Saikage says: “Ugly People Have No Rights!"

March 20th

The illustrious Yamanaka clan was a fundamental element of the strong foundation that Konohagakure had emerged, giving meaning to the deep ties they held to the land itself. Before the founding of the village, the ancient clan resided deep in the mountain, often  clashing with others that dared trespass upon their home. Among this came their union with what used to be their fiercest rivals, the neighboring Nara and Akimichi clans. Upon the establishment of Konoha, Hashirama Senju had drawn the lines of the village’s territory to extend right along the edge of Yamanaka's mountain home so they could utilize their skill of sensory and detect any outside threat to the young village. Despite their prior resolve to protect their land, the allure of village life eventually took hold of the clan, leading to their descent from the mountain and into settling within the bustle of the village’s central, where they would then further cooperate with the First Hokage and develop the first team of Konohan interrogators. But no matter how far they strayed from the mountain, it would always be home to the Yamanaka. The clan’s elders along with the head vowed to protect their land, even if that meant warding off oblivious civilians who may have accidentally trespassed upon the grounds.

In recent years, the village along with the sacred spot had been on the receiving end of devastation, leaving the land devoid of the life that once flourished. The sacred ground was not the only thing missing from the honorable clan, however. The life of the 15th generation clan head, Inoichi Yamanaka, had been tragically lost during the battle waged in the fourth great shinobi war, leaving his well acclaimed legacy to be inherited to his only daughter, Ino. She had attained the position of clan at the youthful and inexperienced age of 17, a transfer that prompted the scorn of many within the family that believed her too young or unfit for the vast responsibility ahead of her. This did little to dissuade the girl, very eager to honor her late father and prove her naysayers wrong.

She decided to begin her leadership with her clan’s most cherished site. Much like her ancestors, she knew very well the ground’s meaning to her family, and held precious memories of the time she had spent there with her father. The land she inherited however, had been completely unrecognizable; barren soil and no plants or animals were in sight. Any sign of life had been undetected by any sensory jutsu. That was the beginning of her vow to restore the beauty and grandeur to the sacred spot that her lineage had sought to protect for generations. Utilizing the numbers of her clansmen and her own vast proficiency in botany, she enacted a project that would breathe life back into the land and worked tirelessly to complete it. After two years of immense effort, the grounds had only just shown signs of its return to former glory, something the young Yamanaka clan head could only be proud of. And she was sure her father would be proud as well.

“-and that is pretty much why I decided to bring you up here.”

This fic ended up being over 4k, so I’m only posting a small chunk of it here. The rest can be found here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33311626

Thanks for all of your patience

(Sango stands up, leaving Miroku alone in their bedroll) "Okay...we're done here"

"What?! What do you mean 'we're done?'"

"It's been 3 days, Miroku. I want to leave the house for once"

(Miroku tries to sit up, but exhaustion makes it difficult) "Ugh (groaning) Come on Sango, 3 days isn't that long. We have the rest of our lives together now."

(Despite her own exhaustion and shaky knees, she patters around their small abode gathering up her discarded garments to begin dressing herself) "And what of it, dear husband? (mockingly) Look at you! You're exhausted!"

(Miroku gives up on his attempts to get up and flops back onto the pallet with dramatics) "A minor setback, but I'll be fine. In fact, I could die here right now and be completely content with that."

"Yeah, right. After all this time of trying to keep you alive, you think I'll let you go so easily?"

"That's the spirit! Now come back over here so we can test that sentiment." (Miroku relents to his side to face her and stretches his arms out uselessly to reach her)

"Not a chance. Now quit with the dramatics and get up. I just want some fresh air, at the very least."

(Miroku huffs like a child, but gets up and follows after her regardless) "Who really needs that stuff anyway?”

(Sango sends a glare his way. She means business) "But seeing as you cannot be convinced otherwise, I guess we can take a small break.”

Technically speaking, I’ve created a oneshot that follows the one I was still in the process of writing, but since I’ve now made more progress in this one, it might take longer for it to be released. Or maybe I can convince myself to post this one first since they are connected very lightly. 

Just wanted to let you know I’m not dead and I’m still writing despite the other things in my life taking up my energy. 

Hope this could make you laugh like it did for me as I was writing it.

