Mermaids can neither fuck nor masturbate.

Centaurs can fuck but they can't masturbate.

Satyrs have human proportions and are hybridized with an animal that has a similar reproductive system to humans, sexual acts with a satyr should be equivalent to sexual acts with a human.

Mermaids have the lower have of boney fish, and boney fish don't have sex. In case you didn't know, the majority of creatures we consider fish reproduce by laying unfertilized eggs, and then having a male come along later to spray sperm on them. None of this needs to be any more pleasurable than what you do with your saliva glands, meaning a mermaids egg/sperm hole wouldn't feel good to touch at all. Being a mermaid is essentially like being in a chastity belt/cage that you can never take off. Take this as an invitation to imagine teasing a mermaid sub knowing she can never meaningfully get off. This is also assuming the mermaids in question are half boney fish, shark merfolk can fuck and have two penises, and nobody will ever know how eel merfolk fuck.

Centaurs not being able to fuck has nothing to do with their genitals and everything to do with their body shape. A horse is extremely inflexible, and the centaurs hands would be on the opposite end of the horse body as its genitals. I don't even know if a centaur could bend down to touch its front hooves, there's no way it's getting to its pussy. Other mythical creatures with a centaur like build might have an easier time just by virtue of being more flexible than a horse, but centaurs are entirely doomed when it comes to their chances of ever touching their own genitals. Ultimately, to understand much of what centaurs are you have to understand that they function less like humans with horse parts, and more like horses with humans hands on their heads, because of how their hose and their human is divided up.

Harpies are assumed here to have bird like legs with feathers going up to their hips (meaning they have bird genitals) and arms alongside their wings instead of wings replacing their arms, if your idea of a harpy is different that's not what we're talking about here. So basically, birds don't have any penetration, but unlike fish they do make contact with each other. Basically two birds rub together until the male cums out of his dickless hole, into the female birds' egg hole. This means that harpies wouldn't be able to be penetrated, there's no reason why the inside of their bird holes would feel good, because they're made for exclusively having contact on the outside. So it would only be external contact with their genitals that feels good for them, meaning they could certainly rub themselves until they climax, but they wouldn't have anything to penetrate with, or anything that would feel good to have penetrated. Of course, if outerplay with a harpy counts as sex or not that's between you and your harpy, but you'd just be getting each other off with your hands and maybe your mouths. Also, imagining two harpies having no penetration cuddle sex is very cute. (Now, the main reason why birds don't need penetration is because unlike mammals both parties consent, and I'm assuming harpies are raptorial birds who function in the way I described, however geese are an exception, as unlike other birds the males don't care about consent, and thus have convergently evolved with mammals to have penises, and theirs are corkscrew shaped (a cockscrew if you will). So, if you see a harpy with webbed feet, watch out.)

Literary Theory - a school of thought or style of literary analysis that gives readers a means to critique the ideas and principles of literature.

Another term for literary theory is hermeneutics, which applies to the interpretation of a piece of literature.

Literary theory examines a cross section of literature from a specific era, geographic location, or from writers of specific backgrounds or identities to draw conclusions about the similarities and differences in similar kinds of literary works.

There are a variety of schools of literary theory, including feminist theory, post-modernist theory, post-structuralist theory, and more.

Literary theory helps readers gain a deeper understanding while reading literature by drawing on a critical theory to gain further insight into literary texts.

Types of Literary Criticism

There are many different schools of theory that give readers a special vocabulary to dissect any given literary text. Here are some of the most significant theories:

Practical criticism: This study of literature encourages readers to examine the text without regarding any of the outside context—like the author, the date and place of writing, or any other contextual information that may enlighten the reader.

Cultural studies: In direct opposition to practical criticism, cultural theory examines a text within the context of its socio-cultural environment. Cultural critics believe a text should be read entirely through the lens of the text's cultural context.

Formalism: Formalism compels readers to judge the artistic merit of literature by examining its formal elements, like language and technical skill. Formalism favors a literary canon of works that exemplify the highest standards of literature, as determined by formalist critics.

Reader-response: Reader-response criticism is rooted in the belief that a reader's reaction to or interpretation of a text is as valuable a source of critical study as the text itself.

