welcome to hell

THE PRINCESS BRIDE 1987 — dir. Rob Reiner

danielbear 🤝dan howell

i need phil to keep standing up and doing things directly in front of dan so we can unlock more variations of these

you > everyone in the universe

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Shane pulls back properly for the first time in ages and Ilya whines a little, eyes still closed chin tilted up mouth searching for Shane’s blindly, leaning in in and he only gets air and he lets out another soft needy sound and Shane’s hands slide down from his hair to cup his face and Ilya looks drunk, swaying a little into Shane’s touch and his hair is fucked, curls frizzy and crazy from Shane’s fingers and his mouth is literally swollen, lips shiny with spit an his perfect cupids bow a little puffy. His fingers are gripping at Shane’s hips pulling him in in and Shane laughs, sways forward and presses his nose to Ilya’s cheek and soothes a hand over the back of his head and Ilya is kiss kiss kiss at Shane’s jaw and ear and wherever he can reach and mumbling come back in Russian and Shane grins because he can understand it without thought and Ilya is nuzzling their faces together into his mouth finds his way back to Shane’s and kisses him like it’s been weeks not seconds. Shane hums and tries to pull back again only for Ilya to wrap his arm round Shane’s shoulders, press him closer to him, other hand coming to his face, holding his jaw so he can push his tongue into his mouth and kiss him wet and filthy. Shane shivers because it’s so much and so fucking good and Ilyas moans into his mouth and Shane manages to mumble “we should go to bed” between slick hot kisses and Ilya says “okay” but keeps kissing kissing kissing Shane. They pull apart when Ilya literally is almost lulled half to sleep by the rhythmic pull of their lips and Shane is literally dragging Ilya to their room, Ilya wrapped around him from behind like he is trying to merge their bodies, kissing all up and down Shane’s neck, shoulders the back of his head.

He texts shane like 4hrs later “I’m coming to get you” and Shane just texts back a picture of him in bed with the caption “night” and Ilya is going to fuck him uuuup when he gets home. He sends him about sixteen heart emojis and tips the uber driver to get him home as fast as possible.

i literally thought me & this guy were on the same side until the last sentences i was nodding along fondly 😭

YALL.

literally ok so not a funny story but kind of funny? when I was nine I encountered rape in a book and I was like hey mom what’s this mean and she explained it and I was like oh. gross. and then like two weeks later a girl on the bus abruptly disclosed her csa and we were all like ????? what ???? but I was like wait hang on there’s a word for that ☝️🤓 and explained what it meant and that it was illegal and that you could talk to a teacher or my mom if it had happened to you and everyone was like ohhhhh I see I see and very somberly comforted the girl (she was safe she was removed from her home and living with my neighbor at the time so it wasn’t Urgent)

I love when a meme gets so many steps away from its source material that it would be completely incomprehensible if I didn't know what today's date was