Imagines.....

Chapter 2 - Padawans

Hyperspace - 22 BBY

Cal had immediately gone to her room that she was given for the trip to Christophsis on the Cruiser that was taking Ahsoka and her to the planet where their Jedi Masters were. She had a clone bring the box of lightsaber supplies that Master Yoda had made sure was on the cruiser before it left Coruscant. The now 10 year old needed to meditate and see if she would be able to re-bond with this kyber crystal. Cal kneeled on the floor and frowned slightly to herself. Am I even 10 anymore? Calista asked herself before shaking her head and doing her best to clear her thoughts as she removed her gloves and slowly disassembled her lightsaber. She gently moved the pieces of her old saber to the side and set the green kyber crystal on the floor in front of her.

The red head closed her eyes as she took a deep breath before reaching out into the Force and to her crystal. Why did you send me back? Why did you show Master Yoda enough of what I had gone through… what the galaxy had gone through? Why am I being made Master Kenobi’s padawan this time? Why? Cal whispered in her mind. She felt the Force hum faintly but did not make any kind of indication that it was going to answer her questions, making her become irritated. Perhaps she had to ask simple yes or no questions… Did you send me back to change things? Cal inhaled slowly as the Force sang softly to her question. Why did Master Yoda have visions of what I went through? Was it so that I could have the support of a Council member for changing what happened the first time?

The singing of the Force around her grew louder . A lightness that Calista had never felt before washed over her and surrounded her as if it was holding her. At the same time though, the Force seemed… almost playful towards the red head. As if it was giving a sheltered child free rein for the first time in the child’s life.

I’m currently ten. How am I supposed to change things from how they were to a different path? Sure… I will be on the front lines this time around, but again… I am physically 10 years old. I can’t do everything that you think I can do. The Force sang even louder in response embracing her. Cal felt her breathing hitch. The Force was so much lighter than she had felt in years. She had reconnected to the Force quite well over the last 6 years, but the connection that she had with the Force now was like a comforting, warm, encouraging hug. Her eyes shot open as she heard a resounding crack from in front of her. The young Jedi’s emerald green eyes widened as she saw that her once green kyber crystal had split in two just like Master Tapal’s kyber crystal had done for her previously. The biggest difference was that one half of the crystal had changed from green to teal while the other half had changed to indigo.

Both colors were rare. Even rarer than Master Windu’s purple kyber crystal. Seeing the crystal in two halves, the design of her old saber came to mind. The red head closed her eyes slowly lifting one of her hands calling on the Force as she reconstructed her saber. When the familiar weight of her saber landed in the palm of her hand, she smiled at the hilt. She had learned over the last six years how to use all three configurations - a single sided blade, a double sided blade, and two separate sabers - quite well. Her smile turned into a bright grin as she flicked her wrist and activated the teal blade.

“Woah! That is such a rare and pretty color! I don’t think I have heard of any Jedi having that color. What color is it?” Ahsoka asked, her voice cutting through Cal’s room.

Calista squeaked and jumped at the sound of Ahsoka’s voice while shutting off her saber. “Don’t scare me like that!” she exclaimed, pouting at the older padawan.

Ahsoka gave a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry, Cal. I had knocked so that way I can make sure that you got some food in your system. The door was unlocked, so I opened it and saw your saber. Was your crystal always that color?” she asked.

Cal stood from the floor and reclipped her hilt to her utility belt. “No, it used to be green,but… I needed to rebond with the crystal before we arrived at Christophsis. Hence why now it is teal… or rather half of the crystal is teal,” Cal explained to the togruta.

Ahsoka tilted her head holding an innocence that Cal wished she still had. “Half of the crystal? What do you mean by that?” she inquired.

Calista grinned. “Wanna spar and find out?” she asked, getting excited. The red head knew that she needed to get stronger in this body as her 10 year old body was weak… very weak. She also knew that Ahsoka was older, had more strength, and could move much faster; however, Cal secretly hoped that she still had the muscle memory of how to use her saber.