See ya,

"I would like a son to inherit our family's mission"

Of course, this mission wasn't to carry on the curse that once bound his bloodline. His daughters were proof enough that he had no need for a son to burden the fate that ended with him. The mission he spoke of was to help Sango in restoring the Taijiya clan, imparting their culture and legacy to their children. He had come to accept that the ten children he asked of Sango would never be, but the desire for a son to have ten children soon formed. He could only hope that the generations that follow him will be plentiful and prosperous, and it may just start with a male heir. He couldn't help the small laugh that escaped him at the sight of his daughter; head slightly cocked and face reflecting the child-like confusion he expected from her.

"It's okay if you don't understand, sunshine."

But what he didn't expect was her little face hardening to match her rather bold retort.

"I wanna"

Hard-stopped, his gaze shifted between the two girls. Gyokuto had essentially checked out of their conversation, her attention drawn to the feeling of her yukuta's fabric in her fingers. Kin'u on the otherhand, was clear on her challenge, staring him right back in the face.

"You want to be my heir, Kin'u?"

Sango tailed the monk as he led their investigation. The villagers they had asked so far had no knowledge of the wicked demon, only of the pestering monkeys that were ravaging their fields. Her companion simply nodded, thanking them for their time and promising that the Inugami would save their village. They soon found themselves at the outskirts of the village on an empty patch of land outside the forest, save for one tall tree. Sango found his behavior during their search to be strange, especially as he now paused at the tree, leaving his Shakujo leaning against its trunk.

Was he just as stumped as she was? Would this reprieve be a chance for them to rethink their approach? 

“Why have we stopped here, Miroku?” She questioned. “Aren’t we supposed to search for Naraku’s whereabouts?”

Her befuddlement heightened as he laid his body to rest in the grass underneath the shade of the tree with a sigh, both hands pillowing his head. His intentions then became clear at the sight of his eyelids slipping shut.

“How might we do that when we have neither Inuyasha’s nose or Kagome’s detection?” His tone reflected his relaxed poise. “I merely said that so that Inuyasha would be more inclined to help those villagers.”

Her head tilted downward towards the monk’s resting face. “I understand wanting to help, but do you honestly think that Inuyasha dealing with those monkeys will get us any closer to finding him?

“Not particularly.” He punctuated the off-handed remark with a yawn, overstating his disinterest. “But enough of that... Why don’t you join me here?”

She stood awestruck at his bold request. He lays there while their friends were helping this poor village and now he asks her to do the same? If Inuyahsa were to find out, he’d surely have more pressing things to worry about than the food security of the village. 

“I don’t think it would be wise, considering your flippant lies.”

The man remained still, no sign of concern disrupting his posture. 

“If you changed back into your battle attire before our return, they’d never suspect a thing.” He ignored her statement, a peaceful smile casually appearing on his face. She instantly recognized this move. He was fully convinced he would get his way, the sleazy crook. “Besides, I’m sure sleep has been as kind to you as it has been to me as of late.”

Although it was usually hard to detect amongst his manner of speaking, the monk’s sarcasm was not missed by the slayer. She knew very well that Naraku’s sudden disappearance had their whole group on edge, including herself. And while sleep had become its own battle, the desperate investigations of their enemy have left her distracted from everything else. Sleep meant the rest needed to fight again, but it also meant time alone with one’s most intimate thoughts. What always plagued her mind nowadays were things she’d rather not willingly engage. Finding Naraku should be her biggest concern now, but she indulged her companion despite what she would consider was her better judgement.

The monk had a particular talent for steering her away from rationality.

“Knowing your pervy ways, I’m sure you’d try and sneak a peek at me”

The monk could’ve never noticed the sneer on her face behind his still-closed eyes. The same smile was plastered on his face as well, despite her accusation. He really did enjoy giving her grief, didn’t he...

“Trust me, my dear. I have no intention of moving from this spot for a while. Or at least until Inuyasha comes for my head.”

 “Then I guess you wouldn’t mind if I left Kilala here to guard this spot until I returned.”

He chuckled at that. “I don’t mind at all. I’m sure she’d love to watch me lie here, right Kilala?”  

Sango looked to the nekomata, who merely chuffed in response. She was wary of Kilala’s strange trust in the monk at times, but she was sure that the demon would keep an eye on him in case he tried something funny. 

Miroku took this as the perfect time to reveal his indigo eyes to her. 

 “Please, my intentions are more honorable than what they seem, believe me.”

