☁️ ☁️ ☁️

I do still check this blog; you guys still send me nice messages sometimes. This is really sweet. I am doing a lot better these days and I miss this blog sometimes.

This is also really oddly well timed, because... guess who came home last night

I’m sure at least a few of you have noticed that I’ve just been gone for over a month and closed my ask box without saying anything.

I can’t really say for sure if I’m just taking a hiatus or if the blog is simply dying -- It’s not like I’ve lost my interest in GBF or stopped using my danchou, I still interact with both daily and love them with the same intensity I have since starting this blog.

But over the past few months, the blog has been a weird place for me. Things have happened that took the joy out of it.

First and foremost, this blog existed for myself and for friends -- it was a silly little thing I made for fun, where I just wanted to put something positive out into the world, it made me happy to make other people happy and self inserting is something really special to me, it helps me get through my daily life. I never expected it to get any bigger or for people to want to talk to me -- I was overjoyed that they did, and I loved exchanging ideas with you guys, it’s still something I hold dear.

With that being said though, It’s. Difficult to exist in fandom spaces as a mentally ill or traumatized person. More than anything I created my own corner in hopes of fostering some small space where I felt respected and safe. I liked the idea of being a safe corner for people who felt and struggled the same way, and kept pushing through.

I just. No longer feel like the blog does that for me, though. And it’s a weird place to leave off -- I look over my requests and check things I’ve made over and over wondering if I can just wait for the joy to spark again or retain that feeling of safety and control I once had, I feel guilty knowing that there were people who thought I could help them by answering comfort requests and things that I’m just ditching.

I do my best to ignore asks that suck and people who treat me bad. I don’t even really feel comfortable publicly voicing what alls happened to make me feel this way, but I just. Don’t feel happy here the way I used to. I feel more and more anxious and hesitant to exist here, unable to use it as the creative and emotional outlet I once did. It’s difficult to cope with feeling as though I’m not welcome on my own blog, or to feel like my content has fueled the fetishization of my own disorder. I don’t know what I did, but I know I feel pushed out of the space I created. I played around with the idea of simply locking the blog or deleting it as a whole for quite a while.

SAME DUDE SAME

“L-love? Are you sure?”

[She nervously holds your hands in hers.]

I wish you a wonderful Valentine's day as well, mod!!! Thank you for always feeding us with wonderful content 💕

💕💕 CONGRATS ON GETTING SHALEM!! She saw you got her a gift and felt she had to give you something in return it seems!!

[Passing by one of the corridors leading to the lower part of the ship, you finally spot her and rush towards her to deliver your gift!]

“Oh! Good morning, (y/n)! Where are you rushing off to?”

“...Mm? Ohh, it’s Valentine’s Day. I see. I hope your gifts are well received by whoever your target is, then!”

[In response to her well wishes, you hold out a small bag in her direction.]

Another Valentine’s short; and another batch of headcanons I’m just writing because jjggnnnh wom en. Enjoy!

Shalem lacks understanding of human customs, and a lot of being around her involves explaining mix-ups and satiating her curiousities.

Even asking her out in the way you intend to will take some time; she’s very literal and will take it the wrong way, lecturing you about human hormones and such.

Despite this. She’ll still accept with no real hesitation, even as you panickedly try to explain to her that this is a form of courtship and not something more inappropriate.

She doesn’t understand your embarrassment? Humans have needs. You do not need to scream in this way. What did she do that upset you?

Over time the relationship and domesticism will make more sense to her, but she’s not exactly the mushy, over-affectionate type.

She’s wholly willing to accept affection and won’t really ever reject you or ask you to stop, it’s just that she’s not good at initiating it. And really won’t initiate it unless asked, or copying what she saw other humans doing, out of curiousity.

Although she’s not the type to go around hugging you all the time and showing off to everyone how much she loves you, she will... stare at you. Like a lot. Sorta like a cat; she finds you interesting so she watches and stays close to you.

She also would like carrying her s/o around -- it doesn’t matter what size you are or how much you weigh, any of that. To her, you are a small mortal and she likes to hold you sometimes. Tucks you under her arm like a football and exits situations she’s become tired of.

At the least, communication is rarely a problem - Shalem is very blunt and forward with her feelings, and has a tendency to think out loud. As long as you’re forward with her as well, it’ll be extremely rare for disagreements or issues to go unsolved. As much as she likes you, though, she’s a bit slower when it comes to reading into hints and behavior; you can’t expect her to realize you’re upset about something specific without just telling her.

Despite being a bit more dense to how to properly be in a relationship, she’s very good about remembering things like anniversaries and couple-y holidays. She knows these things are important to normal skydwellers and that they show dedication from her end, so she’ll almost never forget.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Captains! No one requested this, I’m just gay.

Super sweet, but can get shy, so she’s probably not going to confess first [or she’ll confess accidentally]

She’s super direct and affectionate; she gets excited and just has to smother you with whatever affection feels right in the moment.

But receiving affection is NOT as easy and she gets flustered easily! She’ll need time to recover from every relationship milestone because she’s just so embarrassed and loves you so much.

Very quick to say ‘I love you’, and she loves to say it and remind you as often as possible! Even if you don’t say it back half the time, she just feels happy to remind you.

Tries not to let her expectations get the best of her, but when it comes to you, she’s a bit of a hopeless romantic; she ends up looking forward to every holiday and trying to plan fun things with you as often as possible.

Every anniversary and valentine’s day will be a decently big event for the two of you; I hope you’re ready to be an embarassing, mushy PDA couple.

Lots of mutual spoiling; her love language seems to very much lean into giving gifts.

Very excited to introduce you to her family and worries a LOT about whether or not you’ll all get along; she makes sure to tell you lots of stories and write home to tell them about you, she’s hoping you’ll all feel like friends already by the time you meet

Despite her sweet, and even childish at times, demeanor, she still knows when to take things seriously. She’ll always end up confronting you about problems and trying to talk it out because she just gets too impatient waiting for it to fix itself.

thank you for the concern, i will be okay! i will slow down some, i wasn’t expecting people to worry about me or come to my defense skjghj