SamALam

One day,

I disappeared.

I decided to wait and see,

Wait and see what would happen

See how I made an impact

Or rather, how I didn't.

So I waited

And waited,

And waited.

But no one took notice.

Not one soul or spirit commented.

No one who knew me even thought

Of the one that was gone.

I thought, long and hard,

About this.

Tried to pinch myself, wasn't a dream.

I gave up.

I threw hope out the window,

Lost dreams of things changing

Along the long road.

Unaware of the times my absence was,

At least a little,

Was acknowledged.

Because it hits hard

When you least expect it.

So even as it seemed I was forgotten,

I was remembered by those

The first time the flowers grew was in passing. It was Nick’s first day, and all he wanted to do was get through the crowd safely and swiftly. He didn’t even notice the flower at first. It took him sitting down at his first period desk to notice the lovely pink Mandevilla, marking your soulmate as a romantic partner. Nobody had noticed the flower, so Nick hid it in his sleeve.

The next time, they met face to face. They had collided in a Starbucks near a small park. Mandevilla’s sprouted on both of them, making everyone at the Starbucks gasp and comment on how adorable their meetcute was. They went for a walk in the park, exchanging info and story. The two boys hit it off wonderfully, and practically started dating right then and there.

The first time the roses grew thick was a scary day.

At the park was a secluded tree topped cliff overlooking a beautiful waterfall and rushing river, not so fast that you wouldn’t swim in it but fast enough to carry you away if you weren’t careful. Nick brought Tony here on their 2nd date, setting up a picnic and making sure they both dressed a little fancy for the occasion. Tony, not knowing how to swim, was cautious around the cliff, worried about the drop and his chance of survival. Nick finally coaxed him to sit on the edge, not believing Tony couldn’t swim. They joked and laughed, with one story making Tony laugh so hard he lost his balance and fell into the water. This caused Nick to laugh harder, not panicking just yet. Then he felt the sting, so sharp he started to tear up. Roses grew on his chest, right over his lungs. Nick couldn’t see Tony and started to panic. He dove in, luckily finding the poor boy and brought him to shore. Nick believed everything Tony said after that.

After the incident, Nick decided he would teach Tony to swim. Those lessons often happened at the gym his dad coached at, and Nicks dad was not at all happy with his son’s soulmate. Brandon, Nick’s dad, hated Tony for just the reason of him being male. So Brandon watched his son and his sons soulmate vigorously, noting each and every detail.

The next time the roses bloomed was about a year after the incident. Nick and Tony wanted to go back to the cliff, this time knowing Tony could definitely survive without need to get Nick. The only problem was the suspicious car they could have sworn was following them. But they payed no mind, excited for their date in the stars.

They set up and talked as usual. As the hours got later, Nick noticed a rustle in the bushes behind them. He was going to point it out when it stopped. So he went back talking. Then . . . BOOM! And Tony fell, bringing the horrible stinging of blooming roses, multiplied by ten.

Nick woke in a cold sweat, screaming and crying. His room was dimly lit by fairy lights, photos of him and Tony clipped to each light. Nick went over to his desk and opened the bottom draw, locked with a combination code. He pulled out a blade, but put it back. Was it a dream? Was it real? /Why couldn’t he remember if it was real?/If it was real, Nick could cut without being caught. But if it wasn’t? Should he risk it?

Tony woke gasping. He was having a nightmare, falling and screaming into an abyss. For hours on end, all he did was fall deeper,

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He was stuck falling and couldn’t escape. And then he did. Or so he thought.

Tony was sitting with Nick over the stream. A date under the stars. Nick was such a city boy, amazed by all the stars. It was kinda funny to Tony. There they sat, holding hands and just talking. Laughing. Being happy. It was a good escape from the existential falling and Tony appreciated it. Tony had been talking for the most part, while nick was staring at the bush behind them, laughing at jokes Tony told. He looked like he wanted to say something but brushed it off. The two began talking again and BOOM! Tony fell, terrible pain shooting through his back. And before he hit the water all he heard was Nick’s cry for Tony and the scream of pain that came with the roses.

Then Tony woke up. But not because of the dream. Because his phone was ringing at 3 in the morning. Before he just hung up he saw it was Nick, answering with a sleepy ‘hello?’. All Tony heard was muffled sobbing before seeing the roses filling his arms.

Tony jumped out of bed and rushed to Nick’s house. It took less than 3 minutes, as Tony was not going to leave Nick alone any longer than he had to. He rushed out of the beat up car and climbed up the tree, feeling the pricking of blooming roses on his arm grow and grow. He crawled through the window and just held Nick.

When we are young , we are told to wish on stars.

To wish and to keep it secret, or else it won't come true.

We were told to wish when we need it most,

Or when we cannot achieve it any other way.

I have made my wish.

I have kept my secret.

I have held out hope.

I have received nothing.

When we are young, we are taught wrong.

Adults tell us this,

Even after trying to get their wish themselves.

They know it won't work.

We stumble and trip over words all the time.

We laugh and we cry and we get angry

Cause they are that powerful.

And true there are times where they aren't needed.

But they matter all the same.

So why is it,

When I try to speak,

Try to express how I feel to friends and family,

They brush me off and call me crazy.

Everyday I was told to use my words

When I had been trained in the mind set

That mine didn't matter.

So what do you mean?

Can't I have a straight answer?

Oh wait, mine don't matter.

Because the last time a friend or relative

Listened to me

Was never.

But why don't mine matter!

I want to know.

I nod and shake my head,

Conditioned not to say a thing

And yet I'm scolded for doing exactly... that.

Can I make theses feeble words matter

When nobody listens to what I have to say.

Or will my words for ever

Is it fair to say

That a damsel was really in distress?

Most could leave if they wanted,

But maybe they stay,

Not because they are forced to,