Ahsoka grinned back at Cal. “You’re on!” she exclaimed showing Cal to where they could have a friendly spar knowing that some of the clones on the cruiser would end up spectating the spar. The young togruta faced Cal and unclipped her own saber before slipping into the Shien variant of Form V with a back handed grip and activating her own green saber.

Calista watched Ahsoka for a long moment before unclipping her own saber from her belt. The glowing teal blade illuminated as she sank into Niman - aka Form VI - while studying the form of the older padawan. The 10 year old watched the 14 year old trying to analyze any weak spots that she had.

The spar began when Ahsoka lunged at Cal first much faster than Cal anticipated. Togrutas - if Cal remembered from her studies - were fast and had amazing reflexes to boot. The red head brought her saber up to block Ahsoka’s strike. The sound of the two sabers colliding catching the attention of multiple clones in the hangar. Their spar - though friendly - was a full on back and forth between them trading blows and blocking each other until Calista smirked at Ahsoka while blocking a strike. She brought her hand up to the other end of her light saber hilt and twisted it off activating an indigo blade while swiping at Ahsoka’s feet. Cal watched as Ahsoka flipped away from her pausing seeing that Cal now had two sabers instead of just one. The 10 year old eagerly began going on the offensive switching from Niman to Jar’Kai. However, even with the shock from Ahsoka and Cal going on the offensive, the younger padawan ended up losing the spar simply because Ahsoka was older, faster, and stronger than Cal was. Both padawans flushed when the spectating clones clapped for the spar.

Ahsoka panted and deactivated her saber before reclipping it to her utility belt and watching as Cal got up off the ground. The 14 year old was wide eyed and so very curious. “Wow! That’s so crazy! I have never seen a saber like that before! Is that what you meant by half of your crystal turned teal? What is that other color called? Is that how you can have two sabers without needing two crystals?” the togruta asked eagerly.

Cal blushed more at Ahsoka’s rapid questions. “Yeah… I know I only made my lightsaber a couple of weeks ago, but something… happened, and I had to rebond with my crystal. As a result of me rebonding with the crystal, the Force felt having a split crystal was better I guess. What’s really cool is that I technically have three configurations for my saber: this style, a single blade, and this…” She reconnected her unlit saber hilts and turned them both on showing a double sided blade.

“That is so unique!” Ahsoka said, beaming at the younger padawan. “You’d be able to throw your enemies off guard by easily slipping the style of combat that you use!”

Calista shrugged slightly while rubbing her neck. “I mean… I guess…” she murmured lightly. The 10 year old turned as red as her hair as her and Ahsoka’s stomachs growled at the exact same time - very loudly.

“Let’s go find some food. I’m sure that the mess hall is serving late meal,” she said and went to grab Cal’s free hand.

The red headed padawan went wide eyed and could barely form a syllable to stop the togruta from grabbing her ungloved hand. Cal had taken her gloves to disassemble and reassemble her lightsaber and had yet to put her gloves back on. Her vision went blurry as her green eyes became unfocused and glazed while the Force surrounded her making her feel the echo.

Ahsoka looked at Master Yoda with a nervousness that was expected of a teen about to become the padawan of the so called “Chosen One” during a brutal war. “Master Yoda, are you sure that I am ready for this?” the togruta asked the small green alien.

“Answer that, I normally cannot. Ready, you are, however, to be a padawan. Ready, you are, to help change things. Ready, you are, to show what balance means,” Yoda said cryptically confusing the 14 year old greatly.

Ahsoka frowned down at him. “Master Yoda, what do you mean by that?” she asked slowly.

“Know in time, you will. Find Padawan Kestis, I must. Wait on the landing platform, you will, for the two of us. May the Force be with you,” Yoda responded as he dismissed her.

Cal panted softly as she pulled away from her fellow padawan. Her vision was still blurry but slowly clearing.

Ahsoka went wide eyed looking at Calista. The teen togruta went to reach out for Cal, but stopped as Cal pulled away. “Cal? Are you okay? What happened? Do you need to go to the med bay?” she asked quickly in concern.

