Samurai_Fangirl

Chapter 13 - I want you

Over the next two days you felt that rift widening. Kid started to spend more and more time in Killer’s cabin, or at least that was what you assumed. In the meanwhile you took it upon yourself to teach Dive everything you could about medicine in the short amount of time that was left. That said, you didn't really have a choice in the matter. The little brat had cornered you more times in the last few days than you could count. At some point, she had hidden behind the door of Kid’s quarters until you left, almost giving you a heart attack. After that, you decided that it was the best for everyone's safety to stop avoiding her.

Dive was a quick learner, eager and with a natural talent for remembering almost everything what you told her at once. Also, she could cut bandages with her sharp teeth with a precision that was uncanny. You still forbade it, reminding her about a sterile work environment. She would make a good doctor someday, that you were sure about, although she seemed to be more interested in the surgical parts. It somehow suited her. But you wouldn’t be there to see how she fared.

“Hey, doc, what do you think about these stitches?” Dive’s voice pulled you back to the present.

“Huh? Looks good, looks good,” you murmured.

“You didn’t even look,” she pouted, but her signature grin split her face apart soon after. “I’m gonna tell Em and Quinc you were daydreaming again.”

She really was a little pain in the ass. You shot her a sour look. “All that effort and that’s how you pay me back?”

She stuck her tongue out at you. “Still a pirate, yoi.”

You groaned. To their defense, Emma and Quincy were going surprisingly easy on you these days. You almost wished they would go back to teasing you, at least then you might not feel like some fragile doll.

Even though you were on the same ship, you didn’t see much of Eustass Kid during the day. That’s why it was all the more surprising when he decided to join you at the workbench in his quarters at some point. You had learned that he had another room close by that he used as his main workshop, and that’s where he disappeared most of the time. So why he’d insisted on working in his room at this particular time was beyond you.

“Got any thread to spare, doc?” Kid asked when entering.

You whirled around. You had just started preparing a cloth with different kinds of stitches for Dive to practise with. You frowned. “What would you need that for?”

He just grabbed the remaining chair and sat down next to you, snatching the thread out of your hands. “Got a tear in my cape.” As if to underline his words, he took his cape off and sprawled it out before him, leaving him bare chasted. There was indeed a tear in the fur in one of the pockets.

You gaped at him. “You can sew?”

“Yeah I can fuckin’ sew. What’s with that look again, doc?” he barked.

“Nothing,” you murmured.

“Spill.”

“Just didn’t take you for the sewing kind of guy, that’s all.”

Kid snorted. “You seriously gotta work on yer world views.”

That shut you up. For a while, you were just working side by side in silence. It didn’t feel uncomfortable. You felt relaxed even. While concentrating, you pressed the tip of your tongue between your lips. A strand of hair fell in your face.

“Ouch, fuckin’ hell,” Kid cursed.

Your head shot up. He had pricked his thumb with the needle, his gaze fixed on you.

“So much for your sewing skills,” you mocked. “It helps to actually concentrate on what you’re working on, you know?”

“Shut yer smart mouth or I will,” Kid snarled.

Were you imagining this or had his ears become slightly red?

“And stop starin’, it’s fuckin’ distracting,” he snapped.

You suppressed a grin, wondering how far you could take it before he’d snap. Eustass Kid was like a highly active volcano, always ready to erupt under enough pressure. You cocked your head. “Jeez, what’s gotten under your skin again?”

If he hadn’t been flushed before, he certainly was by now, his neck almost matching his crimson hair. “I said shut it.”

You had to bite your tongue to keep your composure. You had way too much fun pushing that man’s buttons. “Are you alright? You look—”

Instead of an answer, Kid just bent you over the table in a swift motion, pulling your pants down. Less than a minute. That oughta be some new record.

“What the—I told you you can’t just fuck me whenever you want, I’m working—”

Your half-hearted complaints were cut off by Kid’s fingers roughly invading your most intimate parts, his hardening length pressing against your back.

“You don’t tell me what to do, doc. Not when yer body is so clearly screamin’ to be shut up by my cock.”

“Fuck you,” you whimpered when a thick finger plunged into your wetness, instantly breaking down every last ounce of resistance.

“Yeah, I’m gonna fuck that attitude right outta ya,” Kid growled.

*

It wasn’t for long until you lay flat on the table, dripping with sweat and cum.

“Safe to say I’m gonna need a new stitching sample for Dive,” you sighed, holding up the slick cloth between two fingers.

“Don’t blame me when ya were the one askin’ for it,” Kid replied, back to his smug old self. A spank across your ass made you jolt upwards. “Don’t think you have anything to complain about. Since ya just came twice on my cock, twitchin’ and moanin’ like a needy little whore.”

You felt your face heat up, which caused Kid to chuckle in amusement. You wanted to shove him away, but he had your wrists secured before you could even raise your hands. “Naww, don’t tell me you’re embarrassed for bein’ such a slut for me?” he cooed. “You know, ya don’t have to try so hard to rile me up every time you wanna be fucked, just say the word.”

“Yeah, right, I’m the one who can’t control her urges,” you snorted, trying to wiggle free. You could still feel his cum dripping down your legs, as if to emphasize your words.

Eustass Kid only needed one hand to hold your arms down, his other one roaming about your chest. “Beggin’ for round number two I see, since you’re still able to talk back.”

You winced when he pinched your nipple between two fingers. “You can’t just shut me up with sex every time we argue, you insatiable beast,” you huffed, trying to ignore your own arousal building up again.

“Thought we already had that conversation. And the more you’re strugglin’, the more it’s turnin’ me on,” he breathed in your ear. His hand found the way back between your legs, making you whimper in response. “Look who’s insatiable now. Yer greedy little cunt can’t wait to be filled up by me again.”

“F—fuck.”

“There ya go, doll.”

He knew he’d won and you hated him for it. You hated his smug smile and the fact that you really were so easy for him. You had tried your best to keep your distance during the past nights, hoping to get a chance to clear your head once not every fiber of your body was pulsing with arousal. It hadn’t worked out at all, even when you had adapted your sleeping schedule to keep the time you spent awake together to a minimum. But it was no use. As soon as Kid’s hands roamed over your body, your lips found his, as soon as he grinded himself against you, your body just pushed every last resistance overboard. And he constantly reminded you of that. No matter if he just pinned you down when you were trying to get up or if he casually decided to join you when you were taking a shower. As soon as he touched you, every barrier you tried to uphold came crushing down, leaving you with a lack of control you weren’t familiar with. It was like you were under a spell, as if he could mold your trembling, hot body into any form he wanted. It was addicting, intoxicating. And it scared the shit out of you.

*

On the last morning before you’d reach Sabaody the next day, a knock on the door woke you up. “Kid, are you awake?” It was Killer’s voice.

With a groan, Eustass Kid propped himself up on his elbows. “‘m now, come in.”

With a small squeal, you rolled from his chest, wrapping the sheets tightly around you. Last night Kid had fucked you for so long that at some point you had just collapsed on top of him. You still felt sore, the delicious burn between your legs had become a familiar sensation at this point.

Not a second later, Killer entered. For once you were glad he wore his mask.

“’s up?” Kid asked, furrowing his shaved brows.

“Maybe it’s nothing, but I think it’s a scouting ship of the marines following us. You should come and see for yourself.”

“Aight, be with ya in a sec,” the red-haired captain replied, already getting up.

The Massacre Soldier nodded and left.

You bumped your fist against Kid’s back. “You could have had this conversation without him barging in, you know,” you muttered.

“Sorry, doc, force of habit,” Kid replied. He turned around and shot you a smirk. “Why, you’re back to bein’ prude?”

“Forget it. I think it’s too late to have a conversation about manners.” You wanted to say it in a light, teasing tone, but your voice sounded stiff even in your own ears.

“Yeah don’t waste yer breath,” Kid replied dryly.

He quickly got dressed and headed towards the door. His fingers brushed over the doorknob, but he didn’t twist it.

“Just in case,” he said, and with a flick of a wrist, he pulled his knife and a small gun out of his belt, sending them through the air until they reached the nightstand. “Gun got six shots, hope ya can count that far. Don’t come out this door unless ya have to.” He opened his mouth again, but then he just slammed the door shut behind him before you could react.

Was it you or was he growing more irritated by the hour? He couldn’t allow himself to make any mistakes so close to the Archipelago, that was for sure. You sighed, letting yourself fall back into the pillows. The sun stood already high. You had slept through the whole morning. No wonder Killer had come to wake you up. You should probably get up too.

Stretching your limbs, you made your way to the bathroom, showered and got dressed. Somehow, you felt still dozy. Your body didn’t seem to be willing to fully wake up just yet. Perhaps it was due to the fact that you had barely gotten any sleep the past nights. You grimaced. Eustass Kid seemed determined to break some sort of sex marathon. One should think he’d be pleased, considering that you’d lost count by now of how many times you’d slept together, but for some reason it didn’t seem to improve his mood. Maybe he started to feel as sore as you did. Rubbing your eyes, you took in the sight of your medicinal stuff on Kid’s workbench. You should probably start packing.

A shot of a cannon echoed through the air. You were suddenly wide awake. Was someone shooting at you? Another shot sent the ship vibrating. No, you were the ones firing the shots. The words of Kid echoed through your head while you took the weapons he had left for you. You chewed on your lip, pacing through the room. A jolt ran through the ship, making you stumble, holding on to the wooden post. Had you been hit? Shouting voices emerged in the distance. To hell with staying inside, you needed to know what you had gotten yourself into this time.

Carefully, you snuck up on deck, crouching behind a corner. What you saw while peeking out of your hiding spot let your blood run cold. It looked like Killer had been right. The ship with the white and blue sails was too small to be a warship. The marines had probably stationed a couple of scouting troops around here to observe who was passing these waters on their way to the border of the Red Line. The Victoria Punk was much bigger and it looked like it had rammed the ship of the marines after firing at them. Half their railing was blown away, the main mast snapped in the middle like a twig. The soldiers were hopelessly outnumbered, it looked more like a slaughter than a real fight. Killer was jumping through their ranks, wielding his blades with deadly precision. The marines didn’t stand a chance, they were dropping like flies. A couple of them had already tossed their weapons and raised their arms in surrender, but that didn’t save their lives.

And amidst the bloody chaos stood Eustass Kid, impaling a young marine officer on a big sword, raising it into the air with his powers until the man’s blood was gushing down on the pirate’s face. And he was laughing. Laughing, while the marine took his last gurgling breath. He was embracing the chaos, breathing it in, thriving in it. The Kid Pirates were shouting and cheering, fists raised high upon their victory. Only Killer seemed as calm as ever, but there were strains of blood on his mask too.

Your mouth went dry as you took in the scene before you. You knew that’s how he was, what he was, at least part of him. His bounty wasn’t that high without good reason. But it was another thing altogether to witness it. It reminded you of the night you had met him. You knew you should be appalled by the actions you just witnessed. And you were. But not as much as you probably should be. You could feel your pulse speeding up, part of you cheering upon the sight of the dead marines. You were briefly imagining yourself amongst the ranks of the Kid Pirates, not holding back that dark urge inside you anymore, not holding anything back anymore. You were really starting to lose your mind on this ship. You needed to get away.

Since you were clearly not needed here and could do without getting caught, you slipped back into the shadows of the corridor and made your way to Kid’s quarters. You sat down on the workbench, your heart still racing, skimming through your notes without reading a single word. After some time, you started to calm down, scribbling some images of plants next to the corresponding entries.

The door flew open. Eustass Kid emerged in the doorframe, still panting, blood all over his face and chest.

“I thought I made myself clear,” he thundered. Droplets of blood sprinkled onto the carpet when he made his way to you.

You flinched. “What do you—”

“I saw ya.” He was towering over you, chest rising and falling, nostrils flared.

“I heard the cannons and the shouting. I thought—”

“Thought ya could ignore my order and barge right in?”

Damn it. You had almost forgotten how much he could get on your nerves. You stood up to face him, fists clenched. “You know what, I’m not answering to you anymore, remember? Our deal’s off. You’re not my Captain. I don’t need your permission to do anything. I’m still a pirate, I can take care of myself.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen that,” Kid sneered. He was about to say something else but he cut himself off, taking a step back, a hand brushing through his blood stained hair. “Forget it, doesn’t matter. Need to take care of things up there, can’t allow everything to get screwed over on the last meters.”

You crossed your arms. “Don’t let me keep you then.”

With a muffled curse, Kid turned around and vanished, slamming the door shut behind him again.

You let yourself sink back on the chair, burying your face in your hands. Your heart was beating fast, almost painfully so, but this time, with anger. Perhaps that was the reminder you had needed. It was impossible to get along with this man. Sooner or later you would rip each other's heads off. Tomorrow, you thought, while taking deep breaths. And until then, you would really keep your distance.

You started packing up your things, carefully letting them slide into the small compartments of a leather bag. You sealed your jars and flasks and put the dried herbs in small cotton bags. Rolling up and securing your bandages, you briefly contemplated leaving some of the essentials here. No, you decided, this wasn’t your concern anymore.

Finishing up, you let your gaze wander over your stuffed bags. It would be a lot to carry. But you would manage. You tied a few of them together, this way you would be able to hang them over your shoulder, leaving your hands free. Your gaze fell upon the knife and the gun. You weren’t keen on setting foot on Sabaody without any weapons. Dropping both on the table, you made a mental note to remind Eustass Kid about your daggers.

The Sabaody Archipelago. You had a rough idea what to expect, and that’s why you knew it wouldn’t be the easiest task to find Nikolai and the others, depending on where they docked and how far they were behind you. Maybe it would be best to just look for a safe place to stay as soon as you got there, scouting the docks from there. What if you ran into trouble? What if you couldn’t find them fast enough? How long would they wait until continuing their journey? They didn’t know you were going to be there, waiting for them. As far as they knew, you could still be on the ship of the Kid Pirates. Or dead. What if they ran into Kid’s crew when you weren’t there?

All these thoughts made you dizzy again. Or maybe it was because you hadn’t eaten anything today. But you didn’t want to go upstairs again. Maybe you should just sleep it off, just close your eyes and when you opened them this would be all over. You left your blouse and pants on the chair and snuggled yourself under the covers. But you were unable to find rest. In your head, you made plans and backup plans, trying to visualize your route and the best course of action. It wasn’t until you heard the doorknob turning, that you realized you had actually dozed off, although you didn’t feel rested in the slightest.

Kid returned, a tray with food and a bottle with booze in his hands. He didn’t comment on you being in bed, just put the tray down on the table.

“You should eat.”

Dried blood was still stuck to him like a second layer of skin, but it seemed like he had cooled down. Although he looked a bit unsteady on his feet.

“Thanks,” you murmured, wiggling yourself out of the sheets and sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to smooth down your messy hair.

The gaze of the redhead fell upon you from across the room, making you remember that you were only in your underwear.

“Gonna take a shower, wanna join?” Kid drawled.

His question lingered in the air between you like some sort of peace offering. Some part of you was tempted, but another part of you fought back the thought of him and you in the shower together. You had just managed to put some distance between you, best to keep it that way and not cloud your judgement any further.

You shook your head. “I already showered.”

Kid shrugged. “Aight.” He closed the door behind him and you heard water running.

Your stomach grumbled. Eating sounded like a good idea. You sat down on the remaining chair on the table, chewing on some bread without really tasting anything. The bread came with a colorful stew. It was still hot you realized upon burning your tongue. And really tasty. But for some reason you couldn’t enjoy it tonight. You eyed the moonshine. Why the hell not, it wasn’t like you had anything better to do. By the looks of it, the sun had just begun sinking. You squinted your eyes. It looked like a strom was brewing outside, dark clouds emerging in the sky. One more reason for booze. You didn’t like thunderstorms. You poured yourself a glass. The alcohol burned in your throat, but it also comforted the chaos within you. You took another sip.

Eustass Kid appeared in front of you, a towel on his hips. He grabbed the bottle out of your hands like it was the most natural thing in the world. He chugged down the contents before setting it down on the table again, wiping his mouth. You heard him rummaging through his cabinet behind you.

He briefly stilled in his motions. “You’re all packed?”

“Yep.” You took the bottle to fill up the glass again.

“Bet ya can’t wait to finally leave all this behind, huh?” He slurred his words a little.

Irritation shot through you. You turned around to see that Kid was now wearing a pair of loose-fitting cotton pants in vibrant hues. In his eyes was a mean glare. “Are you drunk again?”

Kid scoffed. “Just raised a fuckin’ glass or two with my crew to our victory.”

Now it was your turn to scoff. “Yeah, it looked like a hard won battle.”

“There a problem, doc?” There was a clear warning in his tone.

You didn’t care. Actually, you’d stopped being intimidated by him a while ago. For what it was worth, there was this sense of security inside you that Kid would never hurt you. Not physically at least. “By the looks of it, it’s fair to say that you’re the one with the problem.”

“Why, ‘cause I gutted some soldiers? They’d do the same to us any day.”

You gulped down some more moonshine, feeling the alcohol run hotly down your throat. “They were severely outnumbered, not even armed for a real attack. You slaughtered them.”

“Shit, since when do ya have a problem with killin’ navy scum?”

“Just because I want them dead doesn’t mean I’ll give in to every impulse.” There was an intensity in your words you didn’t understand. You didn’t understand what you were even arguing about, only that every sentence you exchanged enraged you even more.

“And look where that got ya. Think you’re a better person ‘cause you’re ‘savin’ as many people as you’re killin’? By savin’ Killer, ya made sure to send a lot more people to hell. So don’t bullshit me about some moral compass.”

A clap of thunder rumbled in the distance.

“Fuck you.” It hadn’t escaped your notice how he’d emphasized the word ‘saving’. “At least I got one. I don’t enjoy killing people.”

“You don’t know shit about my morals,” Kid barked. “I just got the guts to go after my goal no matter what. And I don’t give a damn about who stands in my way. Told ya, there’s no point in second guessin’, so why don’t enjoy the ride?”

You released a clipped laugh, shaking your head. It made you dizzy. “So you never feel remorse, even a little?”

“Dunno what you’re searchin’ for here, doc, but ya sure as hell won’t find it. I am what I am and that’s not gonna change, for no one.”

There it was again, the rawness in his voice, in his expression, that unspoken challenge, daring you to—to what? You weren’t sure if he wanted you to agree or to contradict his statement. But you weren’t in an agreeable mood anyways.

“Believe me I know,” you snorted.

Apparently, that had been the wrong answer, Kid’s expression hardening. “That right? So why do ya got yer panties in a twist about this all of a sudden?”

You took another sip. “My opinion never changed.”

You saw your words were affecting him, his eyes narrowing, but he didn’t snap. “Really? So it’s ‘cause ya despise me so fuckin’ much that ya begged me to fuck you all this time?”

You hadn’t even realized that you had gotten up, heat rushing through you. Of course, when he ran out of arguments, he always brought up sex. It was so predictable but he still managed to get under your skin. He always did. “What do you want to hear? That you managed to change my mind about sex after all? Alright, you win.”

“‘course I do.”

You wanted to murder him.

“But don’t bullshit yerself, doc, remember, I can always tell. You couldna wait to jump my bones and you’re just as fucked up as I am.”

How dare him. Before you knew it, you had thrown your glass in his direction. Eustass Kid didn’t even need to dodge it. It shattered on the wall. “I’m nothing like you. I can’t wait to finally leave this ship tomorrow and to never see your face again,” you shouted, voice trembling.

In a split second, the red-haired pirate had stormed forward. You flinched back, but he grabbed your arm and yanked you towards him. A sharp pain shot through your arm when your muscles complained about the rough treatment and you hissed.

“You wanna leave? Be my guest, there’s the door. No one's stoppin’ ya,” Kid snarled. “Whatcha waitin’ for?” he added when you didn’t move.

“Then why don't you let go of my arm?” you asked.

A flash of lightning split the night sky, capturing your frozen expressions.

Eustass Kid followed your gaze. His fingers were still gripping the flesh of your arm hard. You locked eyes for a second, just standing frozen on the spot, chests heaving. Suddenly, you were swept up your feet and Kid’s lips came crashing down on yours. You almost winced at the intensity that lay in that kiss. It pressed the air out of your lungs and blurred everything out, like you were just existing in that kiss and would cease to do so as soon as you pulled back. You wrapped your legs around the redhead’s waist, your hands holding onto his neck. When you finally broke free, you were feeling dizzy, both of you panting heavily.

“Trying to prove your point again?” you breathed.

Kid lowered you to the ground, but didn’t stop there. Instead, he pressed you down until you had no choice but to kneel in front of him. “Maybe. So why don’t ya shut up for once,” he said while freeing his thick cock from his pants. It was already hard, leaking precum. He wiped it off on your cheeks, pressing the tip against your lips. “Open up, whore.”

You knew that this was your cue to get up and tell Eustass “Captain” Kid to go to hell. To storm out of his door and never look back. Instead you stuck out your tongue, circling it around the swollen tip that was begging for entrance.

“None of that,” Kid murmured, before shoving his hard length into your mouth until you choked.

You tried to pull back, your eyes instantly watering, but Eustass Kid grabbed you by your hair, holding you in place while you were struggling to breathe.

“That’s better,” he grunted, slightly pulling out to let you catch your breath before roughly pushing back in.

You dug your fingernails into the back of his thighs, trying to push him off but the pirate didn’t budge. Instead, he was pushing himself even deeper into your throat and you let him. You wanted it to hurt, craved it, to feel anything besides the ache in your chest. You started to feel lightheaded, tears spilling down your cheeks. When you thought you were about to pass out, you banged your fists against his thighs and he finally pulled out, leaving a thread of drool behind that connected your mouth to his throbbing tip.

You coughed and sputtered, trying to keep your balance while looking up through teary eyes at Kid.

“Not so mouthy anymore?”

“You finished already?” you rasped.

You couldn’t even take another breath before Kid’s cock was back in your mouth, roughly thrusting into you, as if he wanted to break you. And at that moment, you wanted him to.

“Shit, just like that,” he groaned.

You grabbed his thighs to steady yourself, already choking again.

“Gotta breathe through your nose,” Kid grunted while forcing himself deeper inside you.

Drool escaped the corners of your mouth, slowly dripping down your chin while you tried your best to do as he said. But with every inch he forced himself forward, it got harder to breathe.

His grip in your hair tightened as he kept on thrusting into you with no regard for your choking noises. “Fuck, you’re really made to take my cock.”

Your throat burned, your whole body shook with every rough thrust, but that didn’t keep your own pleasure from building, even if that hadn’t been the point. You didn’t want to enjoy this, you wanted to leave, wanted to hate this man you—moaned around his hard length, your sopping pussy clenching around nothing.

Eustass Kid groaned, pressing his cock into you until your nose almost touched his red pubic hair. With a curse, he exploded into your mouth, causing you to whimper and struggle as it got harder to breathe by the second. He remained still, not caring for your sounds of desperation, forcing you to swallow every last drop. When he eventually pulled out, you collapsed onto the floor, coughing and wheezing, drool and cum leaking out of your mouth and mixing with the tears on your already wet face.

You winced in surprise when you were yanked up again and Kid pulled you into a rough kiss, suffocating your sounds of protest. With a swift motion, he lifted you up and pushed you onto the bed.

“Look atcha, all doe-eyed,” he cooed. “Didn’t think I was finished with ya?”

“You looked pretty finished to me,” you croaked.

Eustass Kid shook his head. “You never learn, do ya? By the time I’m finished with ya, you’ll know. That is if you don’t pass out before that,” he said, pulling down your panties. His words made your body shudder. “Shit, doll, seems like ye were enjoyin’ yerself quite a bit already. So soaked just from suckin’ me off. Such a slut for me,” he murmured, while playing with your pussy.

You tried to resist the feeling as long as you could, but after a few minutes, you were already panting. What was it about this man that almost instantly sent you over the edge anytime he touched you? His thick fingers were running up and down your slick folds, causing you to buck your hips until he plunged two fingers into you.

“Fuck, that little cunt is suckin’ my fingers in so greedily.”

You whimpered, feeling the treacherous heat spread through your center when he kept on bullying his fingers into your wetness. You had prepared yourself mentally for his teasing game, so it took you completely by surprise when Kid didn’t retreat but instead fingered you until you fell apart for him hard, screaming your pleasure into the roaring thunder outside. He kept on running circles with his thumb around your swollen clit, causing you to twitch and whimper.

“What are you doing,” you rasped, voice hoarse from your first orgasm and sucking him off.

“Told ya, I’m just gettin’ started,” he replied, seemingly unbothered by your sounds of desperation, starting to move his fingers again that were still buried inside you.

So soon after your orgasm, you were much too sensitive for that. You tried to pull back, but Kid just sat on your legs, keeping you in place, two fingers of one hand buried inside of you, while his other hand started stroking up and down your quivering slit. The feeling was uncomfortably intense, you were spasming with every touch in an unsuccessful attempt to escape the sensation. His gaze never left you, observing every twitch and every whimper.

It was too much. “Slow down,” you breathed.

“Already?” Eustass Kid chuckled. “Fuck, you’re so fuckin’ easy for me.”

He curled his fingers, causing a cry to spill from your lips. Pushing deeper until his palm was pressed against you, he started rocking his hand back and forth until your whimpers turned into moans again. Slowly but surely, you felt the feeling of overstimulation fading, while another climax approached you. Fingertips danced over your clit, rubbing over your bundle of nerves with just the right amount of pressure. Moaning, you let your head fall back into the pillows while Kid pulled your next orgasm from you. You closed your eyes, panting, the waves of your aftershock still pulsing through you, when you felt his hands starting to tease you again. Every slight touch against your throbbing flesh sent a jolt through your body. You couldn’t even stop your legs from trembling anymore.

“Please, it’s too much,” you whined, tears threatening to leak out of your eyes. And it wasn’t just due to the stimulation, there was something in the way Kid looked at you, his piercing gaze more intense than the burning between your legs. And the more sensitive you felt, the harder it became to keep all those emotions bottled up that you felt when looking into his eyes.

“Lookatcha, just fallin’ apart on my fingers over and over again. Thought ya wanted to leave so badly?” Another curl of his fingers ripped a cry from your throat.

“Still do,” you panted with your last ounce of willpower.

“I think ya wanna come for me again.”

“No, I can’t,” you whimpered.

“Nah, ya can. I think yer gonna come again and again, until you can’t even beg me to stop anymore,” Kid rasped, the fingertips of his second hand dancing over the slick mess so lightly, it made your legs twitch and your breath hitch. He softly rubbed your swollen clit between two fingers, forcing sobs out of you with every stroke. Only faintly you noticed how he simultaneously added another finger, stretching your walls out with even more friction than before.

By the time your third orgasm hit you, you were drenched in sweat, your whole body shaking uncontrollably. “P-please,” you stammered, tears spilling down your cheeks.

“Whatcha beggin’ for, doll? For me to fuck ya or to leave ya alone?” Eustass Kid asked, his voice rolling over you like the thunderstorm that shook the whole ship.

You shook your head, sobbing. “I—I can’t.”

“Aight, let’s see about that,” Kid replied, burying his head between your legs.

You couldn’t even cry out anymore when his tongue licked up and down your slit while his fingers were still teasing your inner walls.

“Fuck, ye should taste yerself,” he groaned, his voice vibrating against your swollen flesh.

You were too weak to fight the tremor that had taken over your whole body and the tears streaming down your face. With every stroke of Kid’s tongue, you just winced weakly, your moans turning into whimpers. Eustass Kid took his time with this one, slowly working his fingers inside and out of you while gently flicking his tongue over your oversensitive clit. He pressed his face inside your throbbing folds, his crooked nose rubbing over your slit while he carefully sucked in your bundle of nerves. By the time your fourth orgasm finally overwhelmed you, you had turned into a sobbing, trembling mess, reduced to the pulsing between your legs, just weakly tossing your head from side to side, blabbering fragments of words.

Kid’s blurry face appeared in front of you. He propped himself on one elbow, quietly observing your tear-stained face, his other hand still cupping your twitching cunt.

“What’s it gonna be, doll?”

“I–” You choked on your own words before you could get them out.

“What do ya want?” The gaze of his amber eyes bore into you, not leaving your face. His expression was tight, a contrasting image to the storm raging outside.

You shook your head, fresh, hot tears rolling out of your eyes. “I can’t,” you whispered. You winced, when he just slightly ghosted his fingers across your folds, another sob spilling over your lips. “F—fuck, please,” you cried.

Kid’s gaze was unwavering. “Tell me,” he demanded, following the way of your tears with one finger.

“It doesn’t matter,” you sniffled.

“Matters to me.”

You just couldn’t do it anymore, you felt so sensitive, so raw, so bare in front of his eyes. “I—I want you, Kid. All of you.” You nearly choked again, the words sending a shiver down your spine. Or maybe it was due to the fact that he finally released you.

You felt like something was breaking down behind the eyes of Eustass Kid, but his voice was steady when he asked you, “Despite me bein’ a monster?”

“I don’t think you’re a monster, at least that’s not all you are. Not to me,” you murmured. You felt yourself blushing but you were too far gone to care. “It’s not what I’m afraid of anyways.”

“What the fuck is it then?”

“This,” you whispered, pressing his hand down on your chest. Your heart was beating so hard that you weren’t sure if it might just jump out of your throat.

Kid stilled, a grim, almost pained expression spreading over his face. He pulled his hand back. “I don’t need anyone to fix me, doc,” he rasped.

“I never said you needed fixing.”

Kid’s fingers ghosted absently over your face, but you could see that his breath caught for a moment.

You cleared your throat. “What—what do you want?” Your heart was beating even faster in that moment, almost making you feel sick from the intensity of the feeling.

“Doll…” With a sigh, Eustass Kid pulled you closer, burying his face in your hair. You realized he was trembling. When you heard him say your name, you almost let out a sob.

Your body started shaking again, not listening to your desperate attempts to get it under control. “I—I’m s—sorry, can’t s—stop,” you said through clattering teeth.

“Shut up, it’s okay, you’re okay,” the pirate murmured in your ear, his big hands stroking your back. “You don’t have to do anything except breathe, doll. Breathe for me, nice and slow. That's it. Atta girl. Again.”

You didn’t know how long you remained in that position. You didn’t know it was possible to feel so full of emotions, so lightheaded it made you dizzy, almost wanting to giggle, but at the same time like someone was ripping your heart out of your chest.

It wasn’t until Kid brushed his fingers over your cheeks you realized that you were crying again. The storm outside had calmed down. You hadn’t even noticed.

“You know doc, ye can be surprisingly dense,” he said, shooting you a crooked grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Pft, you’re the one to talk about dense,” you shot back, but your voice was still trembling.

“And you’re a real crybaby, ya know that?”

You laughed, but it was more of a muffled sob.

“It’s fuckin’ adorable,” Kid rasped, kissing your wet cheek.

You rubbed your swollen eyes, not wanting to cry again. “Yeah, don’t we all feel better now?” you asked dryly.

Kid just snorted.

You nodded. “Yeah, it sucks.”

A smirk lifted the corners of his mouth. “I liked it better when ya sucked my cock.”

You huffed. “I liked you better when I only knew your face from a bounty poster.”

“Nah, ya didn’t,” Kid smirked, his fingers ghosting over your chest between your breasts.

You cupped his big face between your hands. “Fine, you win.” 

“Told ya, I always win, doll.” And then he kissed you.

After that, you slept together, neither of you willing to go to sleep. It was like a silent agreement, because both of you knew, the moment you closed your eyes, this would all be over. You lost count of how many times your bodies melted into each other, of the tears you cried, or the teasing words of silliness rasped between you. It was like you were trying to make up for lost time, just that it was the other way around. This night was all you got, so you had to make sure it would be enough. But no matter how often your body shook from another high or how often you kissed until you thought you couldn’t breathe anymore, it never seemed to be enough.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry, doll, even if it doesn’t make it aight,” Kid rasped at some point.

You frowned, trying to scramble one half decent thought together. “What do you mean?”

Kid shifted. You could tell he was uncomfortable talking about this. “How I treated you back then. I—just wanted to scare ya, getcha in line. Didn’t know if I could trust ya, Kil’s life was hangin’ by a fuckin’ thread…” His words fainted.

You didn’t respond, didn’t want to give him the absolution he might have hoped for. You both would have to live with that memory, there wasn’t a way to spare you from that.

He cleared his throat. “You don’t have to believe me, but I’d never taken ya against yer will or—” He broke off again but he didn’t need to say it.

You hadn’t forgotten about him threatening to kill or hurt you on multiple occasions or to drag you to the crew’s quarters, although you doubted that something would have happened to you there now that you had gotten to know them. But you hadn’t known that back then when you’d been so scared you’d nearly pissed yourself, half-naked, wounded and in chains.

“Guess I snapped. ‘s just what I do.” He paused, gaze darkening. Whatever it was, he shook it off. “You were messing with my head back then already, ya know? Made it clear you hated me, still helped Kil. Maybe I wanted to mess with ya too, tryin’ to figure out yer game.”

You could see in his eyes, in his pained expression, that he meant it, that his actions were haunting him. But you couldn’t help but let out a snort, not wanting to pretend that it hadn’t left its traces on you. “That supposed to be an excuse for scaring the shit out of me, for—?” There weren’t even words to describe everything that had happened between you.

“Fuck, forget it,” Kid groaned and buried his face in his pillow.

You decided to let him squirm a bit longer before finally replying. “So, an apology from Eustass “Captain” Kid, huh? That’s a rare thing for sure.”

He raised his head, finding reassurance in your teasing words and gaze. “Don’t get used to it,” he grumbled, his hand squeezing your butt.

“Don’t worry, you can try and make it up to me,” you said, for once the one looking smug, although his words echoed in your mind.

You didn’t need to ask twice.

Some of it was rough, you clawing into each other as if you wanted to crawl under each other’s skin. At some point, you felt like Eustass Kid had marked every part of your body with his teeth, claiming you, so that you could never deny what had happened, never forget. And you did the same to him. But what was even more memorable, was how gentle Kid could be, kissing every scar on your body, his fingers ghosting over your skin, spreading goosebumps in his path, wiping away your tears when you got overwhelmed. He was responding to every moan, every mewl and every cry spilling from your lips. He was touching you like you were the greatest treasure he had ever been able to lay his hands on and simultaneously as if he wanted to punish you for that. He was talking you through your highs and lows, pushing you over the edge when you thought you couldn’t take it anymore and catching you before you hit the ground.

And not once you felt like you were too much or that you weren’t enough. His touch, his words, his mere gaze upon you stirred something you had buried so deep inside you, that it was almost too painful to retrieve, for it hurt more than every single bruise on your body. Your whole life, you had always felt like a burden. A burden you had to carry alone and that didn’t make you fully belong anywhere without you feeling the need to hold back some part of you so that you wouldn’t be pushed away. But Kid didn’t push you away, didn’t make you doubt him or yourself even for a second. This night, in the arms of Eustass Kid, it was for the first time you felt that someone didn’t want to be close to you despite everything you were, but because of everything you were, not wanting to keep any side of you in check, but wanting you to embrace everything you were, raising you up to everything you could be. You saw your own reflection in his burning gaze, and for a brief moment you were able to see yourself through his eyes. And what you saw made your body tremble and your heart ache, because you realized that this was goodbye.

“Doll?”

Kid opened his mouth and your heart skipped a beat, almost expecting him to ask you to stay. He looked so vulnerable at that moment, hair messy, make-up smudged, gaze flickering over you as if he was searching for something. But instead he just pulled you close, murmuring your name over and over again.

Chapter 12 - One way to start the day

You woke up feeling somewhat clearer-headed for the first time in a while. The sun was tickling your nose and everything felt warm and cosy. You stretched slightly and stifled a yawn. Something was in your way. You opened your eyes to see Kid’s gaze fixated on you. You were both still naked, only half covered by the sheets. So it hadn’t been a dream. None of it. And the amber eyes in front of you left you with no time to contemplate if that was a good thing or not.

“You’re staring,” you murmured.

Kid huffed, pink dusting over his fair cheeks. “‘m not, just woke up. Sleep well?”

“Hmh,” you hummed in approval.

“Feelin’ better?”

“Much,” you smiled.

The redhead pulled you closer, hot breath ghosting over your ear. You could feel his muscular chest rising and falling and the unmistakable sign of his arousal pressing against you.

You grinned, teeth scraping lightly over his skin. “Seems you’re very awake indeed.”

“Hard not to if ya keep grindin’ yer cute little ass against my cock the whole night,” Kid drawled.

“Thought you were asleep?”

“I was but—do ya ever shut up?” he snapped.

You raised your head, trailing your finger along his neck that looked suspiciously red. “And you’re always so tense. You know that constant stress is bad for your cardiovascular health?” You stopped right over his heart, surprised to feel how hard it was pounding under your fingertips.

“Don’t push your luck, doc,” Kid growled, catching your wrist with his hand. “Good thing I know a thing or two about stress relief.” The lazy grin that accompanied his words left no room for doubts about his intentions. His hands wasted no time in wandering over your hips down between your legs. “So wet for me already, doll? Haven’t even touched ya yet,” he smirked into your ear.

You wanted to make a snide remark, but all that came out was a gasp as you melted against his touch. That man’s coping mechanisms were not exactly surprising. But you weren’t here to complain.

Being intimate with Kid was like nothing you had ever experienced before. You’ve had other lovers before, or rather some brief flings, but none of them had ever managed to turn you into putty in their hands. To be honest, after some experiences, you had decided that maybe this just wasn’t for you and your own hand would do just fine. It’s just sex, after all. Your words from the first night ghosted through your head. No one had ever made you long and burn for their touch as much as Eustass Kid. But you’d rather bite off your own tongue before telling him that. After all, you weren’t sure how much more his already inflated ego could take before it burst.

With his thick fingers, he circled over your slick folds, applying sweet pressure that left you aching for more, erasing any rational thoughts. 

“Lookatcha, grindin’ yer pussy against my hand like a little slut,” he cooed, the smugness practically dripping from his voice.

You didn’t want to question the tingle his words sent through your core, didn’t want to think about why all this felt so good. You just wanted to be in this moment. “I’d rather grind something else against it,” you grinned, before wiggling yourself free and climbing on top of him.

Kid cupped your breasts with his hands, slightly twisting your nipples between his fingers until you hissed. “Always so responsive,” he murmured.

You bent down, capturing his lips in a kiss while grinding your throbbing cunt over his hard length. The redhead returned the kiss hungrily, his groan muffled between you. Satisfied, you noticed how he twitched under you, his hands grabbing your hips to pull you closer. You straightened your back, your right hand wrapped around his cock, teasing his tip with your wet slit. Kid’s eyes were blown wide with lust, his hands kneading your ass.

“Don’t think yer tight pussy can take me without prep,” he said, his big chest heaving, a mocking glint in his eyes.

“Didn’t plan on it,” you shot back, your fingers running up your thighs.

Only to be stopped by Kid’s hands. “You thought, huh?” Your hands were pushed back only to be replaced by two much thicker, rougher fingers, slowly dipping into you.

You felt your walls instantly tightening around Kid’s fingers and released a whimper. Fuck. This man had no right to make you feel this good. It would all be easier if he’d be as brutish in bed as he was outside of it. Or if you didn’t enjoy him being rough and demanding during sex so much.

“Fuck yerself on my fingers, doll. Show me how much ya want it.”

He didn’t need to tell you twice. Something in that low rumble of his voice vibrating through you seemed to have a direct connection to your brain function. You started rocking your hips back and forth, every motion causing your breath to hitch, forcing little gasps out your mouth.

Eustass Kid looked you up and down, resting his gaze on the spot where his fingers vanished in your cunt, releasing a dark chuckle that made your core clench. “And ya thought you could take my whole cock right away? Greedy whore.”

“I ca—ha—fuck—”

You were cut off by Kid spreading his finger inside of you, sending a new sensation through your center that made you bite your lip to stop yourself from crying out.

