SamWhity

I am alive. Barely but alive.. here is to the next few months being challenging in all the right ways. Tagging @indestinatus and @mrsmungus if they feel like sharing. I hopeyou are doing great ladies.

She watched him go, his long strides carrying him out of the slope and into the ravine, broad shoulders swallowed by the navy jacket as he reached the line of cars crowded with journalists already waiting to bombard him with questions no one had the answers to yet. It was always the same game. Chasing the same truths they would spend days, weeks trying to uncover. Still, Tony ran a hand through his wet hair and put on a brave face the moment the first reporter lifted a tape recorder toward him. And, briefly, she thought he looked like a wet dog. She wondered where his NCIS cap was. Then, with sudden shame, wondered if he had left it at her apartment. Her fingers brushed against the soaked notepad, and she looked down to find the words blurred beyond recognition, ink bleeding across the paper. Too late. She slipped it away, rain still falling softly around her. And despite the part of her that knew she should go do her job, Ziva could not stop watching him. Watching as he kept talking, without a trace that he had cried the night before. Not a single sign of weakness as police lights washed over him, changing the color of the air. Red. A leader, smiling at journalists with an ease she could not imitate. Blue. A man, standing on the porch of her apartment, searching for strength in a woman ten years his junior. Red. A sharp smile. Eyes intense enough to make her toes curl. Blue. Too much trouble on her plate. Red. His kiss. His tongue. Blue. A wet dog.

summary: Years after breaking up with Tony, Ziva goes on a date with someone new—but something about it just doesn’t feel right. 

AKA the disaster date she talks about with Dr. Lang in 1x01 (and all the reasons why that went wrong).

chapter 7/10 | word count: 37k

@sheistheweapon @benditlikepress @pro-bee @hundan @silvertonedwords

@addisonmontgomery @violet-bridgerton @loismagic @tivajunkie @hopeless-nostalgiac

@bettersafehouseroomie @tonyandzivauk @timeandpixiedust @adtiva @samwhity

@thewintersoldierdisaster @benedettabeby @irish-trish @loudlooks @wanna-be-bold

@icarusjarvis @tonysziva @delicatefalice @alghulnyssa @litningmyway

@dawg-girl @msdavid @mrsmungus @ars-adriae @thatcaithness

@tony-love-ziva @sillyrandomwhatever @wisteriaonbarefeet @visionismydaddy @vivalativa-701

@alandofwords @tivaswiftie99 @mykingdomforablog @jungle-through-the-ferns @oykamu

I didn't but I just made one with 100 songs 🙃

And the final chapter is up!

Summary: Ziva should have expected that a case would ruin her one brief glimpse at normal life - being a bridesmaid for a new friend. What she didn't expect was just how hard Tony would work to make it happen after all. Season 6: post-Jenny, pre-Somalia. Tiva friendship, but flirty if you squint.

“Oh come on,” Tony snorted a few bars in. “You’re kidding me.”  Ziva shook her head, listening. “I don’t know it, but it sounds nice enough.”  “Sure, if you only listen to the first couple of lines,” Tony said. “The rest of the song is basically a guy saying he’s done everything there is to do, and still feels unfulfilled. I still haven’t found what I’m looking for. That’s really the statement you want to start your marriage with?”

Read it on AO3

The next chapter is a go! I even did the thing I hate and wrote a case.

Summary: Ziva should have expected that a case would ruin her one brief glimpse at normal life - being a bridesmaid for a new friend. What she didn't expect was just how hard Tony would work to make it happen after all. Season 6: post-Jenny, pre-Somalia. Tiva friendship, but flirty if you squint.

“No,” she sighed. “Thank you, McGee. I will just have to call Nina and make my apologies. I cannot leave you all in the lunch with so much to do.”  “That’s leave us in the lurch, Ziva,” Tony piped up. His correction went unnoticed as she’d already moved away from the desks, phone to her ear.  “Bet that’s going to be a rough conversation. If she was bridezilla enough to want the photos to be balanced, she is not going to take the emergency bridesmaid dropping out at the last second that well,” he commented, nodding after her.  “Maybe,” McGee shrugged. “But I don’t think it’s Nina who’s going to be the most upset about it,” he added, glancing over to the windows, where Ziva stood, her back to the room, her shoulders sagging. Tony looked too. “Occupational hazard, McGoo. We didn’t pick this job for the sparkling social life. Our Mossad Liaison is just going to have to learn that.” 