The new criticism: New critics focused on examining the formal and structural elements of literature, as opposed to the emotional or moral elements. Poet T.S. Eliot and critics Cleanth Brooks and John Crowe Ransom pioneered the school of the new criticism.

Psychoanalytic criticism: Using Sigmund Freud’s principles of psychoanalysis—like dream interpretation—psychoanalytic criticism looks to the neuroses and psychological states of characters in literature to interpret a text's meaning. Other notable psychoanalytic critics include Jacques Lacan and Julia Kristeva.

Marxist theory: Socialist thinker Karl Marx established this branch of literary theory alongside Marxism, his political and sociological ideology. Marxist theory examines literature along the lines of class relations and socialist ideals.

Post-modernism: Post-modernist literary criticism emerged in the middle of the twentieth century to reflect the fractured and dissonant experience of twentieth-century life. While there are many competing definitions of postmodernism, it is most commonly understood as rejecting modernist ideas of unified narrative.

Post-structuralism: Post-structuralist literary theory abandoned ideas of formal and structural cohesion, questioning any assumed “universal truths” as reliant on the social structure that influenced them. One of the writers who shaped post-structuralist theory is, Roland Barthes—the father of semiotics, or the study of signs and symbols in art.

Deconstruction: Proposed by Jacques Derrida, deconstructionists pick apart a text’s ideas or arguments, looking for contradictions that render any singular reading of a text impossible.

Postcolonial theory: Postcolonial theory challenges the dominance of Western thought in literature, examining the impacts of colonialism in critical theory. Edward Said's book Orientalism is a foundational text of postcolonial theory.

Feminist criticism: As the feminist movement gained steam in the mid-twentieth century, literary critics began looking to gender studies for new modes of literary criticism. One of the earliest proponents of feminist criticism was Virginia Woolf in her seminal essay “A Room of One's Own.” Other notable feminist critics include Elaine Showalter and Hélène Cixous.

Queer theory: Queer theory followed feminist theory by further interrogating gender roles in literary studies, particularly through the lens of sexual orientation and gender identity.

Critical race theory: Critical race theory emerged during the civil rights movement in the United States. It is primarily concerned with examining the law, criminal justice, and cultural texts through the lens of race. Some leading critics of CRT include Kimberlé Crenshaw and Derrick Bell.

Critical disability theory: Critical disability theory is one of a growing number of intersectional fields of critical study. Critical disability theorists believe racist and ableist views go hand-in-hand and seek to examine ableist societal structures.

Importance of Literary Theory

Literary theory enables a broad appreciation of global literature.

Reading a text through the lens of literary theory provides a new perspective to better understand literature, learn more about different authors' intentions, and generally improve the quality of literature for both authors and readers.

Literary theory can also influence literature, challenging texts to evolve into new territory.

Part V

How to show grief

a vacant look

slack facial expressions

shaky hands

trembling lips

swallowing

struggling to breathe

tears rolling down their cheeks

How to show fondness

smiling with their mouth and their eyes

softening their features

cannot keep their eyes off of the object of their fondness

sometimes pouting the lips a bit

reaching out, wanting to touch them

How to show envy

narrowing their eyes

rolling their eyes

raising their eyebrows

grinding their teeth

tightening jaw

chin poking out

pouting their lips

forced smiling

crossing arms

shifting their gaze

clenching their fists

tensing their muscles

then becoming restless/fidgeting

swallowing hard

stiffening

holding their breath

blinking rapidly

exhaling sharply

How to show regret

scrubbing a hand over the face

sighing heavily

downturned mouth

slightly bending over

shoulders hanging low

hands falling to the sides

a pained expression

heavy eyes

staring down at their feet

More: How to write emotions Masterpost

"it's all in the eyes i was once told"

catching the stare of someone across a crowded room

subtle furrowing of eyebrows beyond a blank facade

coldness easing into warmth

a fond mothering gaze

corner of the lip nudged upward

forced glower/glare as they break underneath

batting their lashes, playful

a boisterous laugh

intrigue piercing the stoic

proud smugness at the other's success

lingering glances

a childish joy bursting through

pupils dilate

eyelids shut in a look of peace, calm and trust

look of longing/betrayal

"there was once a time when they were mine"

