THE PRINCESS BRIDE 1987 — dir. Rob Reiner

#extradirty
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@salemthewize
THE PRINCESS BRIDE 1987 — dir. Rob Reiner

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danielbear 🤝dan howell
i need phil to keep standing up and doing things directly in front of dan so we can unlock more variations of these
you > everyone in the universe
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Told you guys I had something that would be HUGE!

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Also, regardless of your feelings on human nature or anything, I think that a world where children can go to school without fearing being bombed from an ocean away is a world worth aspiring to and worth fighting for. Okay we might never abolish war because the inherent human nature or whatever mighty idealism you have. We could at least try to stop these wars, though?
Again. Everybody get more anti war right now.
Ilya getting all kiss drunk after making out with Shane for ages. Like curled up on the couch, Shane in his lap, thick blanket wrapped around them because it’s winter and the house is cold but they are so warm pressed together. They both been too sleepy to take it any further- it’s late after a game that ran into overtime, that they both came out of bruised. Shane’s hands have been in Ilya’s hair the whole time, combing through the curls, playing with them, scratching at his scalp the back of his neck and Ilya feels hypnotised, dazed from exhaustion and Shane’s hot pretty mouth and he could die right now and he’d go happily. Ilya’s hands are everywhere, all over Shane’s back and ass and shoulders an up the front of his shirt and over his jaw and his ears, thumbs rubbing his pretty earlobes and he’s so hard but content to do nothing about it really, can feel Shane’s own hardness pressed to him and he he’s so comfortable and his arms are heavy with exhaustion but he can’t keep his hands off Shane, wanting to feel him.
Shane pulls back properly for the first time in ages and Ilya whines a little, eyes still closed chin tilted up mouth searching for Shane’s blindly, leaning in in and he only gets air and he lets out another soft needy sound and Shane’s hands slide down from his hair to cup his face and Ilya looks drunk, swaying a little into Shane’s touch and his hair is fucked, curls frizzy and crazy from Shane’s fingers and his mouth is literally swollen, lips shiny with spit an his perfect cupids bow a little puffy. His fingers are gripping at Shane’s hips pulling him in in and Shane laughs, sways forward and presses his nose to Ilya’s cheek and soothes a hand over the back of his head and Ilya is kiss kiss kiss at Shane’s jaw and ear and wherever he can reach and mumbling come back in Russian and Shane grins because he can understand it without thought and Ilya is nuzzling their faces together into his mouth finds his way back to Shane’s and kisses him like it’s been weeks not seconds. Shane hums and tries to pull back again only for Ilya to wrap his arm round Shane’s shoulders, press him closer to him, other hand coming to his face, holding his jaw so he can push his tongue into his mouth and kiss him wet and filthy. Shane shivers because it’s so much and so fucking good and Ilyas moans into his mouth and Shane manages to mumble “we should go to bed” between slick hot kisses and Ilya says “okay” but keeps kissing kissing kissing Shane. They pull apart when Ilya literally is almost lulled half to sleep by the rhythmic pull of their lips and Shane is literally dragging Ilya to their room, Ilya wrapped around him from behind like he is trying to merge their bodies, kissing all up and down Shane’s neck, shoulders the back of his head.
Ok WAIT WAIT guys im back with more thoughts™️ blame my shift being more chill than I expected. But oKAY listen Ilya is going out to drinks with some of guys from Boston who are visiting and Shane isn’t tagging along because his social battery is 0 and also like wants Ilya to have his guy time without Shane- whatever. Anyway so Ilya is dressed nicely- some slacks and a fitted tshirt that makes his arms looks huge and it’s really not Shane’s fault that their goodbye kiss kinda turned into a goodbye makeout by the door and it’s only when Ilya’s hand slips down the back of Shane’s sweatpants that Shane pulls back and is like Ilya you need to go.
Ilya is just eyes closed kissing and nuzzling at the side of Shane’s face, down his neck and he’s all like go where and Shane is like Ilya, and tugs at the back of his neck a little bit then Ilya’s using his fingers on Shane’s chin to bring his mouth back to kiss and kisses him so soundly that Shane goes a little fuzzy bit after a few long seconds he pulls back and theirs literal spit between their mouths and Ilya leans after him whining and pecking at Shane’s mouth and Shane is laughing like Ilya your uber is definitely there you need to goo and Ilya is just kissing at Shane’s chin mumbling I’m sure the guys will be in Ottawa another time and his hands are all over Shane’s ass and Shane and he’s sucking Shane’s earlobe into his mouth and Shane tugs his hair and is like Ilya. You need to go. And Ilya shakes his head and is like no I will tell them ball and chain needs me. No fun for me. Must stay home with the wife. That makes Shane smack Ilya’s side because he knows Shane likes that and that gets Ilya back at Shane’s mouth more kisses but then realises he’s been duped and he pulls back like no. Okay- Ilya you need to go we can fool around when you get home and Ilya is breathing against his mouth and is like okay just one more and his voice is all low and his sex voice and Shane is like Jesus Christ.
So he literally puts his hand over Ilya’s mouth and pulls back and Ilya blinks his eyes open like a sad puppy and Shane is like Ilya you are leaving right now to go see your friends who came here to see you and Ilya sighs like he’s been shot in the chest because surely no one suffers like he suffers, pretty Shane Hollander in sweatpants and one of Ilya jumpers and his stupid white socks telling Ilya he has to leave him and not be attached to his mouth for the next like four hours minimum. Shane gets a little frown on his face and is like Ilya. In a bitchy little tone and Ilya loves him so fucking badly. Ilya nods and kisses Shane’s palm before he pulls his hand away and is like fine. And then Shane has a pretty little happy smile and says “I love you” and gives Ilya’s one more peck before he pushes him out the door and Ilya has to press his head to the closed room and take like 10 deep breaths of the cold air to try and get rid of his hard on and collect himself.
He texts shane like 4hrs later “I’m coming to get you” and Shane just texts back a picture of him in bed with the caption “night” and Ilya is going to fuck him uuuup when he gets home. He sends him about sixteen heart emojis and tips the uber driver to get him home as fast as possible.
gonna start saying "this is setting men back 10 years" whenever some guy says some dumb shit
"this is really gonna hurt the male community"
The ADHD urge to not
To just not
I have several overdue assignments