Read it on AO3

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Never told anyone this, but the one visual I have of Tony searching for Ziva in Cairo is him trying to run in the middle of a desert storm and his feet failing to cross the sinking sand.

I always had the conviction that, from his perspective, it would be such a lost search. He found her once, then he did it again, and now the same person who hid such a tremendously big thing from him is doing whatever she wants somewhere he can't figure out. I still hate the plot device they used of "oh no, they had a child. oh no, she isn't dead" but that opens such a canonical traumatizing door for their characters.

I think that's why I wanted to write about it so much (for real, might do a third interpretation of Cairo somewhere in the future), because he must be so traumatized. He just found out he is a father, then that his partner is dead, and then that she isn't. That she lied 1) about their child, 2) about her current state, and 3) doesn't want his help. And I think maybe that's the one thing that makes him furious.

People (my past self included) wanted to believe that he would be all "oh my love, my sweetheart" as soon as he saw her, but I like to think it's even better if he was so hurt he couldn't put all of that information together. Just seeing Ziva and Tali together makes him flinch, because he wasn't able to fully absorb reality until it hit him like that. And maybe he would be relieved for a millisecond that Ziva was alive, but then be inundated with betrayal, because that was the one and true betrayal from her.

The fact that she doesn't want him involved (she only told him about their child because she needed to), nor wants him there, and that he can't really understand at first, but maybe it dawns on him that she is just wrong. The martyr complex from her doesn't work in this instance, and that's why I want to write this big, big, big fight between them, because she won't want his help, and now he can't make himself lose it for the third time. Even if she was so wrong, Tony wanted this life so badly that he would force her to see his perspective this time, and still, they wouldn't see eye to eye.

summary: Years after breaking up with Tony, Ziva goes on a date with someone new—but something about it just doesn’t feel right. 

AKA the disaster date she talks about with Dr. Lang in 1x01 (and all that went wrong).

chapter 3/6 | word count: 12.2k

@sheistheweapon @benditlikepress @pro-bee @hundan @silvertonedwords @purposelycoldninja @violet-bridgerton @loismagic @tivajunkie @hopeless-nostalgiac

@bettersafehouseroomie @tonyandzivauk @zeevah-ninja @adtiva @samwhity @thewintersoldierdisaster @benedettabeby @irish-trish @loudlooks @wanna-be-bold

@earanemith @tonysziva @delicatefalice @alghulnyssa @litningmyway @tiva2023vibes @msdavid @mrsmungus @michaelscotedeproblem @thatcaithness

@tony-love-ziva @sillyrandomwhatever @wisteriaonbarefeet @visionismydaddy @thetivarabbithole @art-of-tiva @those-angeleyes @clois2023 @jungle-through-the-ferns @oykamu

It took them very little to shed their clothes. Between “what if Tali wakes up” and the way their bodies instinctively searched each other, they ended up pushing their pants down just enough to feel the other’s skin rub against their own. It was a desperate useless dance, the one they performed. It was the last hopeless attempt of an albatross that seemed destined to perish, instead of soaring.

Tony and Ziva are falling apart. Between couple-retreats, weekends in Schwarzwald and the occasional panic attacks, this is the story of those untold moments.

Honest, painful, tender, the healing and the near misses, completely Tiva when they're together and yet you can feel how they grew apart at the same time. Definitely makes the leap from the proposal to the pool scene feel less abrupt.

Not a Sunday, not a Wednesday WIP... but finally writing something after @samwhity @sliebman10 and @indestinatus have all tagged me recently and I've had nothing to share. I finally caught a plot bunny this morning (and I might be holding it so hard to prevent it getting away that it's damn near turning blue.) Anyway, classic-era NCIS. Ziva is a bridesmaid. Tony is equal parts intrigued and annoying.

“So, Pepto Bismol pink, or seasick green?” Tony asked suddenly.  “What?” Ziva glanced up from the body.  “Aren’t bridesmaid dresses always horrible colours?” he prompted. “What unflattering shade has Nancy picked for you?”  “Nina,” Ziva corrected firmly, snapping a photo. “And we are wearing black.”  “Well, it’s hard to go wrong with black,” Tony conceded. “But let me guess... sixteen layers of tulle and fits you like a potato sack?”  “Actually,” Ziva said with a small smile. “We can choose our own. Any style so long as it is knee-length and sleeveless.”