and flip flops. She took one look at me and said, “you look so beautiful and put together.” Trust me, I didn’t feel it but somehow my minimal effort looked passable enough. So learn to carry yourself well even when you don’t feel like it.

  20. In life, failing in some capacity is inevitable. So, fail with purpose and fail productively. Learn from your failures. Become better from those learnings. 21. Declutter your life. Clearing up your space of things helps to clear up your mind. Clearing up your life of people and commitments help you simplify your life. Live clutter free. Love and respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that is not right for you.

22. Not everything that weighs you down is yours to carry.  You can love people but you cannot “save” them. They have to save themselves.

23.  Appreciating someone else’s success or amazingness does not in anyway lessen yours. Lift each other up.

24. Be aware of your ego. Don’t let it ruin moments, relationships, and productivity.

25. Take responsibility for yourself, your choices, and the consequences of those choices. Blaming someone of something else is pretty much equivalent to giving your power away. So don’t be the victim of your life. Take your power, and own it.

26.  The purpose of life is to be alive and happy and just do the best you can. Don’t over-complicate it. Any of it. And definitely do not overthink it. There’s no grander purpose to life than to be alive.