There it was, that gentle voice of his used to convince her of his authenticity. The same breathy tones that sent her heart racing and her stomach in somersaults. She knew Miroku was confident in his charms, but she also liked to think that he was fully aware of this game they played. She only came to grips with it recently, but there was something going on. 

They’d fight, they’d talk it through, and just when she thought he would try to make a move, that damn hand of his would find the wrong place to caress. Or it would be when she found herself grieving once more, and he could comfort her with his words alone. How did he always know what to say that made everything clear and could heal every fiber of her being, but also had a hand that never failed to do the exact opposite? He was a truly frustrating man, but he was the only one she ever considered more than just that. 

But did he really know? That was a puzzle Sango couldn’t solve. It wasn’t as if anything meaningful resulted from these escapades. Afterwards, they would act as if nothing happened, and he would return to his typical flirtatious ways with any woman that entered his line of sight. So Sango liked to think that Miroku fully knew that he was toying with her feelings. That way it made it easier to lower her expectations and resent them despite Kagome’s not-so-subtle prodding. 

When she became abruptly aware that her eyes had been locked on him for too long, she made her hasty retreat, hoping he didn’t catch her bright red flush in the shade of the tree. 

“This man will be the death of me,” she softly cursed herself as soon as she knew she left his earshot. 

_______________________________________________________________

Upon her return to their little “spot,” she was greeted by an alert Miroku. His body was now fully upright and turned towards her approaching form. 

“You’ve accepted my invitation, I see”

“I thought you were trying to sleep”

“I still am, but I’d figured it would help if I got a quick glimpse of your beauty before-hand.”

She rolled her eyes at his shameless attempt. “You really are troublesome, you know that?”

“You wound me, dear Sango!” He unceremoniously flopped back into his previous position, his left hand patting the spot next to him. “You are free to lie beside me if you wish.” 

Without the need for consideration, she silently opted to sit against Kilala’s curled form, stretching her legs in front of her. He managed to convince her to relax alongside him, but she had no intention of allowing herself to get too comfortable around him in the likely case the monk’s wandering hands wandered once more. He sighed audibly at her decision, but allowed his eyes to close again without any further word. He could act like a child all he wanted, but she would not budge. 

She watched the man for a while, observing his state of rest. She could tell as much that he hadn’t fallen asleep just yet by all of his idle noises and the way he kept trying to steal a glance in her direction. 

“Can’t sleep?”

She hadn’t even tried to close her eyes just yet, as she was still trying to grasp their current situation. Why was he so insistent on sleeping if he was just going to try and stare at her the entire afternoon? Why did he lie to Inuyasha in the first place if this was how they would spend their time? With all these questions moving around in her head, she might as well ask for the most basic of them.

“Miroku? Why do you lie and steal as casually as you do? I always thought that monks were pure-hearted.”

“What a wonderful question!” He exclaimed. With such enthusiasm, she was almost afraid of the answer she would soon receive from him. “I’ve been traveling on my own for so long, and it’s quite difficult to acquire wealth in such unfortunate times. I wish to give aid to those in need, but I also believe that it never hurts to help yourself as well.” He settled for an even tone and let his eyes slip open once more. 

 “And you are right, It is true that holy-people such as myself are meant to be free of sin. But,  I was born tainted by the hole that resides in my hand.” His voice tapered off at his pause, the newfound silence growing thick with each passing moment. His sound returned to him, soft and low, as if it were only meant for his ears alone. 

“It doesn’t matter how much I devote myself to my faith to any idol or deity. My curse is hell-bent on deciding my fate....”

But we are trying to stop Naraku! To free you from the Kazaana. You can always change your path after that! She immediately contested, perhaps a little too loudly, but she didn’t care. How dare he speak so little of himself and avoid her gaze as he did it?! She refused to accept his belittling statements. 

“It is very hard for me to see a future for myself at this time, I’m afraid…” He brought his head up to look at her. A flash of fear ran through his eyes before he looked down once more. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t speak like that.”

He’s afraid…

And he had every right to be. 

“Please don’t apologize.”

He never showed it in front of their group, but behind that calm and smooth exterior remained a man trembling under the weight of his own mortality. He was a man after all, and men were never to show what made them most vulnerable. But with how much he gives to help others, it feels unfair for him to just allow himself to suffer inside as he did.