Cal shook her head as her vision continued to clear. “No,” she said a little too forcefully. “No,” she whispered, blinking rapidly to clear her vision faster. “I- I’m okay… Just please, next time… warn me before you try to grab my bare hand?” she whispered.

“O-okay, but what happened? You… you went really still, and your eyes glazed over and went blank like you were having some kind of vision,” Ahsoka said.

“I… I have… a rare force ability. It’s called Psychometry,” Cal answered softly.

“Wait, really? You’re right that it’s a rare ability,” Ahsoka told her wide eyed.

Calista nodded, inhaling deeply as she straightened. “Apparently, there is only one other Jedi in the entire Order that has this ability. It… it’s why I wear gloves all the time even when I was an Initiate. It’s also why I have to use plastic tableware because it can be really hard to control. This ability… I had to focus a lot on making sure my shields were tight… like really tight so that it doesn’t happen by accident,” Cal explained.

Ahsoka nodded while gazing at Cal. “I see. I’m sorry for not warning you before going to grab your hand,” she whispered lightly.

Cal gave a faint smile and shrugged. “It’s okay. It’s gotten better over the years, but it used to be really bad. Now, come on. I am famished. Using my ability - even if it is accidental - makes me use a lot of energy. That was why I used to eat so kriffing much,” Cal said with a smirk before heading in the direction of the mess hall on the cruiser knowing that Ahsoka was following her.

The next couple of days on the cruiser were spent mostly the same between Ahsoka and Calista. They sparred together, ate, studied, and meditated together. The pair got to know each other as Cal was going to be Ahsoka’s Master’s lineage sister meaning that they would be spending quite a bit of time together during the war. About halfway through the third day of them being on the cruiser, the pair were informed by the Admiral on board that they had reached Christophsis.

Chapter 1 - The Vergence

Elphrona - 8 BBY - Jedi Order Ruins

The Force had never felt so loud.

Calista Kestis knelt alone in the quiet chamber beneath the High Republic outpost as the palms of her hands rested against the cool stone etched with symbols older than the Jedi Order itself. The war against the Empire had carved lines into her spirit that no healing trance could smooth away. She had faced Inquisitors. She had faced Darth Vader. She had faced Jedi who fell from their path. She had watched friends fall and worlds burn beneath the banner of the Galactic Empire.

And still, the Force flowed.

Restless. Searching.

The Force hadn’t felt like this on Bracca - where it whispered beneath the rust and rain of the salvage yard. It didn’t feel like this on Zeffo - where it had echoed through tombs heavy with memory. Not even in the suffocating shadow of the Galactic Empire - where every breath had felt like defiance. Instead, the Force felt almost foreign in a way.

The chamber she sat in hummed in a way that was too hard to ignore even when her ship had barely entered the planet’s atmosphere. The pale crystal pillars felt almost like kyber crystals somehow, but Cal couldn’t explain why that was possible.

Her ever faithful companion over the last 6 years - BD-1 - chirped softly from her shoulder. His antennas flickered slightly as his photoreceptors scanned the odd readings coming from the chamber that they were in. He had never seen any kind of energy readings like this in all his years of travelling with Eno Cordova and Cal.

“I feel it too, BD,” Cal murmured softly with a frown. She was older now. Worn. Not in body alone, but in spirit. The 11 years that had passed since Order 66… since the Purge had carved patience into her and grief into the spaces between her thoughts. She had survived what most Jedi did not. She had faced what Anakin Skywalker had become.

Darth Vader.