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i literally thought me & this guy were on the same side until the last sentences i was nodding along fondly 😭
CPTSD constantly has me acting so cartoonishly stupid. hello my partner of 4 years who has literally never so much as raised their voice in my direction, i heard you doing dishes a little louder than usual in the other room. are you going to kill me?
listen im not HAPPY we’re all going through this. but i am at least relieved that other people can understand the mortal terror of “oh my god i think someone is doing their mundane household chores AT ME!!!!”
one day i will snap out of it im sure
We all got that homie whose air of silliness doesnt hide the haunted look in their eyes😂👆
yall.
YALL.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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joining the war on kids reading any book they want on the side of kids reading any book they want. simply you will be fine. it's even good to be confronted with things you don't understand and even find upsetting, uncomfortable and difficult. it's a surprise tool that will help you later.
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literally ok so not a funny story but kind of funny? when I was nine I encountered rape in a book and I was like hey mom what’s this mean and she explained it and I was like oh. gross. and then like two weeks later a girl on the bus abruptly disclosed her csa and we were all like ????? what ???? but I was like wait hang on there’s a word for that ☝️🤓 and explained what it meant and that it was illegal and that you could talk to a teacher or my mom if it had happened to you and everyone was like ohhhhh I see I see and very somberly comforted the girl (she was safe she was removed from her home and living with my neighbor at the time so it wasn’t Urgent)
And this is a perfect illustration of why it is important for kids to read or variety of things, and why abusers don’t want them to.
I love when a meme gets so many steps away from its source material that it would be completely incomprehensible if I didn't know what today's date was