hi, it's me again. I don't even know how to start, because I've been inactive here for so long. I had too many complications in life during the second half of 2025, which is why I haven't had any time to manage my socials at all. I've also had a huge artblock since summer, so no new art has come out. I guess I had to announce that I'm going on hiatus, at least (οΏ£ οΏ£|||)
I'm not sure if anyone reads my blog or is waiting for new content (I don't make content bruh), but I've even stopped reblogging anything, so anyway...
I'mΒ *officially*Β declaring that I'm going on a semi-hiatus here and on other socials (οΈΆοΈΉοΈΊ) (nobody's watching them la la la) for a month or maybe more.
college is sucking the life out of me
the main reason for my absence was studying. I had EXTREMELY DIFFICULT times during december and january. kind of the worst two months of my life. we didn't even have proper winter holidays: we had to do half of the work during the break instead of resting. but, in the end, I passed everything and didn't lose my scholarship. woo-hoo! I'm so cooked and screwed and burnt out, but at least I have my scholarship!!
on top of everything, I had massive issues with my personal life. there were many conflicts within my friend group since autumn or even summer, which caused additional, totally unnecessary stress on top of the exam stress. I even had insomnia and anxiety for one or two weeks, I can't remember... for a while, I even had to stay off the internet, which is actually very difficult for an internet worm like me. but I kinda healed and yeah girl we're so back ππ
during that little journey through the circles of hell, I rethought some things about my creative work.
first... I HATE SOCIAL MEDIA! I have to make my own website on Neocities ASAP!!! I'll blog there and publish everything I do, etc., etc. even though Tumblr is supposed to be a microblogging platform, I still don't find it fun to blog here. I see how text posts don't get nearly as much traction as image posts. people here don't like to read they only want to look. and that's not my niche. I'm not only an artist but also a writer, and I want people to read my shiβ. Tumblr developers must add a "turn off notes count" function, so you don't have to think your post sucks just because it doesn't get many likes. on my own website, of course, there won't be any kind of feedback. but at least I won't think I'm boring just because of like and follower counts.
(but maybe I really am a boring ass I won't argue)
SECOND... I want to change the design of Strawpage and everythiiing again π«©π«© as if someone's watching me, ha-ha. I can't decide which aesthetic is my favorite. I don't haveΒ oneΒ aesthetic or "-core" because it's just a mix of what I like. but I've noticed that I like kawaii stuff a lot more than goth or emo or scene stuff, which I tried to be all this time. ok I'll be a white crow among other IZ fans and be soft and kawaii instead of goth or sci-fi. I also really like heisei retro and the old web
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!!
β that's what I answer every time the question "who are you? what are your interests?" randomly pops into my head. I have problems with introducing myself, and this seems to be the reason why it's hard for me to manage my socials. I yap a lot and can't express myself through my creative work. I can't realize myself as an artist. I'm actually too slow, have poor imagination, and procrastinate a lot. but lately, I've been trying to teach myself to value my free time. I have to spend it on what makes me happy, not on stress and the fear of making new things, like I did before. but I'm quite scared that college and work will take even more of my time in the near future, and I won't have time for myself again. college is ruining my life I'm gonna fuckin' quit it /nosrs
oh no my niche interests are walk in run away until it's too late
I don't like that part of me that can't talk or do anything but my hyperfixation, which is REALLY hard for most people to understand. that's why I'm so forever alone (maybe)
sooo, guess what? I'm going to dedicate all my creative work to my poor insane son Sim without a drop of shame!! (how he lied) because my brain really can't think about anything else but developing his lore and all that jazz. that's why I created a...
how many IZ AUs already exist? not that many, not like in some bigger fandomsβ and mine won't stand out much. because it's actually just my representation of Zim's β2 timeline and nothing unusual ha-ha (β ^β _β ^β γ‘β )
it may look like "basic" IZ at first glance because the core difference between the original universe and this AU is in its conception, not external differences. and I created it mostly just for my projectΒ Retrograde Maleflower. I'll explain it later because I need to have some place to store this information... that's another reason why I need to create my own website. I think Character Hub isn't good for storing AUs. that's why I'm better off creating my own place for it. Tumblr is not an option at all because, as I said, it's better as a social platform, not a blogging one.
but as for Character Hub, I will store some information about my OCs there, but not full info because some of it might violate CH's user guidelines. or I'd have to put a "mature" label but I don't want to censor anything bruh
oh yeah. my OCs... I always forget that they only exist in my head and I have to, if not draw them, at least write about them so people will know they exist. yeah, yah...
that's all for today. another blog that nobody reads, ends. I wrote it all just because I don't know how else to signal that I'm not dead πͺΎπͺΎ