terseness

features fold into a scowl

an urgent flinching back

coldness returns (as though the warmth had never come)

lips part then purse

invasion of shock

slow stare at the floor

the ripple effect of a swallow

frustrated breath/sigh

bitter laugh in reminiscence

dread tearing through the seams of their composure

look of hatred

"darkness"

mean smirk- teeth bared grimace- scowl

dismissive gaze

gaze of contempt/impatience

threat lowering the voice

sardonic goading grins verging on manic

rolling one's eyes

flicker of irritation in the eyes

stares stubbornly ahead despite distraction

gritted teeth, clenched jaw

fierce biting remarks

even measured complexions betraying no thought

strangling oneself back from violence

utter apathy

murderous silence hanging in the stare

snobbish laughter

For the writers struggling to rid themselves of the classic ‘said’. Some are repeated in different categories since they fit multiple ones (but those are counted once so it adds up to 100 new words). 

1. Neutral Tags 

Straightforward and unobtrusive dialogue tags: 

Added, Replied, Stated, Remarked, Responded, Observed, Acknowledged, Commented, Noted, Voiced, Expressed, Shared, Answered, Mentioned, Declared.

2. Questioning Tags 

Curious, interrogative dialogue tags:

Asked, Queried, Wondered, Probed, Inquired, Requested, Pondered, Demanded, Challenged, Interjected, Investigated, Countered, Snapped, Pleaded, Insisted.

3. Emotive Tags 

Emotional dialogue tags:

Exclaimed, Shouted, Sobbed, Whispered, Cried, Hissed, Gasped, Laughed, Screamed, Stammered, Wailed, Murmured, Snarled, Choked, Barked.

4. Descriptive Tags 

Insightful, tonal dialogue tags: 

Muttered, Mumbled, Yelled, Uttered, Roared, Bellowed, Drawled, Spoke, Shrieked, Boomed, Snapped, Groaned, Rasped, Purred, Croaked.

5. Action-Oriented Tags 

Movement-based dialogue tags: 

Announced, Admitted, Interrupted, Joked, Suggested, Offered, Explained, Repeated, Advised, Warned, Agreed, Confirmed, Ordered, Reassured, Stated.

6. Conflict Tags 

Argumentative, defiant dialogue tags:

Argued, Snapped, Retorted, Rebuked, Disputed, Objected, Contested, Barked, Protested, Countered, Growled, Scoffed, Sneered, Challenged, Huffed.

7. Agreement Tags 

Understanding, compliant dialogue tags: 

Agreed, Assented, Nodded, Confirmed, Replied, Conceded, Acknowledged, Accepted, Affirmed, Yielded, Supported, Echoed, Consented, Promised, Concurred.

8. Disagreement Tags 

Resistant, defiant dialogue tags: 

Denied, Disagreed, Refused, Argued, Contradicted, Insisted, Protested, Objected, Rejected, Declined, Countered, Challenged, Snubbed, Dismissed, Rebuked.

9. Confused Tags 

Hesitant, uncertain dialogue tags:

Stammered, Hesitated, Fumbled, Babbled, Mumbled, Faltered, Stumbled, Wondered, Pondered, Stuttered, Blurted, Doubted, Confessed, Vacillated.

10. Surprise Tags

Shock-inducing dialogue tags:

Gasped, Stunned, Exclaimed, Blurted, Wondered, Staggered, Marvelled, Breathed, Recoiled, Jumped, Yelped, Shrieked, Stammered.

Note: everyone is entitled to their own opinion. No I am NOT telling people to abandon said and use these. Yes I understand that said is often good enough, but sometimes you WANT to draw attention to how the character is speaking. If you think adding an action/movement to your dialogue is 'good enough' hate to break it to you but that ruins immersion much more than a casual 'mumbled'. And for the last time: this is just a resource list, CALM DOWN. Hope that covers all the annoyingly redundant replies :)

Looking For More Writing Tips And Tricks? 