“You were sayin’?”

Damn him. You felt his muscles flex beneath your legs, your gaze glued to marble skin, his playful voice washing over you, making you forget why all of this was still a very bad idea. Somehow, it was always easy to forget everything else when you were with the red-haired captain. You cleared your throat. “I can take it,” you mustered.

Kid shot you a wicked grin. “That so? Careful with yer mouth, doll, told ya I won’t spare you once yer feelin’ better.” He retrieved his fingers. “Go on then, show me how good you’ll take me.”

You took a deep breath, your pussy aching to be full again. But you didn’t want to let him off the hook too easily, wanted to tease him back, seeing how far you could take it. You took his pulsing cock, running your thumb over the slick tip that seemed to swell even more under your touch. A tremor ran down Kid’s chest, a tense frown appearing on his face, doing little to conceal the lust that was leaking out of every pore of his body. You positioned the tip against your entrance, embracing it with your slick heat, before retreating and repeating the same motion, being rewarded with stifled groans that were pulled from Kid’s throat.

He swallowed hard, his hands grabbing your hips. “Stop with the fuckin’ teasing, or I’ll make it worse for ya.” A warning spank underlined his words.

You grinned, pleased with the raw desire you saw mirrored in his eyes, his cock quivering eagerly between your legs. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were ready to go so soon after last night.”

Kid scoffed. “You better watch it, doll, I could fuck ya into this mattress all day until you’d beg me to stop. But it’d be too late by then.”

His words sent a shiver down your spine and your pussy twitching. You were briefly tempted to push his buttons a little longer, but even without his warning you were more than ready to feel him inside you. You lowered yourself slowly down onto his cock, whimpering when you felt like you were impaling yourself.

“Don’t tell me ya bit up more than you could chew,” Kid smirked, enjoying your struggle to take his whole length, yet he couldn’t conceal a breathy grunt slipping past his lips. He bucked his hips, causing you to cry out and stabilize yourself against his chest, trying to keep your balance. “That’s right, take it all, doll, I know ya can do it,” he praised in a husky voice, his fingers finding once again the way to your clit.

“Fuck,” you whined, when your pussy slowly but surely sucked him in to the last inch. You panted, not ready to move yet while Kid kept teasing your bundle of nerves with one hand.

He tucked his other arm behind his head, seemingly enjoying the show as he flashed you a mocking grin. “What’s up doll, I’m too big for ya?”

“It’s not tha—at,” you mewled when Kid pushed against you from beneath again, making your breath hitch. In fact, from that angle you felt you would come in an instant once you started moving. The intensity of the stretch was almost uncomfortable, making you whimper upon the slightest shift. 

“Bet you’ve never been stretched out that good before, huh?” Kid’s grin was so smug it suddenly made you want to slap him again, but you needed to settle for a needy moan when his thumb was massaging your clit. 

“You’re so—nghn.”

“Big?” Kid offered. “Skilled?” He let his fingers run up and down your exposed slit. “Best fuck you’ve ever had?” He set a pace so slow, you wondered how he could muster so much restraint, not even pulling out, just grinding you on his cock while pressing into you.

“Full of yourself,” you managed to breathe.

You didn’t think it was possible but Kid’s grin was widening even more. “It’s safe to say you’re the one bein’ full, doll,” he cooed.

You tried to scoff, but a flick of his finger against your clit made you gasp. It was maddening. It didn’t matter if you were on top or not. Eustass Kid was always in control, his gaze never leaving yours, observing every reaction. If anything, you felt even less in control this way when every moan, every whimper, every twitch of you was so clearly on display for him, his to give and his to take.

“Say it, doll, you’re so fuckin’ ready to cream all over my cock, aren’t ya?”

You squeezed your eyes shut, clenching, panting, wanting. So close.

“Eyes on me.”

You lifted your gaze. You were drowning in amber heat, your fingers aimlessly roaming over damp skin to find something to hold onto. Another thrust. A low chuckle when a needy whimper was ripped from your throat. “F—uck you—u,” you whined, your clit still throbbing. “Need to—”

“Only good sluts get to come. Gonna need to hear ya say it.”

You could feel sweat dripping down your body, you felt so hot, every fiber in you screaming for sweet release. You licked your lips. “I need to come, please.”

“Naww, know ya can do better.” 

You knew he wanted you to stroke his ego, but at this point you’d say anything. He didn’t need to know it was true though. “You’re making me feel so—oh good,” you panted. “Never came so hard e—ever before.”

You could see how it affected him, feeling him twitch inside you. His mask of smugness slipped for a moment, as if he hadn’t expected that, his mouth hanging slightly open, a low groan spilling out. Fueled by the sight, you started moving your hips. Every time you locked eyes with the red-haired pirate, your walls pulsed, sending jolts of pleasure through your whole body. You started to pant harder, bouncing on his cock while noticing the waves of your climax approaching fast.

“I’m—” you tried to say, but Kid bucking his hips cut you off, leaving you to moan instead.

“You’re gonna come bouncing on my cock, doll?” he rasped, cupping your breasts again, as he was drinking in the sight of you hungrily, pupils blown wide.

You entangled your fingers with his, nodding and whimpering. “Yes.”

“Then let everyone hear who's fucking ya so good, who owns this sweet pussy.”

“Kid,” you whined.

A shiver. “Louder,” he commanded, voice growing tense.

“Kid!”

“Again,” he panted, his tone raw, almost desperate.

“KID!” you cried from the top of your lungs, drowning out the noises of approval Eustass Kid released beneath you.

Your legs started trembling so hard, you had to lean against his chest for support when your orgasm hit you. His crooked nose pressed against yours, your lips met, but you were too far gone to manage more than exchanging breathy moans. Kid pulled you even closer, burying his face in your neck, biting down as if to stifle his ragged, erratic breathing. You weakly protested when you felt that he broke skin, but you were too drunk on hormones to actually care. His body started shaking when he reached his own high, hands roaming over your back to hold you close. 

You collapsed on top of him, resting your head against his heaving chest, still shuddering, savoring the feeling of floating around weightlessly as if you’d left your body for a moment.

The redhead was the first to recover, you could feel him smirking against your head. “Seems like ya changed yer mind about sex after all, doll, huh?”

You huffed. Of course, that’s what he was thinking about. If that was all he cared about… “Maybe,” you drawled, grinning, when you felt him tense under you.

“Maybe?!” Kid scoffed, echoing your words in disbelief. “Whole damn Grand Line could hear it wasn’t a maybe!”

Your grin widened. This was fun, you decided. You raised your head to meet his glare. “I may need to experiment further for clarification,” you said innocently.

A slap against your ass made you jolt forward. “Shit, doll, that fuckin’ mouth of yers,” Kid grunted before pulling you in for a deep kiss.

You felt your breathing speed up again when his teeth nibbled at your lower lip, his smirk against you infectious, overwhelming, a warm tingle that would continue to spread the infection through your whole body if you weren’t careful. You pulled back. “Well, that’s one way to start the day,” you said sheepishly. Don’t get used to it, the tiny voice in the back of your head said.

Kid’s eyes narrowed slightly as he glanced upon you. “Yeah, I agree. Listen, doll, there are a few things I gotta take care of today. There is breakfast on deck, but I can grab some for ya.”

“Nah, it’s fine, I feel like stretching my legs a little anyways,” you replied, wriggling yourself off his chest.

Eustass Kid sat on the edge of the bed, briefly drumming his fingers on the nightstand before getting up. “Good.”

He vanished in the bathroom. You slowly got up to sit on the bed, rubbing your hands across your face. Today you felt much better already, still a bit weak, but all things considered, you were doing fine. You unwrapped the bandage on your arm, hissing slightly. It still hurt and would definitely leave a scar, but one scar more or less on your arm wouldn’t make a difference anyways. At least the wound was clean, leaking no fluids, and the swelling had gone back.

Your gaze shot up when Kid reentered the bedroom, starting to get dressed.

“How’s the arm, doc?” he murmured while grabbing his cape.

“The wound looks good, maybe you should consider a different profession.”

Kid stilled in his movements. “Nah, I’ll leave the part of savin’ people to you,” he eventually said. Clearing his throat, he added “Rather create some more cases for ya.” He shot you a toothy grin, but his body tensed upon his words as if he hadn’t meant to say them.

“Your generosity knows no bounds,” you replied dryly.

He hummed, gaze flickering over you like he was searching for something. “Bathroom ‘s all yers,” he just said, abruptly turning around and leaving the room, nearly bumping against the doorframe.

You frowned. It seemed like he was in a hurry. You supposed he had some catching up to do on his duties. Your stomach grumbled. And you should really get something to eat.

After a quick shower, you bandaged your arm and examined the bruises on your face. They were still visible, but fading, making you look less like a punching bag. Your lips were still swollen but you doubted it was due to the run in with the marines this time. The bite marks were also fading, except for the new ones of course. You sighed. Maybe you should start thinking about how you wanted to face your crew again. But then again, you still had some time, didn’t you?

After you got dressed, you stepped outside on the upper deck. It was another sunny day with only a few clouds hanging in the sky. The wind had picked up though. On the low table stood a few plates with bread, fruits and also a can with coffee. You strolled towards the table, searching for a cup. Some of the Kid Pirates were passing by you, murmuring greetings or nodding in your direction. Everything felt so—normal.

“There she is!”

You whirled around and were greeted by the grinning faces of Emma and Quincy. You couldn’t help but to return it.

“Don’t tell me you missed me.”

“Of course we did, you had us worried, raven girl,” Emma replied.

“If you’d died, we wouldn’t have anyone to tease. At least no one that blushes as cute as you do,” Quincy added.

“Well I didn’t miss you one bit,” you grumbled. Where were these cups?

“Ouch, that hurt, doc,” Quincy gasped with feigned indignation.

“Nah, she’s right Quinc, how could she miss us when the boss took such good personal care of her?”

There it was again, the embarrassed heat spreading over your face. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you tried.

“No need to deny it, doc, whole ship heard ya.”

You groaned. Perfect. Just what you had needed. The memory of you screaming their Captain’s name from the top of your lungs burned through your skin. “You know what, I’ve changed my mind, fuck breakfast, I’m gonna head back to bed.”

“Yeah, we know you can’t wait to go back there, raven girl,” Emma laughed.

Bloody hell. They were so persistent, there was nothing you could do. All the defenses you had built up around you were just taken down with kindness. You laughed in defeat. “Screwed me over myself with that last one, huh?”

Quincy chuckled. “Not as good as—”

You waved her off. “Stop, I get it, okay, just please stop. Please?”

Emma patted your back. “Since you asked so nicely. But jokes aside, we’re glad you pulled through.”

“And we’re not the only ones,” Quincy added with a wink.

Your face was growing hotter by the second. This needed to stop. And not only because they were such a tease, but because you actually liked them. It was so easy around the women. You could almost imagine… What? Becoming friends with them? To what end? “Yeah, yeah, I got it alright, you’re a pain in the ass, it’s more than my weakened body can handle, so get lost, doctor’s order,” you muttered.

When they finally left you alone, you took a deep breath. You still didn’t understand why they were acting so friendly. Well, also annoying, but they clearly meant well. It had been easier when you could just hate them all in peace.

“Looking for these?”

You turned around to see the Massacre Soldier approaching you, two cups in his hands. He wore his mask again, but his steps were steady, his presence strong.

“Or are you not a coffee person?” Killer asked when you didn’t answer immediately.

“Sorry, coffee sounds fantastic,” you replied.

The blonde pirate drained you a cup of the steaming hot liquid. You thanked him silently and grabbed some of the fruits as well. You stepped towards the railing, placing your cup on top of it while waiting for it to cool down.

Killer joined you with the grace of a cat. “I’m glad to see you’re better, doc.”

“Thanks. What about you? You look well.”

“I am. Almost feeling like my old self again. I won’t thank you again but just because I know you don’t like hearing it.”

You shot him a grin. “I appreciate it. Before I forget, I heard you’re the cook on this ship?”

Perhaps you imagined it, but you felt like he stiffened for a moment. “That’s right.”

You whistled. “Damn, so it’s true.”

“You sound surprised.”

“Didn’t take you for the cooking kind.”

He shrugged. “I like it. Just me, a handful of ingredients and some sharp knives. My form of meditating I guess.”

Again, the image of the Massacre Soldiers wielding his blades in the kitchen crossed your mind. You cleared your throat, trying to suppress the growing amusement inside you. You didn’t want him thinking that you made fun of him. “Well, seems like I gotta thank you this time. That chicken noodle soup? Probably the best soup I ever tasted.”

Killer made a low, muffled sound behind his mask.

You eyed him. “Don’t tell me you’re blushing behind this mask?”

“That’s the beauty of it, no? The mystery.”

Well, maybe for him. You let your gaze wander. As far as your eyes could reach, you saw only water around you.

“Are you thinking about what lies ahead?”

You hummed, cutting open a mangosteen with a small kitchen knife. “It’s just so exciting, not knowing what to expect. I’ve heard so many stories about the New World. Can’t wait to find out for myself.”

The blonde man nodded. “Indeed. There are endless possibilities that lay ahead, a lot of choices to be made.”

Sometimes you wished you could see his face while talking. Looking around, your gaze fell upon Eustass Kid. He was busy talking with Heat and Wire, gesturing around, laughing. Suddenly, he met your gaze, and he shot you a wide smirk. You returned it without thinking. As he was standing there, the wind brushing through his crimson red hair, his cape fluttering behind his massive figure, a confident grin painted over his face, you could see why his crew followed him.

“So how is it going with keeping your distance?” Killer asked innocently.

“Really well,” you answered, way too fast.

“You two are about as subtle as a marine ambush,” he replied dryly.

“It’s not like staying in one cabin makes it easier to stay out of each other’s way,” you said while popping a piece of mangosteen into your mouth.

“You don’t need to tell me,” Killer murmured and you could have sworn that there was a disapproving frown under the mask. It almost sounded like he’d already told his Captain as much. Well, you were quite literally sleeping with the enemy, of course his right hand man had a thing or two to say about that.

You took a sip of your coffee to hide the blush spreading over your cheeks again. Why could no one on this ship mind his own goddamn business? “It’s not what you think. Soon none of it will matter anyway,” you mumbled into your cup.

Was that a huff? Damn this mask.

“It doesn’t matter what I think, doc,” the Massacre Soldier said. “I’m just observing.”

“But you don’t approve.”

He slowly shook his head. “That’s not it. I just know Kid better than anyone and—I’m wondering if you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

You shifted, feeling like the eyes behind the mask pierced right through you. Why did you have the feeling you were being interrogated? “We’re both adults. Besides, in a couple of days we’re parting ways, probably for good.”

Killer stilled for a moment. “I see.” Then he shrugged. “Maybe it is as you say. But have you ever considered what comes after? The New World is a lot more contested than this side of the Grand Line. And by that time we will all need to choose where our loyalties truly lie.”

You played with the cup in your hands. “I never wanted any of this, you know?” you said quietly, not entirely sure what you were supposed to say to all of this.

He nodded. “I know. And don’t get me wrong, I like you, doc, I really do. But I’ll always look out for him first.” You opened your mouth, but Killer cut you off. “Speaking of, seems like my presence is required. See you around, doc.”

You turned to see Kid waving Killer over. His words kept echoing in your brain while his steps were slowly fading. All your lightheadedness seemed to be washed away. You chewed on your mangosteen while staring into the horizon. What had that been all about? It had almost sounded like the Massacre Soldier was worried about Kid. But even the idea sounded ridiculous. After all, it wasn’t like you posed any kind of threat to a Supernova. 

But you also couldn’t dismiss all of Killer’s arguments. Your alliance with the Kid Pirates or whatever you wanted to call it was only temporary. Alliances between different pirate crews were known to always end up in disaster and this one had been doomed from the beginning, considering how everything had started out. Soon, you would stand on different sides again, chasing after the same goal. Your loyalty had always been with the Lark Pirates and Nikolai, ever since he saved you. You shouldn’t forget that. And for all his good-heartedness, even your Captain didn’t take kindly to someone kidnapping one of his friends. After all, he was still a pirate. And you might have earned Kid’s respect and he even seemed to have taken a liking to you, above all probably to the fact you’d come around to ‘spread your legs for him’”, as he’d put it so charmingly, but the courtesy of his goodwill certainly didn’t extend to your crew.

Any time you’d talk about them Eustass Kid looked like you’d forced him to swallow some bitter medicine, that deep frown appearing between his brows, especially when you mentioned Nikolai’s name. And given the fact that the last time the two men had crossed paths your Captain had ended up with a bullet in his thigh, you doubted his opinion regarding Kid would be any better.

It wasn’t like your crew posed a real threat for the Kid Pirates at the moment anyways, but that didn’t mean it would stay that way. Besides, Eustass Kid wasn’t someone to spare any rivals just because they were weaker. On the contrary. You supposed that it was possible to stay out of each other’s way, but only for so long, since everyone after the One Piece would end up on the same route sooner or later. And by that time we will all need to choose where our loyalties truly lie. You chewed on your lips, your head spinning. What had you been thinking?

“Enjoyin’ the view?” a husky voice in your back asked.

You flinched, almost dropping your cup into the waves crashing against the ship. “You startled me,” you muttered as Kid stepped beside you, his cape brushing your hip.

“Sorry, doll,” he smirked. “I told ya to work on yer defense, someone could sneak up on ya anytime.”

“I didn’t know I needed to keep my guard up here.”

“You should always watch yer back,” Kid rasped, his fingers ghosting over your butt, giving it a slight slap.

“Can’t keep your hands to yourself, hm?”

“I don’t remember ya complainin’ about my hands this morning, doll. Or last night. In fact, I remember ya beggin’ for them, isn’t that right?” A wicked grin split the redhead’s face in half.

This man’s carnal desires were never truly satisfied. It seemed like he couldn’t be bothered thinking about anything else. Perhaps you should just take his example. Life would certainly be easier that way.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said in your most innocent voice, attempting to take another sip of your coffee.

Kid grabbed the cup right out of your hands before you could protest. “Didna know ye were a coffee person,” he murmured, before he brought the cup to his lips. “It’s cold,” he said with a frown, but he kept holding onto it.

“Well, you could have asked, you know,” you replied dryly.

He snorted. “Yeah, not really my style.”

“I know,” you stated simply.

For a few minutes, neither of you spoke a word. You gazed at the horizon together, lost in your own thoughts. Kid drummed his fingers lightly against the railing and for a moment, you were tempted to take his hand, wondering what it would feel like to stand united, looking in the same direction without knowing what the future held. You shook the thought off and the moment passed. No, you couldn’t afford to think that way. It would do no one any good. In the distance, you spotted a flock of birds in a neat formation, flying in the same direction as the ship. Eustass Kid followed your gaze.

You cleared your throat. “How long before we reach the Sabaody Archipelago?” you asked, trying to keep your tone neutral.

Kid glanced at you. “If the wind stays like this, I’d say in four days max.”

“I see.” You sucked on a piece of mangosteen, spitting the pit into the dark waves.

“Lookin’ forward to bein’ reunited with yer crew?”

You gave him a slight nod. “Yes,” you answered. It was honest for the most part. He didn’t need to know that your chest tightened at the thought, because you didn’t even know what it meant yourself. And there was no use in exploring a dead end.

Eustass Kid nodded silently. He put your cup down. “Aight. I’m a man of my word. As soon as we arrive there, you’re free to go. Gotta take care of some more business now, doc.”

He didn’t wait for your response before turning around and making his way to Killer’s cabin. You turned to face the horizon again. Four days. It was true what you had said to Killer. You were still looking forward to your adventure. But it just didn’t seem to have quite the same taste as it had back then, when you’d been sitting in the crow’s nest with Nikolai. What would you even say to him? Hey, remember the maniac that entered our ship, almost killed you and kidnapped me? I kind of slept with him but it’s no big deal. You rubbed your knuckles over your temples. It was probably best to skip over the details, the whole situation was screwed up enough as it was. Four days and this would all be just but a memory. 

Your fingers brushed over the bitemark over your neck before suddenly pulling back. Enough of that. You were probably thinking way too hard about this, at least more than Eustass “Captain” Kid. Sure, at the moment he might like you warming his bed, but you doubted he would dwell over your parting. What mattered was that everyone was still alive and you had fulfilled your promise. All things considered, this was probably the best outcome you could have hoped for. And so what if things had gotten a bit further. Weren’t you allowed to have some fun after all? It was no one’s business but your own. You turned around and made your way back to Kid’s quarters. Perhaps work would be a good distraction.

You occupied yourself with rearranging your materials but that didn’t take a long time. Soon, you had to come to terms with the fact that you had optimized everything as best as possible. Your notes were up to date and you had run out of ingredients to process any further. You strolled around the deck, looking for anyone who was in need of your services but apart from a few bandage changes, there was nothing for you to take care of. Dive told you not without pride that she’d taken care of the injured men while you’d been passed out. You had to admit that she’d done a good job. When you told her as much, she was beaming at you with pride, bombarding you with questions about medicine. She was really growing on you. When duty called for her and she eagerly darted off, you realized that you would actually miss the girl. Kid and Killer were nowhere to be seen and you weren’t in the mood for the jokes of the women. You felt lost, wishing that you could just fast forward the time instead of waiting around for the inevitable.

When the sun started sinking, you joined the Kid Pirates for dinner again. The mood was cheerful, but you could also feel them brimming with anticipation. You knew that feeling. At least, you used to. Kid sat across from you, next to Killer, shooting you suggestive grins and glances from time to time. You tried to return them, but the further the sun sunk, the harder it got. Dive was hanging on every word of her Captain, laughing at every one of his silly jokes that made the men howl and bang their fists on the table, while you were tempted to snort and shake your head. You frowned when you noticed that your chest felt heavy, despite the cheerful atmosphere. While everyone else was laughing and joking, you felt your thoughts drifting away more and more often, suddenly feeling alone in the midst of people. Not even Emma’s and Quincy’s teasing got through to you. The cold night air sent chills down your spine and you weren’t ready to take on that booze again, the mere sight already made you feel dizzy.

Stifling a yawn, you excused yourself and made your way downstairs, feeling Kid’s gaze following you. He had also become quieter throughout the evening, at least for his standards, and you didn't want to bring the mood down with your brooding thoughts. After getting ready for bed, you lay there, staring at the wooden ceiling, until the night stretched out its dark fingers across the room. You tossed and turned, but sleep didn’t come. What had you gotten yourself into? You were warming the bed of the man who had shot your captain and kidnapped you. You shouldn’t forget these things and you hadn’t but they didn’t seem to matter as much as they used to. Were you just a horrible person after all?

After a couple of hours, Kid joined you, his breath smelling of moonshine. You tasted the alcohol on his lips when you slept with him.

“Still think it’s ‘just sex’, doll?” Kid drawled, quoting your words from the first night again while he was thrusting into you. 

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. If his goal had been to change your mind about sex, he’d succeeded. You trembled, the aftershock of your orgasm still present. “Still think it’s ‘not even that good’?” you shot back with his own words, not willing to give in to his teasing and stroke his ego at this moment.

Instead of an answer, the redhead buried himself even deeper inside you with a low grunt, kissing you possessively while riding his own high.

Chapter 11 - Nothin' to be ashamed of

You slowly opened your eyes. Where were you? Beams of fainting sunlight fell through a porthole. You heard the sounds of crashing waves, the creaking of wood. Slowly but surely, it all came back to you. A shiver went down your spine, you realized you were freezing. But something in your back kept you warm. No, not something. Someone. A big arm was slung around your chest. You looked down to see painted nails.

“K–kid?” you croaked.

Eustass Kid almost jumped at his name, crouching in front of you, eyes wide.

“Doll. You’re awake,” he murmured. His voice was a rasp. He cleared his throat. “Took you long enough.”

He had dark circles under his eyes or maybe it was because of his smudged eyeliner. His hair was a mess, his lips pale. You narrowed your eyes, searching for the rage you had felt before you had passed out. But you didn’t find it. You knew in the rational part of your brain that you should loathe the red-haired pirate in front of you, yet his sight somehow made you feel calm.

“Yeah,” you breathed finally. “How long was I out?”

“‘bout two days.”

“Huh.”

“But ye pulled through.”

You snorted weakly, gazing at his pale face. “Don’t tell me you were worried? You look like shit.” 

“Yeah, right,” Eustass Kid scoffed, rubbing his jaw. You had meant it as a joke, but you could see him tense. He took a deep breath as if he was preparing for a difficult task. “You’re okay?”

That was new. You nodded. “I think so, yes.”

You still felt dizzy and incredibly weak, but you were sure that the fever had gone down and the throbbing pain in your arm had stilled.

“I’ll let ya rest then,” Kid murmured.

The words flew out before you could stop them. “You can stay. If—you want to.” You swallowed hard. Maybe it was the aftereffects of the fever speaking. Maybe you were still hallucinating. But at this moment, you didn’t want him to go, didn’t want the warmth and safety to fade.

Kid looked at you with that odd expression that almost made you regret your words. But he lay down again.

“I’m cold,” you whispered.

You were pulled back into the pirate’s arms, his breath ghosting over your neck.

For a few minutes, your shared breathing was all you could hear. You felt that the mood had shifted. Something was different. At least Eustass Kid embracing you didn’t feel weird. On the contrary. Perhaps that alone should’ve worried you. You peaked at the arm that was wrapped around you and your mouth went dry. It was littered with bloody scratches and a prominent bitemark.

Your fingers ghosted over it, embarrassment pulsing through you upon the realization. “Did I do that?” you asked quietly.

“Huh? Ah, yes, think ya snapped at one point, ye were pretty out of it,” Kid grunted. He made it sound like it wasn’t a big deal.

Heat creeped over your cheeks and this time it wasn’t from a fever, your imagination running wild. “So… did I say anything while I was asleep?” you asked, holding your breath.

Eustass Kid didn’t answer immediately, as if he was weighing his answer. “Yeah,” he finally admitted.

Your heart started beating faster. You were almost sure you didn’t want to hear the answer but you still had to ask. “What—did I say?”

The redhead shifted and let out another grunt. “Didna understand half the stuff ye were sayin’ anyways.”

His breath on your skin left a trail of goosebumps behind. You didn’t reply, just waited for him to continue.

“First you seemed to be in pain, screamin’ yer fuckin’ lungs out. Sounded like ye were in a fight of sorts. Burnin’ up so bad I thought it had fried yer brain.” He hesitated briefly, before continuing again. “Day two, you suddenly started shakin’, yer body going cold.” He stopped again, mumbling the last words into your hair. “And then ye called my name.”

You felt a chill run down your spine, tensing under Kid’s arm. It was bad enough that you’d hallucinated about him. You didn’t want to know what it meant that your subconscious had decided to call out for this man in your most vulnerable state, didn’t want to know how pathetic it must have sounded. You felt more exposed than during your night together, waited for the mockery that would surely come, him gloating about your slip-up. Only that it didn’t.

“Must have been a real nightmare, huh?” Kid huffed, voice strained, something raw buried under an provocative edge, as if he was challenging you to contradict his words.

You gave a choked laugh. “You could say that.” You should just leave it at that, you should keep your mouth shut, you should—”But not all of it.” You bit your tongue, didn’t want to keep talking but the words were spilling out anyways. “I saw you, heard you calling out to me. You pulled me back.”

Your heart was beating so fast now, it nearly made you sick. But yours wasn’t the only one. You could feel Kid’s heart beating against your back hard, heat seemed to emerge where skin met skin, but he didn’t say a word.

Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum. The silence stretched out until all that was left was the noise of blood hotly rushing through your ears and the thunderous thumps of your heart, threatening to bury you until you couldn’t take it anymore and blurted out, “So all it takes for you to cuddle with me is me almost dying? That’s kind of sick, even for you.”

“Doll,” Kid groaned against your neck, yet he pulled himself closer to you. He took a deep breath. “‘m glad.”

And for some reason, that was enough. You felt yourself dozing off again, feeling more comfortable than you had in days. Lulled in by the movement of the waves and strong arms around you. You were woken up by the warmth behind you fading. Turning around, you saw Eustass Kid getting out of the bed.

“Where are you going?” you asked, still hazy.

“Gonna get ya somethin’ to eat.”

You looked at him, brows furrowed. He also looked like he could use some food, you thought. “Okay,” you said quietly.

The redhead closed the door behind him and you stretched, letting out a deep yawn. The kind that cracked your neck and made your whole body tense before sweet relief washed over you. The nap had given you back a bit of energy. You knew you were still weak with your body battling the aftermath of the infection, but you felt strong enough to get up and go to the toilet. Because the alternative was asking Eustass Kid for help with that and that wasn’t going to happen. Groaning, you pulled yourself up and sat on the edge of the bed. On the nightstand you saw the flask with the clover on it. It was almost empty.

You looked around the room and blinked. It was a mess. Clothes, tools and maps lay scattered around the floor. One of the chairs was merely a pile of splintered wood. It looked like a hurricane had raged through the room. And you were pretty sure you knew his name. You shook your head as if you wanted to physically shake your delusional thoughts off you. He surely didn’t like it when things were beyond his control. Still, you felt strangely touched by the sight of the chaos that could only be interpreted as the actions of someone feeling helpless.

As soon as you got up, the dizziness returned. You clenched your teeth and limped to the bathroom on wobbly legs. By the time you had reached it, you were drenched in sweat.

When you finally lay down on the bed again, you were panting. The door flew open, revealing the massive figure of Eustass Kid. He dropped the tray with food on the nightstand and glanced at you, taking in your flushed face. “What happened, did the fever return?”

You were too tired to lie. “No, I just got up.”

“What?” His sharp voice cut through the air like a whip.

“I needed to take a piss, okay?” you shot back, feeling cornered. “What would you have me do, wait for you to come back and carry me to the toilet?”

“Nothin’ that I haven’t seen before, doc,” Kid snarled, glaring at you.

For a few seconds, you were just exchanging angry glares, before he lifted a bowl with soup and a spoon up to your face. “Eat.”

“I don’t need you to feed me,” you protested.

“Open up, or I’ll make ya,” Kid said.

You felt too weak to complain further, so you just did as he asked. It was such an absurd situation, you thought. Who on the Grand Line would believe you when you’d tell them that Eustass “Captain” Kid had spoon-fed you? You couldn’t help but chuckle against the broth, causing the liquid to part under your breath.

“What’s so fuckin’ funny?”

You shook your head. “Better ask me what’s not funny about this.”

The pirate captain just grunted, but you could see a slight smirk raising the corners of his mouth.

The soup was warm, hearty and so stuffed with flavor that you thought it might have been the tastiest dish you’d ever had.

“Did you get a new cook? This is friggin’ amazing,” you asked between bites.

Kid slightly arched his shaved brows. “You noticed. Should tell Kil.”

Your eyes flew open. “Don’t tell me he’s your cook?”

“Sure is. This chicken noodle soup with cabbage is one of his signatures.”

The thought of the Massacre Soldier standing in the kitchen, hacking cabbage with his blades almost made you chuckle again. Would the surprises on this ship ever stop?

Kid made you finish the whole bowl of soup. You sighed, feeling part of your strength returning. You’d probably lost a lot of salt with all the sweating. A sticky strand of hair fell into your face. You twirled it around your finger.

“You know, I think I could really do with a bath,” you said, wrinkling your nose.

Eustass Kid smirked. “I won’t argue with that doll, ya smell like dead rat.”

“Hey,” you called out, bumping your fist weakly against his chest.

“Not that I mind.”

“Nah, bet that’s right down your alley,” you shot back.

“Freak.”

“Idiot.”

You stared at each other, sitting in midst of chaos, greasy hair, smudged make-up, Eustass Kid still with the spoon in his hand. You felt your lips twitching and observed his doing the same. It didn’t take long until you burst out laughing together, the absurdity of the situation reaching its peak only to come tumbling down the other side. You felt like all the tension you had carried inside you was flowing out, being washed away and for once you had no desire to try and hold it back.

You took a few wheezing breaths, needing multiple attempts to calm yourself before you could utter a straight sentence again. “So, you’ll carry me to the bathtub now?” you asked sheepishly, wiping the corners of your eyes.

The frown on Kid’s face had vanished, replaced with a sort of wary smugness. “Depends, does that mean I get to see ya naked?” he asked, a lazy grin playing over his lips.

You returned it, neither able nor willing to dodge the jolt of electricity that hit you upon the sight of that damned smile. It was infectious, all consuming. You realized that you had missed it.

You stuck out your tongue, feeling lightheaded. “I guess you’ll have to find out.”

The redhead didn’t waste any time in carrying you over to the bathroom, helping you out of your underwear. After undressing himself, he sat behind you in the tub while steaming hot water pattered on your skin, making him curse.

“Perfect,” you groaned, leaning back against his chest after the water almost spilled over the edge of the bathtub.

Kid grunted something and nuzzled his chin on your neck while you splashed with your hands in the water.

“Close yer eyes,” he murmured.

“Why?”

“‘cause—”he snapped and broke off. “Gonna wash yer hair, ‘s what ya wanted, no?” he muttered.

There were a million things that lay on your tongue at that moment. But if you were being honest, only one thing you wanted. “Okay,” you said quietly, closing your eyes.

You felt how Kid drizzled something on your scalp, spreading it out, before thick fingers dug through your hair, massaging it in.

Holy shit. You bit your lip to stifle a moan while fingernails scraped over your scalp with just the right amount of pressure. And you were melting. If you had been a cat, you’d have started to purr. But since you weren’t, your body decided for an involuntary sound that might have been the most undignified whimper to ever leave your body.

Kid released a raspy chuckle that was dripping with smugness. “Good, huh?”

It was an understatement in every sense of the word. You felt like your thoughts were squeezed out of your brain in the most delicious way, leaving you to float in fluffy clouds of peace and comfort. You were in heaven and the devil had invaded it to lure you into hell with a massage. And you were too weak to resist the temptation.

“Ah-hu,” was all you managed to say, not even trying to keep your composure.

You were pretty sure that if Eustass Kid wanted to, he could make you confess to your deepest and darkest secrets in this state. Damn him. Perhaps he should have tried that from the beginning instead of spitting threats. When he finally poured water over your head to wash away the soapy mess, you almost mewled with disappointment.

“You’re really easy to please, ya know that?” Kid rasped in your ear.

You snorted, your thoughts starting to clear again. “And what would you know about that?” You hadn’t forgotten about the last time you’d been sitting in that tub together.

That shut him up. Served him right.

You sat there a few minutes in silence before the pirate cleared his throat. “So what’s the deal with these nightmares?”

Your breath hitched briefly. You hadn’t expected this. “Do you really want to know?”

“Wouldna ask otherwise.”

You hummed, contemplating where to start. It wasn’t something you were usually keen on sharing. But for some reason, you didn’t even hesitate. Probably the aftereffects of that infuriatingly perfect scalp massage. “Did you know that Gold Roger was rumored to have a child?”

From the way Kid’s breathing stilled for a moment, you sensed that he hadn’t seen that one coming. “Kinda, I mean there’ve always been rumors about his lineage. But that could all be a pile of horseshit. Far as I know, government fucks got rid of everyone related to him after his execution.”

“Yes, that’s about all there is to know,” you agreed. “Just that—”you gritted your teeth—”it’s a little more personal for me.” Kid didn’t say anything, just silently playing with your hair, so you continued. “I don’t know how they got the hunch but the government was set on the belief that Roger got a woman pregnant right before him getting captured. And they were so afraid of a child that hadn’t even been born yet that they decided to make sure it stayed that way. I have no idea why, but some day, marines ended up in our village, claiming they were on an important mission that required them to see every woman that was pregnant at the time. One of them was my mother, she was the herbalist of our village.”

“Shit,” Eustass Kid let out a muffled curse.

You couldn’t have agreed more. “I think at first, no one really knew what was going on. I was too little to understand anyways. But somehow, word got out that they were looking for the woman that was carrying the child of the King of the Pirates. The day they took my mother away, they promised to send her back as soon as they made sure that the child she was pregnant with wasn’t Rogers.” You clenched your fists until your knuckles went white. “I didn’t understand why my father was crying at that moment, because I thought she would be back with us soon. I didn’t even understand why I was crying, why it felt like saying goodbye.”

You felt Kid’s hand brushing over yours. “Lemme guess, fuckin’ marine scum never intended to let the women walk.”

You released a bitter laugh. “Of course not. There was no way they could make sure if Gold Roger was the father of these unborn children or not. So they just killed them all.”

“That is some sick shit. Typical for these scumbags,” Eustass Kid said in a low voice.

You nodded weakly. “My father didn’t take it well. He killed himself with a poison from my mother’s store and burned down our house, though I don’t know if the last part was an accident or not.”

“Fuck, doll, that’s quite the sob story,” Kid rasped.

“Yeah, right?” you said, somehow glad you didn’t hear pity in his voice.

Too many people confused empathy with pity, whereas the latter usually made you feel as if you were responsible for managing their emotions as well. And Kid was just there, a calming presence in your back, a strange contradiction to his usual demeanor. It felt surprisingly easy to talk to him, the words flowing out of you more freely.

“The marines came back. I think their orders changed and they decided that they couldn’t take any risks, didn’t want to leave any loose ends. But a marine officer took pity on me. He had kind eyes.”

You were lost in thought for a moment. A lot of that time was a blur. Sometimes you weren’t even sure if you could remember the faces of your parents anymore. But these brown, gentle eyes were the one detail that had always remained crystal clear in the midst of it all.

“He took me with him. I don’t know what he intended to do with me, maybe take me to an orphanage. Looking back, I don’t think he wanted to hurt me, but I was confused and scared and I blamed everyone in a marine uniform for losing my parents.” You cleared your throat, the fuzzy images whirling around inside your brain creating a tornado of memories you’d never been able to shake off you completely. “I never found out more. Because I killed him. At least that’s what I think. I waited until he was asleep and stabbed him with his own knife. And then I ran.”

“Damn,” Kid whistled. “No wonder you’re such a freak.” There wasn’t any judgement in his voice.

“Probably,” you said dryly. “After that I found out that most men aren’t nice, even if you’re just a little girl.” You felt Kid tense under you. “I was never—it never came to that, but let’s just say I was better off disguising myself as a boy. I managed to come through for a while by begging for coins. After some time I turned to stealing. One day I stole the purse of an old man who had been dozing off leaning against a wall. At least that’s what I thought. Maybe I could have gotten away, but he had a book about herbs peaking out of his bag. What can I say, I was a nosey little shit.”

The red-haired pirate let out a snort. “Think it’s safe to say ye still are.”

You glanced over your shoulder, a smile ghosting over your lips. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Anyway, when I tried grabbing the book, he opened his eyes, took one look at me and asked me what I found so interesting about that book. I was too scared to speak, expecting a beating or him calling the authorities. Instead he took me with him after hearing that I didn’t have anyone.”

“Sounds like a nice old grandpa.”

“Nah, he was an old grumpy bastard. Always hit me on the head with his cane when I got a question about toxins wrong,” you said, a grin spreading over your face. “It didn’t hurt much though, the old man was thin like a sack of bones, always forgetting to eat when he was focused on his work.”

“So ye were pretty fond of him.”

“Of course I was. He was more like a father to me than anyone else. Taught me everything I know about medicine and poisons. But for how brilliant he could be, he was also a big fool in equal parts, too stubborn for his own good. In the village he was known as the Raven.”

“Dunno who he reminds me of,” Kid said. You could feel the smirk on your neck. “Wait.” His fingers found your nipples, giving them a pinch that made you hiss in response. “Birds of medicine my ass,” he rasped.

You were about to complain when you remembered him asking about your nickname before and you holding back certain details. Point taken.

