I woke up from a supersupersuper bad dream an hour ago. I dreamed about louis... I don't want to use that word to talk about lou cause it don't feel lucky if you always grab that kind of word around your mouth especially for him, anyway after I realized it's really just a dream, the first thing came to my mind is I reeeeeeally need to check on lou through the fucking internet. I was even ready to run out my only chance to text him on ins, wanna tell him please be happy and be safe. Then I thought it better be used as telling him I'm going when I could have any chance to see louis concert in person one day... ...
what if losing liam is also a bad dream we didn't wake up from.
l came to this community way too late like ten years after this band apart. but I never regret any of it. l'm happy and lucky to meet a community tight like this. I'm still in the most euphoric stage totally loving them.
It's my hard night right before my final, as always I'd like to put on some music video at my side to went through with it. I've actually just start falling in love with ATL at that time, but I've already seen them videos for a hundred times in a too short period so I scrolled my head and thought about I haven't seen any 1D video yet. I know they are pretty popular back in the days cause I'm actually only six years old when they are hot under the spotlights, you see there's a littlelittle gap within us, so all I know about is their songs wmyb, 18, perfect, best song ever, drag me down, night changes, only these five, I have no idea about any other thing about this band but I love 18 a long time ago, I even recited all the lyrics of this song so I can sing it clearly at my high school which banned for any electric setup, kind of destiny ain't it. So I put on up all night the live tour video, my first crush in the band is Liam, the little waving he shaked when he sang on the stage got me sososososo fooking hard. Li is also the first one I searched for on ins. I'm always a shipper when I stepped into a community. When I see that tour video, I'm like Lilo & Zarry & didn't figure out what to do with niall. btw I knew nothing about larry thing back then. After my first investigation on ao3 is finished, I was like yeah I AM INTOING this community for sure. First of all, respect to every shipper on the internet. I love u all, laying on the bed and drowning in ao3 is the happiest thing for me after a day tortured by life. every night I literally mean it EVERY NIGHT even till today I only sleep after I read Ziam work for at least 30 minutes. Larry work sometimes. I am falling into Ziam community sososososohard and that's why I signed up my first tumblr wanting to find an account called doveziam to follow. I love her. She is a beautiful writer and her wonderful works and touching words pushed me further into this warm community. but I really be here way too late, that account isn't active in recent year. Luckily, I've found so many lovely writers who are also super talented.
Four months is passed, Lili, I only loved you for only four months, I checked your ins every week to see your happy time you shared with us, I totally not see the doom coming. Lili, eight years ago I lost my mother which taught me always to be grateful for what I have, but Lili, you taught me to be grateful IN TIME.
Lili, it's a nickname by Chinese fan for Liam. Don't even know Liam know it or not. there's no more opportunity to tell him that.
What is love even too late for mourning?