his ass did not pay the iron price 💀

easy to forget but book jon snow is great actually. he gets so drunk he cries in his first chapter. he's 16 years old and laser focused on loan negotiation. he keeps getting promoted against his will. he's the chosen fantasy protagonist with the worst genre awareness ever. he implements pro immigration social reforms. he has a giant albino pet wolf. he cuts a guy's head off. he thinks he invented cunnilingus. he's been dead for 15 years.

what if theon’s skin and toes and fingers and teeth and cock and balls just did that?

iron islands unironically governed by the law of darkwoke. misogynistic towards flop gay sons but not cool butch daughters. democracy sometimes except everyone who lives there sucks so they democratically elect cthulhu nigh-unanimously. nuncle culture. main entertainment situation is a game where you hurl axes at one another and chop your fingers off but they call it the finger dance which is stupid and gay. salt wives and rock wives = primordial polyamory (evil). no iron islander is supposed to draw the blood of another iron islander (based and woke) so they all just drown each other instead (unwoke) resulting in the perfect darkwokeism ratio. the best asoiaf location unironically. they are PIRATES and they’re BAD at it how #awesome is that.

damn i wish u guys could read this fic i haven't written and this fic i haven't finished writing and this fic i'm putting off outlining and this fic i outlined but haven't started and this fic i'll never write and this other fic i haven't written and this fic that exists only in vague impressions in my head that fall apart every time i try to commit them to the page and th