Your voice was indifferent when you continued. “Well, in the end his stubbornness was what got him killed. He had one rule. As a doctor, he told me over and over again, we don’t distinguish between a nobleman and a criminal. For us, they are all patients. And he lived by that. Someday, a bunch of marines barged in, claiming that he was conspiring with pirates. He didn’t deny that he had treated them, refusing to stand down or admitting that he did anything wrong. Things got heated and he got shot. I was knocked unconscious. At the time I got up, there was nothing I could do to save his life, though I don’t know if it would have made a difference. I swore to myself at that moment to uphold his memory and that I would never let a patient of mine die if I could help it.”

Eustass Kid brushed his fingertips over your collarbones. “I see.”

You took a deep breath, preparing for the part you dreaded the most. “The thing is, as a doctor, I want to save as many lives as I can. As a pirate, I want to gut every last marine on the Grand Line.” It was the first time you’ve said that out aloud, the words echoing in your brain. Hearing yourself say it made it sound even more horrible than thinking it.

“I don’t think there’s anythin’ wrong with that, doll,” Kid said quietly.

You gave a clipped laugh. “You may be the only one thinking that.” You cleared your throat, determined to finish your story without crying. “I could have taken over his legacy, you know. Some part of me thinks that’s what the old man had in mind for me all this time, since he didn’t have children of his own. But I just fucked everything up, as usual. I was so filled with rage, I pretty much got into fights with every marine I saw. And most of the time I lost.”

Kid rubbed his hands over his face. “One could think you’d learn yer lesson some day.”

“Yeah, not going to happen I think,” you chuckled. Why did it all feel suddenly so easy to talk about?

His fingers ghosted over your arms. “So that’s why yer arms and legs look like a battlefield of scars?”

You scoffed. “Nah, that’s from experiments.” Most of the time you didn’t even notice them anymore. They didn’t bother you, most of them faded anyway, but you were kind of surprised Eustass Kid had paid such close attention.

“Shit, ye were experimented on?”

“I experimented on myself,” you clarified, amused at the sharp breath Kid sucked in behind you.

“The fuck?”

“My old master didn’t want to let me experiment on patients with my new creations and there is only so much you can test on skins of dead animals. And in order to refine an antidote for example, I needed to poison myself first. In safe doses, of course.”

Eustass Kid gripped your shoulders. “Of course, fuckin’ freak,” he snorted.

You grinned. “At least I built up a lot of resistance over the years—which also made experimenting on myself harder.” When you felt the redhead tense again, you hastily continued. “Anyways, so when I was at my lowest point, a couple of years after the old man had died, the Lark Pirates made a stop in our harbor.”

Kid stilled in his movements. “I see. So he saved you.”

“Yes, he did. He saved us all, gave us a common cause.” You shrugged, trying to push the feeling of unease down that started to spread through you. As if you were awaiting the final judgement now. “So that about sums it up. Do you think I’m messed up now?”

“I already did before hearing yer story. You seriously got some screws loose.”

“Coming from you, that means something,” you snorted.

Kid snickered, “That’s right, I should know. But ya see, the world is a fucked up place. The world government is nothin’ but a bunch of scumbags, rotten to the core. Marines are just pirates in boring uniforms with a twisted sense of self righteousness. When scum like that are the ones writing the rules, it creates more scum. To survive in this shithole, ya have to be fucked up yerself. You won’t change how things are, so there’s no use in second guessing. At least we are as endearing as we are mean.” You could almost taste the wicked smirk that accompanied his words.

You hummed, your heart beating faster. “So you don’t think I’m—broken?”

That was the question you asked yourself over and over again. And until today, you hadn’t dared asking anyone else. Every time you’d tried opening up about your past, the reactions had always been the same: Pity, horror, disgust. You had always felt like a burden to other people when you’d tried to share your story, as they seemed to suffer more from hearing it than you did from your experiences. As soon as you had seen the tears in their eyes, your heart had started aching, feeling even more broken than before. So you had just stopped or brushed over it with jokes. Only Nikolai knew your whole story and even with him you hadn’t shared all the gory details. When you had first told him, he had been kind and understanding, but you could see how it broke his gentle heart. It had made you feel like you had tainted his pure soul, as if you were a poison, only safe to consume in tiny doses.

Kid pulled you closer, breathing into your ear. “Listen, doll. So ya got a few screws loose. To hell with that. Doesn’t mean you’re broken, not really. Even if ya break somethin’, you can always mold it into something else. And lemme tell ya, when I saw ya kneeling over the body of that marine guy, screamin’ bloody murder, it was the hottest shit. You got nothin’ to be ashamed of.”

Your core clenched together painfully as you let out a silent sob, feeling overcome with an emotion you couldn’t quite grasp. Was that the same man that had threatened to kill you, the one you’d been so convinced had nothing to offer beyond his reputation? You’d known for some time that it wasn’t true. But still it was only in this moment that you truly came to accept it. “Thank you,” you whispered.

“‘Nough of that,” Eustass Kid murmured, turning you around until you faced him. He brushed a wet strand of hair off your face, a question in his eyes to which the answer was mirrored in yours. Firm lips brushed over yours, calloused hands around your scalp pulling you closer. A dance of tongues, exchanged breaths that turned into moans. Your hands found the way into his crimson waves, damp and messy. You really loved his hair. Little sparks of heat were ignited all over your body, left behind on every inch of skin his fingers touched.

Kid broke the kiss, slightly panting, face flushed. “I got about ten seconds to get out of this tub before I start losin’ my shit.”

“I think it’s a little late for that, Captain,” you teased, feeling something hard press against your leg.

The redhead groaned, burying his face in your neck, yet he didn’t make a move to push you off him. Heat simmered between you, aching to be fueled.

“Unless, you don’t want to?”

He twitched at that. “I want ya bad, doll, but you’re still weak.”

You smirked at him, reveling in the fact that this mountain of a man seemed to melt under your touch. “I’m a big girl. And I want you too, Kid.”

With a growl, Kid picked you up and carried you back to the bed, laying you down with so much care that seemed impossible for his rough hands. The sheets were instantly damp from the pearls of water running down your bodies, but neither of you seemed to even notice. You felt like a teenager again, just grinding flesh over flesh, kissing until you were breathless, lips swollen. Kid’s crooked nose pressed against your forehead, hot breath washing over you.

“Don’t tell me you’re exhausted already?” you grinned

Eustass Kid grabbed your chin, a wicked sparkle in his eyes. “That fuckin’ smart mouth again. Dontcha worry, I’ll make ya eat yer words soon enough.” He trailed his finger along your lips, down your neck and in between your breasts, his dark painted nails a contrast to his fair skin. Your body looked so small under his big hands and the sight made you bite your lower lip. You couldn’t wait any longer and decided that you didn’t want to. You had waited long enough. And as far as you were concerned, he still owed you an apology after that last time. So he could as well apologize with his body. You wiggled under him, arching your back.

Kid picked up on it of course, that infuriatingly cocky grin splitting his face in half. “Needy, huh?”

But he didn’t waste any more time before going down on you, making you cry out. Perhaps it really was an apology after all.

“Please,” you whined, already so sensitive again for him.

“Yes, doll?” Kid breathed against your folds.

“No teasing tonight.”

You could feel him smirk against you. “But I like it when ya beg and sing yer sweet song for me.”

“I—” you started to say, but a thick finger entering you cut you off.

The finger was slowly dipping into you while Kid’s tongue kept on circling around your clit. You leaned back into the pillow, your hands grabbing the sheets. Gentle licks up and down your slit sent your pussy throbbing.

“More, please,” you whimpered.

A second finger was added, slightly spreading you open. Kid flattened his tongue, pressing his face deeper into your sensitive flesh.

There were a lot of things that you could say about Kid. But he wasn’t a selfish lover, on the contrary, you could tell from the lewd noises how much he was enjoying this. And it made it so much hotter. There was nothing humble about this man, no matter what he did, he did it with full determination. And still it felt like he was holding back tonight, as if he was afraid you were gonna break under his big hands. It irritated you, made it harder to bridge the gap between now and what had been, giving room to questions you didn’t want to raise. Because there was no confusion about what this was. It just had been easier to remember that before.

“I can tell you’re going easy on me,” you panted.

“Yeah? And whatcha gonna do ‘bout it?” Eustass Kid asked. His second hand pressed down on your belly to stop you from squirming, but it also intensified the friction of his fingers inside you.

“F—fuck,” you gasped.

“You’re not in charge here, so if I wanna take my time eating out that sweet pussy, I will.” His tongue ghosted painfully slow up and down your slit, carefully avoiding your throbbing bundles of nerves. “If I wanna finger ya until yer needy cunt is twitchin’, I will.” He underlined his words by slowly pumping his fingers back and forth.

You let out a breathy moan, feeling yourself getting closer only by listening to his voice that was vibrating through your whole body. You lifted your gaze to see his big head between your legs, completely immersed in the task at hand. You’d miss this.

“What is it, doll?” Kid hummed into you, as if he’d sensed your gaze upon him.

“Close,” you breathed, your legs trembling in anticipation.

A snicker against your center. “I know, can feel ya clenchin’ around me, you little slut.”

A jolt of electricity through your body. “Please.”

“Who’s in charge?”

Your resistance melted like your thoughts when amber eyes bore into yours, the tip of a tongue teasing your clit with skilled licks.

“You—hu are,” you whimpered.

Kid shot you a satisfied look. “Damn right I am. So come for me, doll.” He curled his fingers inside you, his mouth devouring every inch of you. 

You clenched around his fingers, feeling your orgasm overwhelm you. Kid slowed down, but didn’t retreat, lengthening your climax with gentle movements and licks, until your body was twitching and you were begging him to stop.

“Already? Thought ye were a big girl?” he snickered, obviously pleased with himself.

“You’re such a smug bastard,” you said when he crawled on top of you.

“Yeah, a smug bastard who just made ya come on his tongue and fingers. And who’s about to shove his dick inside yer sweet cunt to make ya fall apart once more,” Eustass Kid smirked.

You bit your lip to hold in the whimper threatening to escape you, already feeling your pussy throbbing again. He teased your slick entrance with his tip, causing you to grab his hips, trying to pull him closer.

“So eager for my cock again?” Kid asked, his eyes glistening, voice thick with amusement and desire.

But two people could play this game. You let your hands wander over marble skin, flushed with patches of red, his neck where you could feel his thundering pulse, stopping at his chest to roll pink nipples between your fingers. They stiffened instantly, a shiver running down his spine. So sensitive.

You flashed him an inviting smile, grinding your wetness against him, lifting your head to whisper in his ear. “What can I say, it’s a nice cock. Can’t wait to feel you inside me again.”

The red-haired pirate groaned at your words, seemingly unable to resist what was offered to him. Slowly, inch by inch, he eased his whole length inside you, making you both release a sharp hiss upon the intrusion before your bodies adapted to the sensation. “Fuck, doll,” he breathed, as he started thrusting into you.

Your hands found big shoulders to hold onto while your walls were being stretched so good. You whimpered, overwhelmed by the feeling of being so full, and also of being so close to Eustass Kid. You locked eyes for a moment, connected by lust but also by something deeper, something so fragile you felt it would break as soon as you’d take one wrong step. Or as soon as you’d speak or even think of it, as if the simple act of that would tear it from the safe haven of blissful ignorance, conjuring it into something real, something that could be attacked and shattered. The moment was so intense, you felt dizzy, feeling yourself clench around his cock.

“Kid,” you moaned, the name rolling off your tongue like a prayer.

“Yes?” he panted.

His pupils were dilated, you could feel his heart beating fast. He was close too.

“I want to feel you cum inside me,” you breathed.

Kid still managed to smirk at your words. “Makin’ demands again? I’ll be merciful while you’re not fully rested, but don’t get used to it,” he rasped.

He pulled you closer, his lips pressing onto yours, while he picked up the pace of his thrusts. For a moment, you were one. Everything connected, your breathing, your moans, and moments after, your climax.

You lay there, chests rising and falling, no words needed for the things you were feeling at that moment. After some time, you felt Kid softening inside you. He pulled out, causing you to shudder and some cum leaking out.

You turned to face the red-haired pirate, suddenly being reminded of how it had ended the last time after you had sex. You felt your breath hitch, an ugly feeling creeping over your skin. Big hands cupped your face, amber eyes bore into yours, before Kid captured your lips in a kiss that left no room for any more thoughts. Fingers wandered over your back, rubbing soothing circles over your skin, brushing through your still damp hair. You felt yourself relaxing against his big chest, a smile playing over your face. At the same time, you felt completely exhausted, your eyelids growing heavy.

“You’re okay, doll?” Eustass Kid asked.

You hummed. “Yes, just tired.”

Chapter 10 - Come back with me

You weren’t sure what had woken you up. Maybe it had been the pearls of sweat running down your face or the throbbing pain in your right arm. Or maybe it had been the painful grip on your shoulders and the annoyingly demanding voice that kept telling you to open your eyes. It prodded through your fuzzy brain, tearing away the last fragments of sleep that you’d tried to hold onto with dwindling strength. You felt dizzy and disoriented and someone shaking your whole body didn’t help with the uncomfortable feeling at all.

“S-stop,” you said, your voice slurred.

The shaking stopped but the hands didn’t leave your shoulders, fingers digging into your skin. “Fuckin’ talk to me!”

You slowly opened your eyes, your vision blurry. Dancing lights in front of you. “So hot,” you groaned.

A hand against your forehead. “Shit, you’re burnin’ up.”

You blinked, your vision somewhat clearing. The first thing you saw was red hair. Red. Burning. “Water,” you croaked.

The hands left you. Something cold was pressed against your lips. A glass of water. You opened your mouth, but after two sips, you started coughing.

“S—slow down,” you sputtered.

You were suddenly pulled upwards. Before you could complain, your back met the wall. The glass was pressed against your lips once again. It was easier to drink while sitting. After what felt like an eternity, you had managed to drink up and felt the dizziness slightly fading. You looked up and almost flinched. Eustass “Captain” Kid was sitting in front of you, wearing a grim expression.

“Kid,” you said. You tasted the word on your tongue. It felt wrong. You furrowed your brows. Then you remembered. “Shit,” you spat.

“What is it?” Eustass Kid asked, voice irritated.

“You,” you just said.

“What’s up with you?” Kid asked, putting emphasis on the last word.

You chewed on your lip. That hurt. Something wasn’t right. You leaned your head back against the wall, trying to get a grasp of things. What happened? Images whirled around in your head, blurring together like colorful liquids in a flask. The attack. Marines. You had been shot, but the bullet had only grazed you. You’d taken a few punches to the head. Concussion maybe? Sun exposure. Heatstroke?

The red-haired pirate grabbed your shoulders again. “Spit it out!”

“Ouch, my arm,” you winced, glaring at him. What was wrong with him? No wait, that was it. “My arm!” you exclaimed.

You tried to pull the bandage down, but your hand was trembling too much. Fuck, you felt so weak. Strong fingers brushed back your hand, ripping the bandage off your arm.

“Shit, careful,” you whined.

Looking down, you found your assumption confirmed. The wound was showing signs of infection, pus oozing around the angry red borders. The arm was swollen, meaning the infection probably ran deep.

“Fuck,” you murmured.

“So?” Kid’s voice was brimming with impatience.

“It’s infected.”

“No shit, doc. What do we do about it?”

You blinked. “We? What do you care? Killer’s safe. I got this, I’m a doctor.” Talking was exhausting, but the anger deep inside you fueled you.

You flinched when Kid’s fist hit the wall next to your head, cursing something like “fuckin’ hell”. “Listen, doc.” He took a deep breath as if he needed to calm himself. “Remember your promise? You owe me. My ship, my rules. So here’s an order: The next thing that comes out of yer mouth better be about what ya need to get that arm fixed. After that, our deal’s done.”

You stared at him. What was he so angry about again? He didn’t have a right to be angry. You closed your eyes. Pull yourself together. It didn’t matter anymore. The only thing that mattered was you getting off this ship as soon as possible, preferably with both your arms.

You opened your eyes again. “My satchel,” you said. “And the small brown bottle with the clover on it.”

The pirate captain started rummaging through your stuff, seemingly not caring what he knocked down in the process. At least he was fast.

Upon him returning, you briefly contemplated your sanity again, but you could barely sit upright. “Disinfect the scalpel and cut the wound open.”

“What?” His mouth hung slightly open, as if he couldn’t believe your words.

Under different circumstances, it would have been funny. Maybe the infection had also affected your brain. “You need to drain it and I need to see the underlying tissue.”

Kid cursed under his breath but did as you asked.

You groaned when he made the first cut, cursing the day you’d set foot on this damn ship. “Deeper. Don’t be such a pussy now. Fuck.” You winced when he followed your words.

The inflamed flesh was so sensitive that even the slightest touch hurt like hell. But you could feel some pressure releasing, as the pus was drained through the cut. Eustass Kid used a towel to wipe it off, suddenly stilling in his movement.

“I feel somethin’.”

“Me too. Pain,” you replied through clenched teeth. What had you done to deserve this?

“You said a bullet grazed ya?”

“Hmh.”

“Seems like a splinter is still inside.”

“Great,” you said dryly.

Before your inner eye, you saw Eustass “Captain” Kid probing around with the tweezers in your inflamed wound. Maybe you would finally pass out from the pain then. Perhaps this was the moment to call for Dive if you’d any sense of self-preservation left.

A sudden sting made you hiss. “What the—”

“Told ya.” In the palm of his hand, Kid held the smallest splinter of a projectile. “Bullet was coated in iron.”

“You have Devil Fruit powers,” you said as if Eustass Kid had just revealed them for the first time.

The red-haired captain eyed you as if he didn’t know if he should choke you or rip your head off. He decided for an angry glare. “What now?”

You eyed the wound again. As you had expected, the infected tissue had started to spread under the first layer of skin. There was only one way to stop it. Damn it. “You see the part in the center of the wound that has a different color than the surrounding area?”

Kid nodded.

“You need to cut it out.”

The pirate clenched his teeth, a rare emotion flickering over his face: He was hesitating.

“Just fucking do it,” you hissed, on the bridge of tears. You hated this, being at his mercy, being a helpless mess. And you didn’t have the nerve to talk him through it while you were barely holding it together yourself.

Thankfully, you didn’t have to, because whatever it was, Eustass Kid shook it off. The first cut sent you panting, after a minute you couldn’t hold back the cries anymore that were spilling out of your mouth. You bit down on your tongue to muffle the sounds, wishing with every fiber in your body for the pain to end. If not for some remaining sense of pride, you’d probably begged Eustass Kid to stop. But you weren’t even sure if you’d be able to utter words in this state.

Kid’s expression had turned to grim determination, not paying your pained sounds any mind. He only gripped your arm harder every time you cried out to keep you from squirming. With the next cut, your hands flew instinctively against the first thing they could grab. It was the arm Kid used for stabilization. You dug your nails in, not caring anymore about anything other than the hot, burning pain that made your whole body shake.

After what felt like an eternity, you faintly noticed that the redhead disinfected the wound. Through teary eyes you looked down at the wound. It was bleeding, but the infected tissue was gone. You finally let go of his arm, seeing your nails had left deep, bloody marks. He didn’t comment on it. As Kid was about to bandage the wound, you stopped him by tearing at his arm.

“The salve,” you rasped.

After Eustass Kid had applied your paste of yellowdot mushrooms and every stroke had made you wince, he bandaged the wound. It wasn’t as neat as you’d liked and he wasted way too much bandaging material, almost covering your whole arm, but it would do.

“What about this?” Kid asked, pointing to the flask with the clover on the label.

“Four drops every four hours. Fights the infection from within,” you panted. Drops of sweat were running down your forehead. Whether they stemmed from the fever or the exhaustion, you couldn’t say.

You tried to grab the bottle, but the pirate just pushed you down onto the mattress again. Despite your complaints, Kid forced you to open your mouth and swallow the medicine.

You felt the exhaustion creep back into your bones with full force. “Need to rest now,” you whispered.

The last thing you noticed was the blanket that got pulled over you. Then everything went dark.

*

KID POV

Eustass Kid sat at his workbench, fidgeting with his knife. Tapping his finger against the blade, he frowned. This wasn’t gonna do it, it was almost dull. He rummaged through his drawers until he found his whetstone, grinding the knife over it with more force than necessary.

It was quiet apart from the sounds when metal met stone. She was quiet too. For once. Kid briefly glanced at her sleeping figure. He should relish the peace and quiet as long as he could. It would be over as soon as she’d wake up again. Which she would, she was way too stubborn not to. And then she’d be right back getting on his nerves.

“Shit,” he cursed, looking down. Tiny droplets of blood emerged on the surface of his thumb. He had allowed himself to get distracted. Again. Even when she was sleeping she was still a pain in the ass. Besides, his whole workbench was practically covered in her stuff, leaving no room for his work. What was that doc thinking anyway, acting like she owned the place?

Kid gripped the hilt of the knife until his knuckles turned white. It was his fault. He had let her run wild. He should have put her in her place. Damn it. He just should have kept her chained to his post. It was his fault that—

“Fuck this,” he spat, banging his fist on the table. If anyone was to blame, it was her. All that smartass attitude and then she couldn’t count to six? Idiot. Served her right for pretending that she cared. As if she gave a damn if Killer lived or died. As if she gave a damn about any of them. As if she gave a damn about him. He dropped the knife on the table.

She didn’t care and neither did he. She had made it clear that she was desperate to leave. And she would, one way or another. Killer was fine, the deal was done. He should focus on their journey ahead. Without even noticing, Kid had gotten up, pacing up and down his room. He should just go, get some breakfast. Instead, he sat down at his table, looking at a map. It took him several minutes to realize he was just staring without comprehending a single thing. It was like his gaze was glued to his bed. To her.

A knock on the door startled him. “Kid?”

“It’s open,” he grunted.

The Massacre Soldier entered. “You’re busy?”

“Just going over our route.”

“Again? Did something change?”

“Nah, just makin’ sure.”

Killer hummed, putting a plate with an assortment of sandwiches and pastries down on the table. “You missed breakfast.”

“Huh.”

“You never miss breakfast.”

Kid clenched his teeth. What kind of interrogation was this? “Seems like I just did, what’s yer point?”

“Everything alright?”

“Just peachy,” Kid replied absently, drumming his fingers on the table.

“What about the doc, she’s still asleep?”

Kid jerked his head up. “Fuckin’ fine, just got a bit of a fever.”

“When did that happen?”

With every question, Kid felt closer to explode, the familiar hot rage bubbling inside his chest. For as long as he could remember, it had always been there, simmering, waiting for him to lower the walls that contained it, ready to consume him when he took one wrong step. “Dunno, this morning?”

Killer approached the bed, observing the sleeping woman. “She’s burning up.”

“I took care of it.”

“How?”

“Fuck, what’s with all the questions? A splinter of a bullet was still inside her arm, I took it out, gave her some medicine she wanted. It won’t kill her, okay?”

The blonde pirate sat down in front of his captain. “She looks pretty roughed up.”

“The fuck’s that supposed to mean. She’ll pull through.”

The silence that followed aggravated Kid more than anything else. It was in situations like these that he hated the mask his friend wore. “What?” he finally spat, unable to bear the silence any longer.

“You slept with her.”

Kid cursed. “Course I did. You’ve seen that ass?”

“Kid.”

“So what?” It took everything in him to remain seated. He felt like he was being accused of something and wasn’t even sure of what. No one managed to get under his skin like Killer did with his fucking logical questions.

“It complicates things, don’t you think?”

“Fuck no. What is there to complicate? I fucked her brains out one night, end of story.”

The Massacre Soldier nodded silently. “Alright. But we owe her. At least I do. Maybe we should move her to another room, let Dive keep watch?”

“No,” Kid replied, slightly too fast. He cleared his throat. “You’re right, but she stays here. She’s my responsibility. You can send Dive here.”

Killer shrugged, seemingly not surprised. It made Kid want to punch him. “You should eat something. I’ll fetch Dive.”

As soon as Killer had vanished, Kid pushed the plate aside. He drummed his fingers on the table, the conversation replaying in his head. Before he knew it, he had gotten up to sit down on the edge of his bed. She was still asleep, her chest heaving, her face flushed from the fever. He hesitated before pressing a hand to her forehead. Killer had been right. She was still burning up. Why weren’t her fucking meds working like they were supposed to? He tensed as a small whine escaped her mouth. So much for keeping quiet. She looked so small. So frail. He involuntarily started to chew on his fingernails until the nail polish started to come off. He rubbed his eyes. How long had he been sitting here? He should just leave. It wasn’t like he could do anything. But he didn’t. He just kept staring, observed how her eyelids fluttered, how her breathing sounded more and more tense.

“Boss, you wanted to see me?”

Kid flinched and cursed. He got up, clearing his throat. “Yeah, come in.”

Dive appeared in front of him, a bowl with wet cloths in her hands. “I got something to help bring the fever down.”

“Watcha waitin’ for, a written invitation?” Kid snapped.

The girl froze for a second before darting towards the bed. Fuck. Kid pinched the bridge of his nose, pacing around his room. He watched as Dive got to work, applying the cold compresses.

“That will cool ‘er down?”

Dive shot him a nervous glance. “It should, yeah.”

It better.

“So what now?”

“We’ll just have to wait. It takes time for the body to fight an infection.”

Great. If there was one thing that he wasn’t good at, it was waiting. Kid wasn’t too proud to admit that he didn’t have an ounce of patience inside him. There was no one that knew more about his flaws than himself. Maybe Killer. The man could read him like one of his smartass books. Kid started pacing again. For a few minutes, neither of them spoke a word.

A cough from the bed made him tense. “What’s happening?”

“I—I don’t know, it’s—”

“Move.”

In a second, Kid hovered above the unconscious woman. Her expression was tense. She looked like she was in pain, her face in deep frowns. Kid froze when he heard her voice, barely a whimper.

“It burns.”

“Get out,” he muttered.

“Boss—”

“I said, get the fuck out!” Kid roared.

He didn’t even turn to look how Dive hurried out of the room, just crouched down next to the doc, a hand on her forehead. He almost pulled it back immediately. Her skin was so hot. But why? If anything, the fewer was supposed to go down. What the fuck was happening? She whimpered something again but he couldn’t grasp the words. He grabbed her shoulders, shaking her. Her body was completely limp, like a ragdoll. She wasn’t just sleeping, she was completely knocked out.

“Doc,” Kid called out, digging his fingers into her shoulders.

She didn’t react. Not to his voice, that was growing louder, not to him shaking her with as much force as he dared without breaking her in half. Another whine spilled over her lips and Kid let her go, suddenly feeling wrong for touching her while she was unconscious. But her expression didn’t relax, if anything, it was growing more tense, as if it got harder for her to breathe. She started panting raggedly, her body jerking like she was in pain. Her head was being tossed from side to side with so much force, it almost hit the wall. Without thinking, Kid held her down.

“Let go,” she whined, tongue heavy, fighting against his grip.

Kid clenched his teeth. “Not gonna happen, doc.” He didn’t even know why he’d said that, it wasn’t like she could hear him.

The scream she released sent a chill right through him. She was fighting against his grip with surprising strength, wiggling and kicking. Kid pulled her against his chest, forcing her to lay still with his whole body. She still managed to scratch her nails over his arm before he could restrain her.

“Fuck,” he cursed.

She was biting down on his arm. Hard. He could feel a trickle of blood running down where her teeth broke his skin. But he didn’t shake her off. Why did he even bother? Maybe he did it for Killer. He couldn’t have that woman banging her own head in after she’d saved his best friend’s life. Besides, it would only create another mess for him to fix. So he didn’t let go, if anything, he pulled her even closer. He didn’t know how long he held her while she was trying to toss and trash. Probably trying her hardest to get away from him without even realizing it, screaming and whimpering until her voice became hoarse.

At some point, she calmed down. Her breathing sounded still strained and uneven and she was drenched in sweat, but she had stopped fighting.

Kid sat up and reached for the wet cloths on the nightstand, putting one on her burning forehead. The way her nose crinkled, she didn’t seem to like it. Too bad. He fed her the next dose of her medicine. Four drops. Maybe he should give her more since it didn’t seem to work? Or maybe too much would make it worse. He gritted his teeth. Why wasn’t she awake to answer these questions? He forced some water down her throat. She coughed. Fuck. He really was gonna kill her with his big stupid hands. Enough.

He got up, sat down on his chair, got up again. He was about to lose his cool and he knew it. He just didn’t know why.

Keep it down, or you’ll regret ever crossin’ paths with me.

Don’t worry, I already do.

If she hadn’t regretted meeting him before, she most certainly would if she woke up. When she woke up.

“Fuck,” Kid exclaimed. What the hell was wrong with him? From the moment this woman had set foot on his ship, she had only given him a headache. So what if she regretted anything? They had a deal, the deal was done now. Good riddance.

“What the—” he hadn’t watched his steps and had stumbled over the chair. The same way she had. Hot rage pulsed through his veins, consuming everything in its way. And he was sick and tired of keeping that ugly demon inside him caged. Without thinking, Kid kicked it across the room. But he didn’t stop there. He knocked over the table, sending maps and the leftovers from breakfast flying through the air. Panting, he turned around. The chair had collided with the wall yet still remained intact. As if to mock him. He picked it up and smashed it against the post. A leg broke. He did it again, and again, until only splinters remained.

“Kid!”

A hand on his shoulder made him whirl around, one leg of the chair still in his hands, ready to murder whoever was disturbing him right now.

“Kid, calm down,” Killer said in a voice that sounded like he had already repeated the sentence multiple times before.

Kid let the piece of wood drop onto the floor, still panting, but his vision slowly cleared. “Ever heard of knocking?”

“I did.”

Kid would have been ashamed in front of most people for losing that much control. But Killer wasn’t most people. “I’m busy.”

The Massacre Soldier ignored him. “You scared Dive.”

“She can handle it.”

“Probably. What about you?”

“What the fuck ‘s that supposed to mean?”

Killer silently approached the overturned table, pulling it back up. “You’re bleeding.” He gestured to Kid’s arm.

Kid’s glanced down. His arm was littered in scratchmarks. Dried blood marked the spot she had bitten down on. “It’s nothing,” he muttered.

“So her condition isn’t improving?”

Anger flared up inside him again, like a nearly burned down fire reignited. “She doesn’t get to die.”

“Why?”

“Cause I fuckin’ said so.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Kid released a deep breath. “Don’t need her crew giving us hell, won’t let anyone say I’m not a man of my word.”

Killer stilled. “You gave her your word?”

“Told ‘er the deal’s off. As soon as she wakes up she’s free to go.”

“You need to consider the possibility—”

“No. I won’t allow it. She’ll wake up.”

Killer nodded quietly. “Dive said the fever is supposed to go down. But it depends on the Doc now. She needs to fight this.”

“She will.”

His friend squeezed his shoulder briefly. “Okay. Just try to not mess up the whole ship while you’re at it. I don’t think it will help her recover.”

“Not like she notices a fuckin’ thing.”

“So you’re good here? I can come back later, keep you company.”

Kid swallowed, suddenly wishing he could turn back the clock on the last hour. This was always the worst part, when he calmed down, realizing all the shit he’d done and said, even if he knew that Killer didn’t judge him for it. Sometimes, when he was at his lowest, he thought that he didn’t deserve a friend like him. “No, don’t bother. I’ll join ya as soon as she’s stable.”

Killer helped with changing the cold compresses and left. After his friend had vanished, Kid glanced at the Doc. She was still sleeping. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but it looked like her fever had gotten down a bit. Or at least it hadn’t climbed up any higher.

Kid let his gaze wander across the room. He narrowed his eyes before a ghost of a smile pulled at his lips. Killer had left a bottle of booze on his workbench. His favorite kind of medicine. The sun stood still high but he felt like he could use a drink anyways. The next couple of hours he occupied himself with reorganizing his drawers and reloading his guns, even the ones he usually didn’t use anymore. When he ran out of bullets, he briefly considered going to his main workshop. No, it wasn’t important. He could do that later. He kept an eye at the clock.

After four hours, he got up and gave her the next dose of medicine. She was murmuring something in her sleep but he couldn’t make out the words. The sun had started sinking. His crew would be gathered on deck right now. Kid wasn’t in the mood for company right now. Maybe later.

He lay down on the bed, keeping his distance from her. Somehow, it felt wrong to lie next to her in this situation. Did she feel like that the whole time? Did she feel pressured to sleep with him? The thought made him sick.

I don’t want you to hold back, Eustass Kid.

It had been the first time that she had used his name and it had caused his brain to shut down. Kid didn’t have a hard time distinguishing between fucking and feelings. Because he rarely caught any. His crushes burned down as fast as they emerged. It wasn’t like him to turn down an offer for a good time. And he’d wanted her under him almost as soon as he’d laid eyes on her. But her touch had ignited something in him, had left him fucked in more than one sense.

He clenched his fists, his gaze glued to her face. She still didn’t look relaxed. From time to time, small whimpers spilled over her dry lips or a spasm went through her body. It looked like she was fighting something. Kid had the sudden urge to promise her that everything would turn out well. That when she woke up, he’d hold up his promise. That he’d stop being such a stupid asshole. If she died now, she’d do so hating him. Why did that thought bother him so much?

“Fuck,” Kid groaned, rubbing his hands over his face.

A pained gasp drew his attention back to her. Was that just a side effect from the infection? What demons was she fighting? He laid a hand on her forehead. Warm, sweaty. Maybe not burning as bad as this morning.

Kid remained like that the whole night. Feeding her the medicine every four hours. Changing the cold compresses. Observing every little whimper, every pained expression on her face. Late at night, she grew quieter and wasn’t sweating as much. He removed the wet cloths. Kid felt like he should be relieved but somehow her constant noises had been almost reassuring. Was she still breathing? He needed to stay awake.

He was woken up by someone shivering against his chest. He opened his eyes, a burst of adrenaline rushing through his body. He’d fallen asleep. He blinked. Had she come closer or had it been him? She was almost snuggled against his chest. And her body was shaking like a leaf. A touch against her forehead confirmed his suspicions. She was so cold. Judging by the sunlight, he had been sleeping for several hours. Her medicine was overdue.

Kid sat up, grabbing the little bottle. He faintly realized that his hands were trembling. He’d screwed everything up. The way he always did. And she had paid the price. Again.

“Dammit, why’d you have to be so stupid?” he rasped. He didn’t even know who he was addressing at this moment.

He watched her pale face. Strands of her hair stuck to her forehead, drenched in dried sweat. He brushed them back. A new wave of tremors ran through her, making her teeth clatter. Kid cursed, pulling the sheets over both of them and her body against his own. She was freezing. He held her, trying to warm her up. But she didn’t stop shaking.

A knock on the door almost made him growl a curse. “What?”

“Kid, it’s me.”

Killer appeared in the doorframe with some breakfast. He didn’t comment on the chaos in the room or Kid being in bed, just sat the plate down on the table.

“Is she any better?”

“The fuck should I know? Think fever is down, but now she’s freezing to death or something.”

“So you’ll keep her warm.” Killer was so matter-of-fact as always. Nothing could ruffle this man. “The fever going down is a good thing. I’ll check up with Dive to be sure. Do you need anything?”

“No,” Kid growled. He felt like an animal that had dragged it’s prey into a cave, lashing out at anyone threatening to take it away.

“You should eat something,” Killer said before turning around.

But Kid didn’t feel like eating. He remained in bed, only letting go of the shaking body when Dive appeared for a quick check-up. He clenched his teeth when she told him there was nothing they could do apart from keeping the Doc warm and wait for her body to stabilize enough to wake up.

As the day went on, she grew quieter by the hour. Her eyelids were fluttering weakly, her pulse had slowed down. Kid didn’t know if that was a good or a bad thing. She was still cold, so he didn’t let go. He thought once again about the fact that the last time they’d been so close it had been the night of the attack.

I need you.

Her voice ghosted through his head next to some images. Her rebellious eyes, shooting daggers at him at every given opportunity. That gooddamm attitude that left him stumbling over his own words, feeling like an idiot. Her fighting spirit that made his pulse race. Her words, only meant to rile him up. That sly smile that lit up her whole face, even when she tried to hide it. That fucking smart mouth that sparked this urge in him to kiss her. Probably to shut her up.

You think I got a soft spot for ya?

Kid didn’t even try to shake the memories off anymore. He didn’t care anymore what they meant. The only thing that mattered was that she woke up. She could hate him for the rest of her life for all he cared. If only she woke up.

He froze, blood roaring in his ears. Did she just—? There it was again.

“Kid…”

Her broken voice shattered something inside him. It was only a whisper but there was no doubt. She was murmuring his name. Why? Probably another nightmare. And still, hearing his name being spilled over her lips shook him to his core, awakened something inside him that he had tried his hardest to push down the past days even if it meant pushing her away in the process.

Before he knew it, he had called out her name. The one her captain had used the night they’d met. She frowned at that, as if she recognized it. The words just kept stumbling out of his mouth. “Come back, doll. I need ya too.”

*

YOUR POV

You woke up at a doorstep, panting. Your hands were gripping the skirt of a woman. She was crying but her face was a blur. Maybe it was because of your own tears. You didn’t want her to go, didn’t understand why she needed to leave you.

Don’t leave me! you wanted to cry, but all that came out was a muffled sob.

Your lungs burned from the smoke that rose all around you. The flames flickered greedily over the walls, your skin.

“It burns,” you whimpered.

You looked up and saw the flames mirrored in his lifeless eyes. He was foaming from his mouth. An oil lamp lay shattered on the ground. Strong hands teared at you. They had come back to take you as well. You saw white and blue. And then you saw red.

“Let go of me,” you screamed as they dragged you away. You were so weak.

You kicked and screamed until your voice grew horse, but the strong arm around your chest was unrelenting. You bit down until you tasted iron. But your attackers didn’t show mercy. They never did. You felt your life slipping away from you but you would be damned if you didn’t take as many of them with you into the darkness as you could.

Something cold on your skin. And on your tongue. Blood? No, blood was warm. You coughed. You didn’t want this. You wanted to fight. There were the hands again, ready to drag you away. You shook them off and ran into a dark alley. You were panting, sweating. No, it was rain, falling heavy on your body, until you were soaked through your bones.

You shivered, suddenly feeling cold. Your teeth were clattering. Everything was a blurry mess. You felt so weak. You dropped to your knees. If you couldn’t walk, you would crawl. You saw a dark corner and your heart jumped. For some reason you knew, if you could get to that corner, you would be safe. Someone was already waiting there for you, the presence of the dark figure almost palpable. But with every inch you moved forward, the fatigue in your bones grew heavier, dragging you down. Sharp stones bore into your knees and hands, the heavy rain falling on you threatening to drown you. Maybe you should rest, just for a little bit. You collapsed on the ground, feeling a sense of peace wash over you. Closing your eyes, you thought that the only regret you had was that you didn’t die out at sea.

Someone called out to you. You blinked, slowly opening your eyes again. Sea? But you’ve never been at sea. It didn’t make any sense. So why couldn’t you shake this feeling of remorse off of you? After all, you couldn’t miss the things you never experienced. There it was again. The voice. You lifted your head. There was no doubt. The shadow at the corner was calling out for you. You frowned, couldn’t make out the words. And what would be the point? You knew you were dying, here on the cold ground. Alone. Why did he care? The figure was shouting now, it made your head throb. You wanted to scream at him to shut up, but your tongue was too heavy.

Suddenly, it hit you. The shadow was shouting your name. Only one person on this earth called you by that. You knew now why you had wanted to reach this corner so desperately. That’s where he had found you, where he had held his hand out to you.

How many times do I have to ask you before you finally decide to join my crew?

The words were echoing in your head, while the voice in front of you kept on shouting, stirring somewthing deep within you. You propped yourself on your elbows, crawling on your stomach through the mud. Your tears were mingling with the raindrops on your face. With your last ounce of strength, you dragged yourself forward until you reached the corner. Through the blur of tears, you looked up, expecting to see Nikolai's freckled features. Instead, you stared into the pale face of Eustass Kid. He held his hand out to you, a pleading emotion in his eyes, that made you wrinkle your forehead. This wasn’t right. Eustass “Captain” Kid didn’t plead.

