Odazai ficlet β Part 5
[Dazai is 22 here, Oda is 27. Both old enough to consent. Both old enough to fall in love. Just saying π]
Rain followed them home.
Yokohama shimmered outside the taxi windows in wet neon streaks while silence settled comfortably between Dazai and Oda.
Not awkward silence.
Dangerous silence.
By the time they reached Oda's apartment, the whiskey warmth had faded into something quieter. Heavier.
Oda unlocked the door first.
Same apartment.
Same dim light over the kitchen sink.
Same faint scent of cigarettes and old books.
Home.
Dazai stepped inside behind him and shut the door softly with one hand. Neither immediately moved further.
Water dripped from the edge of Oda's coat onto the genkan tiles.
βYou should sleep,β Oda said eventually.
Dazai hummed.
Didn't move.
Oda sighed faintly and shrugged off his coat, hanging it beside the door. Dazai watched him the entire time with that unreadable expression again. Dark eyes heavy-lidded from whiskey and exhaustion.
Oda could feel it.
That gaze.
Steady enough to make his pulse strange.
βI'll make tea,β Oda muttered.
βFeeling cold?"
βIt's the rain.β
"Mhmm."
Oda moved into the kitchen, reaching for the kettle more out of instinct than thought.
Behind him, he could hear Dazai wandering slowly through the apartment, shoes abandoned carelessly halfway to the living room.
Familiar sounds.
Comforting sounds.
Then silence again.
Too quiet.
Oda turned slightly.
Dazai stood leaning against the kitchen doorway now, sleeves rolled past bruised wrists.
The marks from the restraints earlier had darkened purple on his pale skin.
Oda's expression tightened.
βCome here.β
Dazai blinked.
βWhat?β
βYour wrists.β
βIt'll heal.β
βDazai.β
That tone.
Dazai obeyed before realizing he was doing it.
He settled on a chair beside the low table while Oda disappeared briefly to grab the first aid kit.
When he returned, Dazai had already rested his chin against the tabletop, watching him lazily.
Like a sleepy cat.
Oda sat across from him.
Carefully took one wrist into his hand.
The apartment felt very small all of a sudden.
The kettle began to hum quietly in the background.
Oda cleaned the bruising with practiced gentleness, fingers warm against Dazai's skin.
Too warm.
Dazai stared at him.
No mask tonight. No teasing.
Just those dark eyes following every movement.
Oda's hands trembled once.
A tiny movement.
Dazai noticed immediately.
βYou okay?" he asked in a soft voice.
Oda lowered his gaze.
βI thought...β He swallowed. βI thought I'd watch you die in front of me.β
Dazai's chest tightened painfully.
βYou shouldn't care that much,β he whispered.
Oda let out a quiet breath that almost sounded frustrated.
βThat's not something I can control anymore.β
The room went still.
Completely still.
Dazai looked at him for a long moment after that.
At the tired lines beneath Oda's eyes.
The damp hair falling slightly over his forehead.
The man who refused to kill for years, yet picked up a gun without hesitation when Dazai's life was threatened.
Because he couldn't lose him.
Something inside Dazai gave way quietly.
Slowly, he lifted his free hand.
Oda watched the movement, transfixed.
Dazai's fingers brushed against Oda's jaw first.
Gentle.
Tentative.
Nothing like the fearless executive the Mafia knew.
βDazai,β Oda said softly. "What are you thinking?"
Dazai's smile flickered.
"Can't tell you that."
A beat of silence.
"Odasaku."
"Hm?"
"I can show you."
The words landed between them like a struck match.
Oda's brow furrowed slightly.
"Dazai..."
Dazai slowly leaned in.
Close enough to catch the lingering scent of whiskey on Odasaku's breath.
Smoke woven into his shirt.
"..."
"Don't freak out, okay?" Dazai whispered.
Something uncertain crossed Oda's face.
His hand shot out, fingers closing around Dazai's wrist before he could move any closer.
"Dazai. Look, we..."
Dazai could hear all the reasons hiding underneath it.
Age gap.
Morality.
The fact Oda had known him since fifteen.
The terrifying tenderness of this thing growing between them for years without permission.
Dazai glanced down at the hand around his wrist, then back up.
Odasaku finally met his eyes.
The concern.
The exhaustion.
The quiet affection he never seemed to realize was there.
Dazai's chest tightened.
Oda would never cross that line himself.
Dazai knew that.
Which meant if this happened, it had to be him.
His choice.
His sin.
His ruin.
He slipped his free hand into the front of Oda's damp shirt and pulled.
Oda's grip loosened in surprise.
"Daza..."
The rest of the sentence vanished.
Dazai kissed him.
Soft, cold lips.
A sharp intake of breath.
The faint taste of whiskey.
And one fractured heartbeat.














