I am the salt

Keeping these thoughts at bay was easier as a teenager. School offered me an escape. I got to see and interact with other people. I felt a bit more like a person. Maybe I had a right to exist?

Things have changed for the worst. I'm stuck with my abusive family for the foreseeable future, stripped of all agency and personhood. Everything feels so hopeless and impossible.

They say money can't buy happiness. While that is true, it would solve most of my problems.

I keep thinking of my ex. Would she care if I went through with it? Yeah but she wouldn't be here to stop me. That thought makes me feel bitter and envious toward couples who see each other regularly. Of course I had to fall for someone on the other side of the US.

Working is difficult since my eyesight is getting worse. There are two surgeries (cataract removal and vitrectomy) I need to restore sight in my left eye. (I can see a little bit out of it.) I will also need to be evaluated by a neuro ophthalmologist to figure out what's happening with my right eye.

I didn't mention my sexuality in my gofundme since there is a chance family members could find it. I will be in immediate life threatening danger if they find out.

If you can afford to donate to my go fund me, please do. Reblogs or shares are appreciated as well!

Thank you all

Just when I didn't think things could get worse... I get an email from my job saying they never received documentation regarding my medical condition for medical leave. I called the doctor's office because they should have faxed it the week of July 22nd. So now I have to hope they actually fax it this time around or else I won't have a job to go back to.

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