This story begins on April 7, 2015, I was on /r/airforce and pretending to be working as was about to be the entire rest of that year. Iād recently changed jobs again, this time out of manufacturing and into Electrical Estimation/Consulting. The job wasnāt super interesting but it paid well enough and I was kind of at a point in my life where I didnāt really know what that next step was for me.Ā
I remember it was around noonish when I got a call from my best friend, Iāll never forget the words heād said.Ā āHey you told me to call if I didnāt think I could handle it. Well, Iāve got a knife at my wrists and youāve got thirty seconds to talk me down.ā I stood, no reactions from my office chair and walked out side. He was frantic, scared, probably hadnāt slept. I didnāt realize it at the time but heād felt like the escape from the trap that had become his life and broken up with him and kicked him out the night before. In his mind he had nothing left. I told him I was downtown at work and to give me fifteen minutes to drive over, I asked him if he was at his Motherās or the place he and his ex lived. He said he was at his exās and agreed to give me time to get there.Ā
We got off the phone, I texted his ex, and she didnāt answer, I figured she was in class so I called and left a voice mail. I told herĀ āNo matter what do not go home until I tell you its safe.ā then hung up and called the Police. At this point my Dad noticed I wasnāt in the office and once I was done talking to the Five-O he asked me if everything was okay. Thatās when the mask fell and I told him what was wrong and started to cry, but only for a minute. Afterwards time was still of the essence I got in my car and drove down to he and his exās house. The police had beat me there and upon leaving I got a call from his ex and had to explain to her what had happened.
I helped her, her mother, and her father move my best friendās stuff out of their home. I felt like a traitor, because Iād promised my best friend Iād be there for him and instead had sent the police. Everyone told me Iād done the right thing, except his ex who simply stated.Ā āYou know heās going to be mad at you right?ā but the only response I could think of wasĀ āIf heās alive heāll get over it.ā But I felt like she was right, like Iād wrestled the knife from his hands and put it in his back.Ā
A few hours later his mother called trying to get a handle on things. She seemed numb to it, I donāt think she meant to be, just that after a year of struggling and this having not been the first incident she was running out of ideas. My day ended like that, long and as I lay in bed I remembered those shrieks and screams that seemed so alien to me and so horrible I hoped to God no one ever had to be in that situation. It solidified my resolve though, I decided to join the United States Air Force afterwards.Ā
The next day while I was at work I got a call from a number in Greeley of all places. It was from my best friend who I was terrified to talk to, but I answered regardless. He wasnāt mad, he wasnāt hurt. He thanked me for saving his life and asked if I could come down to the Psych Ward he was staying at. I agreed and went over after work.Ā
The staff wasnāt the best there, they kinda kept forgetting to take me to see my depressed best friend, but it worked out. His dad had just seen him and ran into me in the lobby and thanked me for saving his son. Heād I guessed heard that I was considering the Air Force and shook my hand before leaving. My best friend and I then talked about Comic-Books, and Anime, Video Games and whatever for an hour or two before I went home to eat.Ā
Time went on, I started working out again. Years of being a gamer who didnāt accomplish much other than wearing out a few computer chairs was going to take a decent amount of work to shape into someone who could survive BMT. I started slow, 20ish push ups, 20ish sit ups, 30 minutes of Cardio. I built from there until I was at 3 sets of 50 push ups, and 3 sets of 50 sit ups. I could do 30 minutes on a treadmill easily, 16 pull ups, basically unlimited crunches. My muscles had tone and Iād put on 15 pounds of weight almost all muscle mass in a year. Iād always been remarkably skinny and almost looked malnourished, but now when I walked into a room girlās heads started to turn. Now I had bright green eyes and muscle tone.Ā
Still I didnāt get out much, I worked from 0800-1600 every day and my favorite thing to do in my free time was to game still. Days rolled by quickly, before Iād known it Iād talked with a recruiter, then actually met with one, took my ASVAB and scored in the 83rd Percentile which was better than I could have hoped for. Then Iād gone in with an open contract, and found out that I would be leaving January 5th. I didnāt really notice the changes in myself, I mostly read up on Reddit about what the Air Force was like and imagined trying to get stationed at some base somewhere in Korea or Japan.Ā