“Why are you here?” you asked puzzled.

“Come back with me, doll,” Kid rasped, his stand unwavering.

“Why?” you whispered, your chest clenching together painfully.

“Because I need ya too.”

Chapter 9 - Waking up

The world was still spinning when you woke up, tearing your thoughts into tiny pieces, whirling around in your head. You tried your best to put them back together, but the images unfolding weren’t pretty, so you dropped your efforts. Your mouth was so dry that your tongue was stuck to your palate. You tried to swallow, hoping to gulp down the dawning realizations in the process. They were nagging at your temples, devoid of any mercy, only waiting for you to wake up in order to crush you.

Every fiber of your body protested when you forced your swollen eyelids open. The sheets next to you were crumpled. Eustass Kid wasn’t there. Good. You let out a relieved breath and propped yourself in a sitting position, wincing with every little movement. Your head felt like it was going to explode any minute. The room was still a mess, splashes of blood, broken glass and splinters of wood were shuffled over the floor. Your stomach sank, your last fragments of wishful thinking washed away. So it hadn’t been a bad dream after all. You had been attacked. You had killed three men. And you had—another wave of sickness washed over you. 

Stumbling, you made your way to the bathroom just in time to throw up. Coughing, you hugged the toilet, your core clenching together violently even after there was nothing left but air. Tears and snot were mixing on your face while you took wheezing breaths. Mercilessly, your brain replayed every scene from last night before you while you watched the aftermath vanish through teary eyes. I need you. You coughed again. Despite your stomach being empty, you still felt nauseous. “Fuck,” you groaned into the toilet. So fucking stupid. What was that supposed to mean anyway? You hadn’t even thought about it previously before saying it. Hot shame rushed through you, leaving you feeling more raw than your aching throat. You felt your anger returning again. You were angry with yourself for letting your guard down, for giving in to whatever it was you had been feeling last night, for acting despite your better judgement. But above all, you were angry with Kid for making you doubt yourself and surrender yourself to him, just so that the moment you did, he could remind you why that had been a terrible idea in the first place. Perhaps that had been his intention all along, just to show you how weak you truly were. You gritted your teeth. And all this time, you thought you had everything under control. At least there was no need for pretending anymore. No more games. Good. Maybe you had needed him last night, but the moment had passed and you felt like you could finally see things clearly again for what they were. Unfortunately, the thought didn’t help with the sick feeling in your stomach.

Finally you got up on wobbly legs, managing to brush your teeth and hopping under the shower. Perhaps you had fallen deeper than you’d like to admit, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t get up again. After taming your hair, you took a first good look in the mirror. Bloody hell. The bruises on the right side of your face were even more colorful than last night, your lip still swollen. You tried moving your jaw and groaned. It hurt, but at least there didn’t seem to be broken bones. A glance at your neck made you clench your fists. The bruises were clear evidence of where the Marine soldier had choked you. But you could also see all the hickeys and bite marks that Eustass Kid had left there. You drew your gaze away, instead concentrating on bandaging your arm. The wound was still angry red and warm, but since your actions from last night hadn’t been exactly helpful in the healing process, you had to thank yourself for that. At least the stabbing wound on your thigh had healed nicely. Your gaze fell upon your old clothes, laying in a corner, half torn to shreds. They were finally ready to go into the trash. Since you had no other choice, you dressed into the clothes Kid or rather Emma had provided you with. Despite everything, there was no denying that she had good taste.

In the bedroom, you cleaned up your work materials until everything was in order again, restocking your blood-stained satchel with the necessities. You applied some salve against the bruising before mixing yourself a portion of your hangover cure along with some painkillers. This time you wouldn’t offer your medicine to Eustass Kid. He could choke on his own vomit for all you cared.

A creaking sound from the door made you whirl around. Someone had left it slightly open. You furrowed your brows. Did that mean you could finally roam the ship freely now? Maybe you risking your life for Killer had proven that you could be trusted after all. You stepped into the dimly lit corridor. Someone had carried the body in front of the stairs away, even the traces of blood had vanished.

When you set foot on the upper deck, you had to shield your eyes from the glazing sun with your hand. The Kid Pirates were running around, shouting, laughing. It was an almost insulting contrast to the dark clouds inside you. You tried to blink your rising irritation away. The traces of last night’s fight had vanished, as if it had never happened. You spotted the massive figure of Eustass Kid immediately. He was standing in the midst of a group of his men, back slightly arched as his barking laughter filled the air. You brushed silently past them, locking eyes with Kid for a second. Something flickered over his face, but he was in control again a moment after. To your surprise, none of the crewmates made a joke or even looked at you funny. They acknowledged your presence silently, some of them nodding or smiling at you when you walked past them. It was uncanny, making you contemplate if you were still dreaming after all. A pat on your shoulder made you flinch around.

“Sorry, raven girl, didn’t mean to startle ya.” It was Emma. She flashed you a grin.

She had another woman in tow with curly hair, dressed in some kind of a princessy costume. She too was smiling wide, despite her black eye. “Name’s Quincy, damn, you look roughed up, doc.”

You opened your mouth and closed it again. Why were they so nice? Was that the you risked your life for one of us and passed the test kind of thing? “Well, I guess I kinda dropped the ball against the last one,” you muttered.

“Aww, she’s embarrassed,” Quincy laughed. But it wasn’t a mean laugh. “You did a good thing ya know?”

“Pretty ballsy move,” Emma agreed.

You knew how to handle insults, threats and even violence. But this caught you completely off guard, leaving a strange taste in your mouth. “Well, I’m still a doctor.”

“Looks like the boss already thanked her in his own way,” Quincy teased.

You knew she probably didn’t mean for it but her words stung more than you’d like. If it were up to you, you’d just erase every trace of what happened last night. You felt heat spreading over your cheeks, your body ready to snap upon the slightest reminder. “Sorry, need to go look after Killer now,” you pressed.

They chuckled upon your embarrassed squirming. Enough was enough. You sensed that the women wanted to tell you something else, but if it was another way of teasing or thanking you, you’d need to jump ship.

With a mumbled excuse you hurried inside the Massacre Soldier’s room, still feeling irritated about the sudden moodswing. Did they all know what had happened during the attack? What did Kid tell them? You took your satchel off your shoulder, rummaging through it on the search for clean bandages.

“So you must be the doctor I’ve been hearing so much about. No one tell you it’s rude not to knock?”

You dropped the bag, a silent gasp spilling out of your mouth upon the deep baritone voice. Piercing blue eyes met your gaze for a second. Killer propped himself on his elbows, his long blonde hair cascading around his shoulders. You had gotten so used to his unconscious face that you almost didn’t recognize him at first. His expression was calm, yet you sensed that he felt slightly uncomfortable by your sudden appearance, a guarded tension behind his eyes. Then it dawned on you. Him waking up was probably what had put everyone in such a good mood. You thought that you’d have pretty much served your purpose once Killer had pulled through, certainly not expecting any thanks for doing something you never had a say in to start with.

You realized that you were staring and tore your gaze away. “You’re awake.”

“Woke up this morning, but I’m still pretty worn out. I was just about to take another nap.”

“That’s good,” you managed to get out. “Sorry, you startled me,” you added, picking up your satchel again and approaching the bed.

Killer reached for his mask on the nightstand, making you frown. Why would he feel the need to wear that right now? You hoped he hadn’t taken offense by your words, you had a tendency to say the wrong things in the worst moments.

“Wait.” You cleared your throat. “I mean, could you wait a minute with that, please? I need to check on you first.”

The blond man froze, but he didn’t protest when you sat down on the edge of the bed, observing the movement of his eyes from up close.

“Look up, please. Now down.”

The Massacre Soldier was surprisingly complying.

You hummed. “No redness visible anymore. Your vision is fine?”

“Yes.”

“Good. The toxin targets nerves first, starting with the exposed area, but in rare cases it can affect the sensory organs, depending on how far it spreads internally. When I first got here, your eyes were showing signs of infection.”

Killer just nodded. Again you thought that he wore the controlled, slightly guarded expression of a man who liked to quietly observe a situation before he’d act. But there was also a sense of stoic determination on his features like he’d always focus on what needed to be done. But what surprised you the most was that he looked—

So normal.

“What?”

Did you say that aloud? Your ears felt hot. Well, too late to take it back now. “Dunno, I always expected you’d have a lot of scars or something like that. Not that you’d look just, well, so normal,” you murmured.

There was a flicker in his eyes. Surprise? Relief? It was too brief to tell because he quietly put on his mask. For a second you feared that you had insulted him.

“I didn’t mean—you don’t have to wear that,” you hurriedly explained.

He waved you off. “Force of habit. Are you always that blunt?” His voice was a bit muffled through the mask, but you could have sworn that he sounded amused.

You released a breath. “Not when your Captain threatens to kill me. Sorry.” You really had to pull your shit together.

This time you were sure. The Massacre Soldier chuckled briefly, although it seemed that he tried to suppress it, the masked face turned away from you. “You got nothing to apologize for, doc. I heard from Kid you saved my life twice. I owe you.”

His words made your insides squirm again. That was why you rather treated patients while they were unconscious. You didn’t know how to handle their gratitude. “You don’t owe me anything, I’m a doctor, that’s what I do. Besides, I was kind of forced to save you and yesterday I didn’t do shit aside from almost getting myself killed.”

“Just take it, doc,” he said calmly.

You opened your mouth and closed it again. “How are you feeling?” you finally asked.

“Like I’ve slept for a week,” Killer answered. “Had some strange dreams.”

And you didn’t want to know the details about that, considering everything that had happened in this room the past few days. “Yeah, that about covers it. I’m going to take a look at the wound.”

“Go ahead,” he offered, leaning back

The wound had continued to close. It was likely to leave a big scar but you doubted the Massacre Soldier would care about that. You carefully applied pressure on the skin surrounding the wound. He didn’t flinch. “Do you feel that?”

“Yes.”

You nodded, satisfied. “That’s good, it means the nerve damage should be minimal.”

“When am I going to be able to fight again? I already got up briefly this morning, but my legs feel like pudding.” Killer had asked calmly, but you sensed the deeper meaning underneath the question.

“What did you tell K—the Captain?” you asked.

“I told him everything’s fine, can’t have him worrying about me any longer.”

You scoffed. Men, all the same, you thought. “Well, you’re not fully recovered yet, but I think it won’t take long at this point, especially given your physique. Someone weaker than you wouldn’t even have woken up at this point. You need to eat a lot of nutrient dense foods now, making up for the past days, and you should start moving your body again, carefully of course. My guess, in a couple of days you’ll be as good as new.”

Killer let out a breath and shook his head. “How can something so small,” he pointed in the direction of the wound, “can have such a big effect?”

“That’s the fun about poison,” you replied, grinning.

The Massacre Soldier cocked his head, as if he was taking in your expression. “Thank you doc, truly, I’m in your debt.”

You felt heat rising to your cheeks again. “Don’t mention it,” you pressed, grimacing. The sudden pressure on your jaw made you wince.

“Is that from the guy that hurt you?”

“Which one of them?” you asked dryly.

Killer’s gaze wandered over your face and neck. At least that was what you assumed. Your blush deepened when you remembered the bitemarks, and the double meaning they gave your words, but it was too late to cover them now.

“I heard they got what they deserved. No wonder Kid was furious. I wish I had been awake to fight, maybe I could have even prevented this whole ambush.” There was remorse in his voice.

Before you could help it you blurted out, “You're so different from him.”

“From Kid? I should hope so, there is only room for one of his kind on the Grand Line.” His words were teasing, but his voice was full of devotion.

You eyed him, your curiosity getting the better of you. “You two are pretty close, hm?”

“You could say that.”

“So if you got hurt, he would move heaven and earth to make sure you got better?”

“Even kidnapping a doctor, if it served his purpose,” Killer agreed.

Even if you couldn’t see his face, you were sure he could see through you from the moment you’d set foot in his room. “Real noble,” you huffed, but your words lacked the edge you had intended.

“Does that change your opinion of him?”

“You don’t know my opinion of him.”

“I don’t know the whole picture. But you are not exactly subtle and”—he cut himself off and made a vague gesture.

This time you couldn’t help it but to cover the biggest mark on your neck with your hand.

“No need to hide it.”

You shot him a scowl. “What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s—” He paused. “Forgive me, it’s nothing.”

You weren't sure if you wanted to hear the answer to this, but you still asked, “What did he tell you?”

“Not much,” Killer replied. “You want my advice, doc?” Before you could answer, he continued. “You should keep your distance. Complications tend to escalate.”

You snorted. “Believe me, I’m trying.” You tried to sound nonchalantly, surprised to notice that his words weren’t as reassuring as you’d have liked them to be.

“Are you?”

“I liked you better when you were in a coma,” you said dryly.

Killer shrugged. “You don’t have to take my advice.”

You felt like there was something else the Massacre Soldier wanted to tell you, but whatever it was, he didn’t voice it. And it was probably for the best. Standing up, you said, “You should keep resting for now. Make sure you’ll eat something when you wake up.”

“Aye, doc, see you around.”

You were lost in thought when you stepped back outside. Killer’s words had stirred something inside you that you couldn’t quite place. As far as you were concerned, things were already past the point of escalating, so what had he been getting at? But with one thing he’d been right. You should keep your distance from Eustass “Captain” Kid. Well, that shouldn’t prove too hard after last night. You bumped into a large obstacle, nearly making you stumble back, your nose buried in fur.

“Watch it, doc,” a low voice sneered above you.

You looked up to see Kid towering over you, his shaved brows furrowed. Your heart skipped a beat. So much for keeping your distance. You were tempted to punch him in the guts. “You could have moved out of the way,” you said, voice tense.

“You couldave looked straight ahead instead of fuckin’ daydreaming,” the red-haired captain shot back.

The wind blew a strand of hair in your face. You angrily brushed it back. “Killer’s awake.”

“I know,” Kid said, his facial expression softening slightly. “He told me he’s fine, but I know he’s full of shit, so give it straight to me, doc.”

“He’ll be fine, he just needs to eat and rest a lot the next couple of days and slowly start moving again.”

Eustass Kid breathed out, the tension in his shoulders fading. “Good.” He cleared his throat. “Thank you.”

You gaped at him, anger brewing inside you, threatening to boil over. Now he decided to act like a half-decent human being all of a sudden? “Did you hit your head in the battle?”

“You’re about to hit yer head if ya keep talkin’ like this,” Kid snarled.

“Don’t think that would matter at this point anymore,” you said, pointing at your bruises.

His gaze wandered over your face, seemingly annoyed by your appearance. “Yeah, maybe you’re right, ye look like shit, should really start workin’ on yer defense.”

You clenched your fists. “Funny. Why don’t you set an example, start by defending your own ship?”

That got to him, you could see it in his hardening expression, almost making you regret your words. He lowered his face to your ear, so that only you could hear his next words. “I’m really tirin’ of this attitude, doc. Think I got a soft spot for ya ‘cause ya spread yer legs for me once? I don’t, wasn’t even that good. So fuckin’ knock it off, or you’ll regret ever crossin’ paths with me.”

“Don’t worry, I already do,” you whispered, hating the lump that was forming in your throat.

“Good, you should,” Kid rasped. The fire in his eyes had burned down.

You realized how close you were. For a split second, you didn’t know if you had the urge to slap him or to pull him closer, but you were frozen on the spot, not in control of your body.

The moment passed, you cleared your throat, scanning the area around you. You weren’t sure if anyone had seen you, if so, no one batted an eye. Why didn’t he just get lost? Looking around, you desperately rummaged to your brain for something to say. One of Kid’s men limped past you, his arm in a bloody sling. You chewed on your lip before thinking better of it. Of course. You had been such an idiot. While taking the first real look at the Kid Pirates, you saw even more injured men. Of course their captain and you weren’t the only people that had been hurt in the fight. Hadn’t you been so busy with—no, it didn’t matter now. You felt a switch click inside you.

Looking back up at Kid, you asked, “Mind if I make myself useful here?” gesturing to his crew.

Eustass Kid followed your gesture, the wrinkle on his forehead returning. For a moment, it seemed like he was battling something inside of him before coming to a decision. “Knock yerself out, doc. But don’t fuckin’ pamper ‘em. We’re used to dealing with that kinda stuff on our own and since ya—Fuck, forget it.” He walked away, pinching the bridge of his nose, cursing something under his breath.

You could see him talking to his men in the distance. You made your way over the deck, trying to find out whose condition was the worst. “You, you, and you,” you pointed at three men. “Let me take a look at that.” One of them was the man who had limped past you earlier. You recognized in him the man with the hat with whom you’d exchanged insults on the first night on board after he had mocked you by dryfucking the mast. The other two men had stabbing wounds, at least one of the deeper cuts already showing signs of infection.

Soon, there was a queue of pirates you tended to, prioritizing the ones with the most obvious signs of injuries first. You were grateful for the distraction, helping you to focus on the things you knew how to take care of best. The man with the hat introduced himself as Pomp. He shot you a crooked smile after you had wrapped the clean bandage around him.

“Thanks, doc, already feeling strong enough to take on that mast again,” he drawled.

You flipped him off while chuckling. “Never thought I’d pity a piece of wood that much.”

The man limped away, laughing. Again you thought that the mood shift was almost unsettling. Only a couple of days ago, you had loathed these men, spitting threats at each other. Now, the atmosphere was relaxed, almost cheerful. From time to time, you felt Kid’s gaze upon you, probably making sure you didn’t fuck up, but you were too focused on your work to let it get to you. Your head hadn’t felt so light since boarding this ship. You had almost forgotten how good it felt to be on the open ocean, surrounded by a crew to share a laughter with. Your heart slightly ached at that, thoughts of the Lark Pirates flooding your memories. But somehow, in the midst of these wild bunch of men and women, you felt less alone. The manners of the Kid Pirates had improved drastically, everyone thanking you after the treatment until you couldn’t bear it evermore.

“The next one to thank me for my work is getting stabbed by my scalpel,” you barked, laughter following your words.

When you had finally bandaged the last wound, the sun had already begun to sink. Your face was burning, probably from the whole day of sun exposure, and your right arm ached. You had to take a look at that later too, it started to become a serious bother. You stretched, groaning when your limbs finally got some release after remaining in one position almost the whole day. It had been a welcome distraction, but you felt yourself getting tired, almost dizzy. Maybe it was the best to call it a day.

“Hey, doc, you’re coming?” someone shouted.

You turned around to see the majority of the Kid Pirates gathering around the low table in the middle of the deck, crouching down on the ground. The table was filled with food and booze. Your gaze instinctively shot up to search for Kid. He was leaning against the railing, an unreadable expression on his face when you found his eyes. “Nah, I should probably head to bed, it’s been a long day,” you said, stifling a yawn, not keen on provoking Eustass Kid any further.

“Nonsense, have a drink with us! Afraid we’re going to drink you under the table?” Dive added, already holding a cup of booze and by the looks of her wide grin, it wasn’t her first drink of the night.

“Well, at least you would still fit under that table,” you shouted back with a grin. Barking laughter erupted around the table. “But I’ll have to take you up on that offer another time, I’ve had enough of your faces for today.” It was true to some extent, the day had been pretty overwhelming and you longed for some peace and quiet. Though it was mostly that you realized how enticing that offer sounded, making you feel the need to take a step back before you’d start blurring any more lines.

“What if you can’t see my face?” a voice behind you asked.

The Kid Pirates started cheering and banging their fists on the table, even Eustass Kid’s face was split into a shit-eating grin. You whirled around, just in time to witness Killer stepping beside you. He was wearing his mask. You still didn’t know the reason for it, but for tonight you could guess it. He didn’t want to show his comrades any sign of weakness, so it was easier to keep up appearances that way.

He crouched down on the ground next to the table, filled two cups with moonshine and held one out to you. “Now have a drink with me or I am going to thank you again for saving my life.”

“Fine,” you huffed, sitting down beside him. “How can I say no to that?” But a small smile pulled at your lips. “How do you drink with the mask?” you asked curiously.

“Like that,” Killer simply said, slightly lifting his mask before downing his drink behind it.

“Huh, that’s almost disappointing,” you laughed.

Soon, Killer was surrounded by his crewmates. It seemed that everyone wanted to talk to him tonight. After some time, he sat down beside Kid, the two of them huddled together conspiratorially. The bond between them was almost palpable. Eustass Kid seemed relaxed, as if Killer was the one to keep him grounded. Maybe he was for Kid what Nikolai was for you. You liked the Massacre Soldier. There was a sense of calm about him, which was odd given his nickname. Then again, the name Kid didn’t really fit one of the most notorious pirates on the Grand Line. Perhaps he’d been named after his bratty attitude.

A few of the women drew you into a conversation. Besides Emma and Quincy you also got to know an older woman with blue hair called House. She was smoking a pipe and everything about her screamed badass. House was a person you thought you’d probably never get tired of listening to. If she hadn’t become a pirate, she could’ve made a career as a storyteller. At some point the man with the mohawk started plucking at the strings of a guitar, somehow giving all that chaotic chatter and laughter a frame. It wasn’t for long before it struck you. You were actually having a good time. Maybe you had a heatstroke after all. If someone had told you prior to your involuntary stay that you would enjoy the company of the Kid Pirates over food and drinks, you’d have called them mad. But if the circumstances had been different, this wouldn’t feel so much different to nights on the Mollymawk.

“And then I asked him, ‘marine scum says what?’ And he goes, ‘what?’ And then I said ‘gotcha’ before sending his ass with a cannonball into the sea. So at least he went out with a bang,” House said grinning between two drags on her pipe.

You couldn’t help it. You laughed.

A wicked grin played over Qunicy’s lips when she faced you. “Uhh, look at that, the doc can laugh,” she cooed.

You felt already flushed again, being the center of attention. And there was also a part of you feeling guilty at how much you were enjoying yourself.

“No need to get all embarrassed again, raven girl, you have a nice laugh,” Emma added, eyes sparkling.

You almost choked on a piece of chicken you had just stuffed into your mouth to distract yourself from their teasing. “I knew you were horrible people,” you groaned while burying your face in your hands. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“Because you make it really easy for us,” Emma grinned.

“And you’re kinda cute when you blush, sweetheart,” Quincy teased.

“I have a scalpel and I’m not afraid to use it,” you huffed, but your voice was trembling as you tried to hold back a chuckle.

“Promises, promises, show us what you got, raven girl,” Emma laughed.

It wasn’t for long that your eyelids grew heavy, no matter how hard you rubbed them. The thought of falling asleep with your head on the table gave you the last push to get up. After a muttered excuse and some teasing goodbye words, you made your way back towards Kid’s quarters. The laughter and sounds of cups being hit on the table slowly faded. You felt dizzy walking down the steps. Were you that drunk from one cup of booze? You should have taken your own advice and eaten more today, but as soon as you focused on your work, you always forgot about everything else.

Someone had cleaned up in Kid’s cabin. Must be the benefits of being the captain, you thought. The blood on the floor was gone and there were even clean sheets on the bed. Your jaw tightened briefly. You dragged yourself inside the bathroom, inclined to at least brush your teeth. While doing that, you observed your face in the mirror. Your cheeks were flushed, your eyes glassy. You blew a strand of hair out of your face. Maybe you were more drunk than you had realized. Probably better to sleep it off then. Fatigue was creeping through your bones at the mere thought of that. You were too tired to look for a shirt to sleep in, just undressed where you stood until you were left in your underwear. Crawling under the sheets, a satisfied moan escaped you. Before you knew it, sleep had overwhelmed you.

You were woken up by heavy, stumbling steps and muffled curses. Moments later, Kid slid under the sheets beside you, reeking of booze.

You groaned and turned around, the smell making you nauseous. You felt like you were burning up and realized that the blanket was damp against your sweaty skin. You pushed the covers slightly away from you for some relief. Maybe the past few days had been too much for you and your body was finally ready to give up. No more moonshine for you, you decided. Alcohol was poison anyways, and not even the interesting kind.

You turned around again, trying to find a cooler spot that was not drenched in sweat, but it proved like an impossible task.

“Stop with the fuckin’ wrigglin’, ’m tryin’ to sleep,” Kid’s voice drawled through the darkness.

“Might work better if you closed your eyes and shut up,” you said, tongue feeling heavy.

Chapter 8 - No holding back

You closed the door behind you, still hearing how Kid maneuvered the bodies out of the door while cursing and bellowing orders to his men. You sat in the tub, not bothering to undress except for your shoes, and turned the water on. You leaned back and let the hot water embrace you. It was immediately tainted with stains of red as the blood was washed away from you. You watched it creating little red circles on the surface, hovering, whirling around and fading into the water at last, coloring it in a deep shade of pink. You rubbed the water over your face, wincing when you touched your bruised skin.

You heard distant screams. The kind of screams that you sometimes heard in your nightmares. You were torn between feelings of horror and feeling a strange sense of justice. Eustass “Captain” Kid was a monster. That shouldn’t come as a surprise to you. But you found yourself wondering what your crew would think of you after they’d seen you fight today. Would they also regard you as a monster if they’d seen you crashing down, stabbing a lifeless body while screaming your lungs out? Nikolai knew about your past, at least the rough picture, and had never judged you for it. In fact, he was the one that could always calm you down, keeping that side of you in check.

In the end, who was to decide who the monsters were, and by what means? By the willingness to kill, the level of cruelty or the enjoyment of the act? Did Kid enjoy torturing and killing people? You didn’t know and your head began to throb again. Maybe you had to stop thinking so hard.

Finally, the tub was filled enough that you could let yourself sink under the surface, blurring all the noise out. You opened your eyes, staring at the water surface from below, feeling somewhat at peace. You stayed there, floating, letting your thoughts wash away, until you ran out of air. Splashing around, you leaned back, closing your eyes. After a while, the screams had faded. It was all over.

A knock on the door startled you.

“Doc?”

“In here,” you called.

The door flew open and Eustass Kid walked in, bare chested and panting, a bottle in his right hand. He was covered in blood. The red liquid was dripping down his face, his hands, his chest. You couldn’t help but flinch slightly at his sight. He looked more like a beast than a man at this moment.

Kid scoffed, taking in your expression, before deciding for a dark grin. “Seen a ghost?”

“Did you send your message?”

“Loud and clear.” He handed you the bottle. “Time for celebratin’.”

You didn’t know if that was the right term for the situation. Nevertheless, you took the bottle, noticing that the seal had already been broken. You took a long sip and almost choked upon the harsh taste. “What’s that?” you coughed.

“Finest moonshine on the Grand Line,” Kid smirked, seemingly satisfied by your struggle to keep a straight face. “My favorite kinda poison.”

Your nose crinkled when you stared down at the bottle. “Nothing poisonous about it except the alcohol. Pity.”

Kid’s eyes narrowed, gaze lingering on you for a moment before shaking his head. “Freak.” He stepped inside the tub without asking and hissed. “You takin’ a bath or cookin’ yerself?”

You gave him a small grin. Who would have thought Captain Kid couldn’t handle a hot bath? “I like it that way.” You took another sip of the moonshine. It burned in your throat and you felt a comforting warmth spreading over your face and inside your chest. “It’s good,” you said with a strained voice, drinking again before handing the bottle back to Eustass Kid, who was now sitting across from you.

“Sure, doc,” he snorted before chugging down what felt like half the bottle.

“Rough night?” you asked.

Kid let out a low laughter, before shoving the bottle back into your hands. He started to wash the blood from his face and body. Soon the water was deep red, making it look like you were bathing in pure blood.

The silence stretched out between you after you had passed the booze back and forth a few times. You fidgeted the bottle absently in between your fingers, your nails scraping over the label, tearing tiny pieces of the paper away.

“D’ya wanna drink or what?” the pirate captain asked, his crimson hair now dripping from wetness. Strands of it were falling over his forehead, giving him a different look than usual.

Pulling your gaze away, you drank some more and held the bottle out to him. It was almost empty. You felt your movements getting sloppier by the second. Drinking tonight had been probably a bad idea, but at least it numbed the pain and your racing thoughts. Kid downed the rest of the bottle, eying it warily as if he couldn’t believe that the alcohol was gone already. He dumped the bottle outside the tub. It rolled away.

You looked at him, suddenly aware that you were sitting in a bathtub with Eustass “Captain” Kid. It should have taken you aback, or at least made you laugh at the sheer absurdity of the situation. But you didn’t feel appalled or amused. Without all the blood, he looked less scary, you decided, cocking your head slightly without you even noticing. For some reason, you wondered what it would feel like to brush your fingers through his wet hair.

“What’s with that look again, doll?” Eustass Kid drawled, his voice rolling over you like a wave, echoing back from the walls of the room.

Or perhaps it was an echo inside your head. You tried clearing your thoughts without much success. “How did you know where to look for me?” you asked instead.

A shadow flickered over his face. “Heat saw ya crawlin’ inside, armed with a gun and a knife. He was about to go after you when I arrived. But I was almost too late, wasn’t I? Why didn’t you just shoot the motherfucker?” he asked, the angry edge back to his voice, gaze burning into yours.

“I—ran out of bullets,” you admitted. Kid continued to glare at you, so you added, “I usually only fight with daggers and knives, because I can never remember how many bullets I have left.”

Your explanation didn’t seem to help the redhead calm down in the slightest. He hit the edge of the tub with his fist. “Fuckin’ hell. Why d’ya wanna die so badly? What business had you to go after that scumbag in the first place? Why not let my men handle it?”

You didn’t like the direction in which the conversation was heading. The deeper he dug, the more questions it would raise. Questions you didn’t have answers to. “There was no time, I saw him getting inside, knowing he would find Killer unconscious and—”

Kid cut you off with a snort, but there was no humor in it. “So yer tellin’ me that you wanted to save Killer so badly, you decided to risk yer own damn neck? Could have fooled me.”

His words somehow stung more than they should have, shooting arrows of hot rage through you. “You know what, screw you, you don’t have to believe shit, I don’t give a damn,” you shot back angrily, the water splashing around you. “I’m a pirate, but I’m also a doctor, and I can’t just sit back on my ass and look the other way when a patient of mine is in danger and it is up to me to save him. I couldn’t live with myself if I’d just let him die.” You were almost shouting the last words.

Eustass Kid looked you in the eyes, his gaze hard, lips tight, as if he was barely containing himself. “Even if it meant sacrificin’ yer little escape plan?”

Your breath hitched in your throat and despite the hot water, you suddenly felt like you had swallowed an icecube. He knew.

“Wanna deny it?” he drawled, stretching the syllables of the words longer than necessary. He was angry, but he was definitely drunk too. That probably wasn’t a good combination.

You shook your head, holding his gaze. “No.”

Your answer seemed to ignite his anger even more. “Why run? Thought you shoulda know by now that it’s a fuckin’ stupid idea.” Before you could answer, he raised his hand and added, “Why now? Why choose the worst fuckin’ time during a fuckin’ fight?” His voice grew louder with every word, his face a mask of rage.

The words flew out of you before you could stop it. “I just needed to get away from you.”

“I see,” Kid scoffed, his jaw tightening.

“I don’t think you do,” you said quietly.

“I know ye think I’m dense, doc, but you’ve made yer opinion pretty damn clear. Thing is, everythin’ ye think of me is true. I’m a monster. So whaddaya think ‘s gonna happen now?” His gaze bore into you so intensely that you thought it might pierce right through you, pin you down, shatter you into tiny pieces.

“If you knew all this already, why am I even still breathing?” you asked, surprised by how calm your voice sounded. Maybe the booze had made you brave or it had been the near-death experience. Who was to tell?

The red-haired pirate didn’t answer, grinding his teeth, his gaze flickering over you. A silent curse escaped him before he tore his gaze away.

Perhaps he was going to strangle you after all. But for some reason, you didn’t think he was going to. You got on your knees and crawled awkwardly through the water in his direction, not knowing what you were trying to prove, your thoughts a whirling mess. “Maybe the answer to that question is the same reason I wanted to leave your ship and the reason I ultimately couldn’t,” you said quietly, coming to a halt between his outstretched legs, right in front of his chest. “Because I really tried leaving, you know. I thought about it ever since setting foot on your damned deck.” Without thinking, you punched your fist against his chest. “I really tried.” Hot, angry tears leaked out of the corners of your eyes. “Why won’t you let me leave?” Your fists kept meeting his chest, you panted, feeling at the brink of a meltdown, surprised by the intensity of your own outburst. Maybe you had a concussion.

Kid suddenly grabbed your wrists, restraining you without any effort. His expression was grim, but there was something else lurking beneath it. Something raw, fighting against the chains that kept it in place. “What is it ya want?” he rasped.

The vibrations of his voice brushed over you, making you shiver, erasing what little sanity was left inside your brain. You shook your head. “No more talking,” you whispered. You leaned forward, into the burning glare of his amber eyes, until your breathing mingled. The smell of booze washed over your face in hot waves, causing you to gulp and lick your lips.

Eustass Kid tightened his grip around your wrists, keeping your lips inches from touching. “You think I’m gonna talk ya down, tell ya yer not thinkin’ straight? I’m not that guy,” he sneered.

“I know,” you replied, hovering closer, the tip of your nose brushing over his. You could feel his jaw clenching.

“I don’t care that you’re clearly out of it right now. I’m gonna take full advantage of that little body of yers,” Kid spat angrily. His words were rough, a warning beneath them, but his hands were clearly pulling you closer.

“That a promise? Maybe I’m the one taking advantage of you,” you mused, faintly wondering why it seemed like the pirate was hesitating. Was he actually trying to be considerate or had he been all talk after all?

Kid scoffed. “Yeah, right. That’s cute. You couldna if ya wanted to.” When you didn’t reply, he pressed, “Fuck it, I’m already past my breakin’ point and I won’t hold back.”

“I don’t want you to hold back, Eustass Kid,” you breathed, your lips ghosting over his, getting the faintest taste of him. Satisfied, you noticed how he parted his lips slightly, allowing a small breath to escape between them.

Rough hands pulled you onto his lap and into his chest. Until this day, you hadn’t known that desperation had a taste. But when your lips finally met, it was as if every emotion you had held in the past few days was flowing out of you, mixing in between you and multiplying there. You winced when Kid bit your bruised lip, but you simultaneously leaned closer into the kiss, like you couldn’t get enough. You tasted iron. His tongue forced its way inside your mouth, conquering you without giving you the chance to adapt to his tempo.

The red-haired pirate released your wrists, his hands instead roaming over your back until they reached your butt, squeezing down hard. You took the chance to brush your fingers over his neck and through his hair, pulling yourself up on the crimson strands to deepen the kiss, causing Kid to groan in your mouth. Something trickled down your chin. The wound on your lip must have reopened. You didn’t know if he tasted it too, but at this moment Eustass Kid sucked on your lower lip as if he wanted to drain you. You mewled into the kiss, the sound muffled between you, tearing at his hair so hard that it was a miracle you didn’t rip it out.

Kid broke the kiss, but not before licking over your chin. You saw blood on the tip of his tongue. He roughly pushed you backwards, causing you to arch your back, one hand steadying you.

“Why are ya even still clothed,” he murmured, taking in your figure, before tearing the last remaining pieces of your blouse apart.

You briefly considered pointing out that he also still wore his pants, but his hands kneading your breasts through your wet bra erased all thoughts. He didn’t bother unhooking it and just pulled it down, forcing your sensitive flesh to be lifted up through the crumpled bra beneath. A sting on your left breast made you gasp, Kid had slapped you with his palm, watching your tit jiggle from the impact before darting forward, capturing your nipple with his hot mouth.

You hissed as he bit down, hard enough to leave a mark, but simultaneously soothing over it with his tongue. Your fingernails dug in his shoulder, clawing into his skin to steady yourself, but also to hurt him. It was a strange feeling, like you wanted to make him wince in pain but also like you wanted to crawl under his skin to be closer to him. Because no touch seemed to be enough to satisfy the burning sensation jolting through your body. You felt his hard length under you, causing you to moan as you grinded yourself against it, imagining it inside you already.

Kid temporarily released your nipple with a muffled groan, so you used the chance to lean forward, kissing down the side of his neck, biting and sucking on every inch of skin you could reach. You jolted forward when the pirate’s big hand met your ass, a needy gasp spilling over your lips.

“Is that all you got?” you murmured into his ear while sinking your teeth in his earlobe.

“Still can’t shut up, huh?” Eustass Kid breathed before yanking your body against his again, stepping outside the tub with you.

Your back hit the wall hard, pressing the air out of your lungs while Kid’s hands squeezed around your ass. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your legs around his hips. Before you could catch your breath, his lips came crashing down on yours once more, tongue roaming inside your mouth like he wanted to taste every inch of it. You bit down so hard on his lips that he fell back with a curse.

“I thought you didn’t want to hold back,” you panted.

The redhead growled, one hand gripping your jaw. “That fuckin’ smart mouth is gonna be the end of ya.”

You whined as his fingers tensed around your bruised skin, but you could simultaneously feel him twitch under you at your pained noise. “There he is. I know this is what gets you going,” you taunted.

With a curse, he let you slide down, only to whirl you around and press you face first into the wall. It was only the left side of your face pressing against the wood, but it still hurt enough to make you wince again. Kid roughly pulled your pants and underwear down, forcing you to spread your legs with his knee.

“Tell me, doll, does it feel easier bein’ manhandled by me so ya can keep tellin’ yerself you don’t really want this?” the red-haired captain sneered, mouth at your ear. He pinned your wrists above your head, causing you to let out a muffled scream when your right arm was protesting. “Are you embarrassed by how much ya want to be fucked by me, despite me bein’ a monster? Or are you just a sick little freak who gets off on this shit but doesn’t wanna admit it?” he asked, while his other hand found its way between your legs.

Fuck. You whimpered, trying to shake your head, your brain fuzzy, hot waves of lust pulsing through your whole body.

“No?” He panted while spreading your folds, his fingers instantly coated in your arousal. “Then how come yer fuckin’ soaked already?” He suddenly pinched your clit between his fingers, making you cry out, before pulling back his hand and inhaling your scent. You heard him popping one of his fingers into his mouth, murmuring something you couldn’t understand. Before you knew it, he pressed his slick fingers against your lips. “Open up, ye little bitch, taste yourself.”

You parted your lips only slightly but that was enough for Eustass Kid to forcefully shove four of his fingers in your mouth. You gagged, trying to pull back but it was no use.

“What’s the matter, that too much for ya already?” he asked, his voice thick with dark amusement.

He started moving his fingers back and forth, causing drool to drip down your chin. You tasted your own arousal on your tongue, felt his rough fingers in your mouth, finding it harder to breathe. And you couldn’t help but moan. You started sucking on Kid’s fingers, circling your tongue around them. He could tease you all he wanted, but you’d bet every Berry that he was just as desperate to finally bury his cock inside you.

Eustass Kid pulled his hand back, smearing more drool on your cheek in the process. “I know whatcha tryin’, it won’t work,” he said, his voice a low rumble, although his boner grinding into your backside contradicted his words.

“I thought you’re not a patient man,” you drawled, barely able to utter a full sentence any more.

“Maybe I’ll make an exception for ya,” Kid rasped, his hand finding the way between your spread legs again. “Damn, yer drippin’.”

Every touch of his fingers against your sensitive center made you gasp. It was almost too much but at the same time not nearly enough. Without warning, Kid pushed two fingers inside you, spreading your walls roughly until you whined from the burning sensation. His fingers were long and thick, hitting just the right angle in this position. You panted, already feeling your orgasm approach, your pussy clenching in anticipation. Eyes closed, lips slightly parted, you rocked back onto his fingers, the first waves of your climax brushing over you.

Suddenly, Kid pulled out and a pained gasp escaped your lips. Before you could breath out a curse, the palm of his hand had slapped your pussy, sending a jolt through your body.