Even thinking of the name, Cal felt ice travel up her spine. She hadn’t meant to learn the truth all those years ago when she had faced him. She was simply trying to survive long enough to escape from him with the holocron that held the name of every Force sensitive child in the galaxy. She had simply grabbed the hilt of his saber with her non gloved hand when she had been pulled into the very intense echo. The echo of Anakin Skywalker dueling with Obi-Wan Kenobi and being left to burn and die on Mustafar. That was the largest downside to having the ability of Psychometry. She had only been wearing one glove at the time she had faced Vader, but had stupidly tried to push him off with her non gloved hand. Wearing gloves had been the only way she had been able to protect herself from sensing echoes growing up. In the last six years though, she had been able to learn how to control her ability enough to where she didn’t have to wear gloves in order to prevent herself from feeling the Force echoes.

It especially didn’t help with how fragile the Hidden Path was. The Empire was getting more and more relentless in their efforts to destroy them and hunt any and all remaining Jedi and Force sensitives. And though Calista fought the Empire, though she saved who she could, it never felt like enough. It never felt like the fighting would end.

The Force surged again. Not violently. But insistently. Like a tide pulling at her ankles trying to lead her somewhere she had never been but needed to go to. It was calling to her almost… pleadingly. She didn’t understand why it was calling to her in such a way.

Cal closed her eyes and settled into meditation. She let go of the chamber, of BD’s worried trills, of the weight of her lightsaber that was clipped to her belt, of the blaster that rested in its holster on her left thigh. She reached… not for power, but for understanding. What am I meant to do now? Cal asked the Force, praying and hoping that it would provide her with an answer for once.

The answer came as heat beneath her palms. Though Cal’s eyes were closed, the crystal pillars pulsed for a moment before flaring brightly. The symbols etched into the ground beneath and around Cal ignited in lines of white-gold light, racing outwards in expanding circles that went past the pale crystal pillars.

Cal’s eyes snapped open at BD’s loud screech of alarm. “BD-” she started to exclaim before suddenly the world fractured. Memories and sensations shattered into a storm of light. The 23 year old felt herself being pulled sideways by the Force. Not forward. Not backwards. Sideways into something vast and endless that Cal couldn’t make sense of. The Force wrapped around her like a current too strong to swing against. So many images flashed in her mind… not just her own memories either. The Jedi Temple burning. Clone troopers marching. Jedi falling to blaster fire. Master Tapal protecting her from their men. Master Tapal dying in her arms in the escape pod. Anakin kneeling before a hooded shadow. Children running. Prauf being killed by the Inquisitors. Cere’s death on Jedha. BD-1 reaching towards her as distance swallowed both of them. Her lungs emptied. Sound vanished. And then… stillness.

___________________________

Coruscant - 22 BBY - Jedi Temple

Cal gasped as cold air rushed into her lungs. Her cheek was pressed against polished stone. There was no smell of smoke. There was no hum of Imperial engines overhead. There was only silence. No… not silence. She could hear the echo of distant laughter. Cal slowly opened her eyes, furrowing her brow in confusion. Glaring back at her was white marble etched with gold inlays. Her eyes slowly followed the trail of the inlays. She knew those patterns. How do I know these patterns? Cal asked herself as she turned her head to the large windows that filtered Coruscant’s endless citylights and traffic. Her heart skipped. No, she thought to herself. No, no, no- Calista pushed herself up and nearly fell back on her face as the world tilted and swayed around her. Why does the world suddenly feel bigger than I remember? Calista’s sleeves slid past her wrists. Wait. Sleeves? Why do I have loose sleeves? Why are my arms so kriffing short?! Cal finally succeeded in getting herself onto her feet. Her balance felt wrong. She held out her hands in front of her face to study them. Her hands were small… too small… and completely unscarred and worn from her years on the run.

Cal’s breath hitched as she felt her chest tighten. No! No! This is wrong. This is wrong! What is wrong with me?! Calista screamed in her mind. She touched her face trying to inspect it with her hands. The faint line from near her temple from that near miss with a Purge Trooper was gone. There was no tension carved into her jaw from years of vigilance and fighting. Her red hair was in a bob cut that ended just at her chin. She could feel the start of a padawan braid on her right side just behind her ear. There’s no braid. I’m not a padawan yet. Cal looked down at the light colored robes that she was wearing. These were basic robes… basic robes that initiates wore. Her breathing got shorter as realization hit her. She was back. Somehow she was back. She felt her hair again feeling the light stub of a padawan braid. If she had this then that meant she was about to be taken on as a padawan with a Jedi Knight or a Jedi Master. That meant she had been brought back to a mere month after the Battle of Geonosis, a month after the Clone Wars started, and a week before Jaro Tapal asked if she would be his padawan.