My best friend asked me one dayĀ āYouāre pretty anxious about this arenāt you?ā I asked him what he meant and she responded withĀ āWell youāre more in your own head than usual.ā It occurred to me then that he wasnāt wrong. Iād always been the leader in our group of friends. I donāt know why, I guess I just have the strongest leadership mentality of everyone, it comes natural I suppose. So when I got quiet and stopped being as active everyone noticed I guess.Ā
I remember the hardest part of last year being the constant dread of not knowing what it was going to be like. I knew it was going to be really fucking hard whatever it was. I knew it was eight weeks long, almost nine if you counted zero week. I knew the first day was supposed to be super long and I knew there was going to be a lot of yelling involved. It was designed to be stressful and uncomfortable.Ā
Finally that day came, January 4th, 2016. Iād spent the entire week prior aside from one last bar run with my two best friends in the world sitting around anxiously watching Archer. We decided to watch the Last Samurai, my father, my mother and I, and about half way through we got a call from my younger brother. He is a Marine and currently stationed in Okinawa. Iād found out several months prior that he had felt super depressed there and had started to cut himself before seeking help and because of that the Marines were trying to have him discharged. They have since failed to do so and even promoted him and he seems happier now. At the time though it was at the height of our worrying for him, I remember when I saidĀ āSo I guess we wonāt get to talk for awhile.ā I started to cry. It would be at least two more months before I would speak to my brother. The little kid Iād always protected, had grown up being the best friend to, the one person I was basically powerless to help at that moment.Ā
It wasnāt done being hard though, later my family dropped me off at the Hotel in Denver where we had to wait to be sent on to MEPs for one last physical examination and then weād wait to get our boarding info and ship out for the last time. My family and I hugged and cried and prayed in the snow one last time before I made my way off into the hotel. I got into my room and my room mate for the night hadnāt shown up. I remember it was so quiet and I broke down and cried and cried. I skypeād my ex who didnāt really help anything, and a few of my friends before my parents called. I couldnāt help but be terrified Iād made a horrible mistake.Ā
I didnāt sleep much that night, my friend Ashely drove down and ate in the hotel with me, but I didnāt eat a whole lot to be honest. The next day, tired, and afraid I made my way down to breakfast and then from there we went through the entire entry to MEPs processing.Ā
I remember the sitting next to a black kid I didnāt know who was also shipping out that day and while we waited nervously and quietly this strange kid walked up and sat down next to us. The conversation was great because he was so odd compared to the entire mood thus far.Ā
āHey you guys going into the Air Force today?ā He asked.Ā
āYeah, you?ā I responded.
āYeah man, security forces. Gonna shoot some guns!ā I looked over at the black kid with an expression ofĀ āWell this our next 12 hours.ā and immediately dismissed this kid. Little did I know this moment was destiny at work and the three of us were now bound together. We continued through our processing and it ended up the three of us were sitting in a lobby waiting to swear in watching some stupid show about gators or something on TV. I would later when I was less nervous learn their names and I doubt Iāll ever forget them.Ā
The Black Kid was named Brunsen (obviously Iām not giving their first names for obvious reasons. Obviously.) He was like national champion levels of good at Chess and even competed at it. His girlfriend was pregnant and he was shipping out on Open Mechanical. The guy joining Security Forces was named Milliron, and even though I thought he was just some silly kid at first he ended up being one of my best friends by the end of the night. We also met a girl named Zalena and together we formed Flight DTMO.Ā
Now I donāt know what DTMO stands for, but I do know after they have you sign your papers and vow to die for the people of the United States they have you watch this awful video about how youāre going to get from where ever the fuck you are in America to Lackland Air Force base in Texas. It was so bad I remember Zalena and Brunsen and I trying not to laugh too loudly while we made fun it. The solution to every problem in the video wasĀ āRemain calm and call DTMO.ā which naturally we made fun of by solving all of our problems and suggesting to other people the best way to solve their problems was in fact to call DTMO, which annoyed the shit out of the Army, and Navy who were both shipping that day.Ā