 If they understood each other as well as he liked to claim, then she knew he hated the restless feeling they had knowing nothing of where their wicked nemesis resided, surely plotting something to exploit the fears he caused within their hearts. Knowing that her poor brother remained in that demon’s grasp sickened her to her core, and sitting around with no leads made it hard to lay dormant as they did now. 

“I get it. I am just as frustrated as you… About Kohaku-”

“-You don’t need to go any further” He  interrupted her thoughts, I didn’t mean to remind you of your pain like that.”

 “Miroku-” 

 “-Please,” he sharply cut in once more, hoarseness settling into his throat. He must’ve noticed it as well, as he cleared his throat soon after. “let’s just try to find rest while we still can.” 

He squeezed his eyes shut, clearly trying to force unconsciousness upon himself. Sango relented, trying to relax her body, idly stroking Kilala as she watched the man slowly succumb to rest. It was surreal to see him struggle like this when it seemed like meditation was second nature to him. She decided on trying for sleep once his breathing evened out and all the remaining tension left his face. 

________________________________________________________________

Miroku wasn’t sure how long he had been asleep, but he could tell from the shadows before him had grown considerably when his eyes peered open. He turned his head to see Sango now curled up against Kilala, her face all but buried in her demon companion’s fur. He slowly rose to his feet, slightly stretching as he made an intake of his surroundings. It looked as if the sun would soon begin it’s retreat from the sky. The monk knew the rest was necessary, but he definitely didn’t look forward to another predictively sleepless night. 

One more glance at Sango’s sleeping form was enough to convince him to approach her, neglecting his Shakujo to silence his movements. He knew, probably better than anybody, of the threat imposed by the slayer’s attuned senses. He also knew the danger of being caught if she awoke to his gawking. Unfortunately it was a risk he was willing for one small fleeting moment to stare at her.

What an idiot he had been for making her sympathize with his life. Even worse that it reminded her of her own grief. He was happy to indulge her curiosity, but when he looked up at her, he turned cowardly at what he saw. It wasn’t fear, or sadness over his grim fate. It was the very same fire that lit behind her eyes in battle. 

She was prepared to fight for him, it seemed…

He dare not think that she would go any farther for that. He was not worth her death. In fact, nothing was worth her death. The honor of her clan was at stake, and her life was essential in carrying on their legacy. One measly itinerant monk with a fated death should be worthless in her eyes, even if he wanted nothing more than to keep her alive.

Even if he wanted more than anything to see a future with her.

He turned away from her, returning to his spot in a now seated position. The monk had half a mind to wake the woman, but decided against it. Every waking moment for her was its own battle, after all. She needed all the rest she could get. And he’d gladly wait for her until that battle resumed, and fight with her at every step.

And if dying for her now meant he could spend the next life by her side, then he would welcome death with open arms. 

“I hope this woman is the death of me,” he softly wished before all else melted away to his own meditation.

______________________________________________________________

Yeah I realized I took some liberties here with how Miroku and Sango’s relationship was at this point. This episode takes place after the Temptress of the Mist and Demon-Head castle, but far behind Mt. Hakurei, so what was going on with them hadn’t really become a “pattern” just yet. And Miroku had just comforted her in her grieving state for the first time right before that. Sango wasn’t deep enough to say he was her reason for living, so that’s why I kept her on the fence and didn’t have her feel too disappointed, because that’s what came after Mt Hakurei. 

I’m a sucker for long winded perspective changes, especially here with all the parallels I draw between them. Some of my best lines were written here, especially the ending line. My GOD. I swear, I wrote that and everything made sense. I said “yes” over and over again, it was so good.

Also can you tell whose voice I’m talking about when describing Miroku’s? The answer is Koji Tsujitani. I always knew about Tsujitani’s delivery that makes Miroku sound truly “fake” but I noticed rather recently how he would add so much breath, especially in serious scenes. On the other hand, Kirby Morrow played the character down and deep in his throat, which isn’t bad when talking about his overall performance, but I decided to favor Tsujitani’s performance in this instance. 

(I’m a classically trained singer and a music education major, so I’m a nut for analyzing voice acting. I have respect for both of these men may they rest in peace.)

Thanks again for the opportunity, and I hope to write more for this series. 

“KYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”

Right on cue, her husband peaked into the room. What he had witnessed was an utter catastrophe. 6 ink mice crawling across her body and she was understandably horrified.

“What’s wro-” “Ah. I see...”

“SAI! DON’T JUST STAND THERE! FIX THIS!”