“What are you—”

Eustass Kid spanked your throbbing cunt again and again, causing lewd squelching sounds to emerge every time his hand met your wetness. He wasn’t using much force, but the repeated impact on your sensitive folds was enough to make you wince. Soon, the initial pleasure was mixed with burning pain.

“S-top,” you panted, feeling as if your vision was narrowing, as if you were being reduced to the aching in between your legs.

“Already?” You could feel the pirate’s smirk on your neck. “No holdin’ back, remember?” he said with a slightly harsher slap, causing you to cry out. “Not when ya makin’ all these sweets sounds for me like the whore you are.”

Tears were leaking out of the corners of your eyes. Every time you thought you couldn’t possibly take another slap, Kid’s hand found your quivering pussy with deadly precision, making you whimper and twitch. Your vision went blurry, your pulse was pounding in your ears. All that remained was the burning sensation, the anticipation for the next slap, the mix of pain and pleasure that shot through you every time, building up your arousal until you wanted to scream out in frustration.

When Eustass Kid finally rested his palm against your slit, you had already turned into a sobbing mess against the wall. Your arms slumped down beside you as soon as he released his grip, leaving you steadied only by his hand between your legs. 

A finger under your chin forced you to look at the red-haired pirate, your tear stained face pulling a chuckle out of him. “What, no talkin’ back for once? Could have told me all ya needed was a little spanking of yer pussy,” Kid mocked, his fingertips applying pressure to your burning folds, almost making you cry out again. He whistled. “Shit, yer leakin’. Don’t tell me ya enjoyed the show as much as I did?”

Humiliation painted your cheeks red but it was true. You could feel your juices dripping down between your thighs and for all it hurt, you knew that the burning heat didn’t stem from the pain alone. You whined, feeling dizzy, exhausted, not able to utter words anymore.

“I can’t hear ya, doll, what is it?” Kid’s breath ghosted over your face, his gaze an infuriating picture of satisfaction.

You reached back until you felt his hard length under your hand, stroking it through the wet fabric of his pants. The redhead groaned, leaning into your touch, before suddenly yanking your hand back against the wall.

“Nice try, use yer words,” he grunted

You desperately tried arching your hips towards him. “Just do it,” you whimpered. You wanted to feel him inside you so badly. Why couldn’t he just be done with it?

“Thought ya needed to get away from me,” Kid said, a sharp edge to his tone.

Why was he making this so hard? You felt more tears welling out your eyes. “Fuck you,” you whispered.

“Not until ye beg me for it, doc.”

Your feet lost contact to the ground when Eustass Kid tucked you under his arm like a piece of luggage, carrying you inside the bedroom before throwing you roughly down on the bed. The impact made your body bounce up and down. A moment later, Kid was upon you, pinning you down under his massive body. You felt skin touching skin, realizing he must have undressed. His hard girth pressed between your legs, causing you to spread them slightly.

“Jeez, yer so easy for me,” the pirate snorted. “Such a slut. I should just fuck ya into the mattress here and now, use yer body as I please until yer just a drooling mess.”

Another whimper was forced out of you upon his words. You tried grinding against him without luck. “Go on then, you won’t break me,” you breathed.

“Keep on tellin’ yerself that, doll,” Kid scoffed, his thick cock twitching against your thighs, smearing pre-cum onto your skin.

Your breath caught in your throat when you felt his fingers teasing your entrance again. The friction made you shiver, your pussy still so sensitive from the spanking. Eustass Kid wasted no time before plunging three fingers inside of you, the sudden stretch making you moan. You wanted to tell him to slow down, that it was too much. But nothing but whimpers spilled from your lips when the pirate curled his fingers inside you, hitting a sweet spot that made your head fall back into the pillow.

“Shit,” you cursed, feeling your gummy walls clenching around his fingers once again.

“Right there, huh?”

You could feel Kid smirking, taste his smugness, when he pressed his lips onto yours, inhaling your moans. His fingers stretched you so good, repeatedly hitting that spot deep inside you that made your toes curl. You felt your legs starting to tremble. You were trying to calm your body down to avoid giving away how close you were again. Just a few more seconds. Kid suddenly stopped in his movements, causing your orgasm to ebb off again. You tried wiggling your hips to create the last bit of friction against his hand that you needed, but the redhead just gave you a spank between your legs that made you wail in pain and desperation.

Kid’s amber eyes bore into yours, a self-satisfied look on his face, but his voice was cold. “You should see yerself, doll, so fuckin’ pathetic. Just beggin’ for a chance to get wrecked by me. Still want to get away?”

You licked your lips, mouth feeling completely dry. “Please,” you croaked.

“That’s all ya got?” Eustass Kid mocked, using the same words you had earlier. “That won’t do. Am I going too easy on ya?”

A single finger stroking down your slit sent your whole body trembling again. You had wanted to say something but you couldn’t remember what it had been anymore. Suddenly, Kid’s face vanished and your hands were roaming over the sheets, holding on to anything to not fall apart right there and now. A skilled tongue was licking over your swollen cunt, every stroke causing little moans to spill from your lips. You heard a slurping noise as Kid sucked on your clit with an almost painful intensity, eating you out like a man starving. When he plunged his fingers inside you again you couldn’t even tell how many he was using anymore, the pleasure of his mouth on you and his fingers inside you bleeding together like ink on a map. Your hands found his crimson hair again, pulling at it with the same intensity you felt your climax approaching.

But once again, Kid stopped right before it hit you, instead biting down hard on the inside of your thigh until you were sure he drew blood. The force with which this orgasm had been ripped from you was too much to bear. A sob echoed from your lips, your body was still twitching, your pussy pulsing around his fingers. You watched through teary eyes how he lifted his gaze, drinking in your sounds of desperation, your tears. Lipstick was smeared all over his chin, his lips shiny with your arousal. His eyes were burning with lust, but there was also something dark lurking beneath them and an expression you couldn’t quite decipher. 

You shuddered, tears spilling down your cheeks. “I can’t, I— it’s too much, please.”

“Not so high and mighty anymore, huh?” Eustass Kid commented, quietly observing the tears rolling down your face. There wasn’t an ounce of mercy in his voice. “I can do this all night.” He curled his fingers that were still buried inside you, watching how you bit your lip to keep it together.

“No, I’m begging you,” you whined, voice shaky, your body screaming for release.

“What is it yer beggin’ for? Whaddaya want?” When you didn’t answer, Kid said, “Maybe I should just paint ya white and chain you to the post again, let ya think it through?”

You released a ragged breath, his words sending a chill down your spine. “No, please, I know what I want.”

“Yeah, to get away from the monster that’s givin’ ya nightmares. If you wanna leave so badly, just tell me. Tell me and I’ll drag yer ass out of here right now.”

There it was again, the bitter edge in his tone. For some reason, it made your chest ache.

You shook your head until it hurt, more tears spilling down your face. “No,” you said, your hand gripping his hair again, because it was the only part of him you could reach. “I don’t want to leave,” you whispered. “And that’s why I need to leave, why can’t you get that through your head, you fucking idiot!” You only realized that you had screamed the last words when they were ripped from your throat, echoing through the room, lingering there like hot, nasty smoke that burned in the lungs, making it hard to breathe.

Kid’s expression hardened, any hints of playfulness washed away. He pulled back his fingers, making his way to the edge of the bed.

You suddenly felt so empty it hurt more than any bruise on your body. The pirate’s arm brushed over you. You realized he was about to leave, panic rising in your chest. You darted forward, grabbing his arm with both hands, not letting go no matter how hard he tried to shake you off. “Don’t go,” you said, almost choking on the words.

Eustass Kid stilled in his movements for one moment, looking at you with an intensity that made you wince, creeping right under your skin, leaving you dizzy, aching for more. “Why not? Wanna come so badly?”

Streams of tears flowed down your face, dripping down your jaw onto your collarbones. “Because I need you, Kid” you whispered.

You hadn’t even meant to say it, hadn’t known that that would be the words spilling out of your mouth and you didn’t even know what they meant. But right in this moment, you needed him. With an intensity that scared you. You were trembling so hard that you almost couldn’t hold onto Kid’s arm anymore, your body shaking until your teeth were clattering. For a moment, the only things that kept you from drowning were your iron grip on his arm and his amber eyes that burned with a longing that made you shiver.

A tremor went through his massive figure, the strange expression back on his face. With a swift motion, you lay flat on your back again, Eustass Kid hovering over you, the tip of his cock teasing your entrance. Without warning, he buried himself inside you to the hilt. You cried out upon the sudden intrusion, despite being so wet not prepared to take his full girth. Pain shot through your core, but at the same time, you felt like you emerged from the cold waves that had threatened to drown you just moments before. You wrapped your legs around Kid’s hips, your hands roaming over his massive chest up to his face. You cupped his cheeks, his neck, his shoulders, tearing at his skin when he started setting a rough pace. His mouth conquered yours, swallowing your screams, his tongue parting your lips.

“More,” you moaned inside his mouth. “Need more.”

You were yanked up against Kid’s chest who was sitting back, holding you with both hands, using his grip to bounce you up and down on his cock. You leaned your forehead against his, panting heavily. Pearls of sweat were mingling between you, your breathing synchronized. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling yourself even closer and intensifying the friction of the movement. You felt yourself getting close again, a massive wave approaching you, making you gasp and dig your nails into Kid’s back.

“Tell me again, doll,” the red-haired pirate rasped, his voice raw, pupils blown wide.

You dug your nails deeper into his skin. “I—need you,” you replied between moans.

You felt Kid trembling under your hands. He was close too. The wave of lust flooding over you upon that realization almost made you come on the spot. There was nothing that could have prepared you for that feeling. The thought that this man was falling apart beneath your touch the same way you were was almost too much to bear.

“Say my name,” he groaned while thrusting into you with even more force, his hands grabbing your hips so hard it hurt. His lips ghosted over yours, another tremor running down his spine when you leaned into the touch.

“Kid!” you moaned while the waves of your orgasm rolled over you with such force, you saw stars for a moment. You screamed his name and your pleasure into the night until your voice became horse. Kid fucked you through your orgasm, not slowing down, until you were a panting, sweaty mess, hanging limb in his arms, shuddering from the aftershocks of your climax.

“Fuck, doll.” Your back hit the mattress again. With a loud groan, Eustass Kid pulled out, shooting ropes of hot cum onto your belly. He looked so hot with sweat dripping down his body, fisting his still throbbing cock, his lips with smeared lipstick slightly parted. He dragged his massive body to lay beside you, burying his face in your neck with a grunt. For a long time, the only sound you heard was your ragged breathing and your hammering hearts. You felt like you were floating in the bathtub again, warmth spreading through your whole body.

When Kid finally lifted his head, your vital signs had somewhat returned to normal. You were silent for a bit, maybe because neither one of you knew what to say. What was there to say? He brushed a strand of sweaty hair from your face, the same strange expression in his eyes as before. You were still on your after orgasm high, not caring for anything other than the current moment. You leaned into the touch, your lips almost brushing over his, before he pulled back. You furrowed your brows in confusion.

“What, did ya expect a kiss?” the red-haired captain rasped. A smirk raised the corners of his mouth but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Thought maybe we cuddle afterwards?”

You stared at him, his words a painful echo in your head. They left you feeling similar to the first night when he had slapped you. Only that this hurt more, you noticed to your own surprise. “Back to being an ass, huh?” you asked, not even trying to gloss over the rough edges in your tone.

“Never pretended otherwise, doc.”

“Yeah, I really shouldn’t be surprised,” you huffed.

Eustass Kid just shrugged, you weren’t even sure he had heard you. Without a word, he shoved something into your hand. It was the bloodstained towel that he had pressed against your arm. How long ago had that been? Almost mechanical, you cleaned his cum from your belly. Your head was starting to throb again.

“Didn’t wanna risk, ya know.” He made a vague gesture with his hand. “This was still fun though.” He patted your thigh, causing you to flinch back.

You scoffed and dropped the towel. “You know you don’t need to cum inside a woman to—forget it, of course you don’t. Doesn’t matter either way, I’m taking precautions. Still a doctor.”

“Well shit, could have told me before, doc. Maybe next time.”

You suddenly felt numb, a chill running down your spine that had nothing to do with your fainted orgasm. “There won’t be a next time,” you said quietly, your voice firm despite the sick feeling in your stomach.

Kid waved you off. “Yeah, until yer so desperate for my cock again, you’ll let me rail ya however I want. ’M gonna sleep now, ye should too. Or not, up to you. Night, doc.”

He turned his back to you, facing the door and switched off the lights with a flick of his wrist. You sat between him and the wall, tucking your knees to your chest to calm down. You closed your eyes, breathing through your nose. You had no idea what had just happened, even if you tried to grasp it, your head just started hurting again. Your whole body ached, which should come as no surprise considering the day. Images of it flickered through your mind. The marines, Killer, blood, so much blood, the bathtub, Kid. You stopped your whirling thoughts right there, feeling ready to throw up. How could you have been so stupid? You know you couldn’t blame it all on the booze. To think about all the words that had spilled over your lips made you want to hit your head against the wall. At least then you’d have a reason for acting like you’d lost your damn mind. But perhaps him showing his true colors again was a blessing in disguise. No grey areas any more, no second guessing. Just wrapping everything up and never looking back.

Chapter 7 - ...or Fight?

You took your satchel, hastily stuffing your most important tools and valuable ingredients inside. You knew you couldn’t take everything with you, but most things could be easily replaced at the next herb vendor. Only the loss of your daggers pained you, but what was their worth compared to your freedom?

Although the thought of being unarmed didn’t sit well with you. You glanced around. A small grin spread over your lips. The knife Kid had thrown at you was still stuck in the wooden post. For once, his inability to regulate his emotions was playing out in your favor. You almost wished that you could see his face when he’d realize his mistake. “Consider it my payment,” you murmured while approaching the post. It seemed like you were taking something of his with you after all.

You stopped in your tracks when you heard something. Footsteps. Someone was approaching the door. You froze. Shit, was he back already? Was the fight over? You would be done for if he figured out what you were attempting. Just as you were about to throw your satchel back onto the table, you heard the voices of two men. And neither of them belonged to Eustass Kid.

“What do you think, that’s his quarters?”

“Must be, it’s the largest. But I don’t think he’s inside.”

The doorknob moved and your heart nearly jumped out of your chest.

“Then why is the door locked?”

“How should I know what’s going on in a pirate’s head? Perhaps he doesn’t trust his own crew, can’t really blame him,” one of them snorted.

The other one agreed with a raspy chuckle. “You’re probably right, that damned lot knows no limits that’s for sure. I say we quickly search his cabin and head back to the deck, this scum is giving our boys a hard time.”

Your heart was pounding in your chest, your mouth was dry. There was no ounce of doubt left in you. These two weren’t pirates. They were with the marines. A grim feeling spread through your body. You tiptoed over to the knife and pulled it out, which proved harder than expected. Come on. Finally, you held the knife in your hands, almost stumbling backwards.

You knew you were at a disadvantage when it came to close combat against two trained and armed men. But you had the element of surprise on your side and some tricks up your sleeve. And you would rather go down fighting than letting bloody marines take you of all people. Cool rage flooded your veins. No, you couldn’t think about that right now, you needed to keep a clear head. You snuck up to the doorframe while the two marines were poking around in the lock.

“Got it,” one of them said self satisfied.

You held your breath, quietly counting down. The door flew open, hiding you behind it. Click. You heard two guns being cocked when the men entered. Badum, badum. Your heart was hammering so hard, it was almost painful. Like a hammer on an anvil. You were sure it would have given you away if it weren’t for the chaotic background noise.

“You stay here, I’ll take a look in the back,” the one with the raspy voice ordered.

“Sir,” the other one gave back, seemingly positioning himself at the entrance.

You waited until the one giving the orders had vanished into the bathroom, every fiber of your body screaming with anticipation. Now or never. You darted out behind the door and stabbed the waiting marine right in the neck. With a swift motion, you tore muscles and flesh open before retrieving the knife. You heard a gurgling sound. Blood was gushing out like a waterfall. You had sliced his carotid artery.

He managed to turn around on staggering lags. You faintly noticed that he was still young, probably not older than you. He gaped at you, in his eyes mixing surprise and horror. His free hand flew to his neck, trying to stop the bleeding but to no account. The young soldier made a step towards you, his mouth opening and closing without a single word coming out. He coughed, spraying blood on your face. You tried to push past his figure, ignoring the last rattling breaths of a dying man, the light in his eyes fading. His hands fell down without ever having the chance to land a single blow. They were still twitching, searching for you as if he was trying to embrace you. Blood spattered from his neck on your face, your chest, drenching you in the warmth of his life’s essence.

Grabbing his gun, you took a step back, causing his body to crumple to the ground, arms and legs twisted. You leapt for the open door. If you could just make it to the corridor, you would be out of the line of fire for the moment.

But you didn’t come far. A gunshot exploded only centimeters from your face, hitting the doorframe. You ducked and rolled to the ground, burying the gun under you in the process, your ears ringing.

“Not so fast, pirate whore,” a voice like sandpaper accompanied the steps that were closing in on you. “You’re going to pay for that.”

You raised your head just to see a barrel of a gun pointing at you from across the room.

“Don’t move—” the marine said.

But you had already thrown the knife. He tried to dodge but it still hit him in the shoulder, making him curse. He was older than his dead comrade but also taller. His black hair was streaked with grey strands and a black moustache was growing over his meaty face.

Your right arm fell down and you winced. He had tried to shoot you but the bullet had only grazed you. It still hurt like hell. You got on your knees and took the gun in both hands. You were about to shoot the marine, your right arm trembling with pain. But you were too slow.

With two steps, the navy soldier had closed in on you, knocking the gun out of your hands with a kick of his foot. It slid across the wooden floor in the direction of the open door. Another kick knocked the air out of your lungs and sent you to the ground, followed by one against your head. You groaned in pain, trying to cover your face to prevent further damage. The soldier wasted no time in pinning you down under him. 

“Fucking bitch,” the man spit while holding his shoulder, the other one around your throat.

“Go to hell,” you managed to croak out, trying to push him off. You felt panic rushing through you as he looked at you with so much disdain, you knew your chances for survival had just dropped to zero. But you would be damned if you wasted your breath to beg a marine for your life. Instead, you tried pushing his hand off your throat, desperate for air.

The man released his hand from the knife in his shoulder and punched his fist in your face, sending your head flying to the side. He hit you again. Something cracked. You tasted blood on your tongue, your vision getting blurry.

When you didn't put up a fight any more, the soldier sat back panting, taking the first good luck at you. A surprised expression flickered over his face, followed by a nasty grin that would have made your stomach drop if it weren’t for the growing dizziness overwhelming you.

“Wait a minute, I know you from your wanted poster. You’re the one they call The Raven Doc, your bounty is at 12 Million Berries. What is a nobody like you doing with the Kid Pirates? What is Eustass Kid up to?” His voice grew louder with every second.

You only groaned as a response, his voice was a painful echo in your head, your thoughts a fuzzy mess. Your eyelids were fluttering shut.

A stinging pain pulled you back to reality. The soldier had slapped you right across the face. “Oh no, you’re not going to pass out on me now, not before you tell me what’s going on here. If you cooperate with me, I might even take you with us alive.” He shook you as if to emphasize his words, involuntarily giving your arms some range of motion back.

You seized the opportunity. A small flask you had hidden in your left sleeve rolled into your hand. You looked up at the redfaced marine, his face a distorted mask of disgust. The feeling is mutual, you piece of shit.

You coughed up some blood. “Please,” you whimpered. “I don’t want to die.”

The soldier’s expression changed into a mean smirk, savoring his superiority. “Then start talking, pirate scum, I don’t have all day.”

You nodded obediently and felt him loosening his grip further. You suddenly flashed him a wide grin, causing him to flinch back. That’s what you had hoped for. You grabbed the flask tightly, opened it with a flick of your thumb and threw the contents in his face. An inhuman howl followed your action as the liquid started to etch through his skin.

He fell back on the ground, dropping his gun, his hands covering his face. “My eyes,” he screamed. “What did you do to me you fucking bitch? I’m going to break every bone in your body!”

His right hand aimed for you, but you managed to duck and crawl back in the direction of the door. Only a few more inches. Just when your fingers brushed over the gun, the soldier got a hold of your feet, yanking you back.

“You’re not getting away,” he yelled in blind rage.

You desperately reached for the gun, but you were once again pinned to the ground on your back. Your arms were roughly held over your head, sending jolts of pain through you. The soldier’s right fist found your temple, making you wince again. Even without his vision he could still aim at the right spot. In an act of desperation, you jerked your knee up as hard as you could. Since the marine had been busy with holding down your arms, he had let his guard down for the rest of your body. With a pained yell he rolled down, crouching on the floor, wheezing.

A shot broke through his curses and screams. His body went limp, the arm covering his face fell down. You panted, leaning with your back against the doorframe, the gun still in your hand. Your head was killing you, your vision still blurry. You wanted nothing more than to close your eyes and just pass out. But the noises of the ongoing battle reminded you that you were still in danger. Maybe someone would come looking for these two men.

You scrambled to your feet, hissing and cursing. You limped towards the body, retrieving the knife. He was barely recognizable any more, the acidic mixture had etched itself deeply into his skin. The bullet had been too merciful for him. You felt blood dripping down your right arm, but there wasn’t time for that right now.

Armed with the gun and the knife, you dragged yourself out of Kid’s cabin, slowly staggering through the corridor. A white and blue hat appeared in the distance, blocking out the sunlight. You didn't even hesitate before pulling the trigger. A scream. But the man was only wounded, stumbling towards you. You weren’t the best at handling guns, usually sticking to your daggers or poisoned throwing knives. But since you only got one knife, you weren’t throwing away your life’s insurance again. And at the moment, you could hardly look straight ahead. But things didn’t look better for your opponent. Since he had just entered the stairs, his eyes weren’t completely used to the dimly lit corridor yet. While trying to find his balance again, he fired a desperate shot at you, missing you completely. Too bad. You fired again. And again. And again. Even when the soldier had fallen down the stairs and his body had stopped twitching.

You stepped over the body, dragging yourself up the stairs. Blood dripped down your face and you saw red. You didn’t even know if it was the marine’s or your own any more. You felt your body aching, but you knew all too well that you should be in way more pain right now than what you were feeling. Adrenaline was pumping through your veins alongside your hatred for the navy soldiers, fueling you with a rage you usually kept locked away deep down inside you.

You crouched down before stepping onto the deck, hiding behind a barrel. The battle was still ongoing and it was a bloody mess. By the looks of it, the marines had caught the Kid Pirates by surprise and they were stronger in numbers. But the pirates were tougher and not above playing foul. And they seemed to have a devil fruit user in their midst or at least someone who was able to breathe fire. You recognized the man with the light blue hair and the stitches on his face, faintly remembering someone calling him Heat. He turned the screaming soldiers into living torches. The smell of burned flesh made your stomach turn.

Luckily, the main battle took place on the other side of the deck, which left an opening right in front of your nose. You glanced at the railing. You had landed in a little bay, the beach close by. You just had to climb down the rope ladder, take one of the small boats and reach the beach. Your hands started trembling. Or perhaps taking a boat would be too obvious, maybe you should just swim. You groaned. It wasn’t a long distance, but it would still be hell for your body. The alternatives were getting caught by the marines or killed by Eustass Kid as soon as he arrived, so a swim in the ocean didn’t sound too bad in comparison.

You waited for another fireball as a distraction and prepared for running towards the railing. There. One, two, three, you counted silently before darting up and making a run for the wooden barrier. You stumbled, feeling dizzy again, but you still pushed through. There was no going back now. With your heart racing, you climbed over the railing, your feet briefly kicking into nothing before finding the rope ladder. You observed the battlefield. Had someone seen you? No, and the battle had moved even further back, the marines slowly but surely losing ground. They didn’t stand a chance against the pirates, even without their captain. Good, you thought. If it was up to you, every single marine soldier could go to hell. With a last glance back, you started to climb down.

And then you saw it. Your breath caught in your throat. A marine was about to enter the corridor leading to Killer’s room. You stopped in your movement, nearly about to scream look out. But it would be impossible to hear above all the shouting and firing of gunshots. Just go, you thought. Killer wasn’t your friend, if anything he was your enemy. You and your crew would be better off without the Massacre Soldier. So why weren’t you moving?

“Dammit,” you cursed through clenched teeth. Tears of frustration welled in your eyes upon the realization. You couldn’t leave now, not after what you had just witnessed and the knowledge about what would happen if you turned your back. Because Killer might not have been your friend, but he still was your patient. A patient you would directly condemn to die if you gave in to your selfish motives now. And you had once made a promise to somebody. The marine vanished into the shadows of the corridor. You wiped your tears away, there wasn’t any use in dwelling in thoughts about what could have been once you made a decision.

You made your way along the rope ladder, half guarded by the railing. When you reached the end of the rope, you quietly pulled yourself up again, crouching behind a couple of boxes. You briefly considered approaching one of the Kid Pirates further down the deck, but chances were you’d end up with a bullet in your head before you could even manage to get there. You darted towards the corridor without the fighting men noticing, smelling gun powder and blood. The air hung heavy with smoke and everyone was busy dodging blades and fireballs. Upon reaching the door, you slipped inside, finally able to straighten up again. You tried to make out any noise that might help you prepare for what was happening, but all you heard were the sounds of battle and your own ragged breathing. You were barely holding yourself upright but Killer was running out of time. This was it.

As quietly as possible, you snuck to his door, which was left slightly open, and glanced inside. The soldier was standing next to the bed, right next to Killer’s head, a sword in his right hand. He was murmuring to himself. His words made your stomach churn more than the smell of the burning bodies.

“Can’t believe my luck,” the man said. “Of all the men on Eustass Kid’s crew I’m running into the Massacre Soldier, meaning his bounty will be mine alone.” His smug face with the pointy nose and the narrow eyes reminded you of a rat. His hands were trembling, but you realized to your disgust that it wasn’t because of hesitation, but because of anticipation. He was enjoying this, killing an unconscious man. So much for honor. Fucking marines, all the same rotten cowards.

You kicked the door open, gun pointing at the man. He whirled around. Too late. You pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened. You pulled again. The gun clicked, but no shot was fired. Fuck. That’s why you hated guns. You could never remember how many shots you had left. You threw the gun in his face, trying to distract him to leap at him with the knife. 

The marine soldier had been surprised by your appearance, but he quickly regained his focus, dodging the flying gun. He crashed into you before you could even attempt to make your first attack. “No bullets left, heh?” He breathed in your face.

The impact sent you stumbling backwards. You barely managed to dodge the swing of his sword aimed at your neck. It hit the wall behind you mere inches from your face. Before you could regain your stand you were roughly pushed against the wall. You knew this was the end. You were too slow, too worn out. The surprise had been your only shot and you wasted it. You tried to wiggle free, but the marine had you cornered in an instant. With your last remaining ounce of strength you stabbed the man in his flank, causing him to drop his sword. Two hands closed around your throat, slowly starting to block your airways. You coughed and squirmed, managing to stab the soldier again, but you could feel your grip weakening. The marine didn’t budge and you felt your life slipping away from you. It wasn’t as easy as it looked to stab someone to death. You needed to cut deep enough, with the right force and angle. And you had neither enough mobility nor strength left to accomplish either one of those. You were running out of time. Still you didn’t let go of the knife, trying to grind the metal inside his flesh, hoping to hit one of his vital organs with sheer luck.

Your vision flickered. The smirking face of the marine was hovering in front of you. His lips were moving but you couldn’t grasp the words anymore. Maybe he was taunting you for your pathetic stabbing attempts. It didn’t matter what he said. The only thing you regretted at this moment was that it had to be a marine of all things to deliver the final blow. So in the end, you would share her fate after all. You could almost hear her calling out your name. You closed your eyes. You couldn’t fight any more. Didn’t want to.

Bang! Suddenly, the grip around you was released, something wet hit your face and you fell to the ground, onto the warm body of the soldier. You sputtered and coughed as oxygen found its way back into your lungs. You took a wheezing breath, and another. You were alive. Blinking through your teary eyes, the first thing you saw was the marine’s face in front of you. And you heard a voice. Was he still alive? His lips weren’t moving. You propped yourself on your elbows, pulling yourself upwards until you were leaning over his face. His body was wet. Red spots were leaking through his white uniform, spreading like a flower opening its petals. Something sharp poked into your fist. You looked down. You still had the knife in your hand. You heard the voice again, causing a shot of adrenaline to flood through you.

“You’re not going to get me,” you rasped, before burying the knife right into his heart. You felt a familiar force overwhelm you, but you didn’t care. The only thing you cared about was hurting this man until you were sure he wasn't posing a threat to you anymore. You pulled the knife out and stabbed him again. “You're never going to get me, you won’t take me away like you did with her,” you screamed, your voice sounding broken. Every word hurt. You didn’t care. Again and again, you buried the metal in the marine’s chest. “I hope you rot in hell for what you’ve done, all of you,” you sobbed, your vision getting blurry again. Tears spilled down your cheeks, onto the chest of the man that just resembled a bloody mess at this point. You blinked. Did he just call you doc? No, that was impossible, he was dead, wasn’t he? He had to be!

“Doc!”

You knew that voice. Slowly, you lifted your gaze. Eustass Kid was crouching on the other side of the body, his gaze fixated on you. Splashes of blood covered his face, his expression was something you’d never seen before. How long had he been watching? You suddenly remembered the gunshot. That had been him.

“You—” you croaked, voice horse. You didn’t know what you had been wanting to say.

“Doc, the knife.” Kid’s voice was firm, demanding.

You stared at him. The knife? You followed his gaze to your fist. The knife. You shook your head. No, you needed the knife. “No, I—we were attacked, the marines are here,” you finally managed, clasping the knife even harder.

The red-haired pirate furrowed his shaved brows. “The fight is over, doc. We won. The man is dead. Now hand me the knife.” His fingers brushed over your fist.

You realized that your hands were trembling. “I can’t move my fingers,” you whispered.

Kid took your fist between his palms. He was almost gentle while releasing one finger after another from your tight grip around the knife’s hilt. “Atta girl,” he murmured before storing the knife in his belt. “Let’s go.” And with that, he grabbed your left arm, pulling you up to stand beside him.

You glanced at Killer, who was almost hidden entirely by Kid’s massive figure. “Killer?” You just asked weakly.

“Still sleepin’ like a baby,” Eustass Kid replied.

“Good,” you croaked. At least you almost dying hadn’t been for nothing.

“Ye can walk?”

You nodded, but as soon as Kid let go of your arm, your legs were giving in.

“Yeah, doin’ really well,” the pirate said dryly before lifting you up and carrying you outside.

You whinced when Kid brushed over your right arm, but for once, you were too tired to complain and you were glad you weren’t hanging upside down for a change. The sun had just started sinking at the horizon. The deck was a mess. Bodies were laying around in grotesque ways, some of them missing limbs—or their heads. But at first glance you only spotted marine bodies. A few of them were still alive, crawling over the deck while the Kid Pirates finished them off. Emma was among them, her shirt torn, expression grim. You saw Dive, pale and bloody but with a look of determination on her face you hadn’t seen before. A couple of the higher ranking marines were tied to the mast. Wire, the huge Kid Pirate with the dark brown cloak emerged before them like an omen of death. You knew what was going to happen to them. And by the looks of it, they knew it too. Everything became a blur. You buried your face in Kid’s chest, trying to block out the sight of death, the smell of desperation and sounds of dying men. You felt the pirate tense under you. You closed your eyes, feeling like nothing mattered anymore.

Kid stepped into the corridor, going down the steps. 

“Careful,” you whispered.

The captain stumbled upon the body of the dead marine and cursed.

“Told you,” you said weakly.

Upon reaching his quarters, Eustass Kid stopped so abruptly your head hit his chest hard.

“Ouch,” you whined.

“Fuckin’ hell,” Kid muttered while stepping over the two dead marine soldiers. He set you down on the bed. “Did you kill both of ‘em?” You heard the disbelief in his voice.

You let yourself sink on the pillows. “Yes,” you breathed out.

“How?”

The bed was so soft. You felt your head clearing slowly. “Let’s see,” you drawled. “The first one with your knife, the second one with his gun.”

Kid sat down beside you, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Always so fuckin’ literal,” he said, more to himself than to you. “What happened to his face?” He asked, louder, gesturing to the older marine on the floor.

You glanced up, trying to keep your thoughts together. “Oh, yes, I kind of poisoned him, I needed a distraction.”

Eustass Kid snorted. “Fuckin’ freak.”

“You’re the one to talk,” you replied, coughing up some blood. You winced. Maybe you had cracked a rib.

Kid eyed you. “Pullin’ through, doc? Yer bleedin’ all over my sheets.”

You waved him off, somehow feeling almost lightheaded now, trying to shoot him a grin. Smiling hurt too. Then the last part of his sentence sunk in. “Shit,” you tried to scramble yourself up to get a look at your arm. You were indeed still bleeding. That explained the lightheaded feeling. You couldn’t help but burst out laughing, although it sounded more like a ragged cough again.

Eustass Kid crouched before you, roughly grabbing your shoulders. “Spit it out, you maniac, what’s happening? Yer bleedin’ out or somethin’?”

You shook your head, somehow amused by the way he glared at you. “Nah, probably not, his bullet just grazed me. I think it’s just the shock.”

Kid cursed something under his breath before unceremoniously ripping your blouse open, stripping the fabric away from your right arm, not caring about your protest. He grabbed your head and forced you to look at your arm, making you wince again.

“Yes or no, doc?”

“Ugh, I don’t know,” you whined, pain shooting through you. “I should probably take care of that.”

You reached with your left hand into your satchel, until your fingers brushed over your flask with ethanol and your bandages.

Kid briefly disappeared and returned with a clean towel, pressing it down hard on your arm.

You flinched, trying to wiggle free but he kept you in place with his other hand. “You’re hurting me,” you cried out.

“Don’t give a damn.”

After a few minutes, he released you. You took a glance. The bleeding had stopped. You poured some ethanol over the wound and tried to bandage the arm, which proved quite difficult with only your left hand. Impatiently, Kid ripped the bandage out of your hand and finished your work by tying the knot slightly too tight for your liking.

“What about your face?” The red-haired pirate asked.

“What about it?” You shot back irritated.

Kid tapped his index finger against your jaw, making you flinch back. “Looks like you’ve been dragged to hell and back.” His finger was bloody when he pulled back.

“It’s not my blood.” You cleared your throat. “For the most part,” you clarified. “I took a few punches though.”

Eustass Kid buried his face in his hands and cursed something that sounded like “you’re killing me.”

You didn’t understand why he was being so on edge. Maybe more of his men had died than you realized. Or—your blood ran cold—did he figure out that you had planned to run away? No, you tried to calm yourself. You wouldn’t be breathing anymore if that was the case. The easiest explanation was that he still needed you since Killer hadn’t woken up yet. You dying now would be an inconvenience.

For a while, neither one of you spoke a word. You felt the tension in your body slowly fading, being replaced with a dull throbbing in your temples. You almost fell back into the pillows when the ship suddenly started moving.

Eustass Kid jumped up. “Fuckin’ finally,” he breathed out. “Let’s leave this shithole.” He limped to his chair and sank down.

You observed him quietly. He was in pain. No wonder he was in such a foul mood. “You’re hurt.”

He glared at you. “Just a scratch.”

“Doesn’t seem like it.”

“Just leave it.”

Without thinking, you pulled yourself to your feet, moving towards him.

“I said leave it, why is it that you can never fuckin’ listen?” He sounded furious.

You froze, confusion pumping through you. And anger. “What’s the matter with you? Are you angry we got ambushed? Don’t take it out on me, you were the one wanting to stop and taking an unnecessary risk. You left.”

“What’s it to you?” Kid snarled.

“What?”

“Why do you care, doc?”

“I—” You weren’t sure what you were talking about anymore. And if you were being honest you didn’t want to know. What you knew was that there was a medical problem right in front of you that you could fix.

“This is getting ridiculous,” you hissed. You made another step until you stood right in front of the pirate captain and dropped to your knees. “Lose the pants,” you commanded.

Something flickered over Kid’s face, but he brushed it off and replaced it with a smirk. “See, if you wanted to get into my pants so badly, all ye had to do was ask,” he grunted. He started unfastening his belt and wiggled himself out of his pants until they dropped to his feet, leaving him in his underwear.

You gaped at him. “A scratch, yeah?” He had been shot in the upper thigh and by the looks of it, the bullet was still inside. “Why didn’t you pull it out with your powers?”

Eustass Kid clenched his teeth, seemingly considering to rip off your head. “Don’t ya think I’d already done that if possible? Somethin’s not right. My guess, bullet is made of lead or silver, probably combined with seastone. Whatever it is, ’s not magnetic. I can’t move shit,” he spat

You nodded. Of course, that explained it. And it made it even more important to remove it. You felt your focus shifting entirely to the task at hand. The wound wasn’t bleeding much. That would change when you extracted the projectile. And for that you would need to cut him open, at least a little bit. You cracked your knuckles, the steps for the procedure appearing before your inner eye. You placed the bandages and ethanol on the table, before pulling a belt, cotton pads, tweezers, a needle and thread as well as a small box with a tiny scalpel out of your bag, placing everything on the table.

The pirate captain followed every movement with his eyes. “You think I’ll let ya cut me with that?”

“Yes, I think, you will,” you replied absently. “Take that,” you said, handing him a piece of leather.

“Why would I need that?” Kid growled.

“To bite down on, this is going to hurt.”

Eustas Kid threw it on the table. “Fuck this.”

You shrugged. “Your funeral.”

Carefully, you wrapped the belt around his leg, securing it over the bullet wound. Maybe you needed to invest in longer belts. This one barely fit. Your gaze fell upon your hands. That wouldn’t do.

You stood up. “I need to wash my hands.”

You vanished into the bathroom to scrub the blood off your hands and arms. You flinched when you looked in the mirror, almost not recognizing the face staring back at you. You looked like you had bathed in blood. Your lip was split open and swollen, bruises were covering the right side of your face and your neck. No wonder everything hurt. “Bastard,” you cursed.

You returned to the red-haired captain. He hadn’t moved. Good. You disinfected your hands and your scalpel, before looking up.

“Let’s get this shit over with,” Eustass Kid growled.

You took a deep breath before making the cut. The scalpel slid through the first layers of skin like butter. That would be enough. You stilled the bleeding with a cotton pad, while simultaneously taking the tweezers to try and get the bullet out. You made your way inside with it until the tips scraped over a hard surface. But you couldn’t get a grip. You furrowed your brows. The projectile had to be tiny.

“Got it?” Kid asked through clenched teeth.

“Not yet,” you replied. “Hold still will you.” You tried again, the tip of your tongue between your lips. But it was no use, the projectile remained stuck. You looked up to Kid. “I need to go in with my fingers, the projectile is stuck,” you explained. “This is going to hurt even more but I’ll make it quick.”

Captain Kid just gave you a scowl. That was all you needed. You carefully moved your thumb and index finger into the wound, forcing the flesh to spread slightly. Kid cursed under his breath but you were too concentrated to hear the words. There! You felt it. It really was tiny. Luckily, it had not gotten in very deep, but was stuck in the thick muscle tissue. Slowly, you closed your fingers around the projectile, wiggling it backwards inch by inch.

“There,” you exclaimed, dropping the bloody projectile on the table.

The redhead just glared at you, his hands gripping the armrests so tightly his knuckles had turned white. He flicked his wrist. Your scalpel flew into his hand. “Fucking knew it,” the said, staring at the tiny projectile.

The rest of the procedure was easy. “Still the bleeding, disinfect, stitches,” you murmured, repeating the words like a mantra while executing the steps accordingly. When you had bandaged the leg and removed the belt, you let out a satisfied sigh. As a doctor, this had been almost a successful day.