Anyway after hours of Hurry up and Wait we eventually landed in San Antonio Texas and boarded a white bus headed for Lackland Air Force Base. Our home for the next 8 weeks and at this point it was like 9:00pm local time and weād been up since 4:00am that morning. While weāre on the bus its raining and every road sign makes us cringe as we looked for the dreadedĀ āLackland AFB next exitā sign. While we were going though we got passed by two chicks driving a junker with a dude in the back smoking three cigarettes and throwing up gang signs. Someone mentioned they must have known exactly who we were and then I just heard Brunsen remarkĀ āThis is the last bit of civilization weāre gonna see for eight weeks. This jack ass throwing up signs.āĀ
We then pulled into Lackland sometime later, the bus was silent, we were on pins and needles some officer came on the bus and smiled at us and said.Ā āWelcome to Lackland. Glad you all could make it and Iād like to thank you for what youāve volunteered to do here. Now Iām going to get off this bus and youāll have fifteen seconds to line up in front of the MTIās out here.ā He smiled and left and the moment he was off we heard the screaming to hurry up start.Ā
We fell out and fell in line quickly. Then the MTI games began.Ā āPlace your bags on the ground.ā We did so.Ā āDid I say Drop? No! Pick them up and Place them this time!ā We did it again, it was raining and I donāt think they wanted to stay in it so they rushed us inside. We were shuffled into a big room and then a dude with a shitty mustashe came out.Ā āThose of you wearing hoodies or jackets take them off now and put them in your civilian luggage.āĀ
We started to do so, which was difficult I might add because my civilian luggage was quiet full. However I made it work, then they ushered us into another room.Ā
āAlright listen up, youāre going to grab a parka, a parka liner, a mesh bag from over there, and an apex parka. You will put your apex parka on, you will then sit down and empty the contents of the Mesh Bag onto the ground. Then we will make sure everyone has everything.ā
This whole process takes like fifteen minutes and there was one moment where I thought I couldnāt find something but did just before I got yelled at. Then they had us line up and enter the auditorium where we proceeded to get sat down and given box nasties. Which as their name suggests are pretty fucking bad and the best part was the straw on my juice box was broken so drinking was difficult. A girl three rows down from me got so nervous she threw up and then they moved us all to the other side of the room. From here on out it was all sorting and paper work, we werenāt doing anything mind you, but waiting to hear our names. Once we heard our names we sat down in another section and waited. They were sorting us into our flights at this point.Ā
Before weād come in here weād been separated from Zalena and Brunsen, however Milliron whispered to meĀ āNo matter what happens, youāre my wingman from now on.ā We then learned each otherās names and stayed close. As luck would have it Brunsen, Milliron, and I all got sorted into the same flight. Flight 171 and we were assigned to the 322 Training Squadron, the Eagles. Second to none, come get some. Pride, Character, Excellence.Ā
We then got back on a bus and arrived at the 322nd and met up with Master Seargent Lawhorne who actually wasnāt all that bad (which was good because I was at the front of the Fourth Element which meant I was leading -.-ā). He didnāt dick us around at all, he showed us how to stand at attention then lead us up stairs. It was like 4am and he was pretty tired too I guess, so we did the whole pick a locker and pick a bed thing which we did, it wasnāt hard and then at like five am they let us sleep for four hours or so.Ā
The next morning we got raided which is of course every single male MTI storming the dorms screaming and shouting and doing whatever to get us up against the wall. It wasnāt that bad and I didnāt fuck up my reporting statement or anything or the weird little verse we had to repeat about being prepared for inspection which was good because Master Sergeant Armstrong who was our Instructor Supervisor then didnāt have to tear my head off.Ā
Later we met Technical Sergeant DiCicco who I still admire greatly even though she was a tiny scary woman who managed to make the 322nd building literally make my spirits drop at the sight of it. A week later I ended up getting pnuemonia in both lung and nearly dying of fever, a week after that I nearly tore my IT Band in PT. 10 weeks after that I was sent home and medically separated from the Air Force. During my time in I managed to become an Element Leader because apparently Iām just good at leading even if I hate doing it.Ā
Ever since Iāve gotten home Iāve thought about going back in every day. My leg is still messed up and I donāt know if itāll heal. Iām bored constantly because nothing feels exciting anymore. I work out but I donāt have any interest in going out and trying to meet cute girls anymore. I miss my brothers, I miss the pride that came with the uniform. I hate feeling like a failure. I donāt know if Iām going to go back.Ā
2087
yousharknotpass
pixelskylines
annaxmalina
blakekathryn
jacobvanloon