Calista staggered forward until she found a polished window where she could see her reflection. Her cheeks and nose still had the freckles she was born with. Her green eyes were brighter than she last remembered and unshadowed by the years of trauma. Her chin length hair still had the faint waves that she had eventually trained out of her hair and was shining brightly like it was healthy and not brittle and full of dead ends. It was the exact same style that she had while she was an initiate and a padawan before the Purge forced her to grow out her hair. Kriff! I’m ten years old again. Plus, if my memory serves me correctly, my eleventh life day is in five weeks. Sithspit! I can’t be Master Tapal’s padawan this time. I can’t. Not when I have the knowledge I do to try and change things for the better.

“Padawan Kestis, looking for you, I have been,” a voice said from behind Calista.

She knew that voice. She had grown up with that voice. The ten year old turned from the window only to come face to face with Grandmaster Yoda. She shakily bowed to him out of respect. “Master Yoda,” she greeted, swallowing thickly.

“Come with me, you must. Your master, decided he has been. Urgent, it is,” the small green alien said as he turned to walk down the hallway with his cane.

Cal blinked rapidly before realizing that Master Yoda was already halfway to the next hallway going in the direction of the landing platform before quickly following after him. Wasn’t her master going to be Jaro Tapal? He had been hinting at it for weeks if she recalled correctly. She knew that she would have to reject him when he asked her and try to petition to be someone else’s padawan like Master Kenobi since he often did missions with Master Skywalker. She glanced down as she followed after the small green alien and locked eyes with her lightsaber hilt. She had gone to Illum two weeks prior to today and gotten the crystal that she had constructed the hilt around, but something felt off about the feeling the kyber crystal gave off now. It… it didn’t feel like it was resonating with her anymore. The ten year old hadn't even realized that she had stopped following Master Yoda until she heard his voice call out to her.

“Many things, I have seen. Lived them, you did. Meditate, you must, on your way to your master,” Yoda informed her.

Calista Kestis froze as her breath left her lungs. Her emerald eyes widened as she looked up from her saber hilt and to the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order. “You… you saw… everything?” she whispered her voice cracking a little as her vision got blurry slightly.

“Enough, I saw. Different, your path is now,” Yoda explained. “Ready, the cruiser is, to take you and Ahsoka to Christophsis. Kenobi’s padawan you will be.” The small green Jedi turned and continued showing Cal the way through the temple to the landing platform where Ahsoka Tano was waiting for them next to a transport shuttle that would take them to the GAR cruiser that would head to Christophsis. “Return, Kenobi and Skywalker must,” Yoda told the pair gravely before his eyes locked onto Cal’s once more. “Everything, you have, to rebuild your lightsaber on the journey, Calista. May the Force be with you.”

“May the Force be with you, Master Yoda,” Cal and Ahsoka said at the same time while bowing to Yoda. Before the pair turned to walk into the transport for the short trip to the cruiser.

Story Guide

Normal Writing

Personal Thoughts

Location

[Emotions through Force Bond]

[Thoughts through Force Bond]

Memories from a Force Echo

Summary

A year after the events of Jedi: Survivor, Calista Kestis is pulled by the Force from her 24 year old body while meditating in the ruins of a High Republic outpost and awakens in her 10 year old body at the Jedi Temple mere weeks after the beginning of the Clone Wars. She ends up retaining all of her memories... because the Force. However, she was unaware that the Force had shown Yoda just enough of what she went through and what happened to the Jedi Order. The Grandmaster of the Jedi Order realizes how blind he had been and alters history forever by sending not only Ahsoka Tano to Christophsis, but also Calista by assigning Calista as Obi-Wan Kenobi's padawan.