“You got the booze?” You asked, getting back on your feet.

Eustass Kid stared at you. “What?”

“The booze. The reason for the stop that almost got us all killed?”

"Yeah, we got it,” Kid answered in a low voice.

“Great, because I really could use a drink right now.”

The red-haired pirate shook his head, snorting. “You know doc, that may be the first thing ye said today that makes any sense.” He got up, securing his pants and made his way to the door.

“You really shouldn’t put too much pressure on—”

He waved you off. “For once in yer life, just shut up.”

You crossed your arms. Ungrateful son of a bitch.

Maybe Kid had heard your thoughts or maybe he had sensed your glare in his back. He turned around, rubbing his jaw. “Takes more than a bullet to take me down.” His expression tightened when his gaze found yours. “Seriously, stop with that look, it’s drivin’ me mad,” he barked. “Worry about yer own shit,” he gestured to your face, about to turn around again. “This may take a while.”

“What do you mean?”

“You saw that there were survivors?”

You nodded, a bad feeling spreading through your chest.

“We’re gonna use ‘em to send a message.”

Chapter 6 - Flight...

To your surprise, it really seemed that way. Soon Kid started snoring, making you consider strangling him. But it was somehow comforting to know that he was actually knocked out. You focused on the sound of the waves crashing against the ship. The stoic creaking and groaning of the wood reminded you that you were protected from the sea’s harsh temperament. It resembled the nights you had spent in your own cabin. Even the smell of freshly ground herbs was familiar. Closing your eyes, you could briefly imagine yourself back on the Mollymawk. You smiled.

That was until Kid made a particularly loud grunt, tearing your thoughts apart without mercy. You flinched, releasing a sigh. Back to reality. Images of the day flickered through your mind. You felt that despite some minor lapses, you had managed to play your part convincingly. At least he didn’t seem intent on killing you anymore, so that was a victory of sorts. Without you noticing, your fingers traced over your lips. You froze, pulling back. Perhaps you had gone too far with the lipstick, considering his reaction. You couldn’t wait to finally leave all this behind, and most of all Eustass Kid. Just when you thought you’d be never able to find rest beside the pirate captain, sleep lulled you in like a thick, dark blanket.

*

You awoke when the first sunbeams stole their way into the captain’s quarters. You glanced at the redhead, who was still asleep. Even now, a grim expression remained on his face, his shaved brows slightly furrowed, his lips tight. You shrugged. The longer he was asleep, the better. You quietly got up and tiptoed to the bathroom, not wanting to wake him up.

Yawning at your reflection in the mirror, you felt like you could’ve used some more sleep. But once you opened your eyes, there was usually no going back to sleep anyways. The bathroom mirror reminded you mercilessly about another thing you couldn’t take back. Fuck. You groaned while taking in the purple stain on your lips and the prominent bitemark on your neck, that was slowly starting to bruise. You brushed your teeth and hopped briefly under the shower, the stain on your lips only fading slightly. You cursed yourself for your brilliant plan before thinking better of it. Why should you take responsibility for anything when clearly only one person was to blame for all this? Looking like this would confirm everyone’s suspicions, but what did it really matter? You sighed.

You wrapped a towel around you and snuck back into the bedroom, confirming that Eustass Kid was still asleep, before turning to the cabinet. But something on the table caught your eye. Were that—?

“Ouch,” a sharp pain shot through your right foot, you had stumbled upon a chair leg.

“Fuckin’ hell, what’s with the noise, doc,” Kid drawled.

You whirled around. The pirate shot you a glare. Your mouth went dry. You had woken him up. And by the looks of it, he wasn’t in a good mood.

“I’m sorry, I stumbled—”

“Not so loud, gooddammit,” he groaned, massaging his temples.

Despite your better judgement, you studied his face. “Are you hungover?”

A knife flew past your right cheek, slightly brushing your skin before hitting the post behind you.

“Shut up or I’ll make you shut up,” Kid growled.

You glared at him, pulse pounding in your ears. This insufferable prick. You were tempted to grab the knife and throw it back. You had a good aim with blades. Instead, you stalked towards the workbench, cursing under your breath. To calm down, you pulverized some hard seeds, imagining Kid’s face while you ground down the mortar with unnecessary force. It felt like you were back to square one. Why couldn’t he control his goddamn emotions for once?

You only stopped when you had produced the finest powder ever. At this point, it resembled dust more than anything else. During the process, an idea had begun to form in your mind. Maybe the situation presented a chance for you, even if he didn’t deserve it. You carefully mixed the contents of a few different jars and flasks together in a glass of water. With a pipette, you dripped the last ingredient in. One, two, three, and one for good measure, you mumbled to yourself, remembering his massive figure.

Maybe that would be the end of you, but there was only one way to find out. You straightened your shoulders and made your way to Eustass Kid on the bed. The look he shot you almost made you turn back. Perhaps seeing him suffer would give you more satisfaction after all. Luckily for him, the rational part of you took the upper hand as usual.

The red-haired captain eyed you warily when you approached. “What’s this about, doc?” He snarled.

You sat down on the edge of the bed. “This will help with the hangover,” you said flatly, holding the glass out to him.

Kid made no move to take the glass.

“It’s not poisoned, it will make you feetl better.”

Still nothing.

You rolled your eyes. “Fine, I'll go first, you’re such a—”

As you were about to take a sip, a strong hand around your wrist stopped you.

Your heart skipped a beat as his iron grip closed around your arm, releasing a jolt of adrenaline. Your instincts were kicking in, but you resisted the urge to shake him off, merely arching a brow. “Changed your mind?”

“Shut up and gimme that,” Kid barked, almost ripping the glass from your hands. He downed the mixture like a shot, pushing the empty glass back at you. “Fuckin’ disgusting,” he spat.

“See, if I wanted to poison you, I would at least make it tasty,” you said dryly, your heartbeat calming down again.

Eustass Kid just shook his head slightly, causing another groan. “How long until…?” He made a vague gesture with his hand.

“You should feel the first effects pretty fast, even faster when you drink a good portion of water too.”

“The fuck yer waitin’ for then?”

You gritted your teeth as you got up, swallowing down all the words on your tongue that desperately wanted to lash out. When you returned with a big glass of water, Kid chugged it down in seemingly a single gulp. Wiping his mouth, he handed you the glass back, his gaze brushing over your chest. You instinctively looked down. The towel you were wearing had slipped down without you noticing, almost fully revealing your left breast.

You cleared your throat and fixed the issue while turning around. Faintly you remembered that your initial goal had been the cabinet to get dressed. Before you had been distracted by something on the table. You approached it, eying the pile of clothes. It was a dark purple blouse with ruffles, black leather pants with cutouts on the sides of the legs and a matching black underbust corsage to hold the blouse in place. You felt your face getting flushed. There was also a pair of underwear, looking way fancier than what you usually wore. The clothes were way too tiny to fit Eustass Kid and it clearly weren’t your old white blouse and simple brown cotton pants.

You turned around with what you hoped was a straight face, pointing at the clothes. “Is that for me?”

“‘m not gonna wear it,” Kid grunted.

You were trying really hard to not imagine the pirate captain in some lacy underwear. Instead you picked up the clothes, the fabric of the blouse feeling smooth under your skin. “Thank you.”

Kid didn’t reply. You made your way to the bathroom again, a strange feeling in your chest. You realized you were angry again. How could he throw a knife at you one moment and give you fancy clothes the next? It was infuriating. What upset you even more was how perfectly they fit you, how gently the silken fabric of the blouse played around your figure, the pants highlighting your legs. You didn’t want to feel good about anything on this bloody ship, didn’t want to feel like you owed the red-haired pirate anything. Why did he feel the need to complicate this deal any chance he got? It was messing with your head more than you’d like to admit.

The blouse was a bit low cut for your taste and you usually preferred your pants to be a bit wider, but you had to admit that you had never worn something this unique. Perhaps it was true what he had said about women waiting in line for him and these were the clothes of one of his girlfriends. Well, at least they had good taste in clothes.

When you returned to the bedroom, Kid was sitting bare chested at the workbench, screwing something together. It looked like a miniature of an arm made of different weapons and scrapes of metal.

You cleared your throat. “Feeling better already?”

Eustass Kid gave you a brief nod, but his gaze was lingering slightly longer than necessary on your appearance. Maybe it reminded him of the last woman who wore this outfit.

“Are we going to see Killer?” You asked.

The redhead grunted while getting up. “Patience doc, gotta get ready first.”

You nodded, stepping aside to let him pass through. Eustass Kid stilled briefly in his movements, before turning around again. Without a word, he grabbed the cosmetic jar with the lip stain and vanished into the bathroom. You heard water running and sat down at the workbench. Maybe you could use the time to prepare some more medications.

It wasn’t for long that the pirate captain returned, but you didn’t turn around to face him since there was a good chance that he was naked again. To avoid thinking about that, you scraped out the contents of some pods and stored them in the corresponding jars.

“Sure you’re not some kind of miracle worker, doc?”

Kid’s voice snapped you out of your process. You turned around to see he was wearing his usual gear of cape and goggles, his lips were shining purple and his mood seemed to have approved. 

You furrowed your brows briefly before grasping the meaning of his words. “And all it took was me curing a common hangover and making lipstick?”

The red-haired pirate smirked. “Yer most useful skills so far. Now move yer ass, time to work.”

You got up to walk beside him and followed him to the upper deck. It was a beautiful sunny day, a little bit too calm for your taste. Little wind meant you were going slow. You sighed, your mind brimming with impatience.

Eustass Kid didn’t seem to notice. He was busy talking with two of his men, while you stood back, looking over the railing. God, how you missed being on the open ocean. Not that you hadn’t spent a lot of time in the infirmary of your ship back then, since it served as your personal chambers at the same time. But the sense of freedom, calmness and excitement that simultaneously rolled over you in moments like these was only possible while gazing at the horizon.

Barking laughter dragged you back to the present. “Shit, boss, we were sure ya wouldn’t get up until noon after downin’ that last bottle.”

The red-haired captain laughed and patted the man who had spoken on the shoulder. “Helps with soberin’ up when ya got a woman warmin’ yer cock.”

Of course. You rolled your eyes, trying to push your growing irritation down. They were talking like you weren’t even here. You instinctively covered the bite mark on your neck with your hand.

“Don’t need to tell me twice, boss, maybe ye should keep her around.”

“Maybe I will,” Eustass Kid winked.

The words sent a shiver down your spine. Blood was rushing through your ears. Before you could restrain yourself, you blurted out, “Maybe you should consider sobering up before crawling into bed, that way you’d perhaps manage to actually get hard.”

The world was turned upside down when Kid threw you over his shoulder. “But you still choked on me,” he shouted.

A stinging pain spread over your backside. Under the howling laughter from his crew, Eustass Kid had spanked you. You gasped, partially from the pain, partially from the shock. And then he did it again, even harder this time, making your body jolt. An angry heat flooded your cheeks while the pirate captain carried you to Killer’s room. Dive wasn’t there when you entered. Smart girl.

Kid slammed the door shut and yanked you roughly against the wall, his leg between yours cutting off your mobility. A fire blazed in his amber eyes, heat radiating off his chest. You closed your eyes, knowing you were done for.

“Look at me, doll,” Kid snarled. A tight grip around your jaw made you open your eyes again. “You already forgot our little game? Seemed like ya needed a reminder.” 

You wanted to tell him to go to hell but since talking was practically impossible you just glared at him.

“Dontcha look at me like that, you had it comin’. You wanna humiliate me in front of my men? I’ll pay ya back double. No matter what, in the end I always win.”

You tried to speak again, but the grip around your jaw only tightened.

“Don’t even fuckin’ think about complaining,” he growled. “Pull somethin’ like that again, I’ll spank you raw until you can’t sit for a week.”

His words sent a strange tingle through your body. You pressed your palms against the pirate’s chest, wanting to push him off you, but he didn’t budge. At least he released the grip around your jaw.

“I get it, okay,” you panted through clenched teeth. “Now get off of me.”

“Nah, ya can do better than that.”

“I’m sorry,” you said hastily. You needed space.

“What for?”

“For trying to embarrass you.” He was way too close. You could see a curious frown appear on his forehead.

The redhead pressed his leg further between yours and your breath hitched, almost sounding like a whimper. You felt the flush from your face spreading over your chest and further down your body. Fuck, no. 

“You mean for actin’ like a little bitch in front of my men?”

You clenched your fists, knowing what he wanted to hear. You needed to get away. “I’m sorry for acting like a—a little bitch,” you spat, face burning.

Eustass Kid suddenly smirked, but he didn’t retreat an inch. “What’s the matter, doll? Don’t tell me that’s turnin’ ya on?”

He ground his knee over your groin again, making you release a breath. “N-no, you’re mad.”

“Yer a bad liar, doc. I knew you were into the nasty shit.” Kid’s smirk split his face in half, revealing his teeth like fangs. Slowly, he hovered closer.

You struggled with all the strength you could muster beneath him, trying to wiggle free. But you could have as well tried to move a mountain. This couldn’t be happening, this was Eustass “Captain” Kid. How would you ever face your crew again?

Kid lowered his face until the tip of his nose almost touched yours. “Tell me, doll,” he whispered. “How desperately do you want me to spread yer legs and fuck ya against this wall right now for anyone to hear?”

“Aren’t you a poet?” You hissed, your mouth going dry.

“Ye don’t want one.” His fingers wandered down your neck.

“You don’t know s—shit about what I want.” Your gaze briefly flickered to his lips, shining purple, teasing you with their lazily raised corners.

You tore your gaze away but it didn’t escape Kid’s attention, pulling out an amused chuckle. “I know you want me to fill you up with my cock, make ya sing a sweet poem for me. Bet yer a screamer.”

You gulped, practically feeling his smirk on you. “I bet all you ever fuck is your own hand,” you croaked. You felt his fingers slowly roam over your collarbones, up to your breasts, his touch burning through the fabric. “I—” The room felt like it was spinning, the breath of Kid ghosting against your own. Why weren’t you able to form words anymore?

A cough from the other side of the room made Kid release you in an instant. For a moment you thought your knees were about to give in, but the image of Killer’s body jolting under the coughs gave you some sense of clarity back. You stumbled to his side, taking in his peaceful face. You lifted one of his eyelids and checked his vitals. He was definitely still asleep, but it wouldn’t take long for him to wake up now.

“Has he gotten worse?” Kid asked in a tense voice as he was stepping beside you.

“No, on the contrary,” you answered. “He is even more stable than yesterday, his body is starting to work how it’s supposed to again. Maybe the air in here is a little dry.”

You turned to open the small window at the wall, but Kid was faster, so you returned to feed Killer some water and changed his bandages. The wound was starting to close, almost no signs of redness around it visible anymore. You hummed in approval and concentrated on the task at hand. Just anything to not look back at Eustass Kid.

When you couldn’t delay the inevitable any longer, you took a deep breath and turned around, keeping a blank face.

“All done?” The pirate asked.

You nodded. It was as if the past minutes before the treatment had never existed. Good. You walked over the deck keeping your head down, not wanting to provoke another confrontation. At least you were making a quick stop at the table for you to grab some food again.

“Hey, raven girl!”

You blinked and looked around. One of the women of the crew approached you. She had light colored hair, stylized with a mohawk on top and bangs on each side of her face.

The woman shot you a mischievous grin, yet her round eyes were gentle. “Glad to see the clothes fit.”

It took you a second to grasp the meaning of her words before remembering your new outfit. “Uh, yes, thanks a lot, eh—” you replied, unsure how to handle the kind gesture or how to address her.

“Sure thing,” she winked. “And it’s Emma but you can call me Em.”

That seemed to be Kid’s cue. “Em, we got any more of these pastries from yesterday?”

“Afraid not, boss,” Em replied.

“Tch, too bad,” Kid muttered.

You eyed him. “You have a sweet tooth?”

“Fuck yeah I have.”

What was next? Kittens? “You can have mine, I think I took the last one,” you offered. You didn’t care much for sweets anyways, preferring salty snacks. So if you could trade a pastry for a bit of the captain’s goodwill, you’d take that chance. You could certainly use it.

Eustass Kid didn’t hesitate one second before snatching the sweet treat out of your hand, clearly savoring every bite. Or rather the one bite he used to stuff the whole thing into his mouth.

You smirked upon the sight. If you just had a cookie to throw him every time he snapped, life would be so much easier.

“Whaf?” He said, mouth still full.

“Nothing, glad you enjoy it.”

A push in your back sent you stumbling in the direction of Kid’s quarters. “Shut up.”

Just as you were to enter the corridor, a shout emerged from the crow’s nest.

“Boss, we’re closing in on our destination!”

“Fuck yeah, make everythin’ ready to land,” Eustass Kid shouted back.

You turned around to face him. “Why are we stopping? We can’t already be at the Archipelago?”

Kid just gave you another push down the corridor. “Move, doc.”

When entering his cabin, you tried again. “What’s happening?”

“Need to restock on some supplies, won’t be long,” the pirate answered vaguely.

“What kind of supplies?” You insisted. What could possibly be so important for Eustass Kid to stop halfway before reaching his destination? And more importantly, maybe the reason would give you a better idea about your current whereabouts.

He scoffed upon seeing your expression. “Yer really a pain in the ass, anyone ever tell ya that?” He cursed something under his breath when you didn’t answer and just continued looking at him. “We’re out of fuckin’ booze. Can’t have my men goin’ sober for too long now, can I?”

Your mouth flew open. So you made an unnecessary detour just so that the Kid Pirates could get drunk a few more nights? You shook your head. You really shouldn’t be surprised. With a snort, you turned around and started to walk towards the workbench, before deciding otherwise, facing Kid again. “I guess you won’t take me with you?”

“Damn right.”

You shrugged. It had been worth a shot.

“And fix that attitude before I do,” he snarled, before turning on his heels, slamming the door behind him.

You flipped the closed door off when you heard Kid locking it. At least you were alone for the moment. You briefly tried to concentrate on your work again, but your eyelids grew heavy soon after you started. Sleeping next to Eustass Kid snoring through the whole night hadn’t been the most relaxing experience after all. Maybe you should just take a quick nap to recover and pass the time until the pirates came back from their supply run.

Or was this the opportunity you had been waiting for? Your heart was starting to beat faster. You climbed up the bed and opened the tiny window above it. The ship had come to a halt, but you still only saw the sea. So the island was on the other side of the ship. At least you could hear them, above all Kid’s barking laughter that was fading in the distance. To your dismay, you still heard a lot of voices from the Kid Pirates that remained at the ship. You chewed on your lip. You doubted you would be able to break open the lock on the door and sneak over the deck without anyone noticing. You didn’t even know where you had landed. Maybe Sabaody was still your safest bet.

Sighing, you exchanged your new clothes for your sleeping shirt and slipped under the covers. At least this wasn’t too bad, you thought, while closing your eyes. As soon as you did, images from today were replayed in your head. Eustass Kid clearly was a horny mess without any sense of personal boundaries. Maybe you were playing it too nice. You wanted him to lower his guard not—Whatever that had been. You felt a wave of heat creeping up your body and tried pushing it down again. You’d really have to put more distance between you, this was starting to get out of control. You tried to remind yourself why you were here and what kind of a man Kid was, waiting for the usual wave of hatred to consume you. But all you felt was irritation. Despite your chain of thoughts, it still wasn’t for long before you were dozing off.

*

You were woken up by Kid’s voice. “Waitin’ for me in bed, doll?”

You opened your eyes about to snap at him to get lost, but you choked on your words when you saw him. The red-haired captain was completely naked, drops of water pearling down his massive chest while he was standing next to the bed. And his chest wasn’t the only thing that was massive.

“What are you—” you drawled, only to be cut off by Kid’s finger on your lips, when he bent down.

“Shh, doll. I brought ya somethin’.” Eustass Kid sat down on the bed, his lip paint appearing in his other hand. He dipped his finger into the shimmering pigment and started rubbing circles with it on your lips.

You were frozen on the spot. Not because you didn’t like his touch on you, you realized, but because you did. You involuntarily parted your lips.

“Fuck, the color looks so hot on ya,” Kid groaned, looking at you like he wanted to devour you. “Such a good slut, just waitin’ for me to doll her up.”

A small moan spilled over your lips. Before you could think better of it, you stuck out your tongue, licking over the finger on your lips.

A lazy grin spread over the redhead’s face. “Lookatcha, always so eager for me. Go on, suck it.”

You knew this was wrong, but you wanted it nevertheless. Sucking Kid’s thick finger in, you watched how his eyes lit up, how much satisfaction your surrender gave him. It only turned you on more.

“Needy little bitch,” he rasped while you moaned against his finger.

Suddenly, the blanket was gone and Eustass Kid was hovering above you. “Tell me doll, you’ve been good today?”

You nodded obediently, not able to talk with the finger still in your mouth, probing against your tongue.

With a wet pop, the pirate pulled it out, a wicked smirk painted over his features. “That so? Sure ya don’t deserve to be spanked raw by me?” His fingertips burned against your chest, ghosting over your breasts with the lightest touch.

“Yes, Captain,” you mewled, not sure what it was you were agreeing to, not caring when his touch left you aching for more.

Kid leaned forward, his hard length pressing between your needy thighs. “We’ll see, doll,” he growled in your ear.

You awakened with a jolt, feeling hot. Your heart was hammering in your chest and for a moment you were too disoriented to realize what had woken you up in the first place. Then you heard it again and this time there was no mistaking the sounds of gunshots and blades meeting each other. A battle had broken out. Had you been ambushed? But who would be so stupid to attack Eustass “Captain” Kid? Then you remembered. The captain wasn’t here and you didn’t know how many of his men were accompanying him. He wasn’t here and his latest presence had been a dream of yours. You felt your body growing hot again. What the hell was wrong with you? Maybe you were starting to lose your mind on this goddamn ship.

You got up, trying to clear your head. Whoever the attacker, they had waited for this exact moment. You heard angry screams and shouts, but you didn’t know if it was from the Kid Pirates or the attackers. You chewed on your lip. What should you do? Just hide in here and hope for the battle to end without someone making his way here? Another thought crossed your mind. What if this was your chance for escape after all? Your debt was as good as paid anyways as far as you were concerned. Killer could wake up at any moment and all his vitals were stable. You were certain that he’d make a full recovery. You heard Kid’s words in the back of your head after the other pirate had suggested that he should keep you, maybe I will.

Yeah, not going to happen, you thought. Perhaps he thought you could be useful to him. Or perhaps he would just make good on his threats and kill you after all after you’d served your purpose. There was no reason for you to believe that he would just let you walk. You were deluding yourself if you thought there was an easy out for you. Especially since you didn’t feel so keen on leaving this ship anymore than you had been. And that thought alone should be alarming. You needed to get away from this man, putting as many sea miles as possible between you and him before he could mess with your head any more. You guessed that you had covered about half the remaining route to Sabaody. This close to your goal, almost any ship was heading to the Archipelago. So it shouldn’t be too much trouble to find one on the island you had stopped at. Deep down, you knew it wouldn’t be that easy, but for once, your rationality was overridden by something else, leaving you with an almost desperate urge to get the hell out of here.

Chapter 5 - There was only one bed

You were rudely woken up when Eustass Kid moved, causing your hands to slide off his back. Before you knew what happened, he simply stepped out of his bed, right over your kneeling figure. Your head shot up so fast, it almost collided with his knee. Trying to clear your foggy mind, you looked around. You had fallen asleep sitting on the floor, with your arms and head resting on the mattress next to Kid. A drool stain was visible where your head had been.

The red-haired pirate looked down, his expression an infuriatingly wide smirk. “Couldn’t keep your hands off me, huh?” His voice was thick with amusement.

Your blood started to boil already, which was probably his intention. Maybe he was just trying to make you snap so that he could excuse manhandling you again. He could wait for that until he’d rot. You wiped your mouth, grunting in pain when you pulled yourself up from your undignified position. Your body was clearly complaining about the second night on the floor. You seriously had to step up your game.

“Sleep well?” He wouldn’t let you off the hook.

“No,” you said through clenched teeth.

“I slept like a baby,” Kid grinned, clearly in a good mood today. “Why’d ya sleep on the floor?”

Maybe because you made me? “Didn’t know there was another option.”

“You didna ask.”

Before you could reply, Kid had vanished into the bathroom. “Very funny, asshole,” you muttered. You sat down on the bed, briefly hesitating before leaning back into the sheets. God, it was so soft. You stretched your tense limbs until your back cracked, barely stifling another groan. It was tempting to close your eyes again, but you didn’t want to risk falling asleep or giving Eustass Kid another reason to screw with you. You let your thoughts wander for a few minutes. Despite him being the same big idiot, it seemed like last night had brought you one step closer to your goal. You still had slept on the floor, but the red haired pirate was clearly lowering his guard around you. You just needed to keep it up a little longer. As soon as you were free to roam the upper deck, you could plan further. You heard the water stop. Sighing, you got up. Your pause was over.

Eustass Kid emerged in the doorframe. At this point, you had almost gotten used to his half naked figure, which wasn’t comforting. You went to the bathroom without a word. Something was different. Was that…? There was a toothbrush and a comb waiting for you on the basin. When did that happen? You didn’t know you had missed brushing your teeth so much before doing it. It made you feel a bit more like yourself again. You should probably thank him for that, you thought. You gave the mirror your most convincing fake smile. Oh, thank you so much, Captain Kid. Your generosity knows no bounds. Annoyed at the thought, you tore your gaze away. After showering and combing your hair, you got dressed in Kid’s shirt again.

The pirate captain was sitting at his table again when you reentered the bedroom. When you saw what he was studying, your ‘thank you’ died on your lips. In his hands he held your notebook. You’d almost forgotten that you dropped it last night.

“What’s that?” He asked before the sound of protest could spill over your lips.

You took a glance at the page he had opened. It was the picture of the flower you had drawn. One of the many. You tried to snap it out of his hands but he was faster. “Give it back,” you said, reaching for the book. But even in a sitting position, it was ridiculously easy for the redhead to dangle the book in the air far out of your reach.

“Looks important.”

“It’s nothing.”

He arched his shaved brows, as if to remind you of yesterday’s conversation.

You lowered your hands in defeat. Fine. “Veneficus Purpurea,” you finally said, not without a hint of excitement in your voice. “It only blooms only on one day per year, producing red flowers with purple stripes. It’s petals are highly poisonous and completely tasteless. Only dipping them into a glass of water would be enough to kill a man. Yet the seeds are said to contain potent healing abilities for numerous diseases. It’s as if the flower is only tainted once it has grown, bearing two polar opposites within it at once.” You broke off. Kid just looked at you as if he waited for you to continue. You cleared your throat, not used to that kind of attention when talking about your work. “Problem is, it only grows in specific environments and I’m not even sure in which exactly, because the records are contradicting themselves, unless the location changes every year. That is, if it even exists,” you closed off your explanation.

“You believe it does?”

“Yes,” you said, feeling your cheeks flush, already waiting for the mocking remarks.

But Eustass Kid just nodded, for a moment seemingly lost in thought before handing you back your book. “Aight doc, time to work.”

*

Dive was already waiting for you, the dark circles under her eyes so deep you were wondering if she had gotten any sleep at all these past days. Still she got up to stand beside you while you changed the bandage on Killer’s wound again. The Massacre Soldier was looking completely peaceful. You listened to his heartbeat and breathing. Both were strong and even.

Turning around, you said, “I think we did it, all his vitals are back to normal and the wound is healing nicely. Give it two days, three days max, and he should wake up. He just needs a little more rest right now.”

You could have sworn that Kid released a breath at that moment. Was he really that worried about one of his men? You figured that Killer had an important role in this crew, since he was one of the reasons the Kid Pirates were so feared. Possibly hard to replace.

When you went to grab the water bottle, Dive stopped you. “I just gave him some,” she said, not without a hint of pride in her voice.

You flashed her a smile. “Alright, that means we’re done here.”

The red-haired captain nodded in the girl’s direction. “You should get some sleep.” When Dive was about to protest, Kid barked, “that’s an order. You can come back later for the night shift. And send Wire to keep an eye on Killer for now.”

“Aye, boss,” Dive replied and staggered through the door. Poor thing really needed to sleep.

You glanced at the rest of your medical equipment that was still on the couch, as if it was waiting for you. When you went to grab the bags, you saw Eustass Kid shooting you a scowl and thought better of it. “It would be really helpful if I could take my stuff back with me, so that I can use the time to prepare some medications.”

Kid eyed you from above, furrowing his non-existent brows.

“I promise I’m not planning on blowing up the ship,” you offered. “Please?”

You half expected him to just shove you out of the door. Instead he cursed and gave you a brief nod. “Fuck it, fine. But no funny business, doc.”

“Thank you,” you said, giving him a brief smile. This time you actually meant it.

Kid just gave you a push in the back. “Get moving.”

Once you were back in the captain’s quarters, Kid left you alone, to your dismay not without locking the door. He had allowed you to use his workbench though. You downed a quick lunch of rice balls before trying to get an overview about your tools and ingredients. You were cursing under your breath while untangling the mess, the result of careless hands just stuffing anything they could reach into bags with no regard for its fragility. A few of the flasks were broken, their contents spilled inside the bags. A good portion of your dried herbs had been almost pulverized in between the tools. Fucking pirates.

You grumbled while reorganizing everything, checking off boxes or correcting numbers on your inventory list. Although it was a tedious process, you secretly loved organizing things, making lists and systematically structuring everything the best way possible. Focusing on that finally allowed you to clear your head, drifting off in your own little world where every problem had a solution, sometimes literally.

After you had cleared up the mess, you started on grinding down the last surviving yellowdot mushrooms, restocked on a few of your tinctures, sterilized your tools and untangled your bandages. Yet you were still running out of things to do too soon for your taste. You chewed on the insides of your cheeks, your gaze wandering across the room. Don’t even think about it, you scolded yourself. The last thing you could need was getting caught by Eustass Kid with your hands in one of his drawers.

A different idea shot through your mind. Usually, you concentrated on toxins, antidotes and medications, but sometimes you also used your knowledge for creating cosmetics. Maybe you were pushing your luck here, but it was worth a shot. You scanned your jars, finding what you were looking for in seconds, since everything was in alphabetical order again. You carefully pulverized dried alkanet root, elderberry and beetroot and mixed it with a base consisting of mostly castor oil and beeswax. It was almost identical to the mixture Eustass Kid used, but with the added beetroot extract, it was going to effectively stain the lips, making the color more long-lasting. Maybe gifts would make him soften up.

You were so immersed in your work, that you only noticed the redhead when he was standing right behind you, asking you a question. With a squealing sound, you jumped up, whirling around just to be stopped by his massive chest.

“Jeez, doll, what’s gotten into ye again?” The pirate captain smirked, seemingly amused by your outburst.

You realized that your hands lay on this chest, so you quickly lowered them. “I, uh, was kinda lost in my work,” you said, your pulse still hammering in your ears.

“Clearly,” Kid drawled.

His breath smelled of rum. You looked towards the window. The sun had already sunk.

“My workbench looks like a fuckin’ laboratory,” he said, gesturing to the assembly of flasks, jars and tools on it.

“Yeah, I’ll clean it up, didn’t think I’d need so much space,” you murmured.

Kid just scoffed and waved you off. He still seemed to be in a good mood. Maybe the liquor made him loosen up a bit. Although you weren’t entirely sure that’d be a good thing given his impulsiveness.

He leaned over you to get a better look at your results, his cape brushing over your face. “What’s that?” He asked, pointing at the small jar with the purple paste in it.

You took a deep breath. Maybe you were about to overdo it, but the moment seemed too perfect to not take advantage of it. “It’s a lip tint. I made it for you,” you declared with the straightest face you could muster.

Eustass Kid released a raspy laugh while shaking his head. “Really? Didn’t realize today was my fuckin’ birthday.”

Another cloud of booze hit you, almost making you turn your head to the side. He really was drunk. Instead you shrugged nonchalantly. “See it as a token of my gratitude. Found the stuff in the bathroom. Besides, I needed something to do.”

“Ya do realize I already own one?”

“Yes, but mine is better.”

Kid’s grin was widening. “Cocky.” Then his eyes narrowed. “Wait, how’d ya know?”

Ah yes, there had been one possible weak point to your plan. “I may have taken a quick look,” you muttered. “Call it professional curiosity.”

You looked up at the red-haired captain, expecting another outburst.

But Eustass Kid only shook his head in amusement. Maybe alcohol was indeed the solution. “Well, shit. Of all the things, that’s the one that piqued yer interest.”

“Yeah, well, it was the only thing faintly related to my work,” you said, suddenly feeling self conscious.

“Why a raven, by the way?”

You blinked. “What?”

“Yer nickname. The Raven Doc.”

You wrinkled your forehead in confusion. What did he care? Was he always just blabbering when drunk? “Ravens have a long history of being associated with medicine,” you shrugged. He didn’t need to know how your personal history played into the name. “Why?”

“Dunno, doesn’t seem like a fitting bird for ya.”

You snorted. “What would you suggest?”

He seemed to seriously think about your question, tapping his fingers against his jaw. “Don’t know a fuckin’ thing ‘bout birds, doc. There isn’t a suicidal maniac bird by any chance?”

It almost made you chuckle. Idiot. You cleared your throat. “Do you want to try it out?” You asked, gesturing to the jar, hoping to shift the focus of the conversation away from you.

The pirate grabbed the jar without a word, opened it and dipped his finger inside. But instead of going for his own face, he suddenly leaned down.

“What the—”

A calloused finger spread the mixture on your lips. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. You tensed under his touch.

“Hold still, doll,” Kid drawled, clearly concentrating on applying the pigment evenly.

You were frozen on the spot while his index finger kept rubbing circles over your lips. Maybe you had inhaled too much ethanol. What was happening? Then it struck you.

“Did you think I was going to poison you?” You asked in disbelief, shoving his hands off you.

“Where ya?”

“Of course not!”

Kid shrugged. “Better safe than sorry, huh? I’ll try it tomorrow, dependin’ on ya still bein’ alive.”

Unbelievable. “Fine, have it your way,” you huffed.

“Don’t be a bitch about it,” Kid mocked.

“I can’t believe you’d think I’d be so stupid as to poison you while being alone on the open ocean surrounded by your men,” you burst out.

“Ahh, I insulted yer intellect, is that it, doc? So far ye’ve only begged me to kill ya about five times, safe to say there are some screws loose in that little brain.” He tapped his finger against your forehead, as if to underline his words.

There it was again. The pure and hot rage you felt while looking in the smug face of that devil. Images of him kicking Nikolai in the gut flickered through your mind. “That’s rich, coming from you,” you spat.

In a split second, you were pressed against the workbench, Eustass Kid towering over you, forcing you to lean back. His knee pressed against your thigh, making you hiss as it applied pressure on your healing wound.

“Shit,” you gasped.

Kid ignored you, his head lowering until his hot breath ghosted over your skin. “Yer scared again, doll?”

“No,” you pressed. It was the truth. You were so fueled by your anger, it had blocked out all other emotions.

“That so?” You felt his smirk on your neck. “How come yer pulse is racin’ again, then?”

“I—” For once, there was no witty remark you could think of. What to do, what to do? What happened to playing nice? Should you…? Or would that be too much?

“You’re drunk,” you croaked the first words out that came to your mind.

“Yeah, and yer not, so what’s yer excuse for gettin’ all flustered?”

Shit, you couldn’t do it. You just couldn’t. Even if it meant another sleepless night on the floor. You opened your mouth to tell him to go to hell, but the words never came out. Eustass Kid bit you. He bit down hard, right in the spot between your neck and shoulder. A whimper left your mouth, in equal parts due to the pain and the surprise. And, to your horror, there was a part of you that was enjoying his mouth on you. You felt panic rising in your chest, your hands finding Kid’s shoulders under his cape, clawing into them until you were sure you had drawn blood while you tried to shove him off. Eustass Kid made a noise that could only be interpreted as approval. No, no, no! He was clearly getting aroused.

“You’re hurting me,” you winced.

He grunted as if to say, that’s the point, so what?

“Did you know a human bite actually presents a high risk of infection due to the concentration of bacteria?” You asked through clenched teeth.

The red haired pirate finally released you, causing you to almost lose your balance.

“Shit, doll, yer seriously fucked up, ye know that,” Kid panted.

Your chest heaved while you rubbed your burning neck. Sitting back on the workbench, you glared at him. “That makes two of us.” You released a shaky breath, feeling on the brink of hysteria again.

You couldn’t believe your eyes when you saw the corners of Kid’s mouth twitch. It wasn’t for long before he barked out a laugh, his massive chest vibrating. There wasn’t a single thing about this man that made any sense.

You clasped your neck, watching him calm down. He was slightly unsteady on his feet. This idiot could have crushed you. You retreated your fingers. No blood. You still felt the need to disinfect your neck. Everything inside you recoiled at the question you were about to ask, but now was as good a time as any. “Does that mean I’m going to spend another night on the floor?”

Kid wiped his eyes. “That’s what yer worried about?”

“It was really uncomfortable,” you replied. Maybe sleeping in one bed would finally convince him that you weren’t set on killing him. And you needed your strength back.

Eustass Kid shook his head, still chuckling while making his way to the bathroom. “Knock yerself out, doll.”

After the pirate captain was finished, you entered the bathroom yourself. Brushing your teeth helped you cool down again. You took off your clothes except for the shirt and panties. The bitemark was still clearly visible and would leave a nasty bruise. Damn it. Maybe sleeping in one bed together was a shitty idea after all.

Eustass Kid was already bare chasted and laying in bed by the time you came back. “What, no strip show for me tonight?” He drawled.

You really wanted to flip him off but this time you actually managed to hold back and just kept quiet, not wanting to get in any kind of confrontation again.

You hesitated a moment too long, causing Eustass Kid to release a husky laugh. “Yer afraid of the big bad wolf or yer afraid that ya won’t be afraid?” His amber eyes were glimmering with an unspoken challenge.

You responded with a scowl, hoping that he at least wore some sort of pants. While slipping quietly under the sheets on the free inner side of the bed, you carefully avoided any physical contact. You immediately closed your eyes to just ignore him. But that proved harder than you had anticipated. Every time the pirate rustled with the covers you tensed. Maybe his drunk state was more of a risk than you had thought about. But then again, sleeping on the floor wouldn’t have kept you safe either.

“Think ya can keep quiet tonight, doll?” Kid asked.

“What?” You furrowed your brows in confusion, turning your head to face him.

“Yer quite the talker when sleepin’, no one ever tell ya that?”

An icy feeling made your stomach drop. Did you have a nightmare the other night? You knew you had them frequently. Ever since that day. Maybe you could not always remember them.

“What did I say?” You croaked.

Eustass Kid’s eyes bore into yours until you were certain he could read every single one of your thoughts. “Don’t remember, was kinda hard to understand under all that whinin’ and whimperin’ anyways.”

You let out a single breath. “I’ll try to keep my mouth shut,” you murmured.

For a moment, you thought Kid was going to say something else, but then he turned around with a grunt and turned off the lights with a flick of his wrist. “Night, doc.”

“Good night,” you replied quietly.

Chapter 4 - No bullshit

It was a restless night. Your whole body ached, made worse by the uncomfortable position in which the pirate captain had forced you. After a few hours of fitful sleep punctuated by strange dreams, you found yourself in a dazed state, oscillating between dozing off and being startled by every little noise, the pain in your leg or your racing thoughts. It was like entering a carousel that never stopped, repeating the same movements over and over again. Images of last night’s events haunted you, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t stop them.

The moment you sensed some movement in the twilight ahead of you, your eyes flew open, adrenaline pumping through your veins. For a split second, you were completely disoriented. Everything was wrong. Where were you? Why were you half naked and chained to a post? And why was Eustass “Captain” Kid sitting on the edge of his bed, looking at you with a grim expression? The moment you locked eyes with the red-haired pirate, everything came flooding back to you. It hit you like a towering wave, almost drowning you in the process.