“Uh…” He stuttered, proving he was just as useless in handling this as she expected. “A-as much as I would like to assist you, I am unable to control them. These are not made of my chakra.” Of course they weren’t his! Sai wasn’t the type to pull pranks like this. And even if it wasn’t a joke, he had a much better handle with his ink. There was only one other person who could be responsible.

“INOJI-mmmmph” Her husband’s hand swiftly covered her mouth to muffle her. She had an inkling of an idea to bite it.

“Don’t do that.” “If his concentration breaks, your clothes will be stained.” As rude as Sai was being, he did have a point. She would prefer it not get any worse than it could be, or else her son would be in for a lot more trouble than he anticipated. Perhaps it was just a mistake. It better be a mistake or she would make sure that the boy wished he hadn’t learned to use that brush in the first place.

His deft fingers gently scooped up two of the mice from her shoulders. The unrestrained gesture would typically make her stutter and blush at his forwardness, but in her current predicament all she could do is stand there holding back a yelp. “Just sit tight. I will handle this.”

With that, her husband swiftly left the room, leaving her alone with only her son’s animated mice to keep her company. Ino had nothing more to truly fear. She could trust Sai to fix this. It was his expertise, afterall. Maybe this time her husband would actually act like a father for once and discipline their son. She inwardly sighed; That was a long shot for sure, but she could only hope.

Inojin knew he messed up. And his fate had been sealed the moment he heard his mother’s shrill scream from down the hall.

______________________________________________________________

He was dead

He was so dead

He had always been instructed by mom to only practice the Choujuu Giga outside, but it had been raining. Dad had advised him (without mom’s knowledge of course) so that he could successfully practice indoors in the safety of his room as long as the door had been shut. And to his misfortune, he forgot the step regarding the closed door. At least he had solace that his father would also be punished. If she realized that they had conspired like this from under her nose than they would both be in for it.

The mouse perched upon his head turned towards the door with him when he heard his father’s footsteps approach his room

“Dad”

“You’ve lost control.” He fully entered the room, closing the door behind him with his foot until it was only slightly open. He had an ink mouse in each of his hands, struggling against the pressure of his grip.

He chuckled nervously. “You noticed?”

His father was never one to raise his voice, but he did express his disapproval through soft sighs and furrowed brows. He was already aware of how much trouble he was going to get into with mom.

“Do you know what caused this?”

Inojin shrugged “I don’t know how it happened, but I was fine until mom called for me.” His head dropped and the mouse tumbled to the floor, splattering into black ink onto the wood. So much for keeping tidy. “Then a bunch of them escaped.” He looked timidly back up to his father. “She found them, didn’t she.”

“Oh she found them pretty well actually. I plucked these ones right from her body.” Inojin’s stomach lurched. He was worse off than he initially thought. Dad looked down at the mice in his hands. His thumbs had secured their heads, calming their struggles down. “These drawings do not have a mind of their own, nor are they entirely mindless.” He crouched beside Inojin, setting the mice onto his scroll. He was surprised that they didn’t scamper off like before. They only sat there looking up at him. “They are an extension of your will, Inojin. They rely on you to move, so one little distraction may change their direction entirely. You must remember this.”

He did remember. Dad had been telling him that for years, ever since he was young. But here he is now, still making the same mistakes as he did when he was 5. How was he supposed to get any better at this rate? His frustration stirred within him and the mice sitting on the scroll began to tremble and distort. They were going to break at this point, and it would all be over and mom would come for both of them. His father’s hand came to rest on his shoulder, the tension built up in his body slowly releasing. “Mistakes are bound to happen, though. You are still learning.”  Dad’s smile was warm and encouraging, something that Inojin couldn’t help but reciprocate.

“You lost control like this too, right?”

The smile hadn’t faltered. “Of course I did. The Choujuu Giga was something I mastered on my own, so I made plenty of mistakes. In fact, I did something like this to my brother as well.” Inojin’s curiosity piqued at the mention of his uncle. His father’s sworn brother had tragically died years before he had been born.

“What happened?”

His father’s smile began to shift, pursing his lips as if he had been holding back a laugh. “I had drawn a snake, and when I wasn’t paying attention, it constricted him until it burst. He was completely coated in ink!” Telling the story alone was enough to free his laughter. It was a sight to behold, as he was usually very slow with humor. It must’ve been a cherished memory for him. “Anyway, I hardly saw him the rest of the week. He was probably too angry with me to talk, but I’m sure he found it as funny as I did.”