Though trapped in a child's body, Cal carries the instincts of a survivor who once fought Inquisitors and witnessed the galaxy's collapse. Determined to prevent the Empire's rise, she does her best to avoid reckless revelations and instead focuses on saving her lineage brother from isolation and manipulation, saving the brothers she comes to care for and see as family, and helping bring balance to the Force.

Three months into Calista being Obi-Wan's padawan, the Force fractures again - pulling BD-1 through time as well. The small droid crash lands on Coruscant and reunites with Cal, bringing fragmented but valuable data from the dark future they both come from forcing Cal to enlist the help of her master, Ahsoka, Anakin, the 212th, and the 501st to accelerate the Republic and the Jedi Order's understanding of the Sith's long game.

As the Clone Wars continue to progress, the Force grows clearer, and Anakin becomes harder for Palpatine to manipulate. The evidence of the inhibitor chips in the clones surfaces well before Fives has to die for discovering the information allowing the Order to work to remove the chips from their clones in secret while Anakin enlists the help of Padme and Bail to work on bills that will give the clones rights when the war is finally done.

I like you. I love you and I am in love with you I have been for years.

The thing is is that over the last year we pull the same stuff where we both try to gaslight one another especially with the whole asking for specific examples. Then there’s the whole thing where neither of us can’t seem to talk to one another and it’s breaking us. I know it is. But you can’t just expect me to be okay after you say words like “you’re thinking about it” when in the heat of the moment I say “why don’t I just leave”. That has stuck with me and has made me become someone who is waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m not the only one who does that either I saw you spiral when you told me about everything with Becca*. I could tell you were just waiting for the other shoe to drop and you still are.

Everything that happened this morning, I was talking about how I feel like I can’t ask for a break when it comes to buddy but you somehow twisted it into pertaining about everything that’s been happening and how I can’t talk to you and you can’t talk to me. Then when you asked me what you could do I tried to bring the conversation back to the topic it started as because when it comes to Buddy I don’t know what you can do because you aren’t really here that much and the only real answer is be here more but that would make you work less and not really see your friends or anything and since I don’t work besides doing runs sometimes I have to be the one who is here for buddy

Also there are times when when I do tell you how I’m feeling but then because I’ve said I don’t know how I’m feeling in the same conversation you latch onto that and focus on it even though I told you multiple times throughout the day. Like a couple days ago on Friday when I was not feeling good mentally or emotionally I didn’t know how to describe it at first I didn’t know what fully was wrong and then I realized that everything is basically like an adrenaline crash how I was feeling in that moment how I was feeling on Friday was like an adrenaline crashand I was feeling like absolute dog shit and I told you that before you left then I also texted it to you and then I also told you multiple times after you got back throughout the day but you seemed to latch onto when I had said I don’t know initially. Just like how I latch onto specific words or phrases sometimes.

So many times in my life I have been told or forced to keep quiet as a result I learned to put my thoughts on paper it’s why I became a writer it’s why I drove myself to books and music. As a result it has become so so so hard for me to verbalize how I feel on the spot. Writing out how I feel and reading it to you like this is gonna be the easiest thing for me because healing takes a fuck ton of work and time and it hurts and it’s hard but I always feel now like you don’t want to accept that I can’t verbalize like you can.

There are also the times where you want to be intimate. To be honest I don’t have a sex drive and it has nothing to do with you because you’re attractive in so many different ways. I have tried with toys but they don’t work. I am not sure how it happened but I don’t have a sex drive. Like I didn’t even really have a sex drive before we got together. However there is also another thing on top of that…the fact that I have never found myself attractive. I am fat I am ugly physically and emotionally and mentally and I genuinely don’t know how you married someone like me. I know those habits can be unlearned but when you tie in how I see myself and how I don’t feel like I can ask for things and how I’ve felt that way for nearly 20 years and 12 of those were directly because of my mother. 5 years together with someone as stubborn as I am isn’t going to heal much of anything