Eustass Kid groaned and rubbed his face in his hands. His red hair looked even more untamed than usual. He didn’t utter a single word before making his way into the bathroom. You carefully stretched your legs and almost winced. Everything hurt. Your arms felt almost numb. But you were thankful for the moment of quietness. You heard water running. Kid was taking a shower. Your hair had dried overnight, but some strands were sticking uncomfortably to your forehead, covering your right eye, and you couldn’t reach them. And you had a more urgent problem: You really needed to pee. You weren’t looking forward to that conversation. Taking a deep breath, you tried to regain your focus, remembering your agenda. Playing it nice. That couldn’t be too hard? After all, he was just a man. You heard him stepping out of the shower.

“What the hell?”

Why was he cursing? Then it struck you. Your clothes. You had tried to wash them in his basin last night but had been too tired to clean up. It was probably still a bloody mess. You were off to a great start. The pirates’ steps drew closer to the door. You pulled your knees to your chest, preparing for an outburst of rage. The door flew open. Eustass Kid stood in the doorframe, only wearing a loose towel over his hips. Pearls of water were running over his bare chest. His red hair was still wet and the color of his lips was paler than usual.

“Where is it?”

That you did not expect. You blinked. “What?”

“Don’t play dumb doc, where’d you take it?”

“I have truly no idea what you are talking about.”

Kid marched towards you, crouching before you in a swift movement. His hand reached out to you. You flinched back, trying to create distance, but only succeeded in hitting your head on the post.

“Ouch,” you groaned.

The redhead furrowed his shaved brows. “What the hell was that?”

“Fuck, I don’t know,” you said through clenched teeth.

“Afraid I was gonna hit ya?”

“How would I get that idea?” You asked angrily, your head throbbing.

“Yer really askin’ for it,” Kid growled.

“What are you waiting for, then?” You burst out. “I’m chained and helpless, just how you like it.” You bit your tongue, annoyed with him, the situation and yourself. Nothing was going as planned.

Eustass Kid stared at you. Just as you had prepared yourself for a slap in the face, the pirate suddenly laughed. “Shit, doc, yer only awake for like five fuckin’ minutes and already spittin’ venom. Thought that was botherin’ you.” He moved the strand of hair that was covering half your vision out of the way. “Ya look like shit by the way.”

You gaped at him. He smirked as if to say, gotcha. You had the urge to kick him where the sun didn’t shine.

“Now, where’s my damn lip paint?”

“Seriously, that’s what we’re talking about?” You blurted out. Kid’s smirk was fading, so you added hastily, “I didn’t take it, I swear. Maybe it fell down when I tried washing my clothes. Have you tried looking under the basin?”

The pirate captain rolled his eyes. “That’s what ya got for me?”

“You didn’t look, did you?”

“Tch. Better hope you’re right, doc.” With that, Eustass Kid stood up and went back into the bathroom. Holding your breath, you heard him crouching down and cursing.

“You found it, huh?” You called out, not able to erase the edge of smugness out of your voice. Maybe if he’d use that little brain in his stupid big head—

“Shut up!”

Bloody hell. He really was just a man. You closed your eyes. If he wanted to hit you for that, it would have been at least worth it.

After a while, he came back, hair towel dried and lips purple again—and completely naked. You immediately closed your eyes but it was too late. Some things couldn’t be unseen. This man really had no shame. Thankfully, Kid made no further remarks to test your patience. Was that his idea of intimidating you further or did he just like to show off? Whatever it was, he was welcome to shove it up his own ass.

When you were sure he was at least half dressed, you opened your eyes again. Your bladder was seriously complaining at this point. Eustass Kid was sitting on his table, studying a map.

You cleared your throat. How were you supposed to address him anyway? So far, you had pretty much only insulted him. Play nice play nice play nice. You repeated the words like a mantra and took a deep breath.

Before you could say anything, someone knocked at the door. “Boss?”

“Yeah, what is it?” Kid called out.

“It’s about our supplies. Can I come in?”

Your eyes flew open. You searched for Kid’s gaze and frantically shook your head, mouthing the word please. Facing another Kid Pirate in your current position was more than you could bear, you could already hear the mocking remarks again.

Eustass Kid took his sweet time to answer while you shot him pleading glances. He leaned back, playing with a pencil in his hand, looking you up and down as if he were about to pass a sentence. “Busy right now, talk to ya later,” he finally shouted.

The man outside chuckled. “I see, have fun, boss.”

You slumped down on the ground, face burning. Don’t let him get to your head, you thought. Remember the plan. Nothing else matters. Fuck you, was what you wanted to say. “Thank you,” was what you forced out instead.

The red haired pirate only grunted, already focused on the map again. He scribbled something down, seemingly having forgotten about you.

“Captain?” You asked, almost choking at the words.

“Huh?” He replied, without looking up.

“Are you going to untie me?”

“Depends, yer gonna behave?”

You gritted your teeth. “Yes.”

“Got anything to say?”

“I’m sorry for losing my shit.” The only thing you were sorry about was that you hadn’t managed to land more than one hit. But he could believe whatever he wanted.

Kid finally looked up. “Ye better. I got no problem keepin’ you chained here day ‘n night, only releasing you when I need ya. So consider this your last warning, doc.”

You nodded, clenching your fists behind your back. “I understand.”

Eustass Kid grunted again, but made no move to get up.

You started shifting uncomfortably, clearing your throat again. “Could you untie me now, please? I really need to pee.”

Instead of a joke, Kid just flicked his wrist, causing the chains to fall down. You carefully pulled your arms towards you, wincing as the blood finally started to circulate freely again. You massaged your muscles and bent your fingers, until you regained some control back. When you attempted to get back up, you felt like you were 100 years old. Using the post as support, you pulled yourself up, almost losing your balance. You cursed when your right leg started throbbing again immediately.

“Somethin’ the matter, doc?”

“Nope,” you groaned while dragging yourself towards the bathroom.

“Don’t touch any of my stuff,” the pirate said, before you closed the door behind you.

Not like there’s anything interesting here, you mumbled to yourself.

After relieving yourself, a look in the mirror confirmed that you looked like you felt. You shrugged. That was like the least of your current problems. Although you started missing your comb and toothbrush. The basin was still like you left it. Your blood drenched clothes had colored the water so red, one couldn’t see the ground any more. You drained the water, then rinsed your clothes under the tap. Your blouse wasn’t crusty red anymore but it surely wasn’t white either. One side of your pants was completely cut in half. You sighed. There went your last personal belongings. You still wrung the water out and hung your clothes up to dry. Then you brushed your teeth with your finger, splashed some water in your face and tried to smooth down your hair.

Your gaze fell on the little cosmetic jar with Kid’s lip paint. Don’t touch any of my stuff, you heard his voice in your head. Well, it wasn’t like he was here to stop you. You carefully opened the lid, dipped the tip of your finger in it and rubbed it onto the back of your hand. Just as you had expected: Alkanet root and elderberry, the main ingredients in lipsticks that were popular in high society—and in brothels. You smirked. Perhaps that’s where he met the women who, he claimed, shared his bed so eagerly. You wiped off all the evidence and made your way back to the bedroom.

Eustass Kid looked up. “Grab somethin’ to wear out of the cabinet over there. We’re gonna go and see Killer now, so ye better hope he’s still alive.”

You nodded and stalked towards the cabinet, flipping him off mentally. You were pretty sure that someone would have already informed you if the Massacre Soldier had bitten the dust. The cabinet was filled to the brim with all sorts of extravagant clothes, but there was no way any of it was going to fit you. You picked the first shirt with short sleeves you saw, since you’d need your hands to work. It was blue with an unusual copper colored pattern and metallic buttons on it. You secured it with a wide brown leather belt. It was long enough to function as a dress for you, so there was no need for pants. Not that there had been any even close to your size. You slipped on your blood stained leather boots and looked around for your daggers.

“Lookin’ for these?” Your daggers were dangling from his belt.

There was no point in lying. “Yeah,” you admitted.

“Why?”

You shrugged. “Just what I’m used to. I always wear them.” It was only half the truth but it didn’t matter that they had been a gift from Nikolai, not to your captor at least.

“I’ll keep ‘em safe,” the red haired pirate said, patting the daggers with one hand.

It made you sick to see him touch them but you kept a blank face. “You didn’t happen to bring any of my personal belongings here?” You asked, trying to change the subject.

“Nope, only what we deemed useful,” Kid replied, eying you. “Why, ye need anythin’?”

“Well, not for treatments.” You hesitated before continuing. “But it would be nice to be able to brush my teeth and hair for example or to wear clothes my size,” you said, shifting on your feet, not sure if you were asking for too much. When Kid didn’t reply immediately, you added, “forget it, it’s not important.”

“I’ll see what I can do, dependin’ on yer behavior. Now let’s get movin’, doc.”

“Thank you,” you murmured. When you saw the pirate approaching you, you raised your hands to stop him. “I can walk just fine now, no need to carry me anymore.”

Kid shrugged. “If ya slow me down, ye know how it ends.”

Glaring sunlight greeted you as you strolled on deck. Immediately, all eyes were on you, but you tried your best to ignore the stares and whistles. You shielded your eyes with your hands. It must have already been quite late in the morning. Instinctively, your eyes searched the ocean around you. But you couldn’t see any signs of land or other ships.

“Hopin’ to see yer little friends?”

“Can’t I just enjoy the view?”

Kid snorted. “It’s pointless, doc, we’re way faster than yer sorry excuse of a ship.”

“Why?”

“As if I’d tell you.”

“Thought you liked to show off?” You winced upon your words, instantly shooting him an apologetic look.

“Can’t lose the attitude, huh?”

His hand gripped your shoulder briefly, but he didn’t seem overly upset. You let out a silent breath, equal parts relieved and annoyed. How to figure out what it was exactly that made him snap was beyond you.

“Hey, boss, what put you in such a good mood? Didn’t sleep much last night, eh?” A man hanging from the rope ladder called out. He had blue hair and wore a kind of spiky hat. You didn’t think you had seen him before.

“You bet,” the red haired captain shot back. “Was busy enjoyin’ a private appointment with the lady doctor.”

His words followed barking laughter from his men. You took deep breaths through your nose. Just ignore them, they are not worth it. You stared in the other direction, not wanting to give them the satisfaction of a reaction. In the distance, you spotted more crewmembers, all with unique outfits and hairstyles. You guessed that there were roughly twenty people on this ship. To your surprise, you saw at least a handful of women between them. You hadn’t noticed them the night before. You could also see a long, low table in the middle of the deck, stuffed with food for breakfast. Your stomach grumbled but Kid just walked past it as you made your way to the Massacre Soldier.

Killer was still asleep, as you had anticipated. But the fever had gone back as you’d hoped and there was color returning to his face. His breathing was less strained than the night before and the wound wasn’t oozing as bad. Dive looked like she hadn’t slept at all, her pigtails loosely framing her pale face. She seemed grateful for your appearance though, allowing herself to relax slightly on the chair and shooting you a crooked grin. You cleaned the wound again and changed the bandages. Eustass Kid stood uncomfortably close as if he was worried you would suddenly snap and decide to strangle Killer on the spot. And ruin all your effort? Tch. Dive also followed every movement of yours with her round eyes, but she was clearly more appreciative of your work.

“How’s he doin’, doc?” The red haired captain asked, or rather, breathed down your neck.

You resisted the urge to flinch back again and pulled on your most professional doctor’s face. “Fine, considering the circumstances. If he stays stable, and I don’t see a reason why he shouldn’t, he should be over the hump soon. And I don’t think there will be lasting damage except maybe a little numbness around the wounded area.”

Kid grunted. It seemed to be his favorite form of communication.

You fished a small, stained book out of your satchel and scribbled a short note in it. So the dose of the antidote indeed correlated with the time since exposure. It made sense, since the effects of the poison also developed gradually. You had to write a detailed report later.

“What’s that?”

You were still lost in thought when you answered, “Hm? Oh, I just wrote down that my guess over the dosage of the antidote was correct.”

“You took a fuckin’ guess?”

The air around Eustass Kid seemed to vibrate with fury and Dive leaned back in the chair, as if she wanted to get as much distance as possible between herself and her captain.

You gulped. “Perhaps guess wasn’t the correct term, I calculated the dosage based on the size of the wound, time of exposure, his bodyweight and—”

Kid cut you off. “But you weren't sure?”

Your palms were getting sweaty. “I already told you, it’s a rare poison to come by, I’ve only read about it so far—”

The pirate grabbed you by the collar of the shirt, nostrils flared. “You’re tellin’ me you treated Killer like a fuckin’ lab rat?”

You desperately shook your head. How could you make this brute understand? It’s not like last night had been all calm and collected. “There is a risk to every treatment, but his life was definitely in danger if he had gone untreated. The antidote was his best shot, or rather is only shot.”

After a few seconds, Kid released you, making you stumble backwards. “I don’t give a damn. You don’t call the shots here. My man, my call, my responsibility.”

Shit. He was kind of right about this one. “You’re right, I’m sorry, you’re clearly worried about him and that’s—”

Captain Kid waved you off. “Shut it. Just don’t hold anything back, yer really testing my patience.”

You thought that maybe it wasn’t so much about patience but about trust. And you couldn’t really blame him since you trusted the red haired pirate about as far as you could throw him. But in order for him to lower his guard you had to make him trust you at least a little.

“It won’t happen again,” you promised.

Kid just scoffed.

You sighed internally, feeling like you were always balancing one step away from the edge. You took a few flasks out of a bag and mixed them in a jar with water, feeling yourself cooling down again. “I’m preparing him some electrolytes. With all the sweating, his body lost a lot of minerals. Electrolytes are basically—”

“I know what electrolytes are, doc,” Kid snarled.

“Right.” Could you do anything without risking getting on his nerves? You were tempted to only talk in simple, short sentences to him from here on, just to see how fast it would take him to notice.

Instead, you concentrated on feeding Killer spoons of the liquid without him coughing it up again. With a small cloth, you carefully wiped the corners of his mouth. Turning to Dive, you said, “give him this every few hours. Call me if there are any problems.”

Dive nodded eagerly. Kid was just gesturing for you to move through the door. With a last glance back, you followed him back on deck. There were still plenty of the remains from today’s breakfast on the table. Your mouth was watering when you passed it. Suddenly, Eustass Kid halted in his movements, almost causing you to crash into him.

“Take some,” he said.

“Thanks,” you murmured before stuffing a few pieces of bread, dried meat and an orange into your satchel.

As soon as you arrived at Kid’s quarters, the red haired captain shoved you inside, not without warning you once more not to touch his stuff. He locked the door behind you. At least you were alone. You briefly closed your eyes, leaning back against the door. A wave of fatigue hit your body, but the thought of laying down in the huge bed of Eustass “Captain” Kid made you tense up immediately. You wouldn’t find any rest there.

Slowly, you made your way through the room. You guessed that Kid wouldn’t be back for quite some time. Your heart was hammering in your chest when you let your gaze wander over the tools hanging over his workbench before discarding the thought. He would notice in an instant if something was missing. But you made a mental note that a screwdriver would still be better than no weapon. You held your breath when you approached the drawers, but since you didn’t hear any sounds from outside, you quietly tried to pull them open. They were all locked. You weren’t surprised, yet it had been worth a shot. The locks didn’t seem too complicated, but if you had to move fast, it would still take too long. You paced around the room, trying to keep yourself awake. But there was nothing else here except for the cabinet full of clothes.

At some point, your right leg started throbbing again, forcing you to sit down on the chair. A glance under the bandage showed you that everything was healing nicely though, you probably just needed to give it some more rest. Your gaze wandered over the maps that were sprawled out on the table. On one of them Kid had marked down a few spots, probably the route they had taken since entering the Grand Line. Next to Sabaody Archipelago was an arrow, pointing downwards. You shrugged. So they had figured out that the only way through the Red Line was Fish-Man Island. Good for them. You hoped they would drown altogether.

*

You must have dozed off over these comforting thoughts, because a knock on the door startled you. Your head shot up, a piece of the map still sticking to your cheek. You brushed it off and scrambled to your feet. There was another knock. You furrowed your brows. Eustass Kid wouldn’t knock.

“Yes?” You called out.

“Doc?”

You recognized the voice of Dive. “Yeah, what is it?”

“Boss told me to inform you about every change and Killer just started shivering.” Her voice sounded panicky.

You pinched the bridge of your nose. Shit, that wasn’t good. “I’m coming,” you said, making your way to the door, before realizing that you had forgotten about something. “The door is locked.”

“Oh, yes, right,” Dive replied. A second later, you heard her fumbling with a key.

You grabbed your satchel and hurried together with the girl over the deck back to Killer. Dive had been right. The Massacre Soldier was shivering, his face paler than this morning, his skin cold. But why? The wound looked still good, all his other vital signs were perfectly fine. You chewed on your lip, letting your gaze wander across the room. What had changed? Change. Maybe that was the problem. You pulled back the blanket that was wrapped around the man’s legs and found your suspicion confirmed.

“Did you still treat him with the cold compresses the entire day?” You asked, removing the cool rags, resisting the urge to throw them into a corner.

Dive gaped at you, wide eyed. “I thought that’s what I was supposed to do, you said—”

With a sigh, you sat down on the chair. “It’s fine, I should have been clearer.” You felt like a weight was lifted from your chest. For a moment you had feared that you had gotten it all wrong. If Killer died while you were on this ship, you knew whose head would roll. But it was just a minor hiccup.

The voice of the girl pulled you back. “It’s my fault, isn’t it? I almost—”She paled even further.

Again, you wondered what she was doing with the Kid Pirates. “Don’t worry about it,” you said, trying to sound reassuring. “It’s unlikely that you put him in any real danger. You just cooled his temperature down to a point that made his body fight back. He’s still too weak to balance this out on his own. You did good by calling me.”

Dive didn’t seem soothed by your words at all. “Please,” she blurted out. “Don’t tell the boss that I messed up.”

You shot her a smile, knowing how she felt. “My lips are sealed. I get it though, I would be scared too.”

The girl furrowed her brows. “What do you mean? I’m not scared of him.”

Now it was your turn to frown. “There is no shame in admitting it, a lot of people are scared of—”

Dive cut you off, a fire burning in her round eyes. “No, you don’t get it. I’m really not scared of him. I mean, there are times when he’s acting scary, but he’s always been good to me, gave me a chance to become a pirate and for a better life when no one else would. Told me I’m welcome if I’m being serious and willing to pull my weight. He is looking out for me and everyone else in this crew. I’d give my life for him. We all would.”

You gaped at the girl before thinking better of it and closing your mouth. She was admiring Eustass Kid, you realized, while shaking your head. So maybe that was the reason for her also wearing goggles on her head. She imitated him, like a big brother. Everything about that felt so wrong. You had assumed that Kid was leading his crew with an iron fist, but it seemed like they held him in high regard. Another surprise. You hated surprises. You noticed that you were annoyed by how the girl was beaming at you while talking about her captain, so you shook the thought off.

You cleared your throat. “We need to keep his body temperature stable at this point, allowing him to rest and focus on recovering,” you explained, while drying Killer’s legs with a towel and pulling the blanket back over him. “His fever should stay down on its own now since we got rid of the cause for the infection, just tell me if anything changes.”

Dive nodded, shooting you a relieved grin. “Thanks doc, I owe you.”

You waved her off but couldn’t help returning the grin. It was kind of addicting. “You’re going to accompany me back?”

“Aye,” Dive called out before darting forward and leading the way.

She really was an odd girl. You liked her.

By the time you re-entered the deck, the sun had already started to sink. Glancing up at the sky, you saw millions of stars emerging above you. It was a painful reminder of the last time you had looked at the night sky from your ship’s crow’s nest. A fresh breeze lifted up your hair and you wished you could just stay outside for a bit on your own. You kept your distance while passing the table where the Kid Pirates were having dinner. The atmosphere was cheerful, the air full of laughter. Dive briefly left your side to dart over to Eustass Kid who sat in the middle of his men. The girl whispered something into her captain’s ear. Kid patted Dive on the shoulder and said something that made the girl’s eyes light up. You resisted the urge to shake your head again. The red haired pirate briefly looked up, finding your gaze. You gave him a nod, confirming that everything was fine. One of his men said something that you couldn’t understand, causing the captain to burst out laughing. He wiped his eyes and you thought briefly that he looked different at this moment, like all the tension of the day had fallen off his shoulders.

“You coming?”

You hummed, following Dive back to Kid’s cabin.

Once the door was closed behind you again, you rolled your head to the sides, stretching your neck. The night on the floor had left its traces. And you felt your stomach grumbling again. Maybe you should have asked for something to eat. Well, it was too late for that now. You would just need to sleep it off. You briefly went to the bathroom, getting yourself ready for bed. Or rather, the floor, you thought. You changed into a different oversized shirt. It was purple with black and golden waves on it. Did this man own any normal clothes? Your body ached, wanting nothing more than a good night's rest. But crawling under the sheets now, essentially waiting there for Kid to come back and—no.

You hesitated briefly before crouching down on the chair again, tucking your knees to your chest and leaning your head against the wall. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but definitely an improvement to last night. You closed your eyes, but it seemed that the cold night had done the rest to keep you wide awake for now. You groaned as you pulled your notebook out of the satchel on the table. You finished your notes on Killer’s recovery process before starting to draw the picture of the same flower you drew at least once a week. One day, I’m gonna find you. The scratching from your pen on the paper had a soothing effect on you. Perhaps you would be able to sleep soon after all.

The door flew open. With a squeak, the book slipped from your fingers, dropping to the floor.

Eustass Kid slammed the door shut behind him, making you flinch again.

“What’s the matter, doc?”

“I’m sorry,” you said hastily.

“What the fuck yer sorry about?” He barked.

He was already mad again. Fucking great. “Nothing, I’m sorry,” you murmured.

“Shit, doll, what’s with the pathetic stammering? Cut it out, will ya? It’s pissin’ me off.”

You clenched your fists. When you were talking back, he was mad. When you were trying to be nice he was mad. What was his goddamn problem? “What the fuck do you want from me?” You blurted out before you could think better of it. “Shit,” you banged your fist on the table.

To your surprise, Eustass Kid smirked. “There she is. Knew ya were full of shit before.”

“I was just trying to be nice,” you shot back.

“Don’t bullshit me, I can always tell,” Kid said, stepping closer.

You drummed your fingers on the table. “Fine, you want the truth? Last night was hella scary, so I don’t need a replay of that. Is that so hard to understand?”

It was only half the truth. Yes, you wanted to get on his good side, if that even existed. But besides the fact that you could do without getting manhandled by him again, you were still set on getting him to lower his guard around you. You’d never be able to escape if you were in shackles or behind locked doors at all times. The red haired captain eyed you from above. You didn’t blink. He was the first to break eye contact.

“I see. And here I was thinking yer a smart girl. Just ‘cause I’m askin’ for respect, doesn’t mean I want you blabberin’ whatever the fuck it is ye think I wanna hear.”

You gave him a brief nod. You could work with that. “Alright.”

He set a bowl on the table you hadn’t realized he had been holding. “Brought ya dinner.”

Your eyes flew wide open. “Thanks.” You pushed your rising irritation down. You needed to eat. That he didn’t intend to let you starve and acted like a half decent human being for once didn’t change a damn thing. He couldn’t fool you.

“Eat,” he simply stated, before starting to undress.

He didn’t need to tell you twice. You tasted the flavor of a simple, but still well made omelette on rice. Your eyebrows shot upwards. “It’s good,” you said, surprised.

“Sure is,” Kid chuckled, while sprawling out on the bed, only wearing his underwear. “Can’t go without a good meal at least once a day. Usually it’s—What?”

You realized that you must have made a funny face and gulped down the bite you just chewed. “To be honest, I didn’t take you for someone who cares about something like this.”

Eustass Kid snorted. “Thought I’d survive on the blood of the sorry fucks I butcher?”

You felt your face flush slightly. “No, but—”

“Because sometimes I do.”

You stared at him. “You’re fucking with me?”

Kid let out a barking laugh. “Course I am. Fuck, yer so gullible it’s not even funny.”

You shot him a sour glance, digging your fork back into the rice with slightly too much force.

“So everythin’ fine with Killer again?”

So he knew you’d been there. Of course he did. You nodded. “He was stable when I left.”

“Dive messed up, eh?”

You almost choked on a piece of omelette, suddenly having lost your appetite.

“No need to lie, doc, I’m not gonna kill her,” he drawled.

Yeah right. “How’d you know?” You coughed.

“Can always rely on my gut. So why’d ya not tell?”

Shit, he’d played you. Who would have thought he’d actually be able to draw his own conclusions? There was no getting out of this now. “She asked me to.”

Eustass Kid whistled. “I see.”

You couldn’t tell if he was upset. He was just looking at you. It wasn’t comforting. “It wasn’t a big deal, she just did what she thought was right. Killer was never in real danger.”

Kid scoffed. “Stop treatin’ Dive like a child. She doesn’t need ya to pamper her. I know what she’s capable of. Whydya think I let her watch over Kil’?”

“Well, she seemed very—”you were desperately searching for the right word—“fond of you”. You crinkled your nose. The words tasted wrong on your tongue.

The red haired pirate shot you a wolfish grin, crossing his arms behind his head. “Find that hard to believe, huh?”

You instantly shook your head, smelling a trap. “No, it’s just—”

“Jeez, doll,” Kid grunted. “Speak yer fuckin’ mind, will ya? No need to butter me up, I’m startin’ to think yer all talk.”

You took a deep breath, feeling like you were about to sign your own death warrant with your next words. “I just thought you’d be the kind of captain to be feared by his crew. You’ve got quite the reputation, you know.”

Eustass Kid shook his head. “Fear doesn’t buy you loyalty.”

“Not in the long run, no,” you agreed, scraping together the last bites of your meal.

Eustass Kid waved you off, seemingly not interested in further conversation. “‘Nough of that. Got another job for ya tonight.”

“I told you, Killer is fine—”

“It’s not ‘bout him, it’s my back,” Kid groaned, rolling on his stomach. “It’s killin’ me.”

You arched your brows. “I’m a doctor, not a masseuse,” you replied, slightly irritated. What was that again?

“What, it’s beneath you?” Kid sneered. “Remember, when I tell you to fix something, you fix it.”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes and got up. You weren’t exactly keen on touching him, but since you had been wanting to get back in his good graces, this might be your chance.

“Where exactly does it hurt?”

“Fuck, better ask me where it doesn’t,” the redhead replied, his voice muffled by his pillow.

“That’s helpful,” you said dryly, but you got on your knees next to the bed and started by working your hands down his neck. “Here?” You pressed down.

“Nah, lower,” Kid grunted. “More to the left.” You moved your fingers under his left shoulderblade, causing the pirate captain to curse under his breath. “Shit, right there, doc.”

You felt his muscles tense under your hands, slowly deepening your touch, causing Kid to let out a low grunt. Feeling a knot under your fingers, you did your best to loosen the muscle tissue, starting with rubbing his skin until it warmed up before spreading and kneading the flesh in circular motions. Eustass Kid wasn’t subtle with his responses. He groaned shamelessly into his pillow, making you feel like you did more than just massage his back. You tried to block it out, focusing your gaze on his shoulderblade while trying to imagine the underlying muscles.

“Fuck, doll, just like that,” Kid groaned.

You wanted to suffocate him with his pillow. Everything about this man was just so vulgar. Your gaze wandered over his back down to his legs. He was massive. And not a single scar on his back. You almost froze. Did he just moan? You had the sudden urge to wash your hands. Instead, you pressed your nails down as hard as you could, hoping to get a sound of pain out of him. Instead, Captain Kid seemed to enjoy himself even more.

“Shit, you were really made for this,” he growled.

You wanted to let out a desperate chuckle. Sure, you’d dreamed your whole life of becoming the masseuse of one of the most infamous pirates of the Grand Line.

You stared out of the round porthole into the dark night, barely stifling a yawn. The repetitive motion made your eyelids grow heavy. Your movements slowed.

You were startled by Kid’s voice. “Did I tell ya to stop?”

Chapter 3 - Yer scared yet?

The captain’s quarters were located slightly further away from the other cabins on the lower deck. As soon as Kid had closed the door behind you, he sat you down.

You looked around. It was different from how you had imagined it. Comfortable, almost luxurious. A huge workbench sat on the right, tools hanging neatly ordered on the wall above. A single wooden post split the room in half. A purple carpet covered the ground before the bed. It was massive. Were those silken covers? You gulped as you imagined yourself lying there. On the other side of the room was a table, covered in maps. Next to it was a door, supposedly leading to a washroom.

You took a few steps forward and then stood kind of awkwardly in the middle of the room, still drenched in blood, not sure what was expected of you now.

Eustass “Captain” Kid didn’t seem to care. “So it’s true what they say,” he suddenly said, dumping your satchel on the table. “You’ve got talent.”

Your eyebrows shot upwards. Of all the things, you hadn’t expected this. “That almost sounded like a compliment.”

“Too soon for that, so no need to get yer panties into a twist,” Kid smirked. He almost seemed like a human being at that moment.

You wished that you could read human behaviour only half as good as symptoms of poisoning. Maybe you could make this work without getting killed in the process if you just played along. You tried to return the smirk. “You know you could have just booked an appointment and spared us the whole trouble,” you said, gesturing to the dagger in your thigh.

The red haired captain approached you, his gaze lurking over you. “How come ya sound so brave all of a sudden? Could have sworn you pissed yer pants back on your ship.”

“I wasn’t scared for my own life.”

The pirate whistled. “I see, so it was about yer pretty captain. You two screwin’?”

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

“Shit, that’s a yes.”

“Not all guys see women just as objects to shove their dicks in.”

Your words didn’t seem to set him off in the slightest. On the contrary, a lazy grin was spreading over his face. “Nothing wrong with wanting a pussy to keep you warm at night.”

You felt your anger bubbling up inside you. Keep it together, you thought. You’d met a lot of men that had been the same sort of disgusting asshole. Too many.

Eustass Kid was still smirking when he continued. “I know he was hopin’ for a piece of that ass when he was begging to throw his life away.”

This brute just knew what buttons he needed to push. “He’d do the same for anyone in his crew, but I see how that would surprise you,” you hissed.

Kid moved fast. You instinctively took a step back, only to be stopped by the wooden post in your back. Before you could react, your arms were pinned above your head by a strong hand. Your breath caught in your throat as you stared into eyes devoid of any mercy.

“Tell me, doll, you’re scared now?” Eustass Kid breathed in your face.

“Y-yes,” you admitted.

“You should be. I could snap this neck of yours like a twig.” You gulped, feeling thick, calloused fingers slowly dancing over your neck as to undermine his words. “You’re pulse is racing, like a rabbit’s,” Kid remarked.

“Well.” You tried clearing your throat. “That’s a normal physical response to fear.”

The red haired pirate suddenly laughed. “You’re funny, doc.” His grip over your neck tightened. “But that doesn’t mean you can keep runnin’ that smart mouth of yours like that. I’ll let it slide for now ‘cause you may have saved Killer tonight. But you better pray you really did or I’ll show you what it means to care for your crew.”

And with that, he let go of your arms, almost making you stumble. He turned around, paying no further attention to you. You blinked. What had just happened?

Kid threw his big cape on a chair, leaving him bare chested. He unhooked the weapons from his belt almost gently, storing them alongside his goggles in a drawer. You didn’t miss that he locked it. As he pulled down his pants you turned around, facing the door.

“No need to play coy, doc,” Eustass Kid chuckled. “Bet ya can’t wait to take a good look.”

God, he was really full of himself. It made you sick. You decided to ignore it as long as you could, although his comments didn’t leave you with much hope that it would be for long. “Can I use the bathroom? I’d like to wash up,” you said, still facing the other way.

“Don’t care about a little blood,” Kid said.

Nah, I bet you don’t, you thought. Although a little blood was an understatement. Your clothes were soaked and your skin felt sticky. “There’s also the dagger still stuck in my thigh,” you tried again.

The pirate grunted, as if he’d already forgotten about that. You interpreted that as a sign of approval and made your way to the bathroom, gratefully noticing that Kid now wore a pair of loose cotton pants.

To your dismay, the captain stopped you before you could enter. “Sit. Can’t have ya runnin’ around with weapons on my ship.”

You tried to wave him off. “It could get messy, I wouldn’t want to bleed on your carpet.”

Eustass Kid opened a drawer and threw a towel at you. “Either you do it here, or I’m gonna rip it out myself.” He roughly manoeuvred you into the chair and crouched down in front of you. 

You were cornered. Shit. You had wanted to prevent this exact situation.

“What, you want to watch? Is that how you get off?” You asked in a mocking tone.

Kid didn’t bite. “Maybe,” he shrugged. “Ya do make some interestin’ noises when in pain. Now quit stallin’.”

There was no point in delaying the inevitable any longer. You gritted your teeth as you unwrapped your leg, slowly pulling out the dagger.

“Don’t hold back on my account doc, let it all out,” Kid said, patting your leg, his pupils unmistakingly dilated.

“You’re sick,” you panted, the pain and a warning grip on your leg making you wince.

You dropped the bloody dagger on the table, instantly covering the wound with the towel. You didn’t talk while you pressed one hand down on your leg. The gaze of Eustass Kid never left you. You picked up your other dagger from your belt, carefully cutting up the fabric of your pants, which proved to be quite difficult with only one hand in this position. While questioning your sanity, you spun the dagger in your hand, holding the hilt out to Captain Kid.

“Now you want my help? Ballsy. Maybe I’ll show ya how sick I am.”

Perhaps this had been a mistake, but again you weren’t left with much of a choice here. Besides, this could be the first step in making him trust you. “I could need a hand,” you said, while almost pulling your hand with the dagger back.

The red haired pirate snapped it right off your hand before you could think twice. He started where you left off, slicing the fabric open all the way. He was precise, so when the blade broke your skin at some point, you knew he’d done it on purpose. Just to remind you that he could. Bastard. The cut wasn’t deep and didn’t even really hurt, but it was enough to draw the faintest trickle of blood and make your breath hitch for a moment. You pulled your bottle with ethanol from your satchel, uncorking it with your teeth and disinfected the stabbing wound before patching it up.

“Thought it would bleed more,” the redhead said, cocking his head. “Didn’t ya say you’d hit somethin’ rather important?” His gaze was wary. Did he figure it out?

“The bleeding must have already stilled on its own,” you tried your luck.

“Bull. One more chance, doc.”

You were screwed. You briefly closed your eyes before saying quietly, “I bluffed.”

“How?”

“I intentionally didn’t stab an artery. It's just a fleshwound.”

“So you lied to me?” Eustass Kid asked. His tone was way too calm.

You shifted in your seat. “I didn’t plan for it. You left me no choice. I was truthful about everything else, though.” 

Captain Kid didn't answer, just kept crouching in front of you, his gaze unwavering. You clenched your fists until your knuckles turned white. Cold fear pressed your lungs together, making you feel like you were suffocating. You could tell it were symptoms of an approaching panic attack, but for once, rationalizing a situation didn’t help your emotions to calm down.

“If you want to kill me now just do it already,” you blurted out, unable to bear the silence any longer.

“You’re so eager to die?” Kid drawled.

You blinked. “No.”

He clicked his tongue. “Figured. You know if there’s one thing I can respect it’s not backin’ down, standin’ up for what you believe in. For your crew, for your captain, no matter the cost. Being loyal.”

“Thank you,” you whispered.

Kid paid you no mind. “Thing is, they don’t own your loyalty any more. I do. As long as I decide for. Unless it was just empty words you spilled while being down on your knees for me.”

You shook your head. “I’m not going back on my word.”

“And?”

“I’ll do anything you ask of me to repay my debt,” you said, locking eyes with the pirate.

“That’s right you will,” Eustass Kid said. “I’m your captain now. You're sailing under my flag, followin’ my orders, even if you’re just a prisoner. So if I tell you to fix something, you fix it, if I tell you to jump, you fuckin’ jump and if I tell you to warm my cock at night, you’ll just do it. Understood?”

A chill went down your spine. Your whole body was fighting the word coming out of your mouth. You felt ready to throw up when you finally said, “yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes, Captain.” You hated how obedient you sounded.

Kid seemed pleased, readying himself to get up, just to stop right in front of your face. “Oh, just so we’re clear.” He suddenly pressed his thumb right on your freshly bandaged wound, his hand gripping your thigh hard. “That little stunt ya pulled? It will be your last. Try to screw me over again, I will kill you. You’re not the only doctor on the Grand Line.”

“Ugh, yes,” you winced in pain. Eustass Kid pressed down one more time, causing your whole body to shake from the pain that was shooting through you. “F-fuck, I got it,” you whined.

His nostrils flared as he took a deep breath. Finally he got up, leaving you panting on the chair. You felt cool sweat dripping down your forehead. “We’ll see,” he said while turning around. “At least the pain is real. Bathroom is right here but I call dibs.”

You couldn’t help but let out a desperate chuckle at the sudden moodswing, your pulse pounding in your ears. Reading people had never been easy for you. With Eustass “Captain” Kid, it seemed impossible, which made it all the more scarier. You were in deeper shit than you had imagined. You remained in the chair, not trusting your legs to support you just yet. The middle of the bandage turned red. You groaned. Bloody hell.

The bathroom door flew open again. “All yours.”

“Thanks,” you murmured. You pulled yourself to your feet, using the table for support. Grabbing your bag, you limped to the bathroom door.

“Hey, doc,” Kid called out.

“Yeah?”

“Ya bleedin’,” he smirked.

You wanted to punch the wall. “Wound must have reopened.”

“And hurry up, I’ve run out of patience for today,” the pirate said before you could close the door behind you. His words made you gulp again.

Alone. Finally. You let out a long breath. You quickly scanned the room. A toilet, shower with a bathtub and a basin with a mirror. There were quite a lot of different cosmetic jars and flasks standing on the edge of the basin. So he was a vain piece of shit on top of everything else, you shouldn’t have been surprised. On top of it you spotted eyeliner, nail polish and a small cosmetic jar with a deep purple paste in it. You were almost sure it was Kid’s lip paint. But you were too tired to find out. This had been one of the shittiest days of your life, and you felt like the worst part was yet to come. Not counting that day of course. You shook the thought off before it could haunt you here. You were sure you’d need every ounce of willpower for what lay ahead.

When you glanced in the mirror you almost didn’t recognize yourself. You were pale, your hair a sticky mess, dark circles under your eyes from your own eyeliner. But more than anything else, you were soaked in blood. Not only your hands and arms, your whole blouse, your trousers. Stains of blood were covering your face where you had wiped off your hands. Your pants were hanging in tatters. You looked like a goddamn murder victim. Did I look like this the whole time? It somehow made the whole situation even more absurd. You tried to picture how you must have looked when Captain Kid had carried you over the deck. Your body started shaking again. You felt like you needed to burst out laughing hysterically, before you remembered who that blood belonged to. Well, mostly.

Just don’t do anything reckless, you stupid hero, you thought. Soon you would reach the Sabaody Archipelago. At least that’s where you supposed Kid must have been heading too. Killer should have woken up by then. Hopefully. Maybe that meant your debt would be paid and you could just go back to the Lark Pirates, to Manitso and Nikolai. You didn’t want to think about any other options.

You realized that you would soon be dozing off where you stood, so you hopped quickly under the shower, washing dirt, sweat and blood away. Afterwards you renewed the bandage on your leg, roughly brushed through your hair with your fingers and towel dried them. You looked around. What were you supposed to wear? Your old clothes or rather what was left of them were bobbing around on the surface of the sink.