Inojin gave a worthless sniff, gluing his eyes to the scroll in front of him. The mice retained their shape, now crawling towards him. “I think you were too concerned with what Mom wanted, so they decided to figure it out for themselves. And now all you have to do is fear her wrath.” Inojin’s fingers shot up into a sign and the mice immediately scurried back to him.

The misunderstanding was eventually cleared after numerous apologies and pleas to Mom. She didn’t kill him like he envisioned, but that didn’t mean he was completely in the clear.

___________________________________________________________

Although Dad did talk her down to a week, his video games would still be confiscated. Probably locked in the same place as his father’s expensive paints for hiding from her.

___________________________________________________________

“Your clothes are stained.” The imposing presence of Danzou-sama stood before him. “Why is that?” His question barely above a whisper, drenched in suspicion. But he could already tell from his half-lidded gaze that he wasn’t impressed.

But then again, he wasn’t impressed by much...

The white haired boy stood relaxed, his eyes to one of the many trees that surrounded them. Anything was better than looking directly at him. “We were sparring. He lost control and now I’m covered in ink.”

The sounds of calming wooded atmosphere was drowned out by his master’s silence

“Look at me” His voice was still no louder than it had been before, but held a commanding power that struck fear into the boy’s heart. He forced his gaze up.

“A loss of control is not something I tolerate.” His hand moved to reach towards his bandaged eye...

“No! Please don’t punish him. He’s getting there, he just needs more practice.” The boy pleaded. Realizing that this was out of line, he swiftly bowed. “Please, forgive us!” His brother was still too young and inexperienced. He’d hate for him to receive their master’s swift hand over a simple accident.

“Very well. But I best not bare witness to such a sight ever again, or there will be consequences for the both of you. Although you may believe you are noble in taking the blame for his mistakes, it is actually a foolish endeavor.”

The boy’s eyes widened and panic set in his chest as Danzou-sama turned to trudge his way back into the forest. And just before he thought he was safe enough to catch his breath, the man halted his steps. “You know that there is no room for weak shinobi in my ranks.” He turned his head slightly around, the atmosphere intensifying. “And If he so much as passes without meeting my standards, I will do everything in my power to make sure your death is insignificant.”

And with that, Danzou-sama was gone in a cloud of smoke.

The boy’s knees buckled beneath his weight, collapsing into a seated position. Gasping for air, his lungs felt ablaze. He couldn’t restrain the coughing fit that ravaged his body, grasping tightly at his ink-stained shirt.

as much as he wanted to persuade himself that he was fine.

He was still able to keep up with his master’s demands.

He was still able to live with his brother without fear of what was to come.

He gritted his teeth. That wicked man still held them firmly within his control, his brother knowing not of what truly awaited him. Soon his brother would be all alone and forced to bear the weight of Danzou-sama’s will. His brother had to be prepared for that burden or else he could never truly be free.

____________________________________________________________

And there it is! I hope you enjoyed this long time coming one shot! 

Until Next Time!

These past few months have been pretty strenuous for multiple reasons, and I haven’t found the proper time nor the inspiration to sit down and write more of the journal. In fact, the last oneshot I wrote was directly inspired by art that took ahold of me right at the beginning of the semester. 

Besides the world constantly being on fire in 2020, the problems with my stomach hit a wall in August. I had multiple different tests done to try and find the problem, but there was no diagnosis in the end. My doctor prescribed that I start taking natural remedies to try and ease my sickness, and so far..... It’s been working! I’ve actually had an improvement in my health since then. I started taking probiotic vitamins in the morning and drinking kombucha, and now my persistent nausea during the day has disappeared. I’m down to taking one nexium before I go to bed, which is great because this medication was initially prescribed for twice a day. 

School, has been interesting so far. It’s my first true semester deep into my music education degree, and I find myself struggling in certain areas due to the pandemic. Some classes are made more difficult to achieve in, while others make it hard to attend consistently. However, I’ve been keeping my head above water relatively well regardless of that. Work......I can’t say that I’m too satisfied with my current employment. If you read my notes on AO3, you knew that the summer was about readjusting to work amid the pandemic, which went over with ups and downs, but more often the latter. I realize now that after 3 years, I am not making enough money to be dealing with the type of work environment I am currently in. Many of the coworkers that I had come to realize as family have left or plan on leaving as well because they feel the same. I gave an ultimatum to my manager that I need to get my much needed promotion and raise or I am walking out before the holiday season, which for a retail store is major crunch time. In this department is where I find the most stress, as it is transitional period. I am in the midst of finding employment elsewhere, which can hopefully give me a much larger paycheck that can help boost my savings and support my college fees. 

