dan

This is the perfect visual metaphor for heterosexuality.

dont gays have a power bottom thing? not everything is an attack against women. its supposed to be the moon and the sun. a super old ancient metaphor for men and women since forever. is it an equal metaphor? no i suppose not, since without the sun the moon doesnt shine. its old fashioned which doesnt agree with modern notions of equality necessarily but its a sweet old fashioned thought. the sun shines for the moon and makes its beauty known to the whole world. the sun doesnt hide the moon or demand anything from the moon, it just glorifies everything about it.which is how a man should be in a relationship: a sun to brighten the moon. 

dont gays have a powerbottom thing?

I can’t believe this post only has 108k notes when he is probably the most referenced straight nonsense yet

I had legit forgotten the origins of ‘don’t gays have a powerbottom thing?’ This is like living history

ill never forget the dream i had about this show on nickelodeon that was kind of like malcom in the middle and even stevens and it was called Bitchboy Naughty and like every time they went to a commercial it would fade out w/ kids singing “Bitchboy naughtyyyyyy’ i wish u could hear this tune bc its been stuck in my head for months

It was so awkward when I was walking home because I walked past a nursing home and like….I’m not old so….yea

It was so awkward when I was walking home because I walked past a river and like….I’m not a fish so….yea

It was so awkward when I was walking home because I walked past a car dealership and like….I’m not an automobile so….yea

It was so awkward when I was walking home because I was walking over the sewer the whole time and like….I’m not a piece of shit….yea

It was so awkward when I was walking home because I walked past an atheist and like…I’m a church so… yea

wait what

OMFG where can i get this?

i got mine here! They have some sale going on and i ended up buying it right away(*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑

I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS THING GLOWS IN THE DARK. I LEGIT WOKE UP MY ROOMMATE, BURST INTO HER ROOM SQUEALING, BECAUSE THIS DAMN THING GLOWS IN THE DARK. IT IS THE CUTEST FUCKING THING I EVER SAW. Also if you look really close it has a SMILE that goes :3 It also has a cute little butt. You guys don’t understand, I bought 4 of these fuckers. They are perfect and everyone needs one!!!!

protect her