What My Life Has Become

This is like one of those art house horror movies with symbolism I don’t understand except I understand what this is trying to convey perfectly holy crap

Dude, you know I’m doing bad when I escape to tumblr.

Forget what she’s wearing, are we just going to ignore the sheer strength she displayed? Sis is holding herself up extended her torso to an obtuse angle and did a situp with a child and didn’t slip a millimeter. 👀👀👀

That, and she’s also bouncing said toddler without slipping a milimeter there at the end, don’t forget that 🤯

I like how the impression isn’t just God, but specifically the Morgan Freeman God.

I’m sorry, is there a different God?

THIS TURNED OUT SO MUCH BETTER THAN EXPECTED

2hr makeout session ft inappropriate touching sounds so good rn

le ancien razzle dazzle

There’s no reason for anyone over the age of 21 to be having a conversation with anyone under the age of 18

“For the last time son, I wont talk to you.”

“im sorry students, but this is the last time im gonna say this. Stop trying to talk to me”

“I’m afraid I can’t hire you, I cannot speak to you.”

“I would tell that kid to get off my lawn, but society isn’t ready yet”

“my new born baby just said it’s first word but I’m not trying to hear that”