Free time is spent prepping. Whether it is singing, or practicing another instrument for my methods courses, or even supplemental music theory, I am in a constant state of prep work. And for watching or reading anything, there’s been a lot of comfort shows and not too much else. I took a tiny break from anime and started watching more western television. One thing that my coworkers have been wanting me to watch for ages has been Stranger Things, which I’ve enjoyed a lot so far. I took a short break from it after the slog fest that was the 2nd season, and am now on Season 3. I got access to Amazon Prime Video, so I finally watched the anime adaptation of Wotakoi, a manga I really love, and recently began watching Blade of the Immortal, which is very bloody and very interesting. But above all else, my general mindset this fall has been around one thing and one thing alone: Phineas & Ferb

A cartoon that has been one of my favorites since I was 6 years old has recently resurged in my life and has overtaken my attention once again. What was meant to be my comfort show of the lockdown during the spring has become my comfort show of the fall semester, turning into a massive hyperfixation that has overriden my thought process. Don’t worry, I didn’t go that deep. I just might’ve written 3k words of an analytical piece for the show’s emotional finale, “Act Your Age.” But I stuck true to my morals and didn’t read any fanfiction (this time). This laser focus on the show is actually 5 years late, as I was in the thralls of a fixation when the series ended back in 2015 just as I was discovering Steven Universe, which was the series that won my attention for the next year before I was captured by anime in highschool. But now, I’ve decided to take a break from it until Christmas, as I didn’t watch either of the show’s Christmas specials during my 3 month fling. Everything has connected to this show, and I mean everything, including my own musical development which I really don’t want to go into detail with. 

But today, the dreaded Election day in my country, I’ve finally found the resolve to come back to writing Saiino related things. Last night, I took a step back and began to reread my journal to re-immerse myself within my ideas, which ended up being a fantastic idea because it actually made me realize that I needed to change the perspective of the next entry. Along with that came my idea for the prompts in Yamanaka Week 2021. I actually have decided that my participation will follow it’s own running theme that coincides with my journal while also following some of the prompts. They will all be centered around 1 particular headcanon, so I hope you aren’t too dulled with my idea. It will start with my next oneshot chapter for the Sai Journal. As exciting as it is however, I will not be able to start working on this until I can clearly see the end of this semester. Be on the look out for my oneshot, “Technical Difficulties,” and any more updates about Yamanaka Week, because they are coming. I have to go to a zoom meeting for a class, so I will end it here.

Until Next Time

March 10th

I’ve been rather deep in thought the last few days over a particularly odd incident that occurred during my most recent assignment. I have never been one to pick apart missions. In ROOT, a successful job was never one to be questioned. Operatives simply moved onto the next assignment while the last was left to the shadows.

An independent investigation I had conducted under the supervision of our Lord Hokage had finally exposed a primary source of corruption that had plagued the ANBU since Danzo-sama’s shortly-lived rule as Hokage. Taking down senior operative Kido had been a massive undertaking for Sakura, Ino, and I, one that will surely reshape the system in the years to come. We still have plenty of work ahead of us in dismantling the old ways of our elders, but it is another step towards a new era for shinobi. Until then, we are set to be taking measures that do not halt or regress our progress. One preventative procedure is that I have been appointed to be the  Daimyo’s primary escort over the duration of his visits to the village. It seemed strange for someone of my caliber to act as a diplomat, but Kakashi-sama had convinced me that this was in order to instill trust that he will not be targeted again.

As grateful as I am for the changes succeeding this mission, there is one thing that has completely “floored me” or so to speak. Besides being a major break in our investigations, it was a fairly abnormal assignment to begin with. I had been appointed to a team alongside Sakura and Ino, who happened to have gotten entangled in the case by pure happenstance. I had been plenty accustomed with working with Sakura, but this was the first instance where I could say I had property coordinated with Ino on an assignment. Beside being one part of the InoShikaCho Trio, she was more often seen working in the Interrogation department, the hospital, and her family’s flower shop.

