forever wishing I was a badass heroine

darth vader is just the phantom of the opera in space

fucked up face. wears a cape. super dramatic all the time

First of all, how dare you…

always enters rooms to his theme music. really likes choking people. clearly owns a shit ton of strobe lights and fog machines

It’s funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on her back, my ex sleeps with everybody. That sorta thing.

do waitresses know that i love them and appreciate everything they do

i had the nicest waitress today who told me my outfit was cute and i wish i was rich cuz I would’ve tipped her so much more if I could

If you ever actually wanna help your waitress out, ask to speak to their manager before you leave and then tell the manager how awesome they are. Trust me, it makes a difference. Servers who get compliments from guests and customers get better hours, and the more you’re liked by the people who come in the more forgiving the bosses are when shit goes awry (say if you’re sick or you have a flat so you’re late, etc). Tell the manager. Do it! Aside from tipping it’s one of the best things you can do for us. Tell the manager you thought we were great. Tell the manager that we’re the reason you’re gonna come back. Talk us up! It’s a little like job security - if you tell the manager we’re the reason you’re here, they’re gonna be a lot more reluctant to let us go because then they’re losing your business, and they don’t want that. 

this is good advice, thank you 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

i got things to DO. i got soap to carve. i got rose petals to sprinkle in my bathtub. i got cats to put through college. i’m a busy person, karen.

how do you clean it?

They’re spilling it girls