The self-hate and downward spiral of pedophiles
The self-hate and downward spiral of incels
They are the same thing, same process, even the same solution
I feel like I'm banging my head against a wall. Why do I not have any relationships? Why can I not express my sexual feelings?
Oh I'm actually a danger to everyone around me? No I'm not.
Oh am I actually?... damn I'm a monster huh? What's wrong with me? Why am I this way? What did I do to deserve this? Is there a cure for this? Am I stuck like this forever?
Well if I'm really that bad of a person, then maybe I should be locked up? That's what we do to monsters, right? We lock them up forever until they change.... can I even change? Maybe I should just cut myself off from everything, repress these feelings completely, then maybe I'll be good enough that someone will accept me...
Why is no one coming to tell me I've done a good thing? I've accepted I can't have what I want, I've been restricting myself so much, does no one see that? Why do they still hate me? I'm not still doing something wrong, am I? No, I'm doing everything right, what I should do, so why?
I'm a monster, an evil disgusting monster. I hate everything I am, I wish I wasnt this monsterous flesh. I need to disappear, to better the world by removing myself from it...
I didnt do anything- I'm just trying to live my life. I dont deserve to be hated, I try so hard to be a good person. Why does no one see how hard I'm trying? Do I mean nothing to them? Do I matter to them at all?
No. It's the world that is wrong. All these people believing lies, propaganda, bullshit. They dont give a shit about me. I dont want to associate with a society that hates me for no goddamn reason, just because someone else hurt them, now I have to suffer. That isnt justice at all, that's injustice...
This is a societal problem, we are preconditioned to believe these things and fueled by our personal biases. There are definately monsters in society, but I dont deserve to be treated like one, I am my own person with my own will. I decide what I do and dont do, fuck everyone else.
I'm a monster, a evil disgusting monster. I love everything I am, I accept this monsterous flesh. I have these evil desires the world sees as wrong... but there's nothing wrong with me. I crave... and I will have what I want.
If I did act on my desires, would it really be so bad? If the world is lying to me, then there must be someone out there who still wants me, that isnt afraid of me. I want to stay and live until I find this person.
It's only a matter of time. I walk like a wolf amongst sheep, but I do not fear my hunger, I allow every thought. I just am. I look at each of them and know that there'd be no problem if I acually decided to pursue them. Relationships are very much possible, they just havent happened yet for me. And that's ok, I want to choose the right person, I must choose carefully.
There is a problem with how humans see the world, many lies told to them since birth. Illusions, societal expecations, social constructs. I want to help the world, to help others like me not be afraid of themselves, to clarify the truth of what love and intimacy really is. I will fight for my right to love, and to lift everyone up with me.