It wasn’t as if I was disappointed or uncomfortable with this assignment. In fact, I had grown well adjusted to interacting with Ino in recent months, so I expected our cooperation to be a smooth transition despite the rather unexpected circumstances. However, it seemed as if she had been rather off. I’ll admit that I am no expert in identifying emotions of others, but it looked that way through her mannerisms. She was...skittish, and easily startled, something that contradicted her status as an incredibly skilled ninja. I had assumed that she was able to handle the trials of this assignment. It would be a safe guess to say that she was uncomfortable, but I could never guess as to why that was. Even questioning this later made her squirm and wave it off.

This odd behavior continued even after the mission’s completion, when Sakura suggested the two of us share a meal together. She had been unable to meet my eyes, constantly shaking her shoulders whenever she spoke, another one of the little tics I noticed.

“Are you sure you are okay? You can tell me if I’m making you feel uneasy.” I seemed to have startled her once more with that line of questioning.

“What?!”

It came out as a squeak, foreign to her true sound. I had once read that the sound of one’s voice was also an indicator of emotional response. This particular instance further convinced me that she probably wasn’t feeling what one would consider to be “normal.” She glanced at me once before shutting her eyes completely and revealing a smile.

“I’m fine, Sai. Honestly.” She accompanied this statement with a short laugh.

Was that a fake smile?

We sat in silence for a few minutes more before she spoke up again.

“Could you at least walk me home after this? I want to show you something.”

I complied with her request as my interest piqued with her offer. I had a glimmer of hope that this “something” could give me a clue as to what had been bothering her. What I received however, only sent me spiraling further into confusion.

There were flowers in her grasp. Dogwoods to be exact. But with a single sprig of lavender lodged into the bunch.

“This is the reason for my feelings, lately. Please accept them!”

Her eyes looked sharp, focused entirely on me and her mouth was set into a frown. She looked angry, but it could’ve also been some other strong emotion. But why? She had just offered me flowers. It was strange to see something so delicate in her hands when she looked at me like that.

“I don’t understan-”

“You don’t need to understand right now. It’s okay. I’ll wait.”

I was still, no thoughts coming to mind as to how to possibly react to this situation. My gaze phased between the flowers and her. At this point, her expression softened, leaving behind a coat of redness upon her cheeks. Another smile, only this one hadn’t been like the last. This smile was true. Soft and gentle, just as it had been when she appeared to me in my subconscious. Just as I had wished to replicate through my drawings. I unconsciously reached for the flowers, my hand briefly grazing hers. It was also soft, almost as it was made to handle fragile things with care. I could only stutter words to gratitude before I left, glancing back to see her still form still standing there in front of the shop.

What was the true meaning of this mysterious gesture? I poured myself into every Hanakotoba book I could acquire. But after days of research all I could gather was a conflicting message. The dogwoods symbolized the accepting of one’s feelings.The Lavender itself symbolized the concept of waiting for another. One shouted a strong compelling request, while the other whispered patience. A truly strong message, but what did that have to do with Ino? When she offered the flowers, she explained that this was the reasoning for her odd behavior. “The reason for her feelings.” The dogwood I presume. But she also said she would wait, symbolizing the lavender. For her to send me this message meant that I was supposed to “accept her feelings.” What feelings? Why was she feeling to begin with? I should ask, but no. I want to decipher this for myself. This is much too important for me to just let go of.

I’m sorry to make you wait longer, Ino. But I need to figure this out on my own.

___________________________________________________________

Finally we get to the good stuff! So for those of you unaware. In the Sakura novel, Ino is constantly fighting down her budding feelings for Sai as they are paired off to work together in the novel, to Sai's confusion. Sai meanwhile, is quite comfortable being around Ino, comfortable enough to open the door to her in only his underwear!

In the beginning of the novel, Ino reveals to Sakura her crush on Sai, lamenting that she is still deciding on what flowers to give him. Although her and Sakura agree that the blunt message of the dogwoods suit Ino best, I like the idea that she is also waiting for Sai. She is patient in his understanding of what her true feelings are. So I said screw it and had her give him both.

Also the ending was not planned to cut off like that, but I thought it to be a good stopping point. Sai is already confused enough by the gesture, so we'll give him some time to figure it out.

Anyway, thanks for being patient with me. School is starting very soon so I can't really gauge how much free time I will have to write.

As always, comments and criticism is appreciated

See ya next time