Check out the rest of Quillology with Haya; a blog dedicated to writing and publishing tips for authors!

And you can expand them to see rank, number of babies, and percentage of babies and add a second name to compare. (in 1973 four percent of babies were named Jennifer! 1 in 25!!!)

⊹ standing too close. like just barely not touching. why are their shoulders breathing on each other??

⊹ conversations that sound normal but feel like foreplay. “pass the salt” has never been so loaded.

⊹ one of them says something flirty and the other freezes for 0.2 seconds like “oh.”

⊹ eyes dropping to lips and then—back up. with effort.

⊹ holding eye contact just a little too long. like... are they gonna kiss or duel??

⊹ unintentional physical contact that lasts one second too long and now they’re both broken

⊹ a hand on the small of the back. that’s it. that’s the tweet.

⊹ tension so thick that other characters start noticing like “hey are you two okay?” (they are not)

⊹ “accidental” sleepovers. “oh no there’s only one bed.” yeah. suuuure.

⊹ biting back a smile. biting back a moan. biting anything really.

⊹ one of them walks away and the other has to physically restrain themselves from watching the hips

✧ You do not have to start with action. You have to start with interest. I will read two whole pages about someone making soup if they’re muttering about killing a god while doing it.

✧Your first sentence doesn’t have to be deep, mysterious, or poetic. It can just be “The corpse wouldn't shut up,” or “The milk was cursed again.” Get (PLEASE) weird.

✧ Starting with a dream sequence is legal only if someone wakes up and says, “That’s the third time I’ve died in my sleep this week.”

✧ The point of Chapter One is not to explain the entire world. It’s to hook the reader and emotionally blackmail them into turning the page.

✧ Introduce ONE conflict. Not five. One delicious little problem to gnaw on. “Oh no, they’re late for their job at the magical DMV.” I’m in.

✧ You don’t have to name every person your character walks past. Save the lore dump for later. If you give me eight capitalized names and two empires in the first paragraph, I will cry.

✧ Dialogue is a great opener if it makes me ask a question. If someone says “Did you hide the body?” in the first line, I’m staying.

✧ First impressions matter. So if your MC’s first action is whining about something boring, I will throw them. Gently. Out a window.

“A good oneshot is a single breath—sharp in, slow out.”

A oneshot isn’t just a short story. It’s a moment, a mood, a slice of intimacy that wouldn’t survive being stretched into a full-length fic. Here’s how to make it count.

Pick One Core Emotion

Build the whole thing around a single feeling. Obsession. Longing. Regret. Euphoria. Grief.

If a full-length fic is a symphony, your oneshot is a single piano note.

Ask: What should the reader feel when they finish?

Ex: “This oneshot is about the moment someone realizes they’ve already fallen in love.”

Limit the Timeline

Don’t span days. Or even hours, if you can help it. The strongest oneshots focus on a single scene or moment.

A kiss in a hallway.

A final goodbye at dawn.

A confession said too late.

Tight time = tight tension.

Start Late, End Early

Drop us into the scene already in motion—no lengthy set-up. And leave us just after the climax, not long after.

Don’t: “They met three years ago and…”

Do: “It’s raining the night he finally says it.”

Your oneshot should feel like eavesdropping on something private.

Structure Like This

ACT I: Setup (15–25%)

Who are we with? Where are we? What’s simmering under the surface?

ACT II: The Shift (50–70%)

Something changes. A kiss. A fight. A confession. A memory.

The mood deepens or flips—this is your emotional peak.

ACT III: The Fallout (15–25%)

How does it end? A single line. A final look. A choice not made.

Leave a lingering echo, not an epilogue.

Let Style Do the Heavy Lifting

A oneshot gives you space to lean into voice, imagery, and metaphor. Write like it’s the last thing you’ll ever write.

“He says her name like it’s a prayer, but the gods stopped listening hours ago.”

It’s one of the first instincts writers have: describe your character. What they look like, what they wear, how they move. But the truth is — readers don’t need to know everything. And more importantly, they don’t want to know everything. At least, not all at once. Not without reason.

Let’s talk about when to describe a character’s appearance, how to do it meaningfully, and why less often says more.