Ash (Requests)

Also me: *gains 0.1 lbs*

Hello guys. I saw that i didn’t lost that many followers while being inactive.

I will tell you how i’m feeling right now and if you don’t wanna read it, it’s okay honey. Just scroll. 

So, i deleted tumblr when i saw myself getting better from anorexia and depression, and i never really deleted my blog, but never really got back.  Now i am feeling depressed again because i broke up ( News! i got a boyfriend! And news again: i think he kinda abused me <3 ) and it’s really hard to get over it.  But guys, quarantine is really affecting my mood. i know why i feel like shit. 

BUT, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING 

I FELT GOOD FOR LIKE, SOME MONTHS IN MY LIFE. AND BRO, I NEED TO TELL YOU HOW IT IS AND HOW I DID IT. 

I woke up everyday in the FIRST ALARM.

I did my tasks without thinking about it, like folding clothes. 

I did my skin routine for months!!1!! 

I now see myself like the strong woman i am :) 

How i did it:

1 - get some sun I HATE SUN. But omw to school, i took like, 20mins of my life soaking sun. and gosh, you really learn to like it. It feels so much better. It can cure any “i didnt do anything today” day

2 - fucking eat. i dont care if you are like “LOL I EAT LIKE A PIG” good. then eat like a pig. i just want you to eat, its okay if you gain weight because you are beautiful in any way you body gets to look like.

3 - SLEEP AT THE SAME TIME EVERYDAY i couldnt do it for weeks, and i only got around to doing it because my school is… whats the word for “all day schools?” so i slept the moment i got home. it makes life so much easier, i promise you baby

4 - stop saying “i wanna die” every minute you are just reinforcing bad habits and when you do it you end up feeling like shit all the time. also, it makes is easier for the people who like you, to know when things are really going bad, and it’s not just you.

5 - seriously. don’t joke about it.  If you say it in a daily basis, you will eventually believe it and it will make you feel empty all. the. fucking. time. 

6 - learn about things.  if everything you can do its put on a netflix documentary and dissociate the whole time, thats enough. thats good. 

7 - sometimes you gotta pretend you’re okay. no, dont bottle your feelings, accept you are feeling bad, and kinda, carry on, try not holding to the feeling, and try to pretend you are excited for little things. eventually you will be.

I FUCKING LOVE YOU. IF YOU NEED A LITTLE LOVE YOU CAN ALWAYS TALK TO ME BABYYY, I CAAARE AND I AM FUCKING PROUD PROUD PROUD OF HOW YOU ARE TAKING THIS SITUATION. SHIT. 

⚠️ disclaimer: i am in no way trying to endorse or encourage any eating disorders. these rules are only to hold me accountable and are ONLY for me. stay safe everyone ⚠️

MORNING ROUTINE

do not hit snooze. wake up by 7:30

make your bed

weigh in

drink a cup of green tea

do yoga or some morning stretches

cleanse and moisturize face

drink 2 cups of water before breakfast

make breakfast light (under 100 cals), black coffee allowed

brush teeth

get changed and put on deodorant

makeup isn't necessary unless you're going out

NIGHT ROUTINE

straighten up bedroom

if sister is working make sure the rest of the house is straightened up

exercise

take a shower. on days you don't wash your hair just put conditioner in it. cleanse face. shave if necessary

moisturize face and body and put spot treatment on any blemishes

oil nails and cuticles

drink some sleepytime tea (or other soothing tea)

brush teeth

before bed stretches or yoga

FOOD

net only 500 calories

you can eat up to 900 as long as the excess is burned off

drink 8-10 cups of water a day at least

drink 2 cups of water before every meal

one cheat meal/metabolism boost day every 10 days

BODY

stretch before exercising and in the morning and before bed

do a full body exercise EVERY DAY for at least 30 minutes

do yoga every morning

listen to weight loss subliminals and positive affirmations everyday

NO BINGING