You sighed, slipping back into your bra and panties. There were traces of blood on them too, but it was better than nothing. You still wrapped a towel around you. The thought of leaving this room in only your underwear made you feel even more vulnerable than you already did. Although that was probably the least of your worries. The sick feeling in your stomach returned. There was not a single doubt inside you about the intentions of the red haired captain. But you would be damned if you’d just lay there like some helpless victim. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of showing how much you dreaded this. He wouldn’t break you. You have endured far too much for that. You briefly closed your eyes. Just get it over with.

Kid was already lying on his bed when you reentered the bedroom. His shaved brows arched slightly as his gaze flickered over you. “Almost forgot how ya look without all that blood on you.”

You gulped, grateful for the towel. “Don’t tell me you don’t like women all covered in blood,” you said, trying to sound brave.

The red haired captain chuckled. “Touché.”

You cleared your throat, clinging onto your last ounce of delusion that he would spare you, at least for now. “You, ehm, got any clothes for me?” You asked, shifting uncomfortably on your feet.

His crooked grin returned. “Why, you gettin’ all shy with me again?”

You were so tired. Tired from the day and of his little games. Your whole body ached and you felt like you were on the brink of a meltdown. “I’d just prefer to sleep in a clean shirt, that’s all,” you said firmly.

“Who said anything about sleepin’? Now get yer ass over here.”

Your stomach turned. So this was it. You’d known it would come to this eventually. Still, you had held out a little hope. You wanted to smack that damn smirk right out of his face. He might be able to take your body, but that would be the only thing he’d get. So you just shrugged, let the towel fall and walked over to the bed, expression blank, like the feeling of sickness didn’t increase with every step you took towards him.

Kid’s eyes flew open slightly as he took in the view of you in your blood stained underwear. He whistled. “Shit, not bad, doc.”

You wanted to scream, shut up. Instead you climbed onto the bed and straddled Eustass Kid as if it was the most normal thing in the world. You half expected him to grab you, rip off your underwear and have his way with you. But nothing happened. You licked your lips. How were you even supposed to start? It had been a long time since you’d got this close to a man. And back then it had been at least someone you had liked, to a certain extent. And the only thing you felt when looking down at the smirking face of Eustass “Captain” Kid was pure disgust. It wasn’t like you cared much for this stuff anyways, it had always seemed like a waste of time to you.

Your leg started throbbing and the longer you were sitting there the awkwarder you felt. His unrelenting gaze made you feel even more exposed than you were. Your thoughts shifted to Nikolai. Did your captain almost die for you to climb up on this monster? You shook the thought off. Now wasn’t the time for thinking about him. Just think of this as a procedure, something purely physical. You focused on Kid’s chest, avoiding his gaze. He was all muscle, like a marble statue. You hesitated briefly, but then you let your fingertips ghost over his abs up to his chest. You leaned forward, until your faces were so close you could feel his breath on your face.

“Knew you’d be real easy for me,” the redhead smirked.

You dug your nails in your palm. Why was he making this harder than it needed to be? You wished he would just shut his big mouth. Maybe then you could just pretend for him to be somebody else. You leaned back slightly, fumbling with the hook of your bra, until Kid suddenly grabbed your wrist, stopping you in your movement.

“What’s next, doll?”

“I–” you looked at him, dumbfounded. Was that a trick question?

“As much as I’m enjoyin’ the show, I’m not in the mood to fuck you right now and yer clearly not into it either.”

“But you said—”

“Aww, yer really adorable with that look, ya know that? All doe-eyed and stuff. I was just screwin’ with ya. Gotta admit I didn’t think you’d be so eager to jump my bones.”

A flush of heat rose to your cheeks. “But you—you are”—You were desperately searching for a word to describe him that wouldn’t push him to fulfil his threat.

“A monster?” Kid offered. “So I gotta be a rapist too? That's cute. Believe it or not, doll, there are women dyin’ for a chance to hop in my bed.” You let out a snort of disbelief but the pirate just continued. “So I don’t need to rape anyone. It’s not my fault you can’t keep it in your pants.”

“Fuck you,” you just said.

Eustass Kid chuckled. “I’m sure I will, but I’ll wait until you beg me for it. You should see yourself. All flushed, ready to get on all fours for me.” Before you could reply, he continued. “That’s what you were playin’ at, heh? Would explain you throwin’ yourself at me this quickly. So hungry for my cock.”

You wiggled yourself out of his grip, fuming. “Yeah, right. Why am I even in your quarters when I could just be in a cell?”

“Told ya, gotta keep an eye on you of course. Still need ya. And it’s a nice view.” His gaze wandered over your half exposed body.

You were too angry to care anymore. “I am so tired of your games. I thought you’d have your way with me no matter what so I just wanted to get it over with. It’s just sex, after all.”

The red haired pirate barked out a laugh. “Just sex, huh? You wouldna say that if I actually fucked you. Seems like yer pretty boyfriend isn’t doin’ it for ya since you’re so willing to spread your legs for the first guy you come across. Don’t blame ya though, it was pathetic how fast he came to kneel before me.”

Something inside you snapped. All the pain, the fear and the exhaustion finally got the better of you. Before you could think better of it, you had slapped Eustass Kid straight across the face. “Don’t you dare talk of him that way, he’s twice the man you’ll ever be and he’s going to find the One Piece before you,” you yelled. Kid had grabbed both your wrists at your outburst so you spat on his cheek.

“That was a mistake, doll,” Kid snarled. You saw stars as his hand met your face, yanking your head to the side. In a split second, the pirate captain had pinned you underneath him, your arms secured with one hand. “Let’s play a little game. It’s called tit for tat. I do believe in equality.”

You let out a forced laughter, your ears still ringing. “Yeah, I’m sure you believe that.” You tried to kick, to bite, but his grip was like iron, his weight pinning you down. “Let go of me!”

“Not yet,” Kid replied, slightly panting himself. “Open up.”

You shook your head, all your instincts screaming to put up a fight. You felt his large hand at your jaw, squeezing it until you thought you heard a bone crack, forcing you to open your mouth. He spit in it.

“Swallow,” he ordered.

You felt yourself tearing up, wishing you could stab Eustass Kid’s guts. But in the end you had no choice but to obey. Something hard pressed against your groin.

You stared at him in disbelief. “That’s doing it for you, huh?” You tried to break his grip once more.

“Stop squirmin’,” Eustass Kid said, a strange edge to his voice.

“Why? Cause it’s turning you on? Having a helpless woman pinned underneath you? Thought you weren’t a rapist.” Your voice was growing louder again.

“Maybe I’ll make an exception for you,” Kid growled.

“Let me go you sick fuck!” You screamed.

Kid yanked you up and dragged you out of the bed by your hair. “Seems like you still didn’t learn your lesson. If you wanna act like a brat I'm gonna treat you like one.” He pushed you roughly down against the wooden post. With a snap of his fingers, a pair of chains appeared, shackling you to the post.

He stepped back, still panting. “Maybe I was goin’ too soft on you. I don’t have to play nice and I told you I won’t let you disrespect me. Maybe a night on the floor will help you cool down.”

“Aren’t you a tough guy,” you scoffed.

The red haired pirate shook his head. “You really don’t know when to shut your mouth, doc.”

“Why don’t you set an example then? I know all about guys like you, all big talk as long as you have the upper hand. You’re not scaring me, you piece of shit.” You could feel that you had crossed a line before Eustass Kid even opened his mouth. It was as if the temperature in the room had just dropped a few degrees.

“You wouldna say that if you knew one thing about me. Wanna get out of here so badly? Have it your way.” With a quick gesture, the chains around the post got released, only to tie your wrists together in front of your stomach. Before you could even try to react, your body was sent stumbling towards him by the chains. He grabbed your wrists, roughly pushing you in the direction of the door. “Move, doc. You can stay in the crew’s quarters.”

Cold fear gripped your heart. You felt like you needed to throw up on the spot. “No, no, you don’t need to do this,” you stammered, trying to push your feet into the ground.

The red haired pirate didn’t answer when he dragged you further towards the door.

“Please, I’m sorry,” you sobbed, feeling yourself tearing up.

“You’re not sorry, doll, but you will be.”

“No, please, I’m begging you I—” your voice broke when you choked on your own words, the panic finally overwhelming you. Your fingers desperately scratched over his arms, tears spilling down your cheeks. You were starting to hyperventilate.

Eustass Kid stopped, looking down on your tear-stained face, your lips quivering. “Where’s all that attitude now, huh?”

“I—don’t do this, I’ll be good, I promise,” you croaked. Every last drop of resistance had been pulled out of you by his words. The thought of spending the night in a room full of the Kid Pirates was more than you could bear. If they were just half as bad as their captain, there was no way you’d recover from this.

The red haired pirate remained motionless for a moment. “Shit, doll, you’re lucky I like to see ya beg. So you changed your mind?”

You nodded, still sniffling. “I want to stay here, p—please.” If presented with the choice between one monster and multiple ones, you knew what you’d choose.

Kid whistled. “That’s what I thought.”

You didn’t put up any resistance when he chained you back to the post, instantly crumpling together on the ground.

Eustass Kid went to bed without saying another word, turning off the lights.

You sat there in the darkness, arms tied behind your back, heart and thoughts racing. You hated Eustass “Captain” Kid with every fiber of your being. And you hated yourself for falling for his sick, twisted games. You bit your lip until you tasted blood. What should you do now? It wasn’t like there was a guideline in any of your books for a situation like this. This was so screwed up in any way you could think of.

Just a little longer, you told yourself. Even if he didn’t intend to let you leave his ship on Sabaody Archipelago, you’d manage somehow. You chewed on your lip. No matter how you approached it, you needed to get back on his good side, which meant playing nice while biding your time. And then you’d take the first opportunity to flee and never look back.

Chapter 2 - Fix him

You felt every movement of Kid’s muscular shoulder under you while he went down the stairs. It had all gone so fast, that your brain still hadn’t quite comprehended what was going on. You had tried to look back at your ship as long as possible, capturing the image like a photograph. The pirate carried you with no regard for how much your body shook with every step, leaving you no choice but to grip his cape tightly to keep yourself stable. Your head was spinning and not only because of the constant shaking. What did the captain of the Kid Pirates want from you? What was so important, that he needed to ambush another pirate ship for that? It did seem to be pretty urgent. You had no idea what you were in for or if you would be even able to help. Although that wasn’t really an option if you wanted to make it out of here alive. Under all the fear and confusion you felt something else: professional curiosity. At this point you just prayed it really was a medical emergency and not just a whim of this red haired maniac. You half expected Eustass Kid to drag you to his quarters immediately, but no one could have prepared you for what you were about to see.

You ended up in a tidy, dimly lit room. From your hanging upside down position you could see a man with long blonde hair laying on a flatbed in the middle of the room. Strands of his hair stuck to his sweaty forehead. His chest was bare except for a messy bandage covering the left side of his stomach. A white and blue mask was sitting on the table beside the bed. You had heard of this man, seen his wanted poster. The Massacre Soldier, Killer. You frowned. He looked so…normal. You had always assumed that his face must have been covered in nasty scars, hence the mask, or that he would at least look true to his name.

A small girl with green pigtails sat next to the table on a chair. You hadn’t even noticed her at first, too distracted by Killer’s appearance. She was still young, probably not older than seventeen and of slim build. The girl stared at you wide eyed when her captain carried you into the room, her hands clasping a wet rag. But for all the surprise painted on her face, the slight reveal of a remarkable toothing grin couldn’t hide the fact that there was a cheeky side to her.

Kid grabbed you roughly by the hip and put you down, making you hiss once more. “Fix him,” was all he said.

On the other side of the bed, you saw your medical supplies, roughly stuffed into various bags and tossed onto a couch. Next to the couch in a corner stood a small bookshelf. So what, the Massacre Soldier was chilling here in his free time, reading fucking novels? This was all getting more confusing by the minute.

Captain Kid followed your gaze. “Didn’t know what ya needed, so we just took everything.”

You couldn’t help but snort.

“Somethin’ the matter, doc?” The red haired pirate asked, a dangerous edge to his voice.

You swallowed the words on your tongue. “No, thank you, that will be helpful.”

“Thought so. Now stop staring and get to work.” Turning to the girl, he asked, “Any change here, Dive?”

Dive shook her head while standing up and straightening her bony shoulders. “No, boss, I’ve continued to try and cool his body down but it doesn’t seem to make a difference.” She sounded defeated, as if she alone was to blame for the condition her comrade was in. There were dark circles under her round eyes.

You furrowed your brows slightly. That girl didn’t seem to fit in with this bunch of barbarians.

Eustass Kid just made a grunt that could literally mean anything. But you didn’t speak ogre.

You limped to your bags to pull out a bandage, wrapping it firmly around your leg, holding the dagger in place. You then made your way to the Massacre Soldier on the bed, laying a hand on his forehead. “He is burning up,” you murmured. Pearls of sweat were pooling over his muscular chest. A glimpse under the bandage on his stomach confirmed your suspicion. The wound was infected, yellow pus oozing out and drenching the bandage.

“What happened?” You asked, without turning around.

“Got hit by an arrow, but we got the tip out clean.” Eustass Kid replied.

You hummed, your fingers wandering over the man’s stomach, carefully applying pressure. He didn’t react.

“How long has he been like this?” You asked.

By the looks of it, Kid had given the girl a nod, because she was the one answering now. “He was injured three days ago. At first we didn’t notice anything wrong, until he developed a fever. He said he was feeling fine, but I think he was growing weaker. When I went to look for him yesterday, I couldn’t wake him up.” Her voice almost wavered but she tried to keep a brave face.

So Killer had downplayed it until he had literally collapsed. You pushed back all the snide remarks your brain was currently working out about fragile masculinity. Dive was clearly upset, looking at you with a silent plea in her big eyes.

You cleared your throat, trying to shoot the girl a comforting smile. “I see. So what did you do to treat him until now?”

Dive shot a nervous glance in the direction of the door. “I—I tried to get the fever down with cold compresses. But somehow it doesn’t work.”

Behind you, the red haired captain let out a curse under his breath, hitting his fist against the doorframe. “Enough of this. Can you fix him?” He asked through clenched teeth.

You could tell he was growing impatient. “I don’t know yet,” you replied honestly. You lifted Killer’s eyelids. His pupils were dilated, the white of his eyes red. You chewed on your lip while you searched in the archives of your brain for a fitting diagnosis.

Suddenly, you heard a gun cock behind your head. You lifted your gaze to see Eustass Kid still standing in the entrance, one hand raised. He was using his devil fruit powers.

“Maybe this will help you think,” the pirate said. “Here’s the deal. If he dies, you die.”

“How comforting,” you murmured, trying to distract yourself from the jolt of fear that was shooting through you. Normally while doing a procedure there wasn’t much that could disturb your calm. But you had never worked while Eustass “Captain” Kid was holding a gun to your head. And by the paling of Dive’s face, you guessed that it wasn’t an empty threat.

“What’s that, doc?”

You met his burning gaze, trying to stand your ground. “I’m doing all I can here, I already promised you I’d help you and I stand by my word. There is no need for threats and it won’t speed things up if there’s a gun to my head.”

Eustass Kid scoffed. “A reminder can’t hurt. Don’t know what yer word is worth yet.”

The barrel of the gun brushed over your neck. The same gun that Nikolai had been shot with. Your hands were getting sweaty and you needed a cool head for this. This was starting to get annoying. “I swear I’ll do anything in my power to save him. But if I die, he’ll die for sure, that much is certain.”

“Careful doc, right now I may need you alive, but don’t overestimate your value. Besides, you don’t need your legs or tongue to work, do ya?” Kid snarled.

His words sent a chill down your spine but at least he pulled the gun back into his hand, although it still pointed in your direction. A clear warning. You took a deep breath, trying to clear your head and shifted your focus on the wound again. At first glance, it looked like a common infection. But there was something about these fine, purple lines that were spreading out from the center of the wound onto the unharmed flesh. You felt like you could taste the answer on your tongue but it kept slipping away from you. Eustass Kid was shifting on his feet, stepping closer to you. You needed more time.

“Were any of you in contact with magma jellyfish lately? They are bright red with black patches and hot skin, you would remember if you had.”

“No,” he breathed down your neck. He was standing right behind you. “Enough with the guessing game, doc. Last chance.”

You closed your eyes. Guessing game. He was right, you needed something more solid. You leaned closer to the open wound and sniffed. A faint acidic scent was greeting you. Could it be? You pulled back and turned around. “Have you been to an island with a tropical climate recently?”

Kid stepped beside you, furrowing his non-existent brows. “How’d you know?”

“Did you come across viola moss by any chance? Purple lichens, growing on dead trees,” you clarified, holding your breath.

Eustass Kid nodded slowly. “Yeah, now that you mention it. There were some forest clearings stacked with purple tree stumps, right Dive?”

Dive nodded eagerly, as if she was glad that she could contribute anything of value here.

You let out a long breath. So far so good. But there was only one way to be certain. You dipped your finger in the wound—and licked it. The sting on your tongue confirmed your suspicions and sent a tingle through your chest. Unbelievable. This poison was so rare you never guessed you would run into it here of all places. You turned around and spit on the floor.

“What the hell was that?” Eustass Kid growled.

You were barely able to contain your excitement as you faced him again. “The arrowhead was poisoned,” you explained, trying to sound as indifferent as possible.

“The fuck is wrong with you?” The redhead snapped, following you while you searched through your bags.

“Ah, gotcha!” You mumbled as you pulled out a small brown bottle and drizzled a few drops of the yellow liquid on your tongue. The sting faded. “Don’t worry, I got the antidote,” you explained, barely able to hold back a grin. You knew that it wasn’t the best moment to be cheerful, but you couldn’t help it. The poison of the viola had been kind of on your bucket list since the start of your journey. But since it only grew in very specific conditions and environments, you hadn’t held out much hope.

“What’s there to fuckin’ smile about?” Kid barked.

If your survival instinct hadn’t been clouded by the joy of your discovery, you would have noticed that your life was hanging by a thread at that moment. “The viola moss is a fascinating type of lichen,” you explained while preparing a pipette with the antidote. “It releases a parasitic toxin that can infiltrate every known material, slowly multiplying until it takes over its host. Depending on the concentration of course. That’s also the reason for the dying of the infested trees once they are fully covered. You pulling out the arrowhead slowed the process down and allowed your man to survive, but it didn’t stop the effects. It’s tricky to diagnose, because it’s so rare and because the symptoms are so similar to a common infection.”

You glanced up. Dive’s eyes moved like she was trying to say, shut the hell up.

Eustass Kid didn’t seem impressed by your explanation at all, grinding his jaw like he was considering ripping off your head, the only thing stopping him being Killer’s life hanging in the balance. “Fewer fuckin’ words, doc. So you can fix him?”

You gulped at the sight. “Yes.”

“You better,” he said, pushing you to face Killer again.

You parted the lips of the sleeping man, ready to give him the antidote, when Kid’s hand on your wrist stopped you. His grip was like iron.

“If what you give him isn’t what you say it is, I’ll make you regret in ways you cannot even imagine. You’ll wish you were dead but you won’t be until I make you witness the death of every single little bird on yer crew.”

Fuck. For a moment, you thought your knees were about to give in. You nodded, trying to concentrate on the characteristics of viola moss again that were etched into your mental library. Breathe in. And out. You could feel your heartbeat slowing down. Finally, Eustass Kid released his grip. You felt like it would probably leave a bruise.

You focused back on Killer, making him swallow a generous portion of the antidote before starting to clean and disinfect the wound properly. You reached for a small jar, applying the yellow antiseptic salve evenly over the wound before wrapping it in clean bandages. So your paste made from yellow dot mushrooms had been good for something after all.

Captain Kid coughed. “What’s that? Smells like shit.”

“It’s a salve made from yellow dot mushrooms, they unfold antiseptic effects once dried and mixed with saltwater, and—”

“Shit, I really don’t care for another nerd lesson, doc,” Eustass Kid sneered.

“Well, you asked,” you blurted out, growing more irritated by the minute.

“Ya better watch that smart mouth of yours,” the red haired captain said but you could have sworn that he almost sounded amused for a second. “What happens next? He hasn’t woken up yet.”

You weren’t a fucking miracle worker. “No, and he won’t for at least another couple of days. He’s strong but so is the poison. I neutralized it, but his body will need to battle the side effects for now. Best we can do now is let him rest, keep him hydrated and change the bandages regularly. But as far as I see it, his chances are pretty good.”

Kid eyed you for a moment as if he was weighing your answer, then he shrugged. “You better fuckin’ hope you’re right.”

“It would be best if I stayed here for the next 24 hours,” you offered.

The redhead scoffed. “Yeah, not gonna happen. The girl will keep watch. If anything changes, she’ll report instantly.”

Your jaw twitched slightly, but you knew it would be pointless to argue. He didn’t trust you and you couldn’t even blame him for it. You fed the unconscious pirate some spoons of water, careful to not make him choke, before setting your gaze on the girl again. “It’s Dive, right?”

Her eyes shot upwards to her captain, as if she wasn’t sure she was supposed to talk to you. When Eustass Kid only grunted, she faced you again, slightly raising her chest. “That’s right.”

You tried to keep a straight face. “You’ve been watching over Killer the whole time?”

Dive nodded, almost looking proud at that moment, her toothy grin returning.

“See the angle I hold his head when feeding him the water? It’s to make sure it goes in the right pipe and he keeps it down. Gotta take it slow though and only give him small sips at a time.”

The girl hung on every word of yours. Despite your disdain for the Kid Pirates, you couldn’t help but to take a liking to the girl at that moment.

“It is crucial that he is monitored closely for the next 24 hours, because it will decide if the antidote shows the intended effect.” You heard Eustass Kid rustling next to you, but when he didn’t say anything, you continued. “You said you already tried cold compresses before, keep on doing that for now, especially around the calves, they will help bring the fever down faster. Best case scenario, he will just stay stable with the fever going down and the infection going back. But there is still a chance that the fever doesn’t budge or other symptoms emerge, since his body has been severely weakened.”

Dive nodded, a determined expression on her face. “I understand, thank you, doc.”

Eustass Kid snorted. “Keep it together, Kiddo. If anything changes, you call me, understood?”

“Yes, boss!”

He gave the girl a small nod before turning to you again. You tried to take a step back when he grabbed your hips and pulled you closer.

“You really don’t need to—” But your words fell on deaf ears and once again you hung upside down over the pirate’s shoulder.

“Already told ya I got no patience, doll,” the pirate captain said while leaving the room and carrying you up the stairs to the deck.

You grumbled quietly to yourself. But Kid had heard you, giving your right leg a squeeze. The pain of the dagger that was still stuck in your flesh made you gasp.

A few of his men whistled as their captain carried you over the deck like a ragdoll. “A feisty one, heh? We like them that way,” a man with a mohawk laughed.

Next to him stood a man with light blue hair and stitches on his face. He was the only one not laughing.

“Don’t be too rough on her, boss, she already can’t walk properly anymore” a huge guy with a brown cloak added.

Barking laughter followed the words. You glared at them while Kid’s chest was vibrating from laughing. Men, you thought, disgusted. One of them mimicked fucking the ship’s mast while giving you a wink. He was wearing a hat and a cigarette was lazily hanging out of his crooked mouth.

Chapter 1 - Kid-napped

The night that would alter your course forever started out quietly. You had taken on the first watch in the crow’s nest of your ship, The Mollymark. The sun had just sunken into the dark ocean, painting the horizon in shades of pink and purple. Today you had set sail from the last island before your real destination: In less than two weeks you and your fellow members of the Lark Pirates would finally arrive at The Sabaody Archipelago, your gateway to The New World. The new world. You could almost taste it on your tongue. Every fiber in your body brimmed with anticipation of the new adventure. Especially the thought of all the new medicinal plants you would discover sent a tingle through your chest. Gazing at the sky, you could see the stars slowly taking up the space the sun had previously occupied, scattered around like drops from a spilled liquid.

“Is someone lost in thought?”

The smiling voice of your captain pulled you back to reality. Nikolai Lark, also known as The Golden Lark, sat across from you, legs stretched out, a lazy grin flickering over his handsome freckled face. He was a couple of years older than you, but he hadn’t lost his boyish charms with the years. Tonight he wore his long strawberry blonde hair in a low ponytail. It suited him.

You returned the smile. “Just thinking about what’s to come. We’re so close now.”

“Bet you can’t wait to take on some more of your freaky little experiments, heh?” He teased.

“Is it that obvious?” You couldn’t hold back a wide grin that made your eyes sparkle.

“Nah, not at all,” your captain replied dryly. “Pass the bottle, will ya?”

You handed him the bottle of sake without even looking, too deep into your course of thoughts already. “I’ve almost run out of any special ingredients, not counting the yellowdot mushrooms drying in the infirmary, waiting for me to grind them into a stinky paste. Booring. Besides, you know what the herb vendor in Water 7 said. There are so many plants that never even crossed the border into this side of The Grand Line, meaning no one here even studied them until now. Just think of the possibilities!” You felt your whole face heating up throughout your explanation.

“Someday you will look at a guy like that and he will be very lucky,” Nikolai said, a mocking glint in his emerald eyes.

You blew a raspberry. “Only if there's a rare venom flowing through his veins.”

It looked like he was about to say something else, but instead he narrowed his eyes and got up. “You got the binoculars?” He asked, all signs of playfulness washed from his voice.

You handed them to him. “What’s the matter?” You asked, getting up to stand beside your captain.

“There is a ship,” he murmured.

“Marines?” You asked. So close to Marineford, the base of the navy, running into them was an expected risk. Especially because the headquarters were also close to the Archipelago. Since it was the one stop anyone who wanted to cross the border of the Red Line needed to take, the marines used that to their own advantage in hunting down pirates.

“Nah, it’s—” he squinted. “It can’t be,” he breathed.

A knot was forming in your stomach. “What do you mean, what’s going on?”

Your captain was pale when he turned to face you. “It’s the flag of Eustass “Captain” Kid.”

“Maybe they are just on their way to Sabaody as well?” You offered. A run in with The Kid Pirates was something you could pass on. Their violent reputation preceded them, especially the one of their leader. He wasn’t the supernova with the highest bounty by chance.

“I doubt it. They’ve set their course on us directly. And they’re closing in on us fast. We need to get lost.”

Everyone was up and ready in minutes, though most of your crew hadn’t had enough time to fully recover from the last fight on the island you had just left. Over half of the men and women running around wore bandages, some of them were limping or having their arms in slings. You had done what you could to treat them, but even you couldn’t speed up the healing process of broken bones. Damn it. Of course you had to be the ones to strand on an island full of terrifyingly large and ancient beasts. 

Nikolai bellowed orders for getting the ship up to maximum speed. But the night was too calm and the distance between your ship and The Kid Pirates became smaller by the second. You weren’t going to make it and Nikolai knew it. His fingers brushed through his hair repeatedly while he paced over the deck, coming to a halt beside you. Strands of his hair had loosened from his ponytail, framing his now grim looking face.

“What could they possibly want from us?” You asked, trying to keep a clear head.

Nikolai shook his head, eyes dark. “I don’t know. But it won’t be good, that's for sure.”

Your eyes wandered over your crewmates. Scrawny Eagle Eye Darrow, the crew’s best sniper and the bubbly cannoneer Astrid the Ostrich were the first ones to get in position. Of course. They were all readying themselves for battle, everyone a capable fighter, though Captain Lark was the only one who possessed devil fruit powers. Still they were fearless. And they were all going to die if you’d try to take on Eustass “Captain” Kid.

Nikolai must have had the same thoughts. He gritted his teeth but he still turned on his heels and shouted, “listen everyone! Once Kid arrives, you stand down unless they attack first. Whatever they want, it’s not worth losing our lives over tonight, not when there is still so much ahead of us. But be ready for whatever may come.”

Murmurs of agreement followed the captain’s speech.

“You’re doing the right thing.”

“Do I? Doesn’t feel like it.” Nikolai’s voice was bitter.

“You value the lives of your crew above anything else and always know which battles are worth fighting and which aren’t. That’s the sole reason we’ve made it this far,” you tried reassuring him.

Nikolai grimaced. “Let’s hope I’m right about this too, then.”

A cannonball struck the dark waves beneath you.

You jumped back when the cold water splashed up the railing, your heart hammering in your chest. “Are they—”

“No.” Nikolai pinched the bridge of his nose his nose. “They could have easily hit us if they wanted to. That was a warning.” He turned around to face the navigator, Manitso the Blue Swallow, who was about to  climb up the rope ladder. “Haul in the sails, let’s get this over with,” he shouted.

It was only minutes until the ship of The Kid Pirates had closed in and stopped right next to you. But the time had stretched out like eternity, as if you were silently awaiting your execution. And there was a good chance you were. You could feel Nikolai tense beside you, knowing he was running a dozen different plans through his head at the moment. The railings of the two ships were almost touching now, although The Mollymawk was considerably smaller than The Victoria Punk. Your palms were sweaty around the halt of your daggers. You knew they would be as good as useless in a fight against Eustass Kid, but the cold metal was keeping you grounded. The crew was positioned as Nikolai ordered, with the majority of you on the main deck while your snipers were hidden in the shadows. You felt like you had forgotten how to breathe properly, eying your crewmates only to be met with two rows of grim faces. No one said a word, which wasn’t uncommon for your silent navigator, but usually everyone else was pretty much cracking jokes all the time, especially Nikolai. But not tonight. One could have cut the tension with a knife.

Finally, Eustass “Captain” Kid set foot on your deck, a handful of his men behind him. You hadn’t known how huge he was until this night, since you’d only seen his wanted poster so far. He was massive, more beast than man. A cold breeze brushed through your hair and made you shiver. You could hear Nikolai releasing a long breath. The Kid Pirates didn’t seem set on an immediate attack. At least Eustass Kid hadn’t brought his full force with him. And you were still alive. That’s more than most people could claim who had crossed paths with the infamous red haired pirate.

A wolfish grin played over the painted lips of Eustass “Captain” Kid as his gaze wandered over your crew. “Quite the reception, I’m honored. Almost thought ya were tryin’ to flee. Like little birds.” His voice was dripping with irony. “So who’s in charge of this sorry lot?”

“That would be me,” Nikolai stepped forward, shoulders straight, chin raised.

Kid raised his shaved brows slightly, then he shrugged. “Aight pretty boy, there is no need for this to get ugly. We’re in need of a doc. So hand yours over and we’ll be on our way.”

Your mouth went try, but before you could utter a single word, Nikolai said, “Sorry, haven’t got one on board.” His voice was firm, his posture unshaken.

“That so?” Eustass Kid stepped forward, towering over Nikolai. Your captain didn’t budge although Kid was about two heads taller and invaded Nikolai’s personal space as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “Pity, so there’s nothin’ here for us?” The gaze of his amber eyes bore into Nikolai’s.

You were holding your breath, wondering if lesser men would have already crumbled. But Nikolai didn’t retreat an inch, he just crossed his arms, holding the gaze. “That’s right, so how about you go back to your ship now?”

Captain Kid smirked, turning around to his crew. “Whaddaya think guys, I mess this one up? Wasn’t it the fucking Lark Pirates who had this”—He clicked his tongue—“Raven Doc?”

“That’s right, boss,” one of his men said, the others making noises of agreement.

Your stomach sank. They knew. It was over. You briefly locked eyes with Nikolai. He shook his head barely noticeable.

Kid turned to face your captain again. “Still nothin, heh? Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.” And with that, he pulled out a gun. “Last chance, boy,” he said, almost sounding bored. “One, two—”

A shot broke the silence. Nikolai crushed down on all fours, blood gushing from a wound on his right thigh. He groaned, barely able to hold back his pained expression, but he still managed to raise a hand to order his crew to stand back. Everyone halted in their movement.

Eustass Kid cocked his head, a shit-eating grin spreading over his face. “Oops, sorry, did ya think I’d count to three?” He kicked Nikolai in the stomach, making your captain stumble, but he shook it off. “Not even trying to fight back? Pathetic. Did I break yer wing, little lark?”

The next kick was aimed at Nikolai’s head, making an ugly scrunching sound. You were about to storm forward, when you heard the strained voice of your captain, blood trickling out of his mouth. “Stay back. That’s an order.” His sun kissed face grew pale. He couldn’t hold himself upright any longer, collapsing on the side in a puddle of his own blood.

The redhaired captain looked down on Nikolai’s body on the ground, the disdain clearly painted on his face. “If that’s all it takes to break down a man, he shouldn’t have come here in the first place,” he sneered and spat on the ground.

You clenched your fists to keep them from trembling, eyes glued to the body of your captain. Nikolai was losing too much blood. He had only minutes to live if you didn’t do anything and that was if this brute didn’t take him out before that. This wasn’t the time for following orders. You stepped forward only to be stopped by Eustass Kid’s snarling voice. “Did I say you could move, doll?”

“He’s bleeding out,” you said, barely able to hide the tremor in your voice.

“How’s that my problem?” Kid grunted, scratching the back of his head.

Your gaze flickered to your captain on the ground. His breathing was already shallow.

“Let me through. Please,” you added.

“And why would I do that?” Eustass Kid drawled, eyes cold.

“I’m a doctor,” you said, looking up to the redhead.

The devilish grin split his face in half again. “No shit, could ya repeat that for the class?”

“I’m a doctor,” you repeated, louder this time.

Eustass Kid chuckled but there wasn’t a hint of humor in his voice. “Really? Thought there isn’t one on this ship?”

“I—” your brain seemed to be empty as you saw Nikolai’s body going limp.

“Cat got your tongue?”

You cleared your throat. “I’m sorry. I’ll come with you and do as you wish if you let me tend to my captain.” You realized your mistake too late.

Kid’s expression grew dark. “Makin’ demands now, doc? This isn’t a negotiation, you got nothin’ to bargain with. I’ll take what I came here for and that’s that.”

He was right. You had nothing to bargain with. But if you left now, your captain was probably going to die. An image flickered before your eyes. Nikolai holding his hand out to you, a boyish grin playing over his lips. You’re coming or what? You felt yourself tearing up, thinking of all the times your captain and friend had saved you. And you were unable to save him while his life was washing away, forced to stand by. You looked up to Eustass “Captain” Kid, a silent plea in your eyes.

“Aww, you gonna cry? Thought ya were a brave little pirate,” he cooed. “Fine, convince me. Beg me for it.”

You didn’t hesitate. “Please, Captain Kid, let me save his life. I’ll do anything.”

Kid clicked his tongue. “I know ya will. Now say it like you mean it. I know you can do better.”

You stared at him in disbelief, his gaze unrelenting. So it was true what they said. He really was a monster. You sank to your knees. Someone gasped. You knew you were degrading yourself. You didn’t care. “I’m begging you. I’ll come with you, I’ll do anything you ask of me. Please don’t let him die.”

You felt slightly dizzy. Everything was so absurd. How did you end up here, on your knees, before Eustass “Captain” Kid, begging for the life of your captain who was bleeding out in front of your eyes?

Eustass Kid smirked. “That’s a good look on ya, doll. But you can’t try to fuck me over and expect no consequences. So I got a counter offer for you. You’ll come back with me now and no one else gets shot. Whaddaya say? Clock’s ticking.”

He had been toying with you, like a predator. You’d never stood a chance. A cold fist clenched your heart together. You were left with no choice now. You felt numb as you pulled out one of your daggers.

Kid eyed you from above. “Ya know it’s pointless to try somethin’ like that on me, yeah? But I’ll count that as your answer…”

Before he could pull the trigger again, you had taken your dagger and stabbed yourself in the thigh.

The red haired captain looked baffled for the first time, halting in his movement while you winced through gritted teeth. “The fuck—have you lost your mind?”

You held out one hand, pointing at your captain, the other still on your dagger. “I’ve just punctured my femoral artery. The same artery I presume your bullet hit. Once I pull this dagger out, I’m going to bleed out in minutes. Even with the dagger inside me, I won’t have long if untreated. So let me through now,” you panted.

Kid grabbed your outstretched arm, pulling you roughly toward him. You winced when he forced you to your feet. “And what makes you think I care about ya bleedin’ out like a pig?” He snarled, face mere inches away from yours, his gaze burning bright behind the dark eyeliner.

“You cared enough to enter our ship and attack us. Seems like you need my help as much as I need yours,” you gasped between ragged breaths. It was a long shot but the only one you had.

Suddenly, you felt another hand around yours over the dagger. For a second, you thought he would rip the blade out, but instead he ground it a few inches deeper into your thigh, making you wince. He was following every little movement on your face, his expression unreadable.

“Aight,” he finally said, yanking you roughly around to face Nikolai. “You got until we’ve readied my ship. So you better make it quick.” He dropped you on the ground, making you crumple like a dried leaf, hissing in pain again.

Someone passed you your medicine satchel. You saw blue hair. “Thanks, Manitso,” you murmured, but your eyes were fixed on Nikolai. His eyes were closed, blood still pooling out of his leg. Was he already…? No, he was still breathing. Once you began your examination, your movements became mechanical and you felt yourself relaxing. This was what you knew best. An image of the bones, muscles and vessels of the thigh appeared before your inner eye. You wrapped a belt tightly around Nikolai’s leg and pressed a clean cloth on the wound. “Manitso, I need further pressure here.” You moved the navigator’s hand where you needed it. The bloodstream stilled. Good. You disinfected your hands and tools with ethanol, barely able to see what you were doing. “I need light,” you bellowed. A lantern was provided. It was still too dark for this kind of procedure. Carefully, you cut open the fabric of your captain’s pants and examined the wound with your fingers, eyes closed. Nikolai let out a small groan but you couldn’t be distracted now. The damage wasn’t as severe as you had expected. The bullet had gone through the leg cleanly and the artery was damaged but not completely ruptured. A little suture would be enough to repair the vessel and to give it time to heal properly. You just needed to be quick. Thankfully, your hands had stopped trembling since you’d started the procedure.

After finishing the stitches and bandaging the thigh, you looked up for the first time. Eustass “Captain” Kid was still standing close to you, leaning on the railing, arms crossed, while his crewmates were already gone.

“You done?” He simply asked.

You nodded. Only then you realized that you were sitting in a puddle of blood and your right leg was puckering with hot pain. As you were readying yourself to get up, you could feel fingers brushing lightly over your hand. Nikolai had opened his eyes and called your name. His voice was a rasp, but you had never been so glad to hear it.

“Nikolai!” You whispered.

“That bad, hm?” He tried a crooked smile but could barely lift the corners of his lips.

“Let’s say you’ve had better days,” you replied. Remembering where you were, you added, “don’t put pressure on the leg for a couple of days, it will hurt like a bitch but it will be fine eventually.”

Nikolai’s hand brushed over yours again. “I’m sorry.”

You shook your head. “Don’t be. I’ll see you in The New World.”

“Don’t make promises you don’t know you can keep, doc,” Kid drawled. You were suddenly yanked up again. “Hate to cut this short but we’re on the clock and time’s up.”

You limped over the deck, glancing one last time at your crew. Your friends nodded, silently saying their goodbyes. You desperately hoped it wasn’t farewell. Nikolai gave you a pained smile and Manitso looked up to your jolly roger, like an unspoken promise. You followed the navigator’s gaze to the skull with the beak, wondering if you’d ever see it again. You shook off the thought immediately, promising yourself that you would make it back, no matter the cost. You turned around, focusing on the way ahead next to the railing.

Eustass Kid walked besides you. “Bold move, doc,” he said, gesturing to your limp.

“Not like you left me much of a choice.”

Kid shrugged. “But you made one. And now yer gonna live with the consequences.”

And with that, he tossed you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing and jumped from your railing onto his own ship. You grunted as the dagger was pressed between his chest and your leg.

“Hurts, huh?” the redhead said.

“Obviously,” you pressed.

“Too bad.”

“Let me down,” you demanded, trying to wiggle free once you landed.

A big hand on your lower back stopped you. “Not gonna happen, doc. I’m not a patient man and this way it’s quicker, so don’t